Usually...... I wake up in the morning like I did today having a glorious thought like... "Oh my goodness, it's the last day of the year! Next year is going to be so great! So many goals, so many dreams....so much wonderment!"
So then I gear up to make a Facebook status about it....because I'm very original.... and log on to find out that everybody else has already stolen my status.
..............which then makes me retreat to my blog where I can beeeee whoever I want to beeeee. (Sorry, Les Mis is on the brain cause everybody and their dog posted about that on Facebook too)
I can't tell you how many times I've logged on to Facebook and everybody has stolen my status. It's like I'm living in a mainstream society and thinking similar thoughts to events that everyone else is experiencing with me?? Or something. Whatever. I don't like it.
I wish my thoughts were original.
Nonetheless, I am super excited for the new year! Yay!! So many fun things are going to happen.....
I'm GRADUATING.
I'll have been married for two years!
Jeff's graduating too! Just not at the cool time (spring) like all the cool kids (me) do. I always thought it would be awful to graduate in the summer or winter. I feel like the glory of graduating is much greater in the spring. (............that's not really true, but in my head... I'm going to say it is.)
Anyways, this year has been good to us. I'm neverendingly (not a real word) grateful for the opportunity I have to go to school. Also, for a husband who works his freakin tail off for us.
I'm grateful for the place that we live. It's in such a convenient spot, in a nice neighborhood. Last night our landlord came over and gave us a late Christmas present. She is a hilarious old lady. We've only met her a couple times (other than Jeff's long conversations about life with her on the phone), but she's so nice. Along with our present she gave us a hundred dollars for finding people to live here. At first she couldn't find the envelope with the money though and it was so funny! She was freaking out, kept apologizing, and just made Jeff and I laugh pretty hard. I love old ladies.
She reminded me a lot of my grandma in that moment. My grandma was always worried when little things like that would go wrong. I love my grandma. I missed her a lot this holiday season.
I've had the past couple weeks off from work (one of the perks of working at a school), which means I've had lots of time to do..........really nothing...........but I've found some useful things that needed to be done. I spent a whole day deep cleaning our apartment and I was seriously amazed at how much junk we had. I ended up taking two big garbage bags of clothes, a TV, and two bags of random items we didn't need anymore to the DI. It felt really good to get it out of our apartment, but it felt even better giving it away for free.
When I dropped it all off at the DI I had this huge surge of gratitude towards the Church and everything that they do humanitarian wise. Granted, people that go to the DI have to buy the stuff they get, but I know that some of the stuff I gave has the possibility of going somewhere around the world where the people will get it for free. And even if nothing I gave ends up that way, it still made me grateful for how much service the Church does give to people around the world. I love the Church.
Well, on to the new year, I guess. We had a great Christmas full of getting way too spoiled from all three sets of our parents. They all gave us perfect, thoughtful things. I'm so grateful to have parents who love me and want to make me happy even now that I live away from them and don't see them as much as I want to or should.
On the positive side, I am going to see Breaking Dawn right now with my mom and sister! Ha ha. Don't judge me. I'm just curious to see how it is. I kind of hated part 1 so I don't have very high expectations for this one.
Well, I better go get ready. School starts next Monday! Yay! And AHH! I'm so excited, but so nervous. Bah. ....... :)
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Title of a Post. :)
I've been stalking the board where my grades get posted wishing they would all be there. I know I'm getting A's in four of my classes. The last class I MIGHT be like .2% away from an A depending on how he scores our last test. If he gives us a couple extra points for some questions like I'm hoping then I'll get an A. My first ever 4.0 in college? Kind of sad it had to be my last, huh? Ha ha. But I'll take it. If I get it, that is.
I guess I could get a 4.0 with student teaching and my internship next semester....so technically this isn't my first/last.
Nonetheless...........
I only have to go to my job 36 more times before I'm done. Do you know how happy that makes me???? So. Happy. :)
I love my job for the children. I love children! They are ridiculously cute and funny. But one of my coworkers makes my life harder than I wish it to be and that's....not cute or funny. Two of my coworkers had their last day on Friday so now it's just me, the only other good one, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the not so good one. It's going to be interesting.
But only 36 more times, right?? That seems like a lot right now.
I've been wanting to post/blog about all of the drama that's been going on on Facebook lately, but I haven't really known how to say it. I haven't really known how to properly articulate my feelings.
Oh well....let the lack of articulation begin!
There is so much negativity in the world. I feel like most people thrive on it. I know I do at times, and probably more often than I should. People love to feel strong emotions and anger is probably the strongest emotion a person can feel. People also love to feel vindicated. In some small instances it is valid to feel so. In other circumstances though it was never their position to step in and be a part of it at all and thus that feeling of vindication was never theirs to feel.
Strong emotions.
I feel like people thrive on it because it makes them feel important. It all comes back down to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. People want to feel loved, appreciated, accepted, and like they belong. Sometimes this leads people to saying really ridiculous things on social media that makes me view them in the opposite light.
I'm not really talking about any one dramatic thing that's been happening on Facebook lately. I'm talking about ALL of them. From the shooting in Newtown Conneticut to the "wear pants to church" dealio to all of the constant political fights, and even down to the littlest things of who's going to get the coolest thing for Christmas/spend their break the best.
And I'm really not talking about any one friend of mine on Facebook either.
When I first joined Facebook it was a fun way to look at people's lives and see what was happening with them. Slowly it's evolved into a competition of who can look the coolest, who can present themself to be the most important or knowledgable or up-to-date. Who can argue their way to the top. Who can seem the most sympathetic.
For all I know people have viewed my page and have thought the same thoughts about me that I'm trying to look like I'm on top. In a lot of ways I feel like I can tell the difference between people who are posting for the same reasons I do and those who don't. I hope I'm not viewed as pompous in any way.
But I regress...
I've still been posting things, but I haven't posted anything about the dramatic issues that have been talked about. And most of those issues I'm not even going to touch with a ten foot pole.
On Friday when the shooting happened, Jeff was home for lunch. He was looking at the laptop and said, "Oh my gosh, come here." He showed me the news report and I started to cry. It really hit home, I guess. I just thought about all of the students I've had over the past five years and what I would do if that happened to me.
All of the teachers who saved those children are heroes. Although I haven't been a "real" teacher yet I still have felt love for my students that is hard to explain. There are some children who are complete terrors and make your life miserable everyday, but if it came down to preserving their life you would do it.
For me this tragedy isn't focused on any political issues of what could have been or what should have happened differently....it's about the bravery and love of those educators. That's why I love education. It opens you up to a world of discovery and service to little people who need it so bad. Teachers should be recognized for their everyday bravery in taking on the challenges of their students.
Those teachers and students who were taken in the shooting should always be remembered. One of the little girls who was shot was the daughter/granddaughter of my grandparents best friends. I know that their family has the Gospel and I'm grateful for that. It makes me sad to think that more than a dozen of the parents of the young children who died don't have the knowledge of the plan of salvation. Even though that's true, I know that the people who perished in this tragedy are safe with our Heavenly Father.
Anyways, I figured I would post my feelings on my blog because Facebook has been pretty disheartening to me lately. I'm not trying to prove myself more sympathetic or on top. This is just how I feel.
I really need to get off of here and go Christmas shopping. I have severely procrastinated.......ha ha.
C'mon Tuesday, be good to me!
I guess I could get a 4.0 with student teaching and my internship next semester....so technically this isn't my first/last.
Nonetheless...........
I only have to go to my job 36 more times before I'm done. Do you know how happy that makes me???? So. Happy. :)
I love my job for the children. I love children! They are ridiculously cute and funny. But one of my coworkers makes my life harder than I wish it to be and that's....not cute or funny. Two of my coworkers had their last day on Friday so now it's just me, the only other good one, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand the not so good one. It's going to be interesting.
But only 36 more times, right?? That seems like a lot right now.
I've been wanting to post/blog about all of the drama that's been going on on Facebook lately, but I haven't really known how to say it. I haven't really known how to properly articulate my feelings.
Oh well....let the lack of articulation begin!
There is so much negativity in the world. I feel like most people thrive on it. I know I do at times, and probably more often than I should. People love to feel strong emotions and anger is probably the strongest emotion a person can feel. People also love to feel vindicated. In some small instances it is valid to feel so. In other circumstances though it was never their position to step in and be a part of it at all and thus that feeling of vindication was never theirs to feel.
Strong emotions.
I feel like people thrive on it because it makes them feel important. It all comes back down to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. People want to feel loved, appreciated, accepted, and like they belong. Sometimes this leads people to saying really ridiculous things on social media that makes me view them in the opposite light.
I'm not really talking about any one dramatic thing that's been happening on Facebook lately. I'm talking about ALL of them. From the shooting in Newtown Conneticut to the "wear pants to church" dealio to all of the constant political fights, and even down to the littlest things of who's going to get the coolest thing for Christmas/spend their break the best.
And I'm really not talking about any one friend of mine on Facebook either.
When I first joined Facebook it was a fun way to look at people's lives and see what was happening with them. Slowly it's evolved into a competition of who can look the coolest, who can present themself to be the most important or knowledgable or up-to-date. Who can argue their way to the top. Who can seem the most sympathetic.
For all I know people have viewed my page and have thought the same thoughts about me that I'm trying to look like I'm on top. In a lot of ways I feel like I can tell the difference between people who are posting for the same reasons I do and those who don't. I hope I'm not viewed as pompous in any way.
But I regress...
I've still been posting things, but I haven't posted anything about the dramatic issues that have been talked about. And most of those issues I'm not even going to touch with a ten foot pole.
On Friday when the shooting happened, Jeff was home for lunch. He was looking at the laptop and said, "Oh my gosh, come here." He showed me the news report and I started to cry. It really hit home, I guess. I just thought about all of the students I've had over the past five years and what I would do if that happened to me.
All of the teachers who saved those children are heroes. Although I haven't been a "real" teacher yet I still have felt love for my students that is hard to explain. There are some children who are complete terrors and make your life miserable everyday, but if it came down to preserving their life you would do it.
For me this tragedy isn't focused on any political issues of what could have been or what should have happened differently....it's about the bravery and love of those educators. That's why I love education. It opens you up to a world of discovery and service to little people who need it so bad. Teachers should be recognized for their everyday bravery in taking on the challenges of their students.
Those teachers and students who were taken in the shooting should always be remembered. One of the little girls who was shot was the daughter/granddaughter of my grandparents best friends. I know that their family has the Gospel and I'm grateful for that. It makes me sad to think that more than a dozen of the parents of the young children who died don't have the knowledge of the plan of salvation. Even though that's true, I know that the people who perished in this tragedy are safe with our Heavenly Father.
Anyways, I figured I would post my feelings on my blog because Facebook has been pretty disheartening to me lately. I'm not trying to prove myself more sympathetic or on top. This is just how I feel.
I really need to get off of here and go Christmas shopping. I have severely procrastinated.......ha ha.
C'mon Tuesday, be good to me!
Monday, December 10, 2012
Soapboxes Waiting for Christmas
I'm the kind of person that can't let things sit. If I have the ability to make things happen then you better believe they will be happening.
My mom and Jeff make fun of me for this all the time. I have zero patience when it comes to life decisions. If I don't feel calm or content about something in the future then I have to talk about it till it's fixed and I feel good.
It's a problem.
The fact that I am this way is a problem...........not the making fun of me part. Ha ha :)
Anyways.......
Remember my last post about my internship??
Ha ha ha, well that's all figured out now! (I couldn't let it sit) I'm actually doing it at a daycare/preschool/kindergarten. After not hearing from the Early Intervention people for almost two weeks I had to give up and go with a preschool.
In a lot of ways it's not really giving up though. This place is supposed to be super good quality which makes me excited. My professor recommended it so I'm hoping it'll be awesome. The reason why it's not giving up is because I feel like I need this experience to get over my crazy biased stigma against daycares.
Oh my goodness, I hate daycares. That's another problem I have. (ha ha)
Yes, I'm on my soapbox, don't judge me.
I also had a really bad experience with a daycare about a month ago. I don't think I blogged about it?
I applied to work at this daycare..........because I was sick of my job (which is a whole other story :) ) and I wanted to work with littler kids. They called me in for a "working interview" which meant they wanted me to come in and teach a half hour lesson to four year olds.
I prepared this adorable lesson with Pete the Cat (and his four grooooooooovy buttons) and it was going to be the best thing ever. I actually worked pretty hard on it which is another reason that made me so upset about it later when it ended up being completely ridiculous.
Sigh.
So I went in for the "working interview" and the director of the place didn't talk to me. This random worker was like: "Oh....uh....I think you're supposed to be in this room..." I went into the room and it was utter chaos. Fifteen 2-4 year olds going crazy! There were two workers in there texting on their phones and showing each other funny youtube videos. I was kind of shell shocked.
So then the two workers said hi to me and asked me to help with the snowflake making at a table in the corner during "center time". Neither of them knew how to make snowflakes........but for some reason they made it one of their lessons for the day.
Brilliance!
They proceeded to scream at the children to "sit their butts down and listen". (I would have hated to see the look on my face cause I bet I looked completely terrified) So once the children set their butts down we divided up into groups and I took some kids and made snowflakes.
While I was making snowflakes one of the two workers came over and looked at what we were doing. Apparently her son was sitting at the table with me. He was just cutting out a snowflake and his mom (the worker) looked at him and screamed (not exaggerating) something about sitting his butt down (common theme). Then she weirdly looked over at me and said: "Sorry, he's mine, he drives me crazy." I was kind of taken back/confused so I said: "He's your son?" and she said: "Yeah, and he's autistic so that's why he's like that."
I just froze and had to contain my anger. There was NO way she just called that kid "autistic". There was nothing even remotely autistic about him. He was fully verbal, he didn't show any of the little autistic tendencies that autistic children have, he was completely normal. I was about to lose it when she said that. I wanted to tell her how I knew all about autism because I worked for a year with severely autisitic children and her son wasn't even in the same ball park as any of them. He didn't even have aspergers (lower form of autism) as far as I could tell. I have a kid at my work right now who has aspergers and no offense.........but you can tell when a child has a disability like that.
Oh my goodness.....craziness.
Weeeeeeeeell.......an hour later (I was only supposed to be there for a half hour) this lady comes in and asks me if I'm the one that needed the laptop (I had called the day before because I needed a computer to play the Pete the Cat song. The lady on the phone had told me to bring my own which I did.) I informed her that I had one, but I was pretty sure they weren't going to give me a chance to do my lesson. She looked super awkward and was like....."oh....uh....ok" and then left.
Another fifteen minutes went by and then the two workers were like: "Uh....so you can probably leave now. The director will call you tomorrow to let you know if you got it or not."
...............................................................................................
She'll what?
She'll let me know if I got it?? How on earth would she know? She never saw me "working".
Yep. I hate daycares.
So I'm thinking this internship will be a good experience for me to get past how much I hate them. The directors of this place that I'm doing my internship graduated from Weber in Early Childhood recently and they sound awesome! I'm hoping since they went through the same program as me that they will employee the same ethics and practices that I believe in. *crossing my fingers*
Having my phone out/not paying attention to children, screaming at children, and not engaging with children are all reasons why I don't like daycares. So I'm hoping none of that will go on during my internship.
I can't stand it when caregivers don't pay attention to children in jobs like that. It drives me utterly mad. It's your JOB to play with the children....to teach the children.......to love the children......to create a happy and safe environment so they can learn. Ugh.
That's the number one reason I'm taking on the career that I am. To do all of those wonderful things so that children can learn, feel safe, be happy, etc. If I was doing it for the money that would be a joke. There is no money in it, ha ha. If I was doing it for myself that would also be a joke because working with children in early childhood (or any age) is hard work and tires you out very fast.
In the end, it's all about the children.
*gets off of soapbox*
Obviously I still have a little bit of anger surrounding that interview experience. Ha.....sorry.
It's all over now so I just need to move forward!
Jeff and I have been so busy this semester I feel like we haven't really had a chance to sit down and enjoy the holiday season yet.
We set up our tree last night and it's beautiful! I love Christmas trees. I put on an ornament that my grandma gave me a couple years ago and it made me cry. I love my grandma.
I got home today from work and there was a present under the tree for me from Jeff already.
I love him.
He really is the biggest trooper ever. Lately I've been having a lot of anxiety over what is going to happen in the future with next semester, graduating, finding a job, etc. and he's dealt with it all and never complained. He deserves a gold medal for putting up with me.
Now I just need to get done with my three finals and then I feel like I can settle down and just enjoy the Christmas season.
I'm so grateful for Christ's birth and for the life He lived. I think the crazier my life gets the more I realize how amazing His sacrifice for us was. The busier I am the more I find myself needing that extra help that comes from the Atonement. We sang Silent Night yesterday in church and it made me cry thinking about the miracle of His birth. I'm grateful to know that He lives and that His church is true.
<3 p="p">
My mom and Jeff make fun of me for this all the time. I have zero patience when it comes to life decisions. If I don't feel calm or content about something in the future then I have to talk about it till it's fixed and I feel good.
It's a problem.
The fact that I am this way is a problem...........not the making fun of me part. Ha ha :)
Anyways.......
Remember my last post about my internship??
Ha ha ha, well that's all figured out now! (I couldn't let it sit) I'm actually doing it at a daycare/preschool/kindergarten. After not hearing from the Early Intervention people for almost two weeks I had to give up and go with a preschool.
In a lot of ways it's not really giving up though. This place is supposed to be super good quality which makes me excited. My professor recommended it so I'm hoping it'll be awesome. The reason why it's not giving up is because I feel like I need this experience to get over my crazy biased stigma against daycares.
