So maybe I'm broken, maybe I'm a wimp, maybe I wasn't meant to be active, maybe I was born a gimp? (I wasn't really meaning to rhyme, it just kind of happened)
Whatever the reason is I have never been a runner. This makes me really sad because running is pretty much the best thing ever.....when I'm able to do it's rather enjoyable and exhilirating!
People always say stuff like "Oh yeah....went on my 5 mile run this morning..."
Your what????
They say it like it's no big deal. I've never understood how people can run so much. I ran a HALF mile today and I was about ready to go out and buy a cake for myself cause I was so pleased.
So yeah, never been a runner.
Moral of the story is: I'm going to force myself to learn how to run better. I really do enjoy it when I'm not heaving for breath or throbbing in pain. Thus....I'm gonna train myself and someday I might be a crazy person that says "so on my 5 mile run this morning..."
Well, this will undoubtably be my last post for the year! 2011 has been a very excellent year!
I can't believe we've been married for 9 months already. Being married has taught me so much about myself. Stuff that I didn't want to know and other things that I'm happy to be the way I am.
2012 is going to be a crazy year! I feel like so much stuff is going to happen. Right now I'm trying to gear up a bunch of energy to blow through the next year of school.
Jeff and I had a great Christmas! It was so special to have Christmas morning together in our apartment. There are so many things about our life together that brings me so much joy. Sharing the love for our Savior during Christmas brought us even closer together. I think it will continue to do so every year.
Jeff tells me quite often that he loves me more and more everyday. I'm so glad I have him in my life and that he takes care of me! I sound like a baby, but sometimes I really do feel like one. I think all girls deserve a guy that will let them act irrational sometimes, but also patiently tell them to get it together, ha ha!
Well, I guess I'll see you next year, blog......
Sorry, this post is shorter than most of my usual ones! Jeff is sick right now I'm kind of distracted with other thoughts at the moment. :)
To end this, I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for my future children, and their children, and their children and so on....
I've been thinking about them a lot lately because I'm turning my blog into a book to keep for them to read someday. Hopefully they will read it and either.........learn from my mistakes, like reading about my life, think I'm crazy, want to be more like me, or use the book as a paper weight? Ha ha!
Either way I already love them and I'm glad that Jeff gets to go along with me in the journey of meeting all of them someday. :)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
You'll understand when you're a mom....
I hear that phrase a lot! Ha ha ha!
It seems like their are people in my life (my coworkers) who are just waiting for me to have kids so they can be like...."ha! Don't have as much stamana with kids anymore do ya?"
I'm constantly around kids, it seems. But that's ok with me cause I love them!
From my church calling...which is in the primary, to my major which requires me to be around/analyze/teach/take care of children......my family, meaning my adorable nieces and nephews and most definitely my work where it's all about kids. I love kids!
And ya know what.............as prideful and stuck up as this sounds.....kids love me. Ha ha ha!
No really, they do. My coworkers hate it too. I have one coworker who is constantly saying the "you'll understand when you're a mom" or "maybe they don't like me as much cause I'm a mom so I'm just worn out".
I do realize that when I am a mom it will be different because I'll constantly be around my kids and that will give them 10,000 X more chances to annoy me or push me to my limits, but I have a hard time imagining myself being as snappy and unhappy with children as I see that some women are.
I think one of the main reasons, if not the only reason, kids like me so much is because I pay attention to them. Ha ha! My coworkers will be in total adult la la land and I'll just look at one of my little autistic boys and smile and next to all of them will run over to me/hug me/start playing with me. I love autistic kids so much!
We have two Shawn/Sean's in our class and they are just freakin adorable, I can't stand it most days! Autistic kids have a hard time socially so it's just funny to watch their body language. Everyday Shawn walks off the bus and come over to me. He doesn't say anything....and just leans into me (doesn't hug me...just leans) but it's a dramatic enough lean that it's pretty much shouting at me "HUG ME PLEASE! And don't stop till I say so!"
It was super cute today though cause he came over....and leaned....and then grabbed my hand and started squeezing it really gently kind of like "I hope you're not noticing that I'm trying to hold your hand" kind of way.
Ha ha! I just love them. Close to all of the kids in my class are non-verbal which means they talk with pictures a lot. However, the Shawn/Sean's are the most verbal and repeat a lot of things. Both of them today were practicing how to say "Teacher Amber" which for a kid in their situation.....those are very hard words to say!
k, now I'll get off sounding like everybody loves me.
