98% of my days are spent holding 1-3 tiny humans. The other 2% is when they are all sleeping in their own beds. Pretty much they ALL want to be with me ALL the time.
It's days that look like these pictures that I feel smothered and just want 5 minutes to myself. Do I have to be everyone's pillow all the time? Do I constantly need to be touched?
Then I have days like TODAY (not pictured) that throw everything into perspective.
I took the kids to my mom's library to visit, because we hadn't been for a long time. If you ask Grace she'll tell you the last time we went was Easter, which is completely true. Thank you, perfect memory girl.
I felt like a parade of teeny people who were too small to be at that school. Even the 1st graders looked huge! The moment we walked into the office to check in I thought to myself.... wow, I guess I really do have three children under age 4.
When you go out in public you realize how much of a show you put on. Hahaha
The kids read with Grandma for awhile and then we went and said hi to some of my mom's friends. Most of them are my friends too!
We were walking back to the library and my mom wanted to stop one more place to show the kids to her friend who has a daughter with Type 1 Diabetes.
Her daughter was actually diagnosed around the same time as me, but she is quite a bit younger than me. She was in 4th grade when she was diagnosed, now she's in 8th grade!
My mom knew it would make her friend happy to see my kids, because we are living proof that life doesn't end when you have Type 1 Diabetes.
Her friend was so happy to see my babies. For her it was a glimpse at what her daughter's future can be.
Having Type 1 is hard. SO hard. It's a constant worry, constant struggle, constant burden. It can all be so daunting. For that cute 8th grader that I know, it is a future of unknowns.
I know that seeing me makes her mom hopeful though.
That seriously touched my heart so much today seeing that hope.
Looking at my life, it is a miracle that I am sitting here with 3 kids.
I was on the brink of death, trying to figure everything out 3 1/2 years ago... then 6 months later I was pregnant with Hunter.
I don't know if I'm stubborn or strong willed, but I have never let diabetes stop me.
And now having this little milk drunk face staring at me, I feel so blessed that my health hasn't stopped me from living.
There were so many things about being diagnosed Type 1 that could have either stopped or drastically slowed me down from doing the things I want to do.
The risks and possible complications are endless it seems. They are very real too! I know this. I have been told by many doctors what my limitations are.
In many ways I have proved them wrong though.
I have 2 healthy and thriving boys.
And a girl who makes my life beautifully dramatic....
...but so worth it. Hahahaha
She's really great at stealing my phone too.
I think no matter the difficulty or hardship we can always look forward with hope.
I am living proof that life can be exactly how I want it to be even with an incurable illness.
Does that mean I haven't struggled, despite keeping that optimism?
No.
I struggle just as much as anyone in my situation does. But I know I've only been given this chance to be a mom once. To be a wife! To live how I want to live. To be who I want to be.
I'll never, ever ever ever take for granted what I've been blessed with. If anything my chronic illness is a blessing, because it helps me see that more fully.
Even on days where I'm being smothered and endlessly cried on I can always see the good. I will always choose to see the positive in my life.
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