Oh my goodness, I hate daycares. That's another problem I have. (ha ha)
Yes, I'm on my soapbox, don't judge me.
I also had a really bad experience with a daycare about a month ago. I don't think I blogged about it?
I applied to work at this daycare..........because I was sick of my job (which is a whole other story :) ) and I wanted to work with littler kids. They called me in for a "working interview" which meant they wanted me to come in and teach a half hour lesson to four year olds.
I prepared this adorable lesson with Pete the Cat (and his four grooooooooovy buttons) and it was going to be the best thing ever. I actually worked pretty hard on it which is another reason that made me so upset about it later when it ended up being completely ridiculous.
Sigh.
So I went in for the "working interview" and the director of the place didn't talk to me. This random worker was like: "Oh....uh....I think you're supposed to be in this room..." I went into the room and it was utter chaos. Fifteen 2-4 year olds going crazy! There were two workers in there texting on their phones and showing each other funny youtube videos. I was kind of shell shocked.
So then the two workers said hi to me and asked me to help with the snowflake making at a table in the corner during "center time". Neither of them knew how to make snowflakes........but for some reason they made it one of their lessons for the day.
Brilliance!
They proceeded to scream at the children to "sit their butts down and listen". (I would have hated to see the look on my face cause I bet I looked completely terrified) So once the children set their butts down we divided up into groups and I took some kids and made snowflakes.
While I was making snowflakes one of the two workers came over and looked at what we were doing. Apparently her son was sitting at the table with me. He was just cutting out a snowflake and his mom (the worker) looked at him and screamed (not exaggerating) something about sitting his butt down (common theme). Then she weirdly looked over at me and said: "Sorry, he's mine, he drives me crazy." I was kind of taken back/confused so I said: "He's your son?" and she said: "Yeah, and he's autistic so that's why he's like that."
I just froze and had to contain my anger. There was NO way she just called that kid "autistic". There was nothing even remotely autistic about him. He was fully verbal, he didn't show any of the little autistic tendencies that autistic children have, he was completely normal. I was about to lose it when she said that. I wanted to tell her how I knew all about autism because I worked for a year with severely autisitic children and her son wasn't even in the same ball park as any of them. He didn't even have aspergers (lower form of autism) as far as I could tell. I have a kid at my work right now who has aspergers and no offense.........but you can tell when a child has a disability like that.
Oh my goodness.....craziness.
Weeeeeeeeell.......an hour later (I was only supposed to be there for a half hour) this lady comes in and asks me if I'm the one that needed the laptop (I had called the day before because I needed a computer to play the Pete the Cat song. The lady on the phone had told me to bring my own which I did.) I informed her that I had one, but I was pretty sure they weren't going to give me a chance to do my lesson. She looked super awkward and was like....."oh....uh....ok" and then left.
Another fifteen minutes went by and then the two workers were like: "Uh....so you can probably leave now. The director will call you tomorrow to let you know if you got it or not."
...............................................................................................
She'll what?
She'll let me know if I got it?? How on earth would she know? She never saw me "working".
Yep. I hate daycares.
So I'm thinking this internship will be a good experience for me to get past how much I hate them. The directors of this place that I'm doing my internship graduated from Weber in Early Childhood recently and they sound awesome! I'm hoping since they went through the same program as me that they will employee the same ethics and practices that I believe in. *crossing my fingers*
Having my phone out/not paying attention to children, screaming at children, and not engaging with children are all reasons why I don't like daycares. So I'm hoping none of that will go on during my internship.
I can't stand it when caregivers don't pay attention to children in jobs like that. It drives me utterly mad. It's your JOB to play with the children....to teach the children.......to love the children......to create a happy and safe environment so they can learn. Ugh.
That's the number one reason I'm taking on the career that I am. To do all of those wonderful things so that children can learn, feel safe, be happy, etc. If I was doing it for the money that would be a joke. There is no money in it, ha ha. If I was doing it for myself that would also be a joke because working with children in early childhood (or any age) is hard work and tires you out very fast.
In the end, it's all about the children.
*gets off of soapbox*
Obviously I still have a little bit of anger surrounding that interview experience. Ha.....sorry.
It's all over now so I just need to move forward!
Jeff and I have been so busy this semester I feel like we haven't really had a chance to sit down and enjoy the holiday season yet.
We set up our tree last night and it's beautiful! I love Christmas trees. I put on an ornament that my grandma gave me a couple years ago and it made me cry. I love my grandma.
I got home today from work and there was a present under the tree for me from Jeff already.
I love him.
He really is the biggest trooper ever. Lately I've been having a lot of anxiety over what is going to happen in the future with next semester, graduating, finding a job, etc. and he's dealt with it all and never complained. He deserves a gold medal for putting up with me.
Now I just need to get done with my three finals and then I feel like I can settle down and just enjoy the Christmas season.
I'm so grateful for Christ's birth and for the life He lived. I think the crazier my life gets the more I realize how amazing His sacrifice for us was. The busier I am the more I find myself needing that extra help that comes from the Atonement. We sang Silent Night yesterday in church and it made me cry thinking about the miracle of His birth. I'm grateful to know that He lives and that His church is true.
<3 p="p">
Saturday, December 1, 2012
My Brain on Wednesday/Saturday
From Wednesday Night:
Sometimes you just don't feel like working on your research paper that's due next Monday. Tonight is one of those times. I seem to blog a lot when I don't want to do homework. Hmmm...oh well. :)
My research paper is on Asian Indian families (...........like people from India. If I said Indians everyone would think Native Americans :) ). It shouldn't be too hard once I actually do it. It's only eight pages and I've done all the research already. I just need to write it. Justification, right? Mmmmm hmmm.
I've always loved India for some reason. When I was younger people would ask me if I could go anywhere in the world where would it be and I would say India. Everyone else would say all the normal places like..........Italy or Ireland or China....but not me. It was always India. For some reason the third world thing fascinates me. I got a taste of that when I went to Indonesia, I suppose.
Today at work at the end of the day I was playing with a fourth grade girl and her kindergarten brother while we were waiting for their mom to pick them up. They wanted to play tag (what they really wanted was for me to chase them). As I was chasing them (aka running behind them close enough to scare them, but not actually getting them....I've become a pro at this) the fourth grade girl kind of stopped and said to me: "Amber, you're really good with children!" and then kept running.
It made me laugh so hard! Ha ha ha ha ha. It boosted my self esteem that a CHILD would say that to me, but it was just hilarious how she said it. She's one of those children that really wants to sound mature all the time, but still loves being a kid and playing. I've noticed that a lot with the kids around that age. They are kind of stuck between wanting to be little and wanting to look cool and older.
I love the kids at my job. They have taught me a completely different culture than I'm used to and I love it. Most of our kids are Latino which in all honestly I wasn't really used to before I started this job. Before I worked this job I really hadn't had a lot of close contact with many Latinos. They have such a fun culture though. They are a lot more affectionate than any other kids I've ever worked with which is funny sometimes. I'm constantly having children hug me or holding my hand.
It's kind of fun experiencing different cultures. It's definitely opened my eyes to what other people are like and how they handle life.
From Today:
Sorry, I never finished the post from Wednesday so I thought I would tack it on to what I'm saying today!
I'm in a dilemma. Okay, it's not a dilemma to anybody but me, but still it's a big deal to me! The reason it's a big deal is because the universe is out of order and when that happens my brain doesn't stop till it fixes.
Along with my student teaching I have to do "work experience". It's 135 hours of a practicum/internship. Basically I get to test taste a career.
Well, for the LONGEST time (probably two years) I've been wanting to work for the Baby Watch program/early intervention.
I had this brilliant plan that they would hire me and I could work there for the next year while Jeff finishes his bachelor's (he'll be getting it next December). Only, the other day my supervising professor told me that it's supposed to be an UNpaid internship.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
So now I don't know what to do. Due to logistics and other types of long explanations that I don't want to go into it's not really possible for me to get paid at the early intervention "job".
(unless they have a job opening.......which believe me, I've checked everyday for the past three months and there never is anything. Plus I've talked to the coordinators at Davis and Weber County and they both said no dice as far as openings come)
It's through the school districts and they don't do internships in the first place so if they did it would definitely have to be unpaid and it's only going to work out if they really like me....blah blah blah.
OR I COULD go to a good preschool and get a job (yes, paid job) there and count that as my "work experience". I could. But do I want to?
I mean, ultimately after my children are grown up and in school I want to do preschool out of my home............but that's what my student teaching is preparing me for. I really wanted to do the early intervention job because I wanted to, like I said, taste test if it would be something I'd want to do as a career.
Ok, so in the end this doesn't seem like a big deal to anybody, but me. And maybe I'm ridiculous, but I just hate not knowing how things are going to turn out.
If I got an internship with early intervention then it would be just that. An internship. Short term. So in a lot of ways a preschool job would be BETTER cause then I could keep it, like I said, for the year I need till Jeff graduates...........or beyond that.
The closer I get to graduation the more I realize how I want to work for awhile. Two years ago when Jeff and I got married I was BEYOND baby hungry and was planning out to have a baby like the month after I graduated, ha ha ha. But now that I'm so close I realize that I really actually want to do something with it? It meaning my degree? I don't know if that makes sense. In the end, I've gone to a university for 4 1/2 years, I want to do something with it. I'm not saying I want to give up motherhood for ten years, cause that's not even close to what's on my mind.
But A year....maybe.
I think about all of the things that I'm going to do as a stay-at-home mom and it makes me really excited.......but also a little nervous.
I think it's interesting being part of the generation where women are becoming incredibly independent and want careers more than ever before. I haven't really caught the career fever, because I will be staying home and raising my kids, but I still think I'll feel some guilt in not working. Whenever I ask Jeff if it's okay that I'm not going to work he always gets mad (okay, not truly mad) and says that all he's ever wanted was to be the provider and let his wife stay home.
Is it normal to still feel guilty though?
He did tell me that other night though that he thinks my job (being a stay-at-home mom) will be much harder than any job he'll ever do. That made me look at it in a different way which was good.
One thing that I always tell myself will be different once I'm a stay-at-home mom is I'll be able to cook more and be better at it. (Any stay-at-home mom that's reading this is shaking her head no like that's not true) I really want to try though. I know it's not realistic, but you have to realize............I go to school full-time and work........then when I'm not doing those things I'm writing papers or studying for tests. I have NO time. When I'm staying home.........even with a crying baby and all of the responsibilities I'll have...I find it hard to believe that I won't have at least a little bit more time than I do now.
Another thing I want to do is play my harp. Ugh.........I want to play so bad. It makes me sad a lot to look at it and not have time to play. That's one thing I really hope I'll have time for. Even after I graduate and am working, I hope that the lack of school will give me time for that.
Anyways, enough of those hopes and dreams. I think I'm just a worrier and think too much. My great-grandma was a worrier. My grandma was too. My mom is......and my sister and I are now.
It's genetic.
Or learned.
Nature Vs. Nurture.... don't even get me started on that.
Well, that research paper I wrote about on Wednesday? I'm about 66% done. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the other 34% is about to commence as soon as I hit publish on this post.........
Sometimes you just don't feel like working on your research paper that's due next Monday. Tonight is one of those times. I seem to blog a lot when I don't want to do homework. Hmmm...oh well. :)
My research paper is on Asian Indian families (...........like people from India. If I said Indians everyone would think Native Americans :) ). It shouldn't be too hard once I actually do it. It's only eight pages and I've done all the research already. I just need to write it. Justification, right? Mmmmm hmmm.
I've always loved India for some reason. When I was younger people would ask me if I could go anywhere in the world where would it be and I would say India. Everyone else would say all the normal places like..........Italy or Ireland or China....but not me. It was always India. For some reason the third world thing fascinates me. I got a taste of that when I went to Indonesia, I suppose.
Today at work at the end of the day I was playing with a fourth grade girl and her kindergarten brother while we were waiting for their mom to pick them up. They wanted to play tag (what they really wanted was for me to chase them). As I was chasing them (aka running behind them close enough to scare them, but not actually getting them....I've become a pro at this) the fourth grade girl kind of stopped and said to me: "Amber, you're really good with children!" and then kept running.
It made me laugh so hard! Ha ha ha ha ha. It boosted my self esteem that a CHILD would say that to me, but it was just hilarious how she said it. She's one of those children that really wants to sound mature all the time, but still loves being a kid and playing. I've noticed that a lot with the kids around that age. They are kind of stuck between wanting to be little and wanting to look cool and older.
I love the kids at my job. They have taught me a completely different culture than I'm used to and I love it. Most of our kids are Latino which in all honestly I wasn't really used to before I started this job. Before I worked this job I really hadn't had a lot of close contact with many Latinos. They have such a fun culture though. They are a lot more affectionate than any other kids I've ever worked with which is funny sometimes. I'm constantly having children hug me or holding my hand.
It's kind of fun experiencing different cultures. It's definitely opened my eyes to what other people are like and how they handle life.
From Today:
Sorry, I never finished the post from Wednesday so I thought I would tack it on to what I'm saying today!
I'm in a dilemma. Okay, it's not a dilemma to anybody but me, but still it's a big deal to me! The reason it's a big deal is because the universe is out of order and when that happens my brain doesn't stop till it fixes.
Along with my student teaching I have to do "work experience". It's 135 hours of a practicum/internship. Basically I get to test taste a career.
Well, for the LONGEST time (probably two years) I've been wanting to work for the Baby Watch program/early intervention.
I had this brilliant plan that they would hire me and I could work there for the next year while Jeff finishes his bachelor's (he'll be getting it next December). Only, the other day my supervising professor told me that it's supposed to be an UNpaid internship.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek.
So now I don't know what to do. Due to logistics and other types of long explanations that I don't want to go into it's not really possible for me to get paid at the early intervention "job".
(unless they have a job opening.......which believe me, I've checked everyday for the past three months and there never is anything. Plus I've talked to the coordinators at Davis and Weber County and they both said no dice as far as openings come)
It's through the school districts and they don't do internships in the first place so if they did it would definitely have to be unpaid and it's only going to work out if they really like me....blah blah blah.
OR I COULD go to a good preschool and get a job (yes, paid job) there and count that as my "work experience". I could. But do I want to?
I mean, ultimately after my children are grown up and in school I want to do preschool out of my home............but that's what my student teaching is preparing me for. I really wanted to do the early intervention job because I wanted to, like I said, taste test if it would be something I'd want to do as a career.
Ok, so in the end this doesn't seem like a big deal to anybody, but me. And maybe I'm ridiculous, but I just hate not knowing how things are going to turn out.
If I got an internship with early intervention then it would be just that. An internship. Short term. So in a lot of ways a preschool job would be BETTER cause then I could keep it, like I said, for the year I need till Jeff graduates...........or beyond that.
The closer I get to graduation the more I realize how I want to work for awhile. Two years ago when Jeff and I got married I was BEYOND baby hungry and was planning out to have a baby like the month after I graduated, ha ha ha. But now that I'm so close I realize that I really actually want to do something with it? It meaning my degree? I don't know if that makes sense. In the end, I've gone to a university for 4 1/2 years, I want to do something with it. I'm not saying I want to give up motherhood for ten years, cause that's not even close to what's on my mind.
But A year....maybe.
I think about all of the things that I'm going to do as a stay-at-home mom and it makes me really excited.......but also a little nervous.
I think it's interesting being part of the generation where women are becoming incredibly independent and want careers more than ever before. I haven't really caught the career fever, because I will be staying home and raising my kids, but I still think I'll feel some guilt in not working. Whenever I ask Jeff if it's okay that I'm not going to work he always gets mad (okay, not truly mad) and says that all he's ever wanted was to be the provider and let his wife stay home.
Is it normal to still feel guilty though?
He did tell me that other night though that he thinks my job (being a stay-at-home mom) will be much harder than any job he'll ever do. That made me look at it in a different way which was good.
One thing that I always tell myself will be different once I'm a stay-at-home mom is I'll be able to cook more and be better at it. (Any stay-at-home mom that's reading this is shaking her head no like that's not true) I really want to try though. I know it's not realistic, but you have to realize............I go to school full-time and work........then when I'm not doing those things I'm writing papers or studying for tests. I have NO time. When I'm staying home.........even with a crying baby and all of the responsibilities I'll have...I find it hard to believe that I won't have at least a little bit more time than I do now.
Another thing I want to do is play my harp. Ugh.........I want to play so bad. It makes me sad a lot to look at it and not have time to play. That's one thing I really hope I'll have time for. Even after I graduate and am working, I hope that the lack of school will give me time for that.
Anyways, enough of those hopes and dreams. I think I'm just a worrier and think too much. My great-grandma was a worrier. My grandma was too. My mom is......and my sister and I are now.
It's genetic.
Or learned.
Nature Vs. Nurture.... don't even get me started on that.
Well, that research paper I wrote about on Wednesday? I'm about 66% done. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the other 34% is about to commence as soon as I hit publish on this post.........
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Sweet Thank You's
Blogging two days in a row??? Whoa. It's like I'm a real blogger or something. :)
I've been thinking a lot about varying socioeconomic status lately. I talk about it all the time in my classes and I'm faced with at my work everyday.
Working with inner city kids is tough. They push me to my limits all the time. I look at some of our students and tell myself that my children will never act that way/will never disrespect adults how they do sometimes/will never do this and that. But I can't really know that for sure. I can't control what my children will do.
Parents get blamed for out of control kids a lot, which........yes, if you're doing drugs and abusing your children then you can be to blame, but many times it's not the parents fault. One thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is the cycle of poverty inner city families face and how it's hard to get out of it. I've been thinking about how poverty affects children and although they might have good parents....the situation they are in makes them act out.