{sidenote: we have some kids who are potty training in my class and it kind of makes me not look forward to that part of mothering at all!}
Well, in other news, the semester is over!! :)
It was a quick one for me. I took eighteen credits so I was constantly busy, but I loved it. For some reason it's easier for me to take eighteen credits then it is to only take twelve.
I think the reasoning behind that is if I have six classes I freak out a lot more. Freak out equals efficency, apparently? Whereas if I only take four classes I'm like....oh yeah, whatever, I'll get to that homework....later. Then later equals never.
Well, that's pretty much all that's going on here. Jeff's my hero! He works so hard at his job that's basically full time (35 hours). I don't remember if I ever blogged about his new (ish) job. He works at Goldenwest Credit Union at their corporate office! He pretty much does whatever the executives tell him to do. It's a pretty important job!
I hate to sound like a cheesy person all the time, but I really am very proud of him. He's going to be a great businessman someday and he already has his foot in lots of doors I feel like. I love him a lot and I'm grateful that he makes supporting us his number one priority.
Well, I guess one more semester down, five more to go! It seems like a lot when you say it that way, but really it's going by super fast!
It seems like their are people in my life (my coworkers) who are just waiting for me to have kids so they can be like...."ha! Don't have as much stamana with kids anymore do ya?"
I'm constantly around kids, it seems. But that's ok with me cause I love them!
From my church calling...which is in the primary, to my major which requires me to be around/analyze/teach/take care of children......my family, meaning my adorable nieces and nephews and most definitely my work where it's all about kids. I love kids!
And ya know what.............as prideful and stuck up as this sounds.....kids love me. Ha ha ha!
No really, they do. My coworkers hate it too. I have one coworker who is constantly saying the "you'll understand when you're a mom" or "maybe they don't like me as much cause I'm a mom so I'm just worn out".
I do realize that when I am a mom it will be different because I'll constantly be around my kids and that will give them 10,000 X more chances to annoy me or push me to my limits, but I have a hard time imagining myself being as snappy and unhappy with children as I see that some women are.
I think one of the main reasons, if not the only reason, kids like me so much is because I pay attention to them. Ha ha! My coworkers will be in total adult la la land and I'll just look at one of my little autistic boys and smile and next to all of them will run over to me/hug me/start playing with me. I love autistic kids so much!
We have two Shawn/Sean's in our class and they are just freakin adorable, I can't stand it most days! Autistic kids have a hard time socially so it's just funny to watch their body language. Everyday Shawn walks off the bus and come over to me. He doesn't say anything....and just leans into me (doesn't hug me...just leans) but it's a dramatic enough lean that it's pretty much shouting at me "HUG ME PLEASE! And don't stop till I say so!"
It was super cute today though cause he came over....and leaned....and then grabbed my hand and started squeezing it really gently kind of like "I hope you're not noticing that I'm trying to hold your hand" kind of way.
Ha ha! I just love them. Close to all of the kids in my class are non-verbal which means they talk with pictures a lot. However, the Shawn/Sean's are the most verbal and repeat a lot of things. Both of them today were practicing how to say "Teacher Amber" which for a kid in their situation.....those are very hard words to say!
k, now I'll get off sounding like everybody loves me.
{sidenote: we have some kids who are potty training in my class and it kind of makes me not look forward to that part of mothering at all!}
Well, in other news, the semester is over!! :)
It was a quick one for me. I took eighteen credits so I was constantly busy, but I loved it. For some reason it's easier for me to take eighteen credits then it is to only take twelve.
I think the reasoning behind that is if I have six classes I freak out a lot more. Freak out equals efficency, apparently? Whereas if I only take four classes I'm like....oh yeah, whatever, I'll get to that homework....later. Then later equals never.
Well, that's pretty much all that's going on here. Jeff's my hero! He works so hard at his job that's basically full time (35 hours). I don't remember if I ever blogged about his new (ish) job. He works at Goldenwest Credit Union at their corporate office! He pretty much does whatever the executives tell him to do. It's a pretty important job!
I hate to sound like a cheesy person all the time, but I really am very proud of him. He's going to be a great businessman someday and he already has his foot in lots of doors I feel like. I love him a lot and I'm grateful that he makes supporting us his number one priority.
Well, I guess one more semester down, five more to go! It seems like a lot when you say it that way, but really it's going by super fast!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sometimes I wonder...
Sometimes I wonder where I would be without certain experiences I've had in my life...
I'm taking a class this semester that has really changed my life. It's Children's Literature.
You're thinking......ha.....she's being sarcastic....
Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure it's the best class I've ever taken. Don't let the title fool you either....it's not an easy class. We have had tons of work all semester long, including having to read 29 books. Yes, I know that's not a big deal for most people when they are considered "children's literature", but I'm not most people. :)
This class has been super beneficial to how I view education and how I'm going to act as a teacher someday.
Someday is such a vague word. Hmmmm...someday. I actually don't plan on being a teacher for a very long time and in lots of ways that scares me. I'm going to forget everything! No....probably not, but it's still interesting to think about "someday".
Which leads me to wondering....
Sometimes I wonder where I would be if my schooling hadn't turned out like it has. I still have 5 semesters of school till I graduate. I've KNOWN since my senior year in high school that I was going to do elementary ed. And now....3 1/2 years later I still have 5 semesters to go, ha ha.
It really does make me think that Heavenly Father knows a lot more about my situation than I do. Seriously, every semester I think to myself, 'well, God must know why I'm still this behind. He must know why I couldn't get into the stupid....I mean... totally awesome CHF 2610 class for the third time.' Ha ha ha! :)
Sometimes I wonder why things turn out like they do, but in the end I always find the answer: Heavenly Father knows why, it's ok if I don't.
Sometimes I wonder why......people think so differently from me. I have people in my life at work and school that I just stare at them sometimes (and sometimes they stare back which is awkward) and just think....ehhhh, k?
Ha ha. I'm not saying I don't like these people, because I really do! I just don't understand them. How they talk about their husbands, kids, lives....it's all so polar opposite of how I feel and I can't help but wonder.....why would anyone think that way?
For example, in my Spanish class today we were given the assignment to talk about/debate with the other table of students IN Spanish of course (oy) if getting married is essential to one's happiness. My table was given the assignment to argue why it's NOT essential....and the other table was given opinion of why it IS.
I just laughed the whole time while we were "planning" what we were going to say. It was me and four single girls who all had really strong opinions that getting married is not the thing to do. One girl was going NUTS over how she never needs a man and how her mother should get out of her life and stop telling her she needs to get married. Another girl was very passionate about how cohabitation is the way to go and getting married only leads to responsibility and children.
Seriously I was just laughing the whole time. Maybe that's immature of me....?...yeah, probably is.
This is my firm belief....and I'm not gonna say it in Spanish....
Getting married is the best thing anyone could ever do and leads to more happiness than any other alternative.
The girls in my group were arguing that marriage is 'not as easy and people think it's going to be' (since they are experts) and that people end up miserable and unhappy with their spouse so why would you get married in the first place?
I agree that marriage is hard at times, but it's only miserable if you make it that way. You're only unhappy if you choose that route. If you work with your spouse to be happy and be in love then.....it will happen.
The support that you get from a loving spouse is the BEST thing you could ever ask for. Not wanting the responsibility of being married is an easy way to say you're
too selfish to take care of someone besides yourself.
The happiest I've ever been has been since I've been married. I couldn't be happier with my life right now. :)
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't so shy. Jeff never fails to point out when I'm being shy and it always makes me cringe.
I grew up as the shy girl. At home I was a complete weirdo that would never shut up, but as soon as I left my front door I always had the shy face on. It wasn't till I was in 9th grade that I started to be.....not as shy?
Anybody that really has taken the time to know me knows I'm not shy, but the vast majority of the world thinks I most certainly am, ha ha.
I have some co-workers that are.....lovely....and they talk about questionable things. They are all either kinda LDS or not LDS (by kinda I mean- they are on Sundays and aren't afraid to admit it?) so they talk about things, swear, whatever whatever and after they are done/in the middle of saying something/swearing they look and me for a reaction. Most often they look at me and say "I feel so bad being naughty in front of you, Amber......*pause to wait for reaction*"
Ya know, I hate when people put me in that situation...ha ha ha. Because it t-otally puts me in my shy mode. (Yes, I have different modes) When people do that to me (and I firmly believe they are forcing it upon me *sarcasm*) my face goes red, I awkwardly say "...it's ok" and then their view of me is confirmed.
In a way, I am grateful to be viewed that way though. As urkful as it is to be labeled shy my whole life I would much rather be viewed that way than be someone who swears along with them. I'm grateful that it is blaringly obvious that I'm LDS and live those standards.
In the end, it brings me back to sometimes I wonder why people say and live the way they do. So....fascinating.
Agency is a wonderful thing, huh?
Well, those ponderings pretty much sum up my life lately! Jeff and I are doing just swell. Only 3 (ish) more weeks in the semester! I'm all registered for next semester so that's a relief!
“Live so that those who know you, but don’t know Him, will want to know Him because they know you.”
I'm taking a class this semester that has really changed my life. It's Children's Literature.
You're thinking......ha.....she's being sarcastic....
Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure it's the best class I've ever taken. Don't let the title fool you either....it's not an easy class. We have had tons of work all semester long, including having to read 29 books. Yes, I know that's not a big deal for most people when they are considered "children's literature", but I'm not most people. :)
This class has been super beneficial to how I view education and how I'm going to act as a teacher someday.
Someday is such a vague word. Hmmmm...someday. I actually don't plan on being a teacher for a very long time and in lots of ways that scares me. I'm going to forget everything! No....probably not, but it's still interesting to think about "someday".
Which leads me to wondering....
Sometimes I wonder where I would be if my schooling hadn't turned out like it has. I still have 5 semesters of school till I graduate. I've KNOWN since my senior year in high school that I was going to do elementary ed. And now....3 1/2 years later I still have 5 semesters to go, ha ha.
It really does make me think that Heavenly Father knows a lot more about my situation than I do. Seriously, every semester I think to myself, 'well, God must know why I'm still this behind. He must know why I couldn't get into the stupid....I mean... totally awesome CHF 2610 class for the third time.' Ha ha ha! :)
Sometimes I wonder why things turn out like they do, but in the end I always find the answer: Heavenly Father knows why, it's ok if I don't.
Sometimes I wonder why......people think so differently from me. I have people in my life at work and school that I just stare at them sometimes (and sometimes they stare back which is awkward) and just think....ehhhh, k?
Ha ha. I'm not saying I don't like these people, because I really do! I just don't understand them. How they talk about their husbands, kids, lives....it's all so polar opposite of how I feel and I can't help but wonder.....why would anyone think that way?
For example, in my Spanish class today we were given the assignment to talk about/debate with the other table of students IN Spanish of course (oy) if getting married is essential to one's happiness. My table was given the assignment to argue why it's NOT essential....and the other table was given opinion of why it IS.
I just laughed the whole time while we were "planning" what we were going to say. It was me and four single girls who all had really strong opinions that getting married is not the thing to do. One girl was going NUTS over how she never needs a man and how her mother should get out of her life and stop telling her she needs to get married. Another girl was very passionate about how cohabitation is the way to go and getting married only leads to responsibility and children.
Seriously I was just laughing the whole time. Maybe that's immature of me....?...yeah, probably is.
This is my firm belief....and I'm not gonna say it in Spanish....
Getting married is the best thing anyone could ever do and leads to more happiness than any other alternative.
The girls in my group were arguing that marriage is 'not as easy and people think it's going to be' (since they are experts) and that people end up miserable and unhappy with their spouse so why would you get married in the first place?
I agree that marriage is hard at times, but it's only miserable if you make it that way. You're only unhappy if you choose that route. If you work with your spouse to be happy and be in love then.....it will happen.
The support that you get from a loving spouse is the BEST thing you could ever ask for. Not wanting the responsibility of being married is an easy way to say you're
too selfish to take care of someone besides yourself.
The happiest I've ever been has been since I've been married. I couldn't be happier with my life right now. :)
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't so shy. Jeff never fails to point out when I'm being shy and it always makes me cringe.
I grew up as the shy girl. At home I was a complete weirdo that would never shut up, but as soon as I left my front door I always had the shy face on. It wasn't till I was in 9th grade that I started to be.....not as shy?
Anybody that really has taken the time to know me knows I'm not shy, but the vast majority of the world thinks I most certainly am, ha ha.
I have some co-workers that are.....lovely....and they talk about questionable things. They are all either kinda LDS or not LDS (by kinda I mean- they are on Sundays and aren't afraid to admit it?) so they talk about things, swear, whatever whatever and after they are done/in the middle of saying something/swearing they look and me for a reaction. Most often they look at me and say "I feel so bad being naughty in front of you, Amber......*pause to wait for reaction*"
Ya know, I hate when people put me in that situation...ha ha ha. Because it t-otally puts me in my shy mode. (Yes, I have different modes) When people do that to me (and I firmly believe they are forcing it upon me *sarcasm*) my face goes red, I awkwardly say "...it's ok" and then their view of me is confirmed.
In a way, I am grateful to be viewed that way though. As urkful as it is to be labeled shy my whole life I would much rather be viewed that way than be someone who swears along with them. I'm grateful that it is blaringly obvious that I'm LDS and live those standards.
In the end, it brings me back to sometimes I wonder why people say and live the way they do. So....fascinating.
Agency is a wonderful thing, huh?
Well, those ponderings pretty much sum up my life lately! Jeff and I are doing just swell. Only 3 (ish) more weeks in the semester! I'm all registered for next semester so that's a relief!