It seriously breaks my heart looking at some situations some of my students are in. There is one little boy who just barely moved here from Mexico. He is the sharpest, cutest, and happiest kid. Oh my goodness, he's so great! I love talking to him.......but he only knows Spanish. .......and I guess I DO know Spanish.
Kind of.
I talk to him and get the gist of what he's saying usually.
The reason this situation breaks my heart is because now that he's here he's an ESL student and has a big disadvantage. He's at least two or three grade levels ABOVE the other kids his age. At least. But now that he's an ESL student he might as well be that many levels behind. I have no idea what kind of school he was going to in Mexico, but it was top notch! He's really good at math and reading.....he just checks out perfectly in so many academic ways.
This kid is a testament that stereotypes about immigrants should be thrown away and burned, because he really is so smart and well-rounded. He's always wanting to help, even though he doesn't speak English and doesn't know how to articulate what he wants.
I'm sure his family had a good reason for coming here, but it still makes me so sad that they are at such a big disadvantage with the language and everything else that comes from immigrating here.
It makes me wish I could clone myself a hundred times and do something more than I already am doing.
We went on a field trip today to the Punkinaze which actually turned out to be a blast! Although... I had so much anxiety over it before we went.
Forty kids........four teachers.......a CORN MAZE........
I don't know about anybody else, but my ONLY experiences with corn mazes have been going with my friends and getting lost for 2-3 hours. Like legitimately getting lost. Ha ha.
So yeah.....anxiety.
It turned out super fun though. {Minus the kids not listening on the bus and a little girl puking on the ride home.}
They have two huge slides (seriously huge) that are outside of the maze. Half of our kids spent the whole time just playing on those. And nobody got lost in the maze! (probably cause it was daytime and it was an easy maze, ha ha)
Going and doing things like that make me really realize how INCREDIBLY blessed I am. So. Incredibly. Blessed.
On the way there in the bus we passed Walmart and ten or so of our kids got SO excited! And I'm not talking about normal kid "Hey, look it's Walmart!" kind of excited. This was a different level.
"I love Walmart! I go there all the time!" .... "It's such a cool place!" ..... "Yeah, Walmart is the best!"
It sounds kind of funny, but it seriously opens your eyes to the lives that these kids have.
I know there is no way any of my students do the things that I did when I was little. I was always in dance lessons. I played the harp. I went on two week long vacations with my family every summer with smaller vacations in between. I took voice lessons. I was in musicals. I took art lessons. I did tumbling and t-ball. I did soccer till I decided I didn't like playing it.........my students don't even get to decide if they like things like that because they don't get those opportunities in their lives.
They get to go to Walmart....and that's a cool thing.
So when we got to the Punkinaze it didn't surprise me at all that they were all ECSTATIC. They were screaming and smiling bigger than ever. They had SO much fun and kept telling me that they were.
There is one boy in particular who probably is my favorite (but I would never tell any of them that) who came up to me and thanked me for taking him there. He was genuinely so happy that he got to go.
Yes, in the majority culture we teach our children to mind their manners and say thank you when it's appropriate. But how often does a child actually truly feel that much gratitude and express it so sweetly (without being told) when someone has done a nice thing for them?
It brings me joy to see kids, who struggle through so many things, be so happy. Most of our kids struggle in school. Others struggle making friends or keeping friends. Some have hard family lives. It's nice to sit back and know that at least for that forty-five minutes they were able to be completely free and have fun.
I don't really think there is a reasonable answer to breaking the cycle of poverty, but it is comforting to know sometimes that even though you're not doing a lot, at least you made somebody happy for the day.
I've been thinking a lot about varying socioeconomic status lately. I talk about it all the time in my classes and I'm faced with at my work everyday.
Working with inner city kids is tough. They push me to my limits all the time. I look at some of our students and tell myself that my children will never act that way/will never disrespect adults how they do sometimes/will never do this and that. But I can't really know that for sure. I can't control what my children will do.
Parents get blamed for out of control kids a lot, which........yes, if you're doing drugs and abusing your children then you can be to blame, but many times it's not the parents fault. One thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is the cycle of poverty inner city families face and how it's hard to get out of it. I've been thinking about how poverty affects children and although they might have good parents....the situation they are in makes them act out.
It seriously breaks my heart looking at some situations some of my students are in. There is one little boy who just barely moved here from Mexico. He is the sharpest, cutest, and happiest kid. Oh my goodness, he's so great! I love talking to him.......but he only knows Spanish. .......and I guess I DO know Spanish.
Kind of.
I talk to him and get the gist of what he's saying usually.
The reason this situation breaks my heart is because now that he's here he's an ESL student and has a big disadvantage. He's at least two or three grade levels ABOVE the other kids his age. At least. But now that he's an ESL student he might as well be that many levels behind. I have no idea what kind of school he was going to in Mexico, but it was top notch! He's really good at math and reading.....he just checks out perfectly in so many academic ways.
This kid is a testament that stereotypes about immigrants should be thrown away and burned, because he really is so smart and well-rounded. He's always wanting to help, even though he doesn't speak English and doesn't know how to articulate what he wants.
I'm sure his family had a good reason for coming here, but it still makes me so sad that they are at such a big disadvantage with the language and everything else that comes from immigrating here.
It makes me wish I could clone myself a hundred times and do something more than I already am doing.
We went on a field trip today to the Punkinaze which actually turned out to be a blast! Although... I had so much anxiety over it before we went.
Forty kids........four teachers.......a CORN MAZE........
I don't know about anybody else, but my ONLY experiences with corn mazes have been going with my friends and getting lost for 2-3 hours. Like legitimately getting lost. Ha ha.
So yeah.....anxiety.
It turned out super fun though. {Minus the kids not listening on the bus and a little girl puking on the ride home.}
They have two huge slides (seriously huge) that are outside of the maze. Half of our kids spent the whole time just playing on those. And nobody got lost in the maze! (probably cause it was daytime and it was an easy maze, ha ha)
Going and doing things like that make me really realize how INCREDIBLY blessed I am. So. Incredibly. Blessed.
On the way there in the bus we passed Walmart and ten or so of our kids got SO excited! And I'm not talking about normal kid "Hey, look it's Walmart!" kind of excited. This was a different level.
"I love Walmart! I go there all the time!" .... "It's such a cool place!" ..... "Yeah, Walmart is the best!"
It sounds kind of funny, but it seriously opens your eyes to the lives that these kids have.
I know there is no way any of my students do the things that I did when I was little. I was always in dance lessons. I played the harp. I went on two week long vacations with my family every summer with smaller vacations in between. I took voice lessons. I was in musicals. I took art lessons. I did tumbling and t-ball. I did soccer till I decided I didn't like playing it.........my students don't even get to decide if they like things like that because they don't get those opportunities in their lives.
They get to go to Walmart....and that's a cool thing.
So when we got to the Punkinaze it didn't surprise me at all that they were all ECSTATIC. They were screaming and smiling bigger than ever. They had SO much fun and kept telling me that they were.
There is one boy in particular who probably is my favorite (but I would never tell any of them that) who came up to me and thanked me for taking him there. He was genuinely so happy that he got to go.
Yes, in the majority culture we teach our children to mind their manners and say thank you when it's appropriate. But how often does a child actually truly feel that much gratitude and express it so sweetly (without being told) when someone has done a nice thing for them?
It brings me joy to see kids, who struggle through so many things, be so happy. Most of our kids struggle in school. Others struggle making friends or keeping friends. Some have hard family lives. It's nice to sit back and know that at least for that forty-five minutes they were able to be completely free and have fun.
I don't really think there is a reasonable answer to breaking the cycle of poverty, but it is comforting to know sometimes that even though you're not doing a lot, at least you made somebody happy for the day.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Research Paper? What's that?
Some days I just want to be a stay-at-home mom and play my harp, ha ha. Today is one of those days. Don't get me wrong, I love school and what not. I love my major and everything that I learn. Young children are the best! Most days I even look at how close I am to graduating and I kind of freak out thinking.... "I'm really that close? I need to learn as much as I can before I can't anymore!" ........then there are days like this where I look at the countdown app on my phone and it tells me I have 185 days till I graduate and I feel like that's twelve years away.
Today between one of my classes I was talking to one of my friends who is in a couple of classes with me.
We like complaining about how ridiculous our one professor is.
It's pretty great.
Anyways, she's a Family Studies major (yes, hardly anybody knows what that is, it's okay if you don't either, ha ha) and I was asking her what she wants to do with it. She was telling me she wants to do social work type things and I was like....oh cool. Then I proceeded to tell her about how quite a few girls that I know who are doing that major want to be stay-at-home moms and that I thought it was an awesome major if someone wanted to do that.
My friend kind of shut me down and said something to the affect of........"I don't know why anybody would want to go to school if they were just going to be a stay-at-home mom."
I was like: "...oh....uh....yeeeeah?" Ha ha ha.
That's the main reason I generally don't tell people that I'm "JUST" going to be a stay-at-home mom. They usually don't understand why I'm going to school and all that jaaaaaazz.
And really, I probably don't have a way awesome reply to why I am going to school other than I like to learn (and the ever popular/practical reason, that it's nice to have a backup plan just in case my husband and I need a second income). In particular I like to learn about the development of young children so that's what's pushing me to graduation!
I'm mostly writing this post because I'm in the middle of writing a research paper, ha ha ha. Well, I'm actually taking a break because I'm frustrated with the paper. It's only supposed to be five pages long and right now I'm sitting at seven pages. That's kinda backwards, right?
And NO I'm not claiming to be totally awesome at research papers. Cause I'm not.
I blame two things........
-The topic (because it's something I'm really passionate about).
-And the fact that over the summer my overachieving professor made me write a 17 page research paper on bulimia (which how much can you REALLY say about bulimia after you've gone over the basic: it's bad, it's sad, don't do it, self esteem is good type statements)........and so consequently I tend to get really long winded on research papers when I don't have to.
So yeah, I'm ignoring that paper for now.
The topic is on "play" as a way of learning in early childhood. I love play because it IS learning when used correctly. If you don't believe me ask me to read my seven....I mean five page paper. It's true. When I have a pre-school/kindergarten class someday it's gonna be all about play!
There isn't really anything else going on in my life right now. Mostly just waiting and dreaming about the future. My husband always has to bring me back to the now, because for some reason I live a lot in the future, ha ha.
I called the Weber-Morgan Early Intervention center today because I really just want to work with babies and young children again, ha ha. I'm technically not supposed to do my internship/work experience till May, but I'm not a very patient person. (Obviously)
For my work experience I want to get into an early intervention type job. Davis and Weber counties both have one and I've contacted them both now and it was pretty much like a "we'll get back to you" kind of thing. They are both through the school districts which means they don't really have any formal internship type programs set up. I basically just need to wait till an actual job opening opens up and try to get that.
So yep. Just gotta wait!
I think once I start my student teaching in January the void of not working with young children that I'm feeling will be filled again. Ha ha ha.
Till then I'm just making it through this semester! Just a little over a month left! It's gone by super fast, which is good.
Well, I guess I better go finish my paper.
Or maybe I'll go get a snack. Yeah, that sounds a lot more inviting. :)
Today between one of my classes I was talking to one of my friends who is in a couple of classes with me.
We like complaining about how ridiculous our one professor is.
It's pretty great.
Anyways, she's a Family Studies major (yes, hardly anybody knows what that is, it's okay if you don't either, ha ha) and I was asking her what she wants to do with it. She was telling me she wants to do social work type things and I was like....oh cool. Then I proceeded to tell her about how quite a few girls that I know who are doing that major want to be stay-at-home moms and that I thought it was an awesome major if someone wanted to do that.
My friend kind of shut me down and said something to the affect of........"I don't know why anybody would want to go to school if they were just going to be a stay-at-home mom."
I was like: "...oh....uh....yeeeeah?" Ha ha ha.
That's the main reason I generally don't tell people that I'm "JUST" going to be a stay-at-home mom. They usually don't understand why I'm going to school and all that jaaaaaazz.
And really, I probably don't have a way awesome reply to why I am going to school other than I like to learn (and the ever popular/practical reason, that it's nice to have a backup plan just in case my husband and I need a second income). In particular I like to learn about the development of young children so that's what's pushing me to graduation!
I'm mostly writing this post because I'm in the middle of writing a research paper, ha ha ha. Well, I'm actually taking a break because I'm frustrated with the paper. It's only supposed to be five pages long and right now I'm sitting at seven pages. That's kinda backwards, right?
And NO I'm not claiming to be totally awesome at research papers. Cause I'm not.
I blame two things........
-The topic (because it's something I'm really passionate about).
-And the fact that over the summer my overachieving professor made me write a 17 page research paper on bulimia (which how much can you REALLY say about bulimia after you've gone over the basic: it's bad, it's sad, don't do it, self esteem is good type statements)........and so consequently I tend to get really long winded on research papers when I don't have to.
So yeah, I'm ignoring that paper for now.
The topic is on "play" as a way of learning in early childhood. I love play because it IS learning when used correctly. If you don't believe me ask me to read my seven....I mean five page paper. It's true. When I have a pre-school/kindergarten class someday it's gonna be all about play!
There isn't really anything else going on in my life right now. Mostly just waiting and dreaming about the future. My husband always has to bring me back to the now, because for some reason I live a lot in the future, ha ha.
I called the Weber-Morgan Early Intervention center today because I really just want to work with babies and young children again, ha ha. I'm technically not supposed to do my internship/work experience till May, but I'm not a very patient person. (Obviously)
For my work experience I want to get into an early intervention type job. Davis and Weber counties both have one and I've contacted them both now and it was pretty much like a "we'll get back to you" kind of thing. They are both through the school districts which means they don't really have any formal internship type programs set up. I basically just need to wait till an actual job opening opens up and try to get that.
So yep. Just gotta wait!
I think once I start my student teaching in January the void of not working with young children that I'm feeling will be filled again. Ha ha ha.
Till then I'm just making it through this semester! Just a little over a month left! It's gone by super fast, which is good.
Well, I guess I better go finish my paper.
Or maybe I'll go get a snack. Yeah, that sounds a lot more inviting. :)
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Grandma
My one and only grandma I've ever known passed away last night. She was 75 years old. She had only been diagnosed with cancer just a month ago, but it came on too strong and took her from us faster than we ever thought it would.
As I was crying last night Jeff was holding me and said: "Ya know, I really don't know how people outside of the Gospel handle death...it would be so hard if you really thought that was the end."
It's so sad to us that there are so many people in the world that don't have the comfort of the Plan of Salvation. Without that knowledge I think I would be so bitter and resentful right now. But I'm not.
I love my Heavenly Father and while I cry because Grandma isn't with ME anymore, I'm happy because she's with her parents, her brother, and so many other people she loved for so long in her mortal life again. And most importantly she's back with God and our Savior. She's not in pain anymore, which she had been in a lot pain for the past couple months.
It'll be a strange adjusting period for my family because everything that's ever involved holidays has been surrounded around Grandma. It's like we are stepping into a new phase of life - my mom is now a grandma herself and likely will be getting more and more grandchildren in the near-ish future to make up our new extended family.
Since my grandma is the only one I've ever known she had a big impact on my life. So much of her personality got passed on to my mom, my sister, and I.
My grandma always was concerned about other people. She rarely (or really, never) thought about herself. She was constantly worrying about someone and how she could make things better for them. I remember several times in my life where she would voice her concern to me about my situation. I think it was the best way she knew how to love people was by serving them and caring about what was happening to them.
The most recent time she was concerned about me was about six months ago when she took me aside and told me I needed to graduate from college before having a baby. I kind of laughed and told her I was going to wait, but even though it was funny that that would be a concern of hers I thought about it later and how sweet it was that she would be thinking about my future and what was best for me.
I think I got my laugh from my grandma. My grandma always laughed loud and long. I loved making her laugh and I probably tried too hard most of the time to do so. I think I inherited my laugh from her, because whenever I truly laugh....which is generally only around people I'm comfortable with.....I kind of sound like her.
My grandma's name was Karen Margean, but she always went by Margean her whole life. My name is Amber Margean which I love. Growing up people always said my middle name wrong and sometimes they thought it sounded old, but I never cared. I love being named after my grandma. I love the concept of linking two people together like that. It's always made me have a very special place in my heart for her.
I want to pass on something special like that to my daughters when I have them. I feel like it connects you with your ancestors (living or not) and gives you a better appreciation for them.
Aside from being named after my grandma, I think my favorite part about her was how she called me her Sunshine. Like I said, I loved making my grandma laugh.........ever since I was little. I loved that she saw that happiness in me and really saw the best in me come out. Grandmas have a way of doing that, I think. She always made me feel so special and so loved. Being her "Sunshine" was a constant reminder to me that I needed to remember to shine and be happy. That's all my grandma really wanted was for me to be so so happy.
And really........I am so so happy. I have the best, most supportive husband. I have a wonderful family and someday will have an awesome family of my own. Maybe that's why my grandma had to leave, because she needed to warn my future children all about me, ha ha.
I love my grandma and I love God for placing me in her life.
This week is going to be hard, but I love that I can feel the comfort of my Savior and know that my grandma is happy. :)
As I was crying last night Jeff was holding me and said: "Ya know, I really don't know how people outside of the Gospel handle death...it would be so hard if you really thought that was the end."
It's so sad to us that there are so many people in the world that don't have the comfort of the Plan of Salvation. Without that knowledge I think I would be so bitter and resentful right now. But I'm not.