“Live so that those who know you, but don’t know Him, will want to know Him because they know you.”
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Happy 6 Months to Us!
So I figured since it's our six month anniversary tomorrow I should write something, right? :)
I had a friend (this was long before I was married) that told me...."My husband and I just had our six month anniversary and we felt it was a HUGE milestone in our lives!" Even though I wasn't married and didn't know how that felt I was kinda like...."Uhhhhhh....right..." and now that I have been married for that long I'm thinking.....milestone?? I feel like it's only been a couple of weeks! Ha ha ha. k, so maybe it's been a little longer than that, but I still feel like a brand new married person.
Being married teaches you a lot of things. I decided I would write a little top ten list of things I've learned SO FAR....
10. Differences in political views can't stop love. Ha ha ha ha! This one is funny. I don't know much about politics, but what I DO know, I'm passionate about. I know that makes me sound like a dud, but meh...it's true! I'm moderate in like.....everything....I can see the views of conservatives and liberals and kind of mix my views from both. Jeff is definitely more Republican. And since Jeff is a lot smarter than me, I usually try to argue my ideas for like 15 minutes and then he wins. Ha ha ha! Granted we only have these chats only a couple times a month, but it's still kind of funny. We end up laughing more than anything else.
9. True love is when your spouse knows what you want from all fast food franchises. Ha! Our conversations whenever we go out to eat usually sound like this....
Jeff: "You want the...."
Amber: "Yep."
Jeff: "Thought so."
8. No matter how many times I ask him he will NEVER have any suggestions for baby names. He will ALWAYS turn down 75% of the names I say, but won't ever come up with any. Ha ha ha ha! I always tell him....Well, if you can't come up with any you must not care too much. And he always says......I know what I don't want! Isn't that good enough? :)
FYI: We aren't having a baby for awhile....but OBVIOUSLY when you get married you're going to talk about your future babies. They are huge deal! They end up taking up 100% of your time for 20+ years! :)
7. Having someone to cook and clean for is actually a very fulfilling feeling. I love taking care of him. :)
6. School is 200% easier when you're married. I was so burnt out before I got married. I wanted to quit very badly and didn't see the point. Now that I'm married I can see how important it is to finish school and Jeff gives me the motivation I need to finish. It will benefit our family so much and make everything so much more secure. I've done really well this semester and I'm taking 18 credits which is crazy for me. I would have never been able to do it before I was married. Also, since we are married it makes studying easier because we don't have to go anywhere anymore. When we were dating we lived a half hour away from each other, plus we were constantly doing things with our friends. Having friends really puts a damper on studying. Ha ha ha! We actually will spend our nights studying now and I LOVE it!
5. The greatest language isn't spoken. That's pretty much self-explanatory. Basically all of the things that Jeff does, but doesn't say makes me very happy. How he provides for me. How he helps me feel better without even saying anything. He always is one step ahead of me in knowing what I need at all times. I love him for that.
4. I think a sign that we are becoming the same person is the fact that the phrase: "I was just going to say that." is said in our house many times a day. It makes me glad that we are on the same page so often. It makes living together a happy experience!
3. I have this firm belief that if you always make eye contact you won't ever stay frustrated very long. I have noticed that the main times Jeff and I have ever had miscommunication or were frustrated with each other have been when we weren't in the same room or didn't make eye contact. Eye contact is so essential to good communication and seriously can solve any dispute. Jeff and I don't fight in the first place, but I've noticed that when we make eye contact we are just flat out happier with each other and are in better moods.
2. This one is kind of funny and Jeff might be mad that I'm going to say this. This one has to do with sickness. I have decided that the way a family is raised to handle sickness stays deeply embedded in a person's personality. I have also kind of decided that maybe Jeff's family handles sickness better than mine does. All the while, while I was growing up my family was taught to tough it out and man up when it came to sickness. If you were not feeling well you would still go to school (obviously only if you weren't contagious). You would still go to work. You were expected to perform at the same level as when you were healthy. I'm not railing on my parents, because they actually never laid it out that brutally, but that was the idea behind it. That was just the way they lived THEIR lives, so my siblings and I followed suit. (Maybe they will read this and think I'm nuts)
Jeff's family does it in a lot cooler way. When someone is sick they receive things like....comfort food! And they aren't really expected to do much. When Jeff and I first started dating he asked me what my comfort food was and I was like... "My......what???" Ha ha ha ha ha! Jeff's family probably does it better.