I love my Heavenly Father and while I cry because Grandma isn't with ME anymore, I'm happy because she's with her parents, her brother, and so many other people she loved for so long in her mortal life again. And most importantly she's back with God and our Savior. She's not in pain anymore, which she had been in a lot pain for the past couple months.
It'll be a strange adjusting period for my family because everything that's ever involved holidays has been surrounded around Grandma. It's like we are stepping into a new phase of life - my mom is now a grandma herself and likely will be getting more and more grandchildren in the near-ish future to make up our new extended family.
Since my grandma is the only one I've ever known she had a big impact on my life. So much of her personality got passed on to my mom, my sister, and I.
My grandma always was concerned about other people. She rarely (or really, never) thought about herself. She was constantly worrying about someone and how she could make things better for them. I remember several times in my life where she would voice her concern to me about my situation. I think it was the best way she knew how to love people was by serving them and caring about what was happening to them.
The most recent time she was concerned about me was about six months ago when she took me aside and told me I needed to graduate from college before having a baby. I kind of laughed and told her I was going to wait, but even though it was funny that that would be a concern of hers I thought about it later and how sweet it was that she would be thinking about my future and what was best for me.
I think I got my laugh from my grandma. My grandma always laughed loud and long. I loved making her laugh and I probably tried too hard most of the time to do so. I think I inherited my laugh from her, because whenever I truly laugh....which is generally only around people I'm comfortable with.....I kind of sound like her.
My grandma's name was Karen Margean, but she always went by Margean her whole life. My name is Amber Margean which I love. Growing up people always said my middle name wrong and sometimes they thought it sounded old, but I never cared. I love being named after my grandma. I love the concept of linking two people together like that. It's always made me have a very special place in my heart for her.
I want to pass on something special like that to my daughters when I have them. I feel like it connects you with your ancestors (living or not) and gives you a better appreciation for them.
Aside from being named after my grandma, I think my favorite part about her was how she called me her Sunshine. Like I said, I loved making my grandma laugh.........ever since I was little. I loved that she saw that happiness in me and really saw the best in me come out. Grandmas have a way of doing that, I think. She always made me feel so special and so loved. Being her "Sunshine" was a constant reminder to me that I needed to remember to shine and be happy. That's all my grandma really wanted was for me to be so so happy.
And really........I am so so happy. I have the best, most supportive husband. I have a wonderful family and someday will have an awesome family of my own. Maybe that's why my grandma had to leave, because she needed to warn my future children all about me, ha ha.
I love my grandma and I love God for placing me in her life.
This week is going to be hard, but I love that I can feel the comfort of my Savior and know that my grandma is happy. :)
Monday, October 1, 2012
Babies and Beyond
I entitled this like I did because I like messing with people's heads. Ha ha.....sorry, I'm really not that funny.
(just in case you don't get it, I think it's funny because my family and friends are going to think I'm pregnant if I mention the word "baby" in anything :) )
I love babies and small children more than...................really anything......and I show it quite rigorously.......so naturally I think most people think I should have been pregnant long ago. Especially since I've been married for a year and a half.
Seriously, I should have two babies by now, right? :)
A year and a half. Jeff and I kind of completely skipped over our half anniversary this year. Whoops! That was 5 days ago, I guess. Hmmm...it's ok.......it's not like a half birthday where the half cake is next to necessary.
So anyways, I'm not pregnant. Sorry for the title. It's a Monday..........my husband is going to be gone till 9:00 tonight cause he's a good student.......I really just needed entertainment, even if this doesn't trick anybody. :)
This post IS about babies though! I've been thinking a lot about small children lately. Mainly because I study them everyday at school and work and in my personal life when I happen upon one. I love toddlers and pre-schoolers, they are seriously so fascinating. I love asking them questions and seeing how they view the world.
Every time somebody asks me what my major is I'll tell them and they will pause and then say... "So, what does that mean?" I just kind of laugh and explain it to them. The next thing they usually say is: "You must be SUCH a patient person, that's so great! I could never do that...etc."
I usually just take the compliment, cause I don't like proving people wrong, ha ha. But really, I think my professor said it best about a month ago at the beginning of the semester when he said: "People in our profession always get told that they must be extremely patient people working with small children, but rather than being patient, we really just 'understand' the small children to the point of giving them what they need......teaching them....etc."
I sooooooooooooo agree with that. I consider myself a patient person with small children, but really it's because I feel like I understand them. I don't think I could ever work with teenagers or adults, because for the most part, I flat out don't understand them at all.
My biggest frustrations in life, that I voice to my husband probably more than he wants to hear, are how completely ridiculous I feel like other adults are. The way they act, the way they present their lives, the way they treat others.......I don't understand it, and that's why it's a good thing I'm an Early Childhood major.
I could have never been a business major like my husband. All they do is work with adults! Jeff will listen to me rant about people and he'll put his two cents in, but for the most part our conversations will end with him saying how everyone is different. He'll generally leave the conversation without any guile or misunderstanding or weirdness towards the person.
I feel like I'm the same way with little kids. Many people look at babies or small children and they will think......why are they crying, why do they misbehave so much, why can't their parents just deal with them......and I'll leave my opinion of that child similar to how my husband leaves his of adults.
I should have taken an adult psychology class......it probably would have helped me out a little bit, ha ha.
Speaking of babies, my sister-in-law had her baby on Friday last week! She's the first baby in the Hunter family. I have nine nieces and nephews on Jeff's side of the family so I'm pretty used to kids being around in that situation, but my side has never had babies so it'll be fun!
On a completely unrelated note, today in one of my classes I had to explain to one of my classmates what the word "discern" means. (This is another reason why I can't work with adults, because I don't know how to dumb things down for them without treating them like complete idiots) I was kind of baffled in the first place why she didn't know this word......but then when I had to explain it to her again ten minutes later it was even weirder, ha ha.
Oh the American education system.......it's a gem. And I will soon be part of it as a chosen career. Cheers. :)
(just in case you don't get it, I think it's funny because my family and friends are going to think I'm pregnant if I mention the word "baby" in anything :) )
I love babies and small children more than...................really anything......and I show it quite rigorously.......so naturally I think most people think I should have been pregnant long ago. Especially since I've been married for a year and a half.
Seriously, I should have two babies by now, right? :)
A year and a half. Jeff and I kind of completely skipped over our half anniversary this year. Whoops! That was 5 days ago, I guess. Hmmm...it's ok.......it's not like a half birthday where the half cake is next to necessary.
So anyways, I'm not pregnant. Sorry for the title. It's a Monday..........my husband is going to be gone till 9:00 tonight cause he's a good student.......I really just needed entertainment, even if this doesn't trick anybody. :)
This post IS about babies though! I've been thinking a lot about small children lately. Mainly because I study them everyday at school and work and in my personal life when I happen upon one. I love toddlers and pre-schoolers, they are seriously so fascinating. I love asking them questions and seeing how they view the world.
Every time somebody asks me what my major is I'll tell them and they will pause and then say... "So, what does that mean?" I just kind of laugh and explain it to them. The next thing they usually say is: "You must be SUCH a patient person, that's so great! I could never do that...etc."
I usually just take the compliment, cause I don't like proving people wrong, ha ha. But really, I think my professor said it best about a month ago at the beginning of the semester when he said: "People in our profession always get told that they must be extremely patient people working with small children, but rather than being patient, we really just 'understand' the small children to the point of giving them what they need......teaching them....etc."
I sooooooooooooo agree with that. I consider myself a patient person with small children, but really it's because I feel like I understand them. I don't think I could ever work with teenagers or adults, because for the most part, I flat out don't understand them at all.
My biggest frustrations in life, that I voice to my husband probably more than he wants to hear, are how completely ridiculous I feel like other adults are. The way they act, the way they present their lives, the way they treat others.......I don't understand it, and that's why it's a good thing I'm an Early Childhood major.
I could have never been a business major like my husband. All they do is work with adults! Jeff will listen to me rant about people and he'll put his two cents in, but for the most part our conversations will end with him saying how everyone is different. He'll generally leave the conversation without any guile or misunderstanding or weirdness towards the person.
I feel like I'm the same way with little kids. Many people look at babies or small children and they will think......why are they crying, why do they misbehave so much, why can't their parents just deal with them......and I'll leave my opinion of that child similar to how my husband leaves his of adults.
I should have taken an adult psychology class......it probably would have helped me out a little bit, ha ha.
Speaking of babies, my sister-in-law had her baby on Friday last week! She's the first baby in the Hunter family. I have nine nieces and nephews on Jeff's side of the family so I'm pretty used to kids being around in that situation, but my side has never had babies so it'll be fun!
On a completely unrelated note, today in one of my classes I had to explain to one of my classmates what the word "discern" means. (This is another reason why I can't work with adults, because I don't know how to dumb things down for them without treating them like complete idiots) I was kind of baffled in the first place why she didn't know this word......but then when I had to explain it to her again ten minutes later it was even weirder, ha ha.
Oh the American education system.......it's a gem. And I will soon be part of it as a chosen career. Cheers. :)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Today.
I haven't posted in awhile....... but I have class in ten minutes so this is going to be quick!
Things on my mind today:
I LOVE FALL!!!!!!!! I love it, I love it, I love it! Fall is seriously the greatest season of them all. I get so happy for reasons that are unknown, but nonetheless, great. I love the weather (I wore my cute coat today for the first time this year), I love the leaves, I love the activities that happen (General Conference, Halloween, Thanksgiving), and I love getting ready to celebrate Christmas (which in turn has nothing to do with fall, but whatever, the anticipation is brilliant)! I love fall.
I also love psychology. I learn SO much about myself and people I know when I study psychology. I'm grateful that all of my classes are psychology based. My major is pretty much the best of all possible majors. In my Young Children At Risk class this morning we talked about some awesome things relating to psychology and it made me very happy.
Everyone ever has a baby and a house. Everyone. Ever. Luckily I'm not really wanting those two things today otherwise I might be very jealous. (k, it's not that I DON'T want those things, I just don't want them right now) Seriously though, you can't go on Facebook and not see a new baby or a new house. Seriously. Ha ha. It makes me happy for the future, I guess?!
I really really really want to do my student teaching. Really badly. As much as I love sitting in class and learning cool things (like psychology), I wish I was doing my student teaching too. I love my job (most days), but it's working with old kids.......old kids are weird.............yes, I'm calling eight and nine year olds "old kids". I just LOVE toddlers and pre-schoolers......sigh. Wishing I was doing my student teaching today.
That's about it for now.....sorry, this is really short and scattered.....I gotta go learn about immigration now in my next class. It'll be good. I'm sure a couple of my classmates will have very opinionated views on it. I'll just sit in the background and watch the mad debates happen. :)
Things on my mind today:
I LOVE FALL!!!!!!!! I love it, I love it, I love it! Fall is seriously the greatest season of them all. I get so happy for reasons that are unknown, but nonetheless, great. I love the weather (I wore my cute coat today for the first time this year), I love the leaves, I love the activities that happen (General Conference, Halloween, Thanksgiving), and I love getting ready to celebrate Christmas (which in turn has nothing to do with fall, but whatever, the anticipation is brilliant)! I love fall.
I also love psychology. I learn SO much about myself and people I know when I study psychology. I'm grateful that all of my classes are psychology based. My major is pretty much the best of all possible majors. In my Young Children At Risk class this morning we talked about some awesome things relating to psychology and it made me very happy.
Everyone ever has a baby and a house. Everyone. Ever. Luckily I'm not really wanting those two things today otherwise I might be very jealous. (k, it's not that I DON'T want those things, I just don't want them right now) Seriously though, you can't go on Facebook and not see a new baby or a new house. Seriously. Ha ha. It makes me happy for the future, I guess?!
I really really really want to do my student teaching. Really badly. As much as I love sitting in class and learning cool things (like psychology), I wish I was doing my student teaching too. I love my job (most days), but it's working with old kids.......old kids are weird.............yes, I'm calling eight and nine year olds "old kids". I just LOVE toddlers and pre-schoolers......sigh. Wishing I was doing my student teaching today.
That's about it for now.....sorry, this is really short and scattered.....I gotta go learn about immigration now in my next class. It'll be good. I'm sure a couple of my classmates will have very opinionated views on it. I'll just sit in the background and watch the mad debates happen. :)
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Lots and lots!
A lot has been happening lately, but all of it can pretty much be summed up in.......getting ready for school.
I'm so excited for school to start! Ah!
A week ago I ended my mowing job because I started another job for the school year! I'm working at an elementary school in for the YMCA after school program. I had training all of this week.....which was slightly brutal for reasons I won't go into (ha ha), but now we start school on Monday and I'm so stoked!
It was crazy strange leaving my mowing job. Five summers. Five. Five full summers of mowing. I must be insane. No, it paid for school so it's all good. I have so many awesome memories from it too which is wonderful. Although it was a great job in many ways (mostly social ways), I'm glad I never have to go back.
It's like the end of an era. I'm never going back. I'm graduating, getting a real job, growing up......
It feels SO strange, but really nice.
The job hunt that eventually ended with the YMCA was nuts. I was so frustrated for so long (ask my husband), ha ha. I checked openings on like five different job boards everyday and I applied for....not exaggerating....forty or so different jobs.
I've always been super lucky with jobs.......when I actually, eventually obtain them. I seriously think God has placed me specifically in every job I've had to teach me something great. You could say that's wishful thinking, but I say it's just plain the truth.
I can look back on all my teaching jobs at the various schools I've been at and see exactly what Heavenly Father wanted me to learn.
With this school year approaching I had a lot of emotions going on with finding a job. I was upset that I couldn't go back to my autistic pre-school job.....I'm graduating soon so I felt this weird sense of entitlement that I needed to work with babies or pre-schoolers......and I mostly just wanted a job on campus because really, what would be better than that? Nothing, I dare say. :)
The Child and Family Studies and Education Departments on campus kept having all of these great openings. Some jobs where I could work with the kids in the children's school where I'm doing my student teaching. Others where I could be a helper for my professors. There were about five or so options like that and I applied for them all.
Weeks went by...........I kept calling them. I realized that they probably weren't going to do interviews till right before school, but it was still frustrating.
In the end, I applied, got the YMCA job.
Not even three hours after I accepted the YMCA job I received a phone call from my department at Weber asking if I wanted to interview to be a professor's assistant.
..............
And what did I do?
I said no. I cried later and felt weird, but I knew I needed to say no because of the feeling I got when I accepted the YMCA job.
I was talking to my mom on the phone about it and I think she said it best (this isn't a direct quote, but good enough): "Yeah, the job on campus would have been convienent and nice, but with this YMCA job you're going to impact lives and be able to be an awesome example for kids that have nothing."
I think in the end that's one big blessing I'm going to get from this job. I saw even with back to school night the level of poverty the school I'm working at has and it's really just sad and humbling.
God probably knew I needed humbling more than anything else, which is probably why I got this job.
In the past week I've actually had a couple more offers from the on-campus jobs that I applied for in my department/children's school.......which has been hard, but I know in the end I got the job that I did for a reason.
Another hard thing was seeing one of my EXTREMELY cute autistic boys at back at school night. Ahhhhhh....my heart broke. I said hi to him and he got really shy, but I know he remembered me. It was so cute to hear his little autistic babble again. His older brother goes to my school (I'm really hoping he does the after school program, ha ha).
Bah. Dang kids. They are so cute!
So after much toil and rearranging, my life is officially set for school to start on Monday. Hooray!
The school I'm working at, although it is very low on the socioeconomic side of families, is actually really cool! It used to be a junior high so it is huge and has all of these amazing resources. It has two huge gyms, an auditorium with a big stage and tons of seats, a really nice library, and a cool kiva type commons area. It'll be neat to use all of the different spaces for the program.
Well, I have a full day of things to do to get ready for school so I better go. We are going to the temple too which will be nice to do right before school! I love the temple. :) I'm excited to go and think about all of my blessings, I have so many! Although it was a long process getting a job I really do feel very blessed. I'm very grateful that God knows what I need. It'll be an interesting year discovering what exactly He had in mind for me with this job!
I'm so excited for school to start! Ah!
A week ago I ended my mowing job because I started another job for the school year! I'm working at an elementary school in for the YMCA after school program. I had training all of this week.....which was slightly brutal for reasons I won't go into (ha ha), but now we start school on Monday and I'm so stoked!
It was crazy strange leaving my mowing job. Five summers. Five. Five full summers of mowing. I must be insane. No, it paid for school so it's all good. I have so many awesome memories from it too which is wonderful. Although it was a great job in many ways (mostly social ways), I'm glad I never have to go back.
It's like the end of an era. I'm never going back. I'm graduating, getting a real job, growing up......
It feels SO strange, but really nice.
The job hunt that eventually ended with the YMCA was nuts. I was so frustrated for so long (ask my husband), ha ha. I checked openings on like five different job boards everyday and I applied for....not exaggerating....forty or so different jobs.
I've always been super lucky with jobs.......when I actually, eventually obtain them. I seriously think God has placed me specifically in every job I've had to teach me something great. You could say that's wishful thinking, but I say it's just plain the truth.
I can look back on all my teaching jobs at the various schools I've been at and see exactly what Heavenly Father wanted me to learn.
With this school year approaching I had a lot of emotions going on with finding a job. I was upset that I couldn't go back to my autistic pre-school job.....I'm graduating soon so I felt this weird sense of entitlement that I needed to work with babies or pre-schoolers......and I mostly just wanted a job on campus because really, what would be better than that? Nothing, I dare say. :)
The Child and Family Studies and Education Departments on campus kept having all of these great openings. Some jobs where I could work with the kids in the children's school where I'm doing my student teaching. Others where I could be a helper for my professors. There were about five or so options like that and I applied for them all.