However, like I said, it's deeply embedded in a person's personality to be that way so I have a hard time with it sometimes. Jeff will tell me not to do stuff if I'm not feeling good, so as I'm getting dragged by him to lay down and relax I'm usually spouting off the 10 things I needed to do right then. It's strange sometimes.
1. And finally.......my definition of true love is when you can feel more natural being around the person you love than you feel when you're alone. I've always been a really shy person (whatever, Mom, yes I have). I try to be pretty normal and outgoing and most of time it works pretty good! (?!?) But I have never felt more like myself then when I am with Jeff. I have never been more of who I truly think I am than when I am with just him. He makes me my actual true shy, but crazy inside self and I consider that a HUGE blessing. That feeling of being healthy with loving yourself and who you are is a great blessing and I know he has brought that into my life. I don't have to be trapped in wondering if he's judging my fascade of the person I want people to think I am. I know he loves me and knows me better than I know myself and to me that's the BEST feeling ever. I never have to pretend with him. If I ever did pretend to be feeling something I'm not he would be able to tell.
That fact that he knows me and my needs better than I know myself is the best part about being married. <3
I had a friend (this was long before I was married) that told me...."My husband and I just had our six month anniversary and we felt it was a HUGE milestone in our lives!" Even though I wasn't married and didn't know how that felt I was kinda like...."Uhhhhhh....right..." and now that I have been married for that long I'm thinking.....milestone?? I feel like it's only been a couple of weeks! Ha ha ha. k, so maybe it's been a little longer than that, but I still feel like a brand new married person.
Being married teaches you a lot of things. I decided I would write a little top ten list of things I've learned SO FAR....
10. Differences in political views can't stop love. Ha ha ha ha! This one is funny. I don't know much about politics, but what I DO know, I'm passionate about. I know that makes me sound like a dud, but meh...it's true! I'm moderate in like.....everything....I can see the views of conservatives and liberals and kind of mix my views from both. Jeff is definitely more Republican. And since Jeff is a lot smarter than me, I usually try to argue my ideas for like 15 minutes and then he wins. Ha ha ha! Granted we only have these chats only a couple times a month, but it's still kind of funny. We end up laughing more than anything else.
9. True love is when your spouse knows what you want from all fast food franchises. Ha! Our conversations whenever we go out to eat usually sound like this....
Jeff: "You want the...."
Amber: "Yep."
Jeff: "Thought so."
8. No matter how many times I ask him he will NEVER have any suggestions for baby names. He will ALWAYS turn down 75% of the names I say, but won't ever come up with any. Ha ha ha ha! I always tell him....Well, if you can't come up with any you must not care too much. And he always says......I know what I don't want! Isn't that good enough? :)
FYI: We aren't having a baby for awhile....but OBVIOUSLY when you get married you're going to talk about your future babies. They are huge deal! They end up taking up 100% of your time for 20+ years! :)
7. Having someone to cook and clean for is actually a very fulfilling feeling. I love taking care of him. :)
6. School is 200% easier when you're married. I was so burnt out before I got married. I wanted to quit very badly and didn't see the point. Now that I'm married I can see how important it is to finish school and Jeff gives me the motivation I need to finish. It will benefit our family so much and make everything so much more secure. I've done really well this semester and I'm taking 18 credits which is crazy for me. I would have never been able to do it before I was married. Also, since we are married it makes studying easier because we don't have to go anywhere anymore. When we were dating we lived a half hour away from each other, plus we were constantly doing things with our friends. Having friends really puts a damper on studying. Ha ha ha! We actually will spend our nights studying now and I LOVE it!
5. The greatest language isn't spoken. That's pretty much self-explanatory. Basically all of the things that Jeff does, but doesn't say makes me very happy. How he provides for me. How he helps me feel better without even saying anything. He always is one step ahead of me in knowing what I need at all times. I love him for that.
4. I think a sign that we are becoming the same person is the fact that the phrase: "I was just going to say that." is said in our house many times a day. It makes me glad that we are on the same page so often. It makes living together a happy experience!
3. I have this firm belief that if you always make eye contact you won't ever stay frustrated very long. I have noticed that the main times Jeff and I have ever had miscommunication or were frustrated with each other have been when we weren't in the same room or didn't make eye contact. Eye contact is so essential to good communication and seriously can solve any dispute. Jeff and I don't fight in the first place, but I've noticed that when we make eye contact we are just flat out happier with each other and are in better moods.