Weeks went by...........I kept calling them. I realized that they probably weren't going to do interviews till right before school, but it was still frustrating.
In the end, I applied, got the YMCA job.
Not even three hours after I accepted the YMCA job I received a phone call from my department at Weber asking if I wanted to interview to be a professor's assistant.
..............
And what did I do?
I said no. I cried later and felt weird, but I knew I needed to say no because of the feeling I got when I accepted the YMCA job.
I was talking to my mom on the phone about it and I think she said it best (this isn't a direct quote, but good enough): "Yeah, the job on campus would have been convienent and nice, but with this YMCA job you're going to impact lives and be able to be an awesome example for kids that have nothing."
I think in the end that's one big blessing I'm going to get from this job. I saw even with back to school night the level of poverty the school I'm working at has and it's really just sad and humbling.
God probably knew I needed humbling more than anything else, which is probably why I got this job.
In the past week I've actually had a couple more offers from the on-campus jobs that I applied for in my department/children's school.......which has been hard, but I know in the end I got the job that I did for a reason.
Another hard thing was seeing one of my EXTREMELY cute autistic boys at back at school night. Ahhhhhh....my heart broke. I said hi to him and he got really shy, but I know he remembered me. It was so cute to hear his little autistic babble again. His older brother goes to my school (I'm really hoping he does the after school program, ha ha).
Bah. Dang kids. They are so cute!
So after much toil and rearranging, my life is officially set for school to start on Monday. Hooray!
The school I'm working at, although it is very low on the socioeconomic side of families, is actually really cool! It used to be a junior high so it is huge and has all of these amazing resources. It has two huge gyms, an auditorium with a big stage and tons of seats, a really nice library, and a cool kiva type commons area. It'll be neat to use all of the different spaces for the program.
Well, I have a full day of things to do to get ready for school so I better go. We are going to the temple too which will be nice to do right before school! I love the temple. :) I'm excited to go and think about all of my blessings, I have so many! Although it was a long process getting a job I really do feel very blessed. I'm very grateful that God knows what I need. It'll be an interesting year discovering what exactly He had in mind for me with this job!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Cliche peace
I've started so many posts lately and then have given up on them halfway. There have been about five times this past week that I have started a post and not finished it. Why can't I finish posts??? Hmmm....we'll see how far I get on this one!
The other day I posted on Facebook that I found the place in Blogger that shows me how many "views" my blog posts get. I kind of decided that people don't understand my humor because they took my post on Facebook kind of strange.....but I guess I've always known it takes strange people to understand me so it's all good in the end, I suppose. :)
After having this blog for two and a half years I finally found where it tells me how many people read it. My average was about 50 views per post. I was totally shocked! I was really flattered, but still completely shocked.
When I started this blog it was mainly used as a ranting place where I would write about what I thought about life. It hasn't changed much since then, but I really never thought that many people would read it.
I've been told by some people that have happened upon my blog before that it sounds too cliche, the things that I write. And other people have told me or my husband that some of the things I talk about are weird or cheesy etc. In the end, the only reviews I have ever gotten from people have been negative. My husband has always told me not to take them negatively, but how can I not when people say stuff like that to your face? Ha ha!
Because of those things I always thought my blog wasn't viewed much.
That didn't stop me from writing, because I love writing and this is the easiest way I know how. I'm not good at keeping a journal, but I wanted my kids to have something that I've written someday.
I want my kids to know how blessed of a life I have. In lots of ways I'm sure that's why people have told me my blog is too cliche. In today's society nobody is really allowed to actually have a great life, right? Everybody is allowed small moments of greatness, but people get jealous and feel bad when they happen upon somebody that claims to have a great life all the time.
Honestly, I do have bad days and stupid things do happen to me, but I still think I'm extremely blessed.
Today was fast Sunday so we had fast and testimony meeting in Sacrament meeting. While people were bearing their testimonies I started thinking about people in my life (like I often do). I think about my family (all three parts of them).....friends.....basically anybody I know. As I was thinking about these people I started thinking about how they all feel about their family....or their spouse. I started thinking if each of them could pick one word to describe their relationship with a family member or spouse what would it be?
(I should have been a psychology major....sometimes my brain is strange. I will often tell Jeff I've been thinking of things like that and he'll look at me strange and sometimes say: "why are you even bothering thinking of stuff like that?" My answer is usually: "Cause it's fun?")
Then I thought of mine and Jeff's marriage and if I had one word to describe it what would it be.
I sat there for a minute and tried to think of something that wasn't cliche......but I had already thought of the word "peaceful" and couldn't think of anything better.
Jeff and I have crazy lives. We are very busy both working full-time and when we are in school it's even crazier. We go and do lots of fun things together and never have a dull moment. We are always laughing at each other. But somewhere in the middle of all of that is peace. No matter what is happening there is always an underlying sense of peace.
I felt extremely grateful in that moment because I know that there are people in my life that I know can't say the same thing about their situation.
But it gets even better!
Not even five minutes after I was thinking these thoughts.......call them cliche, I don't care.......
Our AMAZING Stake Primary President who is in our ward got up and bore her testimony. I seriously love that woman. She is one of the greatest examples I've ever had.
She stood up and started talking about primary childrens' prayers. She said that since she gets to go around the stake a lot and listen to lots of little childrens' prayers she started picking up on a specific theme. She said that children always pray for safety. And it's true, when you think about it, the majority of their prayers are centered around getting somewhere safely or being safe in their lives.
Our Stake Primary President is an elementary school teacher and she told us that it is very apparent when looking at the kids at school who has that "safety" in their lives and who doesn't. She testified about the peace that the Gospel brings into our childrens lives and that we as parents/adults can offer that peace.
I've definitely seen that while working in schools also. The job I had last school year was one that was in an inner city area and honestly, I think only one of our students was LDS. In fact, I'm not even sure if he was, but if anything we only had one out of all our children. You can definitely tell the difference when children have the light of Christ in their homes as opposed to when they don't.
I was so grateful for that testimony that she bore of the peace and safety that should be in our homes and in our childrens lives.
It's strange sometimes how Heavenly Father answers prayers that we don't even know we've said yet. It was really neat to me that I had just been thinking about the subject of peace in marriage and then to have such a wonderful woman bear her testimony of peace in the family. It was like God was answering a prayer that I didn't even know I needed.
That seems to be happening a lot lately. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to finish posts......I've kind of been at a loss for words. I haven't really known how to put my feelings into writing.
I know that God knows our needs before we know them. I know that He wants to answer our prayers.
I know that my blog sounds cliche and that people might think I'm putting on a show......but in the end, I know I'm not. I really am as blessed as I make myself sound and writing it all out is one small way that I can give back to the people that have made it that way.
The other day I posted on Facebook that I found the place in Blogger that shows me how many "views" my blog posts get. I kind of decided that people don't understand my humor because they took my post on Facebook kind of strange.....but I guess I've always known it takes strange people to understand me so it's all good in the end, I suppose. :)
After having this blog for two and a half years I finally found where it tells me how many people read it. My average was about 50 views per post. I was totally shocked! I was really flattered, but still completely shocked.
When I started this blog it was mainly used as a ranting place where I would write about what I thought about life. It hasn't changed much since then, but I really never thought that many people would read it.
I've been told by some people that have happened upon my blog before that it sounds too cliche, the things that I write. And other people have told me or my husband that some of the things I talk about are weird or cheesy etc. In the end, the only reviews I have ever gotten from people have been negative. My husband has always told me not to take them negatively, but how can I not when people say stuff like that to your face? Ha ha!
Because of those things I always thought my blog wasn't viewed much.
That didn't stop me from writing, because I love writing and this is the easiest way I know how. I'm not good at keeping a journal, but I wanted my kids to have something that I've written someday.
I want my kids to know how blessed of a life I have. In lots of ways I'm sure that's why people have told me my blog is too cliche. In today's society nobody is really allowed to actually have a great life, right? Everybody is allowed small moments of greatness, but people get jealous and feel bad when they happen upon somebody that claims to have a great life all the time.
Honestly, I do have bad days and stupid things do happen to me, but I still think I'm extremely blessed.
Today was fast Sunday so we had fast and testimony meeting in Sacrament meeting. While people were bearing their testimonies I started thinking about people in my life (like I often do). I think about my family (all three parts of them).....friends.....basically anybody I know. As I was thinking about these people I started thinking about how they all feel about their family....or their spouse. I started thinking if each of them could pick one word to describe their relationship with a family member or spouse what would it be?
(I should have been a psychology major....sometimes my brain is strange. I will often tell Jeff I've been thinking of things like that and he'll look at me strange and sometimes say: "why are you even bothering thinking of stuff like that?" My answer is usually: "Cause it's fun?")
Then I thought of mine and Jeff's marriage and if I had one word to describe it what would it be.
I sat there for a minute and tried to think of something that wasn't cliche......but I had already thought of the word "peaceful" and couldn't think of anything better.
Jeff and I have crazy lives. We are very busy both working full-time and when we are in school it's even crazier. We go and do lots of fun things together and never have a dull moment. We are always laughing at each other. But somewhere in the middle of all of that is peace. No matter what is happening there is always an underlying sense of peace.
I felt extremely grateful in that moment because I know that there are people in my life that I know can't say the same thing about their situation.
But it gets even better!
Not even five minutes after I was thinking these thoughts.......call them cliche, I don't care.......
Our AMAZING Stake Primary President who is in our ward got up and bore her testimony. I seriously love that woman. She is one of the greatest examples I've ever had.
She stood up and started talking about primary childrens' prayers. She said that since she gets to go around the stake a lot and listen to lots of little childrens' prayers she started picking up on a specific theme. She said that children always pray for safety. And it's true, when you think about it, the majority of their prayers are centered around getting somewhere safely or being safe in their lives.
Our Stake Primary President is an elementary school teacher and she told us that it is very apparent when looking at the kids at school who has that "safety" in their lives and who doesn't. She testified about the peace that the Gospel brings into our childrens lives and that we as parents/adults can offer that peace.
I've definitely seen that while working in schools also. The job I had last school year was one that was in an inner city area and honestly, I think only one of our students was LDS. In fact, I'm not even sure if he was, but if anything we only had one out of all our children. You can definitely tell the difference when children have the light of Christ in their homes as opposed to when they don't.
I was so grateful for that testimony that she bore of the peace and safety that should be in our homes and in our childrens lives.
It's strange sometimes how Heavenly Father answers prayers that we don't even know we've said yet. It was really neat to me that I had just been thinking about the subject of peace in marriage and then to have such a wonderful woman bear her testimony of peace in the family. It was like God was answering a prayer that I didn't even know I needed.
That seems to be happening a lot lately. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to finish posts......I've kind of been at a loss for words. I haven't really known how to put my feelings into writing.
I know that God knows our needs before we know them. I know that He wants to answer our prayers.
I know that my blog sounds cliche and that people might think I'm putting on a show......but in the end, I know I'm not. I really am as blessed as I make myself sound and writing it all out is one small way that I can give back to the people that have made it that way.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
For the love of autism and toenails!
My family is awesome. Out of all the reasons I can find describing why they/we are awesome.....I think the one I've learned to be fondest of is the magnitude in which we LOVE things. My family doesn't just like things. And we really have a hard time even loving things. Oh no. It's a whole different deal. When we love things it's usually close to down right obsession.
When we find a good song.....it plays in our lives 25 times a day for two weeks straight. When we find a good tv show......it's all we talk about till it's over. When we meet cool people in our lives.....they are who we want to be around and talk about all the time. Etc.
Does that make us crazy? (k, don't answer that)
No, but really, that's a quality that I feel like my sister and I have learned from my mom that I love. (LOVE) It makes life so much more passionate and exciting. We aren't just partial lovers of all things good. We are intense and devout.
So in some ways I'm not surprised I broke down crying when I looked up jobs on Ogden School District's website and saw that they had a posting for the job I had last school year.
Oh my goodness, I LOVE those autistic kids! Not being able to go back next school year is SO sad for me! I grew to love them more than I have ever loved any other kids/students I've come in contact with. Geez, it was hard seeing that posting. Ha.
Sigh. But that's life, I suppose. Those kids taught me hundreds of little lessons about life that I would have never learned if I hadn't had that experience. I'm very glad I had that experience even though it is sad I can't go back.
I've been dealing with finding a job this whole summer, actually, but the hunt has become even more intense the past two weeks or so. It's been a little difficult because my school schedule is CRAZY this upcoming semester! I have morning and afternoon classes which leaves no room to find a good job, ha ha.
I've had some interviews and haven't heard back yet. Blaaaah. We shall see what happens. :)
I just keep telling myself that I'm so close to graduating and all of this part-time job working around school maddness will be done forevvvver.
In other news, Jeff and I went to Batman yesterday with my family! It was rather depressing....and I had to keep leaning over to ask Jeff what was happening (don't mock me, I'm smart in OTHER areas of life), but yeah, I can see why people love it so much! It was pretty awesome despite my lack of understanding.
Jeff and I had a funny conversation yesterday that I have to document it for my future posterity.......
Jeff and I fight about really ridiculous things sometimes. Ha ha! We were laughing throughout the majority of this "fight" so I guess it really isn't a fight.
In the end, I think Jeff won, but that's besides the point. I like to think my side of things has validity.
We went to Olive Garden just the two of us before seeing Batman yesterday and as we were eating Jeff randomly said: "It would be way fun to have twins."
Disclaimer: I'm NOT pregnant. We just talk about babies lots cause I like babies and Jeff is nice to talk about things I like.
I then proceeded to say: "I think the scariest part of it for me would be getting them mixed up."
Jeff: "I bet that has happened a lot before..."
Me: "Yeah, but I have a plan." (As if it's actually gonna happen, ha ha.)
Jeff: "What?"
Me: "Just paint their toe nails different colors!!"
Jeff: "No no no no no no!"
Me: "What?"
Jeff: "I am NOT painting my twins boys toe nails! They will wear different colored socks or outfits!"
Me: "Yeah, but socks come off easily. You want to chance getting them mixed up? It wouldn't have to be ALL their nails...just like one big toe or something. One green toe and one blue toe."
Jeff: "No. Never."
Me: "What on earth?! It's not that bad!"
So yeah...........the conversation went back and forth like that off and on for the next half hour or so. Ha ha ha, I still think it's a brilliant idea, but Jeff wouldn't ever allow it. He says we can do that if we have girl twins, which is good, I guess.
We really are never going to have twins, but I just thought it was a hilarious conversation! (and I'm documenting it so someday people will tell me I'm right and he's wrong :) )
Jeff and I have had a pretty fun summer! We went to St. George back in May with our friends to see Brian Regan. We went to Washington D.C. in June. Lots of little things this month with all three of our families: camping, cabin, Bear Lake, Real soccer, movies, holiday celebrations, and more!
I'm very grateful that I have Jeff and my family to talk to and go do fun things with. I have a ridiculously good life! I'm grateful that I can call my mom whenever about whatever for however long I want. I know lots of people who don't have that kind of relationship with their parents, so I'm glad I do.
I have the best support system ever. It's a strange time of life because I slowly see how in the next five or ten years I'll really be completely out of contact with most, if not all, of my friends. It's times like this though when I see how great my husband, mom, and sister are that make me know they are really the only friends I need. I'll always have extended family too, but it's good to know that my immediate family will always be my best friends.
I guess we will see what August brings! Hopefully a job.......definitely school is starting....and the ending an era of mowing. I will hopefully post again before school starts, but no promises. :)
When we find a good song.....it plays in our lives 25 times a day for two weeks straight. When we find a good tv show......it's all we talk about till it's over. When we meet cool people in our lives.....they are who we want to be around and talk about all the time. Etc.
Does that make us crazy? (k, don't answer that)
No, but really, that's a quality that I feel like my sister and I have learned from my mom that I love. (LOVE) It makes life so much more passionate and exciting. We aren't just partial lovers of all things good. We are intense and devout.
So in some ways I'm not surprised I broke down crying when I looked up jobs on Ogden School District's website and saw that they had a posting for the job I had last school year.
Oh my goodness, I LOVE those autistic kids! Not being able to go back next school year is SO sad for me! I grew to love them more than I have ever loved any other kids/students I've come in contact with. Geez, it was hard seeing that posting. Ha.
Sigh. But that's life, I suppose. Those kids taught me hundreds of little lessons about life that I would have never learned if I hadn't had that experience. I'm very glad I had that experience even though it is sad I can't go back.
I've been dealing with finding a job this whole summer, actually, but the hunt has become even more intense the past two weeks or so. It's been a little difficult because my school schedule is CRAZY this upcoming semester! I have morning and afternoon classes which leaves no room to find a good job, ha ha.
I've had some interviews and haven't heard back yet. Blaaaah. We shall see what happens. :)
I just keep telling myself that I'm so close to graduating and all of this part-time job working around school maddness will be done forevvvver.
In other news, Jeff and I went to Batman yesterday with my family! It was rather depressing....and I had to keep leaning over to ask Jeff what was happening (don't mock me, I'm smart in OTHER areas of life), but yeah, I can see why people love it so much! It was pretty awesome despite my lack of understanding.
Jeff and I had a funny conversation yesterday that I have to document it for my future posterity.......
Jeff and I fight about really ridiculous things sometimes. Ha ha! We were laughing throughout the majority of this "fight" so I guess it really isn't a fight.
In the end, I think Jeff won, but that's besides the point. I like to think my side of things has validity.
We went to Olive Garden just the two of us before seeing Batman yesterday and as we were eating Jeff randomly said: "It would be way fun to have twins."
Disclaimer: I'm NOT pregnant. We just talk about babies lots cause I like babies and Jeff is nice to talk about things I like.