2. This one is kind of funny and Jeff might be mad that I'm going to say this. This one has to do with sickness. I have decided that the way a family is raised to handle sickness stays deeply embedded in a person's personality. I have also kind of decided that maybe Jeff's family handles sickness better than mine does. All the while, while I was growing up my family was taught to tough it out and man up when it came to sickness. If you were not feeling well you would still go to school (obviously only if you weren't contagious). You would still go to work. You were expected to perform at the same level as when you were healthy. I'm not railing on my parents, because they actually never laid it out that brutally, but that was the idea behind it. That was just the way they lived THEIR lives, so my siblings and I followed suit. (Maybe they will read this and think I'm nuts)
Jeff's family does it in a lot cooler way. When someone is sick they receive things like....comfort food! And they aren't really expected to do much. When Jeff and I first started dating he asked me what my comfort food was and I was like... "My......what???" Ha ha ha ha ha! Jeff's family probably does it better.
However, like I said, it's deeply embedded in a person's personality to be that way so I have a hard time with it sometimes. Jeff will tell me not to do stuff if I'm not feeling good, so as I'm getting dragged by him to lay down and relax I'm usually spouting off the 10 things I needed to do right then. It's strange sometimes.
1. And finally.......my definition of true love is when you can feel more natural being around the person you love than you feel when you're alone. I've always been a really shy person (whatever, Mom, yes I have). I try to be pretty normal and outgoing and most of time it works pretty good! (?!?) But I have never felt more like myself then when I am with Jeff. I have never been more of who I truly think I am than when I am with just him. He makes me my actual true shy, but crazy inside self and I consider that a HUGE blessing. That feeling of being healthy with loving yourself and who you are is a great blessing and I know he has brought that into my life. I don't have to be trapped in wondering if he's judging my fascade of the person I want people to think I am. I know he loves me and knows me better than I know myself and to me that's the BEST feeling ever. I never have to pretend with him. If I ever did pretend to be feeling something I'm not he would be able to tell.
That fact that he knows me and my needs better than I know myself is the best part about being married. <3
Saturday, September 10, 2011
El Mundo
Yep, the title is in Spanish...and yep, it's not December and I'm already writing again, ha ha!
I've been wanting to write the past couple of days and now I finally can! Hooray!
I'm reading a novel for my Children's Literature (pretty much the best class ever) that's really great! It's called the Devil's Arithmetic and it's about the Holocaust. Not only has this book made me think, but also other things like how tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 and what not, I've just been...thinking lately.
Six million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. I don't know how many people died from 9/11, but when you look at it, these were two significant events of total destruction and heartbreak and ciaos.
But really, heartbreak is happening everyday all around us. Obviously not to the same magnitude, but there is destruction happening all over the world (el mundo).
In my ESL class there is a student who had taught in Georgia and she said that a large part of the students she taught lived in cars with their families, or lived in cars alone because their parents were in jail. To me that's heartbreak.
We always seem to think of Africa (which is totally a country) when we think of starving people, but I have kids in my autistic class that come to pre-school hungry.
It's super sad reading the book that I am right now because it makes me feel really selfish. It started storming while I was reading and I immediately thought "oh no! Thunder! Jeff's not home!" ...........psh...it's thunder. Ha ha.
The people who lived through the Holocaust didn't have food for days, lived in trenches, and watched their family die, and I'm getting scared from thunder?
I am so blessed. I'm filthy rich compared to 2/3 if not more of the world and I still worry about money sometimes.
Not only am I lucky that I have ALL of my basic needs, a free country to live in, higher education, a car, a laptop, a cell phone, but I have the Gospel in my life too.
I have faith to believe in, and hope to live by. Even though the world is crazy with politics and war and poverty, I have the light of Christ to see me through all of it. I don't have to be afraid like the Jews were during World War II. Like so many people are in the lower socioeconomic statuses.
I always say it's a good thing that Jeff really looked up to the senior missionary couples in his mission cause it's always given him the desire to serve a mission (if not a couple) when we are old. I figure till then I won't really have a way to go out into the world and help.
For now I just get to help with the people in my own world. I go to work everyday and I can see the difficulities that the little boys in my class face and I feel like I'm making a least a little bit of a difference. For these boys, they don't have to suffer like so many people in third world countries do, but they have to fight another kind of battle. They struggle with basic motor skills, social skills, couping skills and for most of them they will struggle their whole lives. It's really neat though when the one little boy who can only mumble and doesn't articulate finally says his name clearly during circle time. To me, that's a beautiful thing.
I don't really mean to sound like a downer in this post, kind of the opposite actually. In the Devil's Arithmetic the older Jewish ladies in the concentration camps are always telling the younger women that they need to laugh more. When the younger girls tell them they are crazy, the older women just say....if we laugh then we won't cry. We are in God's hands now.