I then proceeded to say: "I think the scariest part of it for me would be getting them mixed up."
Jeff: "I bet that has happened a lot before..."
Me: "Yeah, but I have a plan." (As if it's actually gonna happen, ha ha.)
Jeff: "What?"
Me: "Just paint their toe nails different colors!!"
Jeff: "No no no no no no!"
Me: "What?"
Jeff: "I am NOT painting my twins boys toe nails! They will wear different colored socks or outfits!"
Me: "Yeah, but socks come off easily. You want to chance getting them mixed up? It wouldn't have to be ALL their nails...just like one big toe or something. One green toe and one blue toe."
Jeff: "No. Never."
Me: "What on earth?! It's not that bad!"
So yeah...........the conversation went back and forth like that off and on for the next half hour or so. Ha ha ha, I still think it's a brilliant idea, but Jeff wouldn't ever allow it. He says we can do that if we have girl twins, which is good, I guess.
We really are never going to have twins, but I just thought it was a hilarious conversation! (and I'm documenting it so someday people will tell me I'm right and he's wrong :) )
Jeff and I have had a pretty fun summer! We went to St. George back in May with our friends to see Brian Regan. We went to Washington D.C. in June. Lots of little things this month with all three of our families: camping, cabin, Bear Lake, Real soccer, movies, holiday celebrations, and more!
I'm very grateful that I have Jeff and my family to talk to and go do fun things with. I have a ridiculously good life! I'm grateful that I can call my mom whenever about whatever for however long I want. I know lots of people who don't have that kind of relationship with their parents, so I'm glad I do.
I have the best support system ever. It's a strange time of life because I slowly see how in the next five or ten years I'll really be completely out of contact with most, if not all, of my friends. It's times like this though when I see how great my husband, mom, and sister are that make me know they are really the only friends I need. I'll always have extended family too, but it's good to know that my immediate family will always be my best friends.
I guess we will see what August brings! Hopefully a job.......definitely school is starting....and the ending an era of mowing. I will hopefully post again before school starts, but no promises. :)
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Cause When It Comes To You I'd Rather Have You By My Side...
July July July.....
Hooray for July! One of the biggest hoorays for July is.....only 29 more days of work! Ha ha!
Oh my goodness, this summer of work has been so interesting. Or rather, it hasn't been interesting at all which in turn makes it....interestingly awful. I feel like I need to write about this mostly to set the record straight in my own head. Usually writing helps me figure out what I'm feeling and lately I've been feeling like I need to write about how to I feel about mowing. I think I just said "feel" about five times in that sentence. Ok, maybe only three.
I LOVE mowing. If I didn't I wouldn't be on my fifth summer of it. Over the past couple of years I've met some of the best friends I'll ever have, which is wonderful. Along with that I've learned that even in weird situations like a grounds crew you can have lots of uncomfortable politics and what not which I think ultimately is the reason I chose to be a gang mower this year.
I've had such a love/hate relationship with gang mowing. It's really fun when the grass is long, for some strrrrrange reason I've fallen behind schedule, (this never happens) and I kind of need to hurry.
And yeah, being away from the politics is lovely. :)
However, I waste so much time. Ha ha ha. I actually work for probably half of time I'm actually at work.
Ok, so normally people would be like.....what on earth, Amber, you should be basking in gratitude for the fact that you're getting paid to do nothing!
Sure.....maybe......
I'm just not that kind of person though. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is an extremely hard worker and I think growing up I just watched him, wanted to be like that, and now I am.
The other thing that has been making me pray for school to start is the heat lately. Oh my goodness. The past four years being on the crew I handled the heat fine, I think. Yeah, it got hot, but when you're weedeating or edging you don't really notice. You're just sweating out all of the misery the heat brings. With gang mowing.............
It's quite the opposite. You just sit all day long and roast. You can't move around....you just bake in the heat. Ha.
Eeeeeeek. Needless to say I'm very glad this is my last year of mowing.
Next year will be interesting. I don't really know what will happen, but something good is bound to arise.
When I graduate I get to do six credits of "work experience". According to what they are telling me I get to be given a job by a professor and do it for two months. I'm really hoping I'll be able to convince my professor to get me a job as an early interventionalist.
There are lots of programs that deal with this kind of profession, but the one I want to get into is in Davis School District. They have a program where you can work with babies - birth to three years old - who have special needs. How cool would that be?? I think I would love that job. But.....we'll see what happens. I have no idea what kind of availability there is for that specific program.
I'm kind of hoping whatever "work experience" I'm given will be open enough to actually hiring me. Ultimately I want to own a preschool, but.............my apartment and stage in life aren't really condusive to that right now. Ha ha. I can't even imagine having ten or twelve 4-year olds running around my apartment. They wouldn't fit! My harps wouldn't stand a chance. I guess we have a big enough backyard..........? Ha. No.
Another thing I wanted to talk about in this post was Jeff. Ewwwwwww....mushy, right? Ha. No, I don't think so.
Ever since my age of friends has been out of high school/gotten married etc. I have noticed that everybody is trying to outdo each other with how great their lives are. Ha ha. That's honestly probably just the time of life we are in, but it's kind of funny to watch sometimes.
A constant theme that I have seen is the comment that my friends make (I've probably made it too) about their husbands on Facebook. "Happy Birthday to the BEST husband ever!" "Happy Anniversary to Us! I have the BEST husband in the world!" Best best best. It's always best. And really, these girls aren't wrong.....they are actually right. However, even though they are right, they actually are wrong. :)
Their husbands aren't "the best", but they ARE "the best for them". :) Which really in the end means they are the best! (???)
I was talking to Jeff the other day about different couples that we experience in our lives and one thing that got brought up was the fact that sometimes people we know get kind of hyper focused on what is wrong with their spouse. In the end, they feel like they have to tell us about it, ha ha. We hear things like....I wish he/she was more like this....or....I wish they didn't do that....etc.
As Jeff and I were driving in the car I told him: "Ya know, I honestly have never thought anything like that about you. I've never been so annoyed that I've wanted you any different." .......and luckily he agreed and said he thought the same about me, ha ha.
Sure we've been frustrated with each other at random times.......we wouldn't be normal if that wasn't the case.......but nothing has ever annoyed me about him to the point where I dwell on it, want him to change, or tell people about it.
I consider myself extremely lucky for that fact. And I can truly say that Jeff really is the best.....for me. He knows exactly who I truly am. He knows how I'm feeling before I figure it out myself usually. I have an awesome husband! He will always be my better half for sure.
I think if I had a song playing in the background of my life this is what it would be.....
Keith Urban - Better Half
In fact this song played in the background at our wedding reception!
(I'm really hoping that link works! :) )
Hooray for July! One of the biggest hoorays for July is.....only 29 more days of work! Ha ha!
Oh my goodness, this summer of work has been so interesting. Or rather, it hasn't been interesting at all which in turn makes it....interestingly awful. I feel like I need to write about this mostly to set the record straight in my own head. Usually writing helps me figure out what I'm feeling and lately I've been feeling like I need to write about how to I feel about mowing. I think I just said "feel" about five times in that sentence. Ok, maybe only three.
I LOVE mowing. If I didn't I wouldn't be on my fifth summer of it. Over the past couple of years I've met some of the best friends I'll ever have, which is wonderful. Along with that I've learned that even in weird situations like a grounds crew you can have lots of uncomfortable politics and what not which I think ultimately is the reason I chose to be a gang mower this year.
I've had such a love/hate relationship with gang mowing. It's really fun when the grass is long, for some strrrrrange reason I've fallen behind schedule, (this never happens) and I kind of need to hurry.
And yeah, being away from the politics is lovely. :)
However, I waste so much time. Ha ha ha. I actually work for probably half of time I'm actually at work.
Ok, so normally people would be like.....what on earth, Amber, you should be basking in gratitude for the fact that you're getting paid to do nothing!
Sure.....maybe......
I'm just not that kind of person though. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is an extremely hard worker and I think growing up I just watched him, wanted to be like that, and now I am.
The other thing that has been making me pray for school to start is the heat lately. Oh my goodness. The past four years being on the crew I handled the heat fine, I think. Yeah, it got hot, but when you're weedeating or edging you don't really notice. You're just sweating out all of the misery the heat brings. With gang mowing.............
It's quite the opposite. You just sit all day long and roast. You can't move around....you just bake in the heat. Ha.
Eeeeeeek. Needless to say I'm very glad this is my last year of mowing.
Next year will be interesting. I don't really know what will happen, but something good is bound to arise.
When I graduate I get to do six credits of "work experience". According to what they are telling me I get to be given a job by a professor and do it for two months. I'm really hoping I'll be able to convince my professor to get me a job as an early interventionalist.
There are lots of programs that deal with this kind of profession, but the one I want to get into is in Davis School District. They have a program where you can work with babies - birth to three years old - who have special needs. How cool would that be?? I think I would love that job. But.....we'll see what happens. I have no idea what kind of availability there is for that specific program.
I'm kind of hoping whatever "work experience" I'm given will be open enough to actually hiring me. Ultimately I want to own a preschool, but.............my apartment and stage in life aren't really condusive to that right now. Ha ha. I can't even imagine having ten or twelve 4-year olds running around my apartment. They wouldn't fit! My harps wouldn't stand a chance. I guess we have a big enough backyard..........? Ha. No.
Another thing I wanted to talk about in this post was Jeff. Ewwwwwww....mushy, right? Ha. No, I don't think so.
Ever since my age of friends has been out of high school/gotten married etc. I have noticed that everybody is trying to outdo each other with how great their lives are. Ha ha. That's honestly probably just the time of life we are in, but it's kind of funny to watch sometimes.
A constant theme that I have seen is the comment that my friends make (I've probably made it too) about their husbands on Facebook. "Happy Birthday to the BEST husband ever!" "Happy Anniversary to Us! I have the BEST husband in the world!" Best best best. It's always best. And really, these girls aren't wrong.....they are actually right. However, even though they are right, they actually are wrong. :)
Their husbands aren't "the best", but they ARE "the best for them". :) Which really in the end means they are the best! (???)
I was talking to Jeff the other day about different couples that we experience in our lives and one thing that got brought up was the fact that sometimes people we know get kind of hyper focused on what is wrong with their spouse. In the end, they feel like they have to tell us about it, ha ha. We hear things like....I wish he/she was more like this....or....I wish they didn't do that....etc.
As Jeff and I were driving in the car I told him: "Ya know, I honestly have never thought anything like that about you. I've never been so annoyed that I've wanted you any different." .......and luckily he agreed and said he thought the same about me, ha ha.
Sure we've been frustrated with each other at random times.......we wouldn't be normal if that wasn't the case.......but nothing has ever annoyed me about him to the point where I dwell on it, want him to change, or tell people about it.
I consider myself extremely lucky for that fact. And I can truly say that Jeff really is the best.....for me. He knows exactly who I truly am. He knows how I'm feeling before I figure it out myself usually. I have an awesome husband! He will always be my better half for sure.
I think if I had a song playing in the background of my life this is what it would be.....
Keith Urban - Better Half
In fact this song played in the background at our wedding reception!
(I'm really hoping that link works! :) )
Monday, June 25, 2012
Freeeeeeeeeeeedom!!!
In more than one way.
I took today off of work to take my two final exams. It's a rather long story in which my professor was a little ridiculous, but I had to take them today because we went to DC last week!
I officially survived my first and only summer semester ever. Ha ha ha. It was kind of....brutal actually. I don't want to sound like a whimp, but oh my goodness, it was never ending work.
2 classes = 91 pages of papers written, 35 hours of lectures, 15 academic articles researched, 28 quizzes, & 7 tests. All in a month and half. Plus I was working full time.
But now I'm freeeeeeee!!! So free!
I learned a lot through it all too. I feel like I'm a lot better prepared to help messed up people. Ha. k, that sounds really bad.
My two classes were Family Relations and Adolescent Development and honestly the majority of the classes were on how to help messed up individuals/families/teens and/or on how to not become messed up. I wrote a lot of papers on domestic violence, abuse, eating disorders, media, dysfunctional families, drugs, gangs, etc.
Both of these classes were from the same professor. He was kind of hard to work with via the internet. I have an actual face to face class with him in the fall which I feel will be better? Who knows. He was just very strange in answering my questions....I would write him and say "What things do you want me to put on my title page?" then I would put a plethora or options cause we all know I can be long winded.....and his short reply would be: "Yes, put a title page." Ooooooy.
I'm hoping the face to face thing works out better.
I added up my totals on all my assignments/tests/everything and I SHOULD be getting A-'s in both classes. Knowing this professor I'll probably be getting B's though. Hooooooooray....ha. :)
Another reason this post is titled "freedom" is because, like I said, we went to Washington DC this last week! It was way fun!
Jeff and I pretty much spent two days in downtown DC going to all of the monuments and museums, a day at the temple, went to a Nationals game, and the rest of the time hanging out with Jeff's brother's family! Jeff's oldest brother lives back there with his wife and four kids. They are such a cute family!
Jeff's brother is an accountant so pretty much the whole trip we were talking about moving back there when Jeff graduates. I guess the four major accounting firms of......the nation....the world (something) are back there and so there are lots of good opportunities for accountants. I'm pretty sure Jeff is a lot more game for moving back there than I am, but I still think it would be fun!
It's defintely a lot different from Utah! All of the homes are either smaller or kind of older....cause its already been developed for a long time. In Utah there is TONS of growth still. I see it everyday at work as more and more gigantic homes go up in West Layton, Kaysville, Farmington etc.
Other than being away from my family I think that's the biggest draw back for me. Not that I want to live in a million dollar home, but I've always liked the more open farmy feel that Utah, especially when considering raising a family.
Who knows, we'll probably just stay in Utah for the rest of forever. It would be cool to live back there for five or so years though if it really did get Jeff some good experience.
Anyways, off of that tangent, back to our trip! I love how green it is back there. We would drive on the freeways and it was just trees everywhere! I love how the Washington DC Temple sticks out of trees on the freeway as you drive past it. That was such a pretty temple! It was HUGE! Like, we didn't really know where to go and what not. The floors were all so open and spacious and there were about eight of them, ha ha. Very big temple! Ever since my family went to Washington DC when I was younger I've always wanted to go through that temple. I even had a picture of it on my temple recommend cover for many years because it was always a dream of mine to go back and go through it. Dream accomplished.
Pretty much the whole time Jeff and I were at the monuments and museums we kept talking about how lucky we are that we live here in America and that there were so many brave people who fought for our freedom. Even in the Air and Space Museum we talked about how crazy it is that people could actually come up with inventions like they did. I can't even imagine inventing even the most basic planes that they had in there.
One of the most sobering, but coolest places that we went was the Holocaust Museum. It was so sad, but so amazing! I walked out of that museum with a large renewed gratitude for my country and religion. I'm grateful for all of the Americans who have fought for my freedom so I don't have to live under a dictatorship and be in fear like all of the Jews in pretty much all of Europe were back then.
It's also very comforting to know that I'm a child of God and all of the people who suffered from the Holocaust were children of God too. Nobody deserves to live through what they went through, but it's great to know that God is merciful and that we can live with Him again.
I feel so blessed to have the life that I do. Sometimes I get caught up in small annoyances or stupid little things that don't matter, but past all of that I have a wonderful life. I have a husband who takes care of me and would never let our family end up "messed up" like all of the situations I had to write my papers for, ha ha. That's one of the saddest parts about writing papers on domestic violence and things like that is I can't imagine being in that situation and it breaks my heart to research and learn things about people who deal with it all the time.
We really do have it good. Jeff recently got a new job at Goldenwest as an accountant and we feel very blessed about that! I don't really know much about accounting, but I guess the stuff he's going to be doing is like....stuff that a person with a degree should be doing? Ha ha.
Goldenwest is a smaller credit union so they hire students sometimes and train them to do things that normally you would need a degree for. It's going to be really good cause by the time he graduates with his masters he'll have lots of experience and be more marketable.
It's amazing how God gives us what might seem like little blessings along the way, but they all ultimately end up creating huge eternal blessings. I like looking back at my life and seeing where the little blessings have added up to big ones.
Well, I better go clean la casa before mi esposo gets home! I think we might celebrate my "Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom" tonight by reinacting our first date. Or we might just stay home and watch the Bachelorette. Oh the decisions I have to make in life.........
I'll probably be able to blog more now that I'm freeeeeeeeeee. We shall see..... :)
I took today off of work to take my two final exams. It's a rather long story in which my professor was a little ridiculous, but I had to take them today because we went to DC last week!
I officially survived my first and only summer semester ever. Ha ha ha. It was kind of....brutal actually. I don't want to sound like a whimp, but oh my goodness, it was never ending work.
2 classes = 91 pages of papers written, 35 hours of lectures, 15 academic articles researched, 28 quizzes, & 7 tests. All in a month and half. Plus I was working full time.
But now I'm freeeeeeee!!! So free!
I learned a lot through it all too. I feel like I'm a lot better prepared to help messed up people. Ha. k, that sounds really bad.
My two classes were Family Relations and Adolescent Development and honestly the majority of the classes were on how to help messed up individuals/families/teens and/or on how to not become messed up. I wrote a lot of papers on domestic violence, abuse, eating disorders, media, dysfunctional families, drugs, gangs, etc.
Both of these classes were from the same professor. He was kind of hard to work with via the internet. I have an actual face to face class with him in the fall which I feel will be better? Who knows. He was just very strange in answering my questions....I would write him and say "What things do you want me to put on my title page?" then I would put a plethora or options cause we all know I can be long winded.....and his short reply would be: "Yes, put a title page." Ooooooy.
I'm hoping the face to face thing works out better.
I added up my totals on all my assignments/tests/everything and I SHOULD be getting A-'s in both classes. Knowing this professor I'll probably be getting B's though. Hooooooooray....ha. :)
Another reason this post is titled "freedom" is because, like I said, we went to Washington DC this last week! It was way fun!
Jeff and I pretty much spent two days in downtown DC going to all of the monuments and museums, a day at the temple, went to a Nationals game, and the rest of the time hanging out with Jeff's brother's family! Jeff's oldest brother lives back there with his wife and four kids. They are such a cute family!
Jeff's brother is an accountant so pretty much the whole trip we were talking about moving back there when Jeff graduates. I guess the four major accounting firms of......the nation....the world (something) are back there and so there are lots of good opportunities for accountants. I'm pretty sure Jeff is a lot more game for moving back there than I am, but I still think it would be fun!
It's defintely a lot different from Utah! All of the homes are either smaller or kind of older....cause its already been developed for a long time. In Utah there is TONS of growth still. I see it everyday at work as more and more gigantic homes go up in West Layton, Kaysville, Farmington etc.
Other than being away from my family I think that's the biggest draw back for me. Not that I want to live in a million dollar home, but I've always liked the more open farmy feel that Utah, especially when considering raising a family.
Who knows, we'll probably just stay in Utah for the rest of forever. It would be cool to live back there for five or so years though if it really did get Jeff some good experience.
Anyways, off of that tangent, back to our trip! I love how green it is back there. We would drive on the freeways and it was just trees everywhere! I love how the Washington DC Temple sticks out of trees on the freeway as you drive past it. That was such a pretty temple! It was HUGE! Like, we didn't really know where to go and what not. The floors were all so open and spacious and there were about eight of them, ha ha. Very big temple! Ever since my family went to Washington DC when I was younger I've always wanted to go through that temple. I even had a picture of it on my temple recommend cover for many years because it was always a dream of mine to go back and go through it. Dream accomplished.
Pretty much the whole time Jeff and I were at the monuments and museums we kept talking about how lucky we are that we live here in America and that there were so many brave people who fought for our freedom. Even in the Air and Space Museum we talked about how crazy it is that people could actually come up with inventions like they did. I can't even imagine inventing even the most basic planes that they had in there.
One of the most sobering, but coolest places that we went was the Holocaust Museum. It was so sad, but so amazing! I walked out of that museum with a large renewed gratitude for my country and religion. I'm grateful for all of the Americans who have fought for my freedom so I don't have to live under a dictatorship and be in fear like all of the Jews in pretty much all of Europe were back then.
It's also very comforting to know that I'm a child of God and all of the people who suffered from the Holocaust were children of God too. Nobody deserves to live through what they went through, but it's great to know that God is merciful and that we can live with Him again.
I feel so blessed to have the life that I do. Sometimes I get caught up in small annoyances or stupid little things that don't matter, but past all of that I have a wonderful life. I have a husband who takes care of me and would never let our family end up "messed up" like all of the situations I had to write my papers for, ha ha. That's one of the saddest parts about writing papers on domestic violence and things like that is I can't imagine being in that situation and it breaks my heart to research and learn things about people who deal with it all the time.
We really do have it good. Jeff recently got a new job at Goldenwest as an accountant and we feel very blessed about that! I don't really know much about accounting, but I guess the stuff he's going to be doing is like....stuff that a person with a degree should be doing? Ha ha.
Goldenwest is a smaller credit union so they hire students sometimes and train them to do things that normally you would need a degree for. It's going to be really good cause by the time he graduates with his masters he'll have lots of experience and be more marketable.
It's amazing how God gives us what might seem like little blessings along the way, but they all ultimately end up creating huge eternal blessings. I like looking back at my life and seeing where the little blessings have added up to big ones.
Well, I better go clean la casa before mi esposo gets home! I think we might celebrate my "Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom" tonight by reinacting our first date. Or we might just stay home and watch the Bachelorette. Oh the decisions I have to make in life.........
I'll probably be able to blog more now that I'm freeeeeeeeeee. We shall see..... :)
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Four Page Papers and Righteous People
I've gotten very good at four page papers.
I'm taking two online classes right now. They started about a month ago and I've already written about twenty pages worth of material in each.
Yeah......my professor really likes four page papers and so far I've written about ten of them. Ha ha.
One of the classes I have to write (I'm half way done) a five page research paper and the other one I have to write a sixteen page research paper.
Basically by the time I'm done with these two classes (in three weeks) I'll have written close to a hundred pages of shear awesomeness, ha ha.
The five page research paper is on pornography and how it affects marriage. The assignment was to write two pages supporting the issue and then two pages against it. Writing two pages supporting pornography was probably the hardest writing I've ever done/I lied the whole time/I felt very ridiculous, ha ha. Ugh. Such an awful thing.
My sixteen page paper is on bulimia and how it affects the individual person, their microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem etc.
Translation? Basically there was a psychologist named Bronfrenbrenner (seriously) who made up an ecological model on a person's life. All of those "systems" are different parts of the person's life.......their personal self, their family, work, friends, school, community, culture, society as a greater whole, and ulitmately the world. If you want to understand what I'm talking about just google it, ha ha.
Anyways, I have to write sixteen pages for that and I'm actually pretty excited about it! Go figure.
This summer has been strrrrange. It doesn't feel like summer to me really. Probably because I'm still in school, but probably also because I'm doing a different job from what I've done the past four years.
Most days I'm just really really excited for the end of August to be here. Why did school have to get really fun and interesting right when I'm supposed to be graduating? Geez.....I wish I would have loved it this much my first three years.
I think another reason I'm excited for August is because I just want to get back to working with kids. Currently I work with...........nobody..........and although I'm fairly decent at entertaining myself over nothing I just want to teach kids and play with kids.
I'm not really sure where I'm going to be working during the school year, but I have a bunch of options I'm hoping will work out.
The main thing I wanted to write about is how incredibly awesome I think the Church is. I've been thinking about it a lot lately because in my two classes I'm learning all about people, relationships, and how to live life. I'm taking a family relations class and an adolescent development class.
It just proves that the gospel is true when you're listening to completely secular lectures from a professor and he says time after time that research shows we should be living our lives this way....or avoiding things another way.....or that if we do this our marriage will be a success.....if we do that our life will reach full potential or full happiness......
Every time he talks about these things it's always 100% lined up with what the Church teaches. I watched a lecture yesterday on marriage and cohabitation and there were some pretty startling statistics on how cohabitation isn't a healthy lifestyle. I might be wrong, but I think one statistic said that 80% of people who cohabitate won't end up working/even if they get married they will get divorced later on.
Then there are just so many other things that pertain to the Word of Wisdom, dating, child rearing, and marriage that line up exactly with what the Church teaches.
I'm very grateful that God created such a beautiful lifestyle for us to follow. I know it has brought me lots of happiness and the times when I've been least happy have been when I'm not following those guidelines.
Another awesome thing I've been thinking about is how generous church members are when it comes to volunteering their time.
We are going to our family cabin this weekend and I kept not wanting to call anbody to do my calling for me this Sunday. I HATE asking for help......I just feel really bad for some reason. I've never understood the kind of people that when they are told "If you need anything let us know" and they immediately start saying "Well, we really need this done and this and this and this...."
I'll just never be one of those people.
Tangent: When Jeff was in the hospital in January EVERYONE and their dog was like "Let us know if you need anything!"..............by about the third person (out of fifty) that said that I wanted to spout back......"k, I'm really never going to tell you what I need, but thanks anyways?" Ha ha.....
Anyways, Jeff finally convinced me that people like helping and it's not a big deal at all..... so I called the stake primary president who is in our ward (intimidating? Yeah.) and....she didn't answer. But when she returned my call she was SO nice and super enthusiastic about subbing for me.
I just love faithful latter-day saints who are so willing to help, Some people just have a talent of making you feel good that you're asking for help.
So to sum this up.....the Church is true. So very true.
"The Savior taught His disciples, 'For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it', I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives."
-President Thomas S. Monson
I'm taking two online classes right now. They started about a month ago and I've already written about twenty pages worth of material in each.
Yeah......my professor really likes four page papers and so far I've written about ten of them. Ha ha.
One of the classes I have to write (I'm half way done) a five page research paper and the other one I have to write a sixteen page research paper.
Basically by the time I'm done with these two classes (in three weeks) I'll have written close to a hundred pages of shear awesomeness, ha ha.
The five page research paper is on pornography and how it affects marriage. The assignment was to write two pages supporting the issue and then two pages against it. Writing two pages supporting pornography was probably the hardest writing I've ever done/I lied the whole time/I felt very ridiculous, ha ha. Ugh. Such an awful thing.
My sixteen page paper is on bulimia and how it affects the individual person, their microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem, and macrosystem etc.
Translation? Basically there was a psychologist named Bronfrenbrenner (seriously) who made up an ecological model on a person's life. All of those "systems" are different parts of the person's life.......their personal self, their family, work, friends, school, community, culture, society as a greater whole, and ulitmately the world. If you want to understand what I'm talking about just google it, ha ha.
Anyways, I have to write sixteen pages for that and I'm actually pretty excited about it! Go figure.
This summer has been strrrrange. It doesn't feel like summer to me really. Probably because I'm still in school, but probably also because I'm doing a different job from what I've done the past four years.
Most days I'm just really really excited for the end of August to be here. Why did school have to get really fun and interesting right when I'm supposed to be graduating? Geez.....I wish I would have loved it this much my first three years.
I think another reason I'm excited for August is because I just want to get back to working with kids. Currently I work with...........nobody..........and although I'm fairly decent at entertaining myself over nothing I just want to teach kids and play with kids.
I'm not really sure where I'm going to be working during the school year, but I have a bunch of options I'm hoping will work out.
The main thing I wanted to write about is how incredibly awesome I think the Church is. I've been thinking about it a lot lately because in my two classes I'm learning all about people, relationships, and how to live life. I'm taking a family relations class and an adolescent development class.
It just proves that the gospel is true when you're listening to completely secular lectures from a professor and he says time after time that research shows we should be living our lives this way....or avoiding things another way.....or that if we do this our marriage will be a success.....if we do that our life will reach full potential or full happiness......
Every time he talks about these things it's always 100% lined up with what the Church teaches. I watched a lecture yesterday on marriage and cohabitation and there were some pretty startling statistics on how cohabitation isn't a healthy lifestyle. I might be wrong, but I think one statistic said that 80% of people who cohabitate won't end up working/even if they get married they will get divorced later on.
Then there are just so many other things that pertain to the Word of Wisdom, dating, child rearing, and marriage that line up exactly with what the Church teaches.
I'm very grateful that God created such a beautiful lifestyle for us to follow. I know it has brought me lots of happiness and the times when I've been least happy have been when I'm not following those guidelines.
Another awesome thing I've been thinking about is how generous church members are when it comes to volunteering their time.
We are going to our family cabin this weekend and I kept not wanting to call anbody to do my calling for me this Sunday. I HATE asking for help......I just feel really bad for some reason. I've never understood the kind of people that when they are told "If you need anything let us know" and they immediately start saying "Well, we really need this done and this and this and this...."
I'll just never be one of those people.
Tangent: When Jeff was in the hospital in January EVERYONE and their dog was like "Let us know if you need anything!"..............by about the third person (out of fifty) that said that I wanted to spout back......"k, I'm really never going to tell you what I need, but thanks anyways?" Ha ha.....
Anyways, Jeff finally convinced me that people like helping and it's not a big deal at all..... so I called the stake primary president who is in our ward (intimidating? Yeah.) and....she didn't answer. But when she returned my call she was SO nice and super enthusiastic about subbing for me.
I just love faithful latter-day saints who are so willing to help, Some people just have a talent of making you feel good that you're asking for help.
So to sum this up.....the Church is true. So very true.
"The Savior taught His disciples, 'For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it', I believe the Savior is telling us that unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives. Those who live only for themselves eventually shrivel up and figuratively lose their lives, while those who lose themselves in service to others grow and flourish—and in effect save their lives."
-President Thomas S. Monson
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Mowing Children
Oooooh my goodness I've been wanting to post so bad. AHHH! I've had so much homework it's been unreal. I just finished my last quiz for the week though so I'm allowing myself to blog.
I am seriously a very blessed individual. I don't know what I did to deserve Jeff's love, but it's pretty great! I've been having a......I wouldn't say "hard".....but lame (is lame an ok word?) couple of weeks?
One of the defining reasons being that I'm still sick. I don't think I'll ever not not be sick again! It's made me really wish I was pregnant cause then I could at least not be bitter about being sick constantly, ha ha. Oy....
At first (3 months ago) I thought it was just the fact that I work with little kids....and that MIGHT still be the reason, but I've just had a strange cold/drainage of power for quite awhile. I've gotten to the point where I'm just living with it and don't notice it as I'm runnin through life!
I came home today to the house completely clean, flowers on my bed, and a note from my husband when I got home from work. He knows I've been having a "lame" time lately and everything that he did just reduced me to tears.
I felt kinda strange crying over flowers and a clean house, but sometimes it really is the little things that put you over the edge.
My husband is the best. He always listens to me when I think somebody is ridiculous or when I'm complaining about being weak and sick. He is far too cool. I'm so happy he's in my life.
Another reason my life has been kind of....lame....is.....
I'm working two jobs right now and it's just.....blissful. *sarcasm*
I'm going to be super glad when June rolls around. C'mon June! The main reason being schoooooool will be out....for the summer! (read to the tune of the song)
Oh my goodness gracious.........I LOVE children, holy cow I love children! The past month though I've felt like.....the Hulk....or Jekyll and Hyde....because....oh my......when I'm on my mower I HATE children. (ha ha ha........I'm laughing to myself....all alone in my apartment........I must be going insane)
Why? Why do little boys have to run out ten feet in front of me and wave their arms crazy like almost in a: "Please, just kill me....I want you to ram your mower into me, yes....I'm only 7 years old, but I feel as though life isn't worth living anymore."
Why children? Why?
When I have children I am going to sit them down and lecture them on people that are ok to bug and those who aren't. My dear future children, lawn mowers are not ok to chase. They are not ok to get remotely close to. It's just not ok, guys.
Another interesting thing to note about my mower job is the way people react to me. I'm on a huge mower....like.....tractor size.....so lots of people give me a very odd looking deer in the headlights look as I pass by.
I often wave at little children (little children playing near their homes or at a park.....the children at the schools I'm mowing only get angry waves) and they look completely shocked and start yelling for their mom in an excited fashion. However, by the time their mom comes outside I'm long gone.
The most interesting response to my existence is old men. Ha! Without fail I'll past an old couple walking together and the woman will wave and smile almost in a "you go girl" fashion, but the man will almost always give a degrading smirk or shake of the head.
I'm taking a Family Relations class this summer and it's kind of cool looking at how the views of gender have changed over time. Back when the grandma and grandpas of today were young a woman would have never had the job I have right now.
In other news, my pre-school job ends on Tuesday. Tuesday is graduation actually.....so technically the last day I'll see the majority of the kids will be Monday. I'm honestly just blocking out the fact that I'm never going to see these kids again. Cause everytime I even think about it for a minute I start crying. ..........like now.
Sigh.
It's just hard saying goodbye to little people that you've seen grow so much over a year. The rapid development of little kids is amazing! It's just unreal to me that I'm going to have to just...say goodbye to ten little kids who don't understand that they are never going to see me again. I can't say anything to them because they just don't get it.
I need to not get so attached.
It's defintely been a very beneficial job. I've had to deal with awful behaviors, manage all kinds of bodily fluids, give nuturing and socialization to socially behind kids, help with motor skills that we take for granted, and best of all played like crazy and at times had five kids chasing me or hanging on me for attention. I'm going to miss it. It really was a great job to prepare me for motherhood, I think.
I know, I know......nothing can prepare me for motherhood other than actually experiencing it.
I feel like I see people post flowery pictures with sayings like that on Facebook multiple times a day, ha ha. :)
Weeeeell, I have two tests this weekend that I best be off to studying for.
I am seriously a very blessed individual. I don't know what I did to deserve Jeff's love, but it's pretty great! I've been having a......I wouldn't say "hard".....but lame (is lame an ok word?) couple of weeks?
One of the defining reasons being that I'm still sick. I don't think I'll ever not not be sick again! It's made me really wish I was pregnant cause then I could at least not be bitter about being sick constantly, ha ha. Oy....
At first (3 months ago) I thought it was just the fact that I work with little kids....and that MIGHT still be the reason, but I've just had a strange cold/drainage of power for quite awhile. I've gotten to the point where I'm just living with it and don't notice it as I'm runnin through life!
I came home today to the house completely clean, flowers on my bed, and a note from my husband when I got home from work. He knows I've been having a "lame" time lately and everything that he did just reduced me to tears.
I felt kinda strange crying over flowers and a clean house, but sometimes it really is the little things that put you over the edge.
My husband is the best. He always listens to me when I think somebody is ridiculous or when I'm complaining about being weak and sick. He is far too cool. I'm so happy he's in my life.
Another reason my life has been kind of....lame....is.....
I'm working two jobs right now and it's just.....blissful. *sarcasm*
I'm going to be super glad when June rolls around. C'mon June! The main reason being schoooooool will be out....for the summer! (read to the tune of the song)
Oh my goodness gracious.........I LOVE children, holy cow I love children! The past month though I've felt like.....the Hulk....or Jekyll and Hyde....because....oh my......when I'm on my mower I HATE children. (ha ha ha........I'm laughing to myself....all alone in my apartment........I must be going insane)
Why? Why do little boys have to run out ten feet in front of me and wave their arms crazy like almost in a: "Please, just kill me....I want you to ram your mower into me, yes....I'm only 7 years old, but I feel as though life isn't worth living anymore."
Why children? Why?
When I have children I am going to sit them down and lecture them on people that are ok to bug and those who aren't. My dear future children, lawn mowers are not ok to chase. They are not ok to get remotely close to. It's just not ok, guys.
Another interesting thing to note about my mower job is the way people react to me. I'm on a huge mower....like.....tractor size.....so lots of people give me a very odd looking deer in the headlights look as I pass by.
I often wave at little children (little children playing near their homes or at a park.....the children at the schools I'm mowing only get angry waves) and they look completely shocked and start yelling for their mom in an excited fashion. However, by the time their mom comes outside I'm long gone.
The most interesting response to my existence is old men. Ha! Without fail I'll past an old couple walking together and the woman will wave and smile almost in a "you go girl" fashion, but the man will almost always give a degrading smirk or shake of the head.
I'm taking a Family Relations class this summer and it's kind of cool looking at how the views of gender have changed over time. Back when the grandma and grandpas of today were young a woman would have never had the job I have right now.
In other news, my pre-school job ends on Tuesday. Tuesday is graduation actually.....so technically the last day I'll see the majority of the kids will be Monday. I'm honestly just blocking out the fact that I'm never going to see these kids again. Cause everytime I even think about it for a minute I start crying. ..........like now.
Sigh.
It's just hard saying goodbye to little people that you've seen grow so much over a year. The rapid development of little kids is amazing! It's just unreal to me that I'm going to have to just...say goodbye to ten little kids who don't understand that they are never going to see me again. I can't say anything to them because they just don't get it.
I need to not get so attached.
It's defintely been a very beneficial job. I've had to deal with awful behaviors, manage all kinds of bodily fluids, give nuturing and socialization to socially behind kids, help with motor skills that we take for granted, and best of all played like crazy and at times had five kids chasing me or hanging on me for attention. I'm going to miss it. It really was a great job to prepare me for motherhood, I think.
I know, I know......nothing can prepare me for motherhood other than actually experiencing it.
I feel like I see people post flowery pictures with sayings like that on Facebook multiple times a day, ha ha. :)
Weeeeell, I have two tests this weekend that I best be off to studying for.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Women of God
WHOA! Blogger changed their website setup on me.....I already didn't know how to do anything on here.....now a change? Oy! Oh well, I'm tech savvy, right? :)
Right.
I usually start out blogging without much to say and then something magically happens and I write more than anyone wants to read, ha ha. Jk....I'm sure people love my run-on sentenced, drawn out logic. Cause I sure do! :-/
Nothing much to update....... other than, we got our grades for the semester! I'd say we did remarkably well for Jeff almost dying this semester and the fact that I just hate spring semesters in general. They drag it seems... I got four A's and a C-! Wooooo!!! Ha ha ha ha.....so funny. We truly do get what we put into things. All of my A's were classes where I learned a LOT. I know the knowledge I learned from those classes will benefit me as a teacher, caregiver, mother, and professional.
............the C- was math. Annnnnd if you read my post a couple times ago about my math situation you'll know that I didn't really have my heart in that class. I didn't need the information so I guess I just.....got what I put into it. It's all good though.....in the long run my grades don't matter as much as most people going out into the workforce. Jeff and I were talking about that....how my grades don't matter as much, but his do.
I plan to own my own business..........so my employer (myself) isn't really going to care if I got a C- in math, ha ha. Jeff on the other hand......his grades kinda count. Lucky for him he always gets A's in his accounting classes which is delightful cause that's what he's majoring in!
I was looking up quotes by Sister Hinckley the other day cause I just adore her and I ran across one that stuck out to me very strongly. I think the reason it struck me so hard is because I've been feeling this way for quite a while now, but I didn't really know how to put it into words. Sister Hinckley said it so simply......yet so perfectly.
“Everything you are learning is preparing you for something else.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley
Very straighforward, right? Kind of a no brainer it sounds like at first, but it made me smile and think about my life a little more critically. I truly believe that everything we experience is teaching us something we need to know for the future. Good or bad.
I fully admit that my role/goal in life is to be a stay at home mom and raise a family. I want that for myself, my husband wants it, God wants it.... However, along the way I'm getting a bachelor's degree because I love learning. I feel like my field of study will help me be a good mom. And the practical reason....if I needed to work outside of the home I could find a job comperable to the salary of an elementary school teacher to help my family with the degree I'm getting.
Now why does any of that matter with that quote? Because that quote brings me peace that the knowledge I'm gaining now will help me later in life.... which in turn means that my path in life should be one of learning and growing. I've pondered this a lot as I've been taking education classes these past four years. Education is interesting because it encompasses so many things.....psychology, linguistics, sociology.... (to name a few)
I'm grateful that I've had the opportunity to learn about these things because like Sister Hinckley I know I will need to know it later in life. I love that we have such wonderful women in the Church to look up to and learn from. Julie B. Beck..... Elaine S. Dalton.... Camilla Eyring Kimball.... are some of my favorite women in the Church to quote along with Sister Hinckley. I just feel like if I take all of the advantages that I can now to become educated I'll be able to do hopefully half as much good as these great women have.
Here are some more quotes from Sister Hinckley that I liked :) -----
(This one I've loved for many years, the rest were new to me)
“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”
“Think about your particular assignment at this time in your life. It may be to get an education, it may be to rear children, it may be to be a grandparent, it may be to care for an relieve the suffering of someone you love, it may be to do a job in the most excellent way possible, it may be to support someone who has a difficult assignment of their own. Our assignments are varied and they change from time to time. Don't take them lightly. Give them your full heart and energy. Do them with enthusiasm. Do whatever you have to do this week with your whole heart and soul. To do less than this will leave you with an empty feeling.”
“The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.”
Right.
I usually start out blogging without much to say and then something magically happens and I write more than anyone wants to read, ha ha. Jk....I'm sure people love my run-on sentenced, drawn out logic. Cause I sure do! :-/
Nothing much to update....... other than, we got our grades for the semester! I'd say we did remarkably well for Jeff almost dying this semester and the fact that I just hate spring semesters in general. They drag it seems... I got four A's and a C-! Wooooo!!! Ha ha ha ha.....so funny. We truly do get what we put into things. All of my A's were classes where I learned a LOT. I know the knowledge I learned from those classes will benefit me as a teacher, caregiver, mother, and professional.
............the C- was math. Annnnnd if you read my post a couple times ago about my math situation you'll know that I didn't really have my heart in that class. I didn't need the information so I guess I just.....got what I put into it. It's all good though.....in the long run my grades don't matter as much as most people going out into the workforce. Jeff and I were talking about that....how my grades don't matter as much, but his do.
I plan to own my own business..........so my employer (myself) isn't really going to care if I got a C- in math, ha ha. Jeff on the other hand......his grades kinda count. Lucky for him he always gets A's in his accounting classes which is delightful cause that's what he's majoring in!
I was looking up quotes by Sister Hinckley the other day cause I just adore her and I ran across one that stuck out to me very strongly. I think the reason it struck me so hard is because I've been feeling this way for quite a while now, but I didn't really know how to put it into words. Sister Hinckley said it so simply......yet so perfectly.
“Everything you are learning is preparing you for something else.” ― Marjorie Pay Hinckley
Very straighforward, right? Kind of a no brainer it sounds like at first, but it made me smile and think about my life a little more critically. I truly believe that everything we experience is teaching us something we need to know for the future. Good or bad.
I fully admit that my role/goal in life is to be a stay at home mom and raise a family. I want that for myself, my husband wants it, God wants it.... However, along the way I'm getting a bachelor's degree because I love learning. I feel like my field of study will help me be a good mom. And the practical reason....if I needed to work outside of the home I could find a job comperable to the salary of an elementary school teacher to help my family with the degree I'm getting.
Now why does any of that matter with that quote? Because that quote brings me peace that the knowledge I'm gaining now will help me later in life.... which in turn means that my path in life should be one of learning and growing. I've pondered this a lot as I've been taking education classes these past four years. Education is interesting because it encompasses so many things.....psychology, linguistics, sociology.... (to name a few)
I'm grateful that I've had the opportunity to learn about these things because like Sister Hinckley I know I will need to know it later in life. I love that we have such wonderful women in the Church to look up to and learn from. Julie B. Beck..... Elaine S. Dalton.... Camilla Eyring Kimball.... are some of my favorite women in the Church to quote along with Sister Hinckley. I just feel like if I take all of the advantages that I can now to become educated I'll be able to do hopefully half as much good as these great women have.
Here are some more quotes from Sister Hinckley that I liked :) -----
(This one I've loved for many years, the rest were new to me)
“The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”
“Think about your particular assignment at this time in your life. It may be to get an education, it may be to rear children, it may be to be a grandparent, it may be to care for an relieve the suffering of someone you love, it may be to do a job in the most excellent way possible, it may be to support someone who has a difficult assignment of their own. Our assignments are varied and they change from time to time. Don't take them lightly. Give them your full heart and energy. Do them with enthusiasm. Do whatever you have to do this week with your whole heart and soul. To do less than this will leave you with an empty feeling.”
“The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.”
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Never Again
Everyone lacks patience, right?
Yep.
I've learned a couple things from my jobs (yes, jobS) this week that made me think to myself...."I will never ever do that again..."
First of all, on a light-ish note I started my summer job today! Woooo!! Mowing for a living is how I've....lived ever since I became an adult. Ha ha...I know, I'm so cool. This is my fifth year mowing, but it's my first year mowing fields.
Oh my goodness it was nerve racking! The whole mowing the field part was totally fine. Got it down, no problem, whatever....
Driving the mower on the ROAD.....holy freak out.
You know when you're driving and the annoying SLOW tractor is driving in front of you and you can't pass them and you want to honk at them because they are ruining your life???
Today I was that "tractor" (mower) and I think I ruined several peoples lives, ha ha. Sigh. This brings me to the point where I say....I'll never again get mad at slow tractors. Once you actually become the person who ruins lives I think it's easier to be more patient when your life is being ruined.
Also, my mower was kind of on the frits today. I was mowing in Kaysville and our shop is in Clearfield (15 minute drive)....the mechanic had to come out from the shop and fix my mower three times today. I felt so bad. There really wasn't anything I could do though...the engine was just being ridiculous. So since my mower was a little sick it went extra slow on the road. ......people got angry. Ha ha.
Anyways, never again. On to the other thing I learned this week!
Yesterday we went to "the farm" at my pre-school job. Yay! My head teacher didn't want to go in the first place cause our kids are so......CRAZY! But we ended up going anyways and it was super fun! Stressful? Yes. But that's what you get when you're in charge of a bunch of autistic kids around large farm animals. One of our little girls got into the horse pen (for approx 3 seconds before my coworker snatched her). Ha ha ha! She wasn't my responsibility though....so no big.... :)
I was in charge of two of our little boys. One is the most high functioning in the class, he's super cute, independent, smart, he cries sometimes (but really....who doesn't cry?) however, he's usually calm. The OTHER kid I was in the charge of is our hardest, wildest, severest, hyper crazy yet total stud student. I love him SO much, but oh man.....
Ha ha ha ha!
I always get put with him when we go places because (don't think I'm vain) he loves me. He kisses me several times a day (generally on my arm) and listens to me/is the most calm with me. Not calm...just the MOST calm.
He's so funny, the whole bus ride to the farm he was freaking out and pointing at everything he saw. He got super upset if I wasn't paying attention to him....
"Daddy daddy....MOMMY! A do dooooo!!!! The water!!!!" Just imagine that nonstop for a 15 minute bus ride. Ha ha ha, I love him so much.
Needless to say he went crazy once we got to the farm. He LOVED all of the animals. I couldn't keep up with him he ran from animal to animal (they had a petting zoo type thing set up) and wanted to hold everything, pet everything, scream and talk ("A woh do do! Ah a cha duh uh?") to everything....
Well, there was a tub full of hamsters that they were letting the kids touch and hold. This was his FAVORITE part. However, every time I would attempt to let him hold a hamster he would SQWEEZE the heck out of it....basically the hamster was going to die. So I couldn't let him hold them.
Our pre-school IS a special education pre-school, however, there is ONE class of "normal" kids. The normal kids came on this field trip with us and.....so did a lot of their parents.
For a split second I didn't notice that my little student had grabbed a hamster and was holding it tight upside-down. I instantly reached over and told him no, but while I did so I got the BIGGEST glare from a mother of one of the "normal" kids. She just kept staring at me after that in a huge ridiculing kind of way and it really made me sad.
I guess the moral of the story is....I will never ever look at the parent/caregiver of a handicap child like that. Never again.
I've never really had that problem in the first place, but I know it's a big problem for a lot of parents with special needs children.
I think the main reason I've never had this problem is I've been around and worked with special needs people for the majority of my life. Whenever I see a struggling mother with a handicap child at the store I make sure to smile at both the mom and child.
Working with my little autistic students for 2 1/2 hours a day is tiring enough, I can't imagine parents who do it all day and night long.
I understand that many people don't have the same feelings I have about special needs people. I also know that many people think they are annoying and their parents should be able to keep them in complete control. It just makes me sad that I can't educate more people into patience and understanding.
I'm grateful that God has blessed me with many opportunities to work with disabled people. They are such wonderful people and are beautiful children of God.
"Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility."
-President Thomas S. Monson
Yep.
I've learned a couple things from my jobs (yes, jobS) this week that made me think to myself...."I will never ever do that again..."
First of all, on a light-ish note I started my summer job today! Woooo!! Mowing for a living is how I've....lived ever since I became an adult. Ha ha...I know, I'm so cool. This is my fifth year mowing, but it's my first year mowing fields.
Oh my goodness it was nerve racking! The whole mowing the field part was totally fine. Got it down, no problem, whatever....
Driving the mower on the ROAD.....holy freak out.
You know when you're driving and the annoying SLOW tractor is driving in front of you and you can't pass them and you want to honk at them because they are ruining your life???
Today I was that "tractor" (mower) and I think I ruined several peoples lives, ha ha. Sigh. This brings me to the point where I say....I'll never again get mad at slow tractors. Once you actually become the person who ruins lives I think it's easier to be more patient when your life is being ruined.
Also, my mower was kind of on the frits today. I was mowing in Kaysville and our shop is in Clearfield (15 minute drive)....the mechanic had to come out from the shop and fix my mower three times today. I felt so bad. There really wasn't anything I could do though...the engine was just being ridiculous. So since my mower was a little sick it went extra slow on the road. ......people got angry. Ha ha.
Anyways, never again. On to the other thing I learned this week!
Yesterday we went to "the farm" at my pre-school job. Yay! My head teacher didn't want to go in the first place cause our kids are so......CRAZY! But we ended up going anyways and it was super fun! Stressful? Yes. But that's what you get when you're in charge of a bunch of autistic kids around large farm animals. One of our little girls got into the horse pen (for approx 3 seconds before my coworker snatched her). Ha ha ha! She wasn't my responsibility though....so no big.... :)
I was in charge of two of our little boys. One is the most high functioning in the class, he's super cute, independent, smart, he cries sometimes (but really....who doesn't cry?) however, he's usually calm. The OTHER kid I was in the charge of is our hardest, wildest, severest, hyper crazy yet total stud student. I love him SO much, but oh man.....
Ha ha ha ha!
I always get put with him when we go places because (don't think I'm vain) he loves me. He kisses me several times a day (generally on my arm) and listens to me/is the most calm with me. Not calm...just the MOST calm.
He's so funny, the whole bus ride to the farm he was freaking out and pointing at everything he saw. He got super upset if I wasn't paying attention to him....
"Daddy daddy....MOMMY! A do dooooo!!!! The water!!!!" Just imagine that nonstop for a 15 minute bus ride. Ha ha ha, I love him so much.
Needless to say he went crazy once we got to the farm. He LOVED all of the animals. I couldn't keep up with him he ran from animal to animal (they had a petting zoo type thing set up) and wanted to hold everything, pet everything, scream and talk ("A woh do do! Ah a cha duh uh?") to everything....
Well, there was a tub full of hamsters that they were letting the kids touch and hold. This was his FAVORITE part. However, every time I would attempt to let him hold a hamster he would SQWEEZE the heck out of it....basically the hamster was going to die. So I couldn't let him hold them.
Our pre-school IS a special education pre-school, however, there is ONE class of "normal" kids. The normal kids came on this field trip with us and.....so did a lot of their parents.
For a split second I didn't notice that my little student had grabbed a hamster and was holding it tight upside-down. I instantly reached over and told him no, but while I did so I got the BIGGEST glare from a mother of one of the "normal" kids. She just kept staring at me after that in a huge ridiculing kind of way and it really made me sad.
I guess the moral of the story is....I will never ever look at the parent/caregiver of a handicap child like that. Never again.
I've never really had that problem in the first place, but I know it's a big problem for a lot of parents with special needs children.
I think the main reason I've never had this problem is I've been around and worked with special needs people for the majority of my life. Whenever I see a struggling mother with a handicap child at the store I make sure to smile at both the mom and child.
Working with my little autistic students for 2 1/2 hours a day is tiring enough, I can't imagine parents who do it all day and night long.
I understand that many people don't have the same feelings I have about special needs people. I also know that many people think they are annoying and their parents should be able to keep them in complete control. It just makes me sad that I can't educate more people into patience and understanding.
I'm grateful that God has blessed me with many opportunities to work with disabled people. They are such wonderful people and are beautiful children of God.
"Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility."
-President Thomas S. Monson
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