I believe that we are always in God's hands. Whether we are rich or poor, married or not, Christian or Jew....we're always in God's hands. There is not a person on this earth that our Heavenly Father doesn't love. Our only problem as His children is we don't love each other.
Anyways, I feel really priviledged to live where I do, with my loving husband, and with the wonderful family we have, the opportunities we have to learn and help others.
There have been dozens of times already since Jeff and I have been married where he has helped people move, helped fix their houses, taken people things they need, etc....and he always says to me... "I can't take peoples money when I do stuff like that...I was just raised to willingly help people like that."
I love him for that. :)
So I guess, going into 9/11 tomorrow I'm just going to be thinking a lot, not only about the people who suffered from that event, but also about the future and how it can only get better if we choose to make it that way.
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." -Mother Teresa
I've been wanting to write the past couple of days and now I finally can! Hooray!
I'm reading a novel for my Children's Literature (pretty much the best class ever) that's really great! It's called the Devil's Arithmetic and it's about the Holocaust. Not only has this book made me think, but also other things like how tomorrow is the 10 year anniversary of 9/11 and what not, I've just been...thinking lately.
Six million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. I don't know how many people died from 9/11, but when you look at it, these were two significant events of total destruction and heartbreak and ciaos.
But really, heartbreak is happening everyday all around us. Obviously not to the same magnitude, but there is destruction happening all over the world (el mundo).
In my ESL class there is a student who had taught in Georgia and she said that a large part of the students she taught lived in cars with their families, or lived in cars alone because their parents were in jail. To me that's heartbreak.
We always seem to think of Africa (which is totally a country) when we think of starving people, but I have kids in my autistic class that come to pre-school hungry.
It's super sad reading the book that I am right now because it makes me feel really selfish. It started storming while I was reading and I immediately thought "oh no! Thunder! Jeff's not home!" ...........psh...it's thunder. Ha ha.
The people who lived through the Holocaust didn't have food for days, lived in trenches, and watched their family die, and I'm getting scared from thunder?
I am so blessed. I'm filthy rich compared to 2/3 if not more of the world and I still worry about money sometimes.
Not only am I lucky that I have ALL of my basic needs, a free country to live in, higher education, a car, a laptop, a cell phone, but I have the Gospel in my life too.
I have faith to believe in, and hope to live by. Even though the world is crazy with politics and war and poverty, I have the light of Christ to see me through all of it. I don't have to be afraid like the Jews were during World War II. Like so many people are in the lower socioeconomic statuses.
I always say it's a good thing that Jeff really looked up to the senior missionary couples in his mission cause it's always given him the desire to serve a mission (if not a couple) when we are old. I figure till then I won't really have a way to go out into the world and help.
For now I just get to help with the people in my own world. I go to work everyday and I can see the difficulities that the little boys in my class face and I feel like I'm making a least a little bit of a difference. For these boys, they don't have to suffer like so many people in third world countries do, but they have to fight another kind of battle. They struggle with basic motor skills, social skills, couping skills and for most of them they will struggle their whole lives. It's really neat though when the one little boy who can only mumble and doesn't articulate finally says his name clearly during circle time. To me, that's a beautiful thing.
I don't really mean to sound like a downer in this post, kind of the opposite actually. In the Devil's Arithmetic the older Jewish ladies in the concentration camps are always telling the younger women that they need to laugh more. When the younger girls tell them they are crazy, the older women just say....if we laugh then we won't cry. We are in God's hands now.
I believe that we are always in God's hands. Whether we are rich or poor, married or not, Christian or Jew....we're always in God's hands. There is not a person on this earth that our Heavenly Father doesn't love. Our only problem as His children is we don't love each other.
Anyways, I feel really priviledged to live where I do, with my loving husband, and with the wonderful family we have, the opportunities we have to learn and help others.
There have been dozens of times already since Jeff and I have been married where he has helped people move, helped fix their houses, taken people things they need, etc....and he always says to me... "I can't take peoples money when I do stuff like that...I was just raised to willingly help people like that."
I love him for that. :)
So I guess, going into 9/11 tomorrow I'm just going to be thinking a lot, not only about the people who suffered from that event, but also about the future and how it can only get better if we choose to make it that way.
"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway." -Mother Teresa
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Summer of '69
Actually, it was the summer of '11, but '69 is a much cooler title.
I figured I would snag this moment to write since my worn out husband is sleeping and I literally have nothing to do except for the big list of things to do on the fridge! (ha!)
Yes, I haven't written since April. It's been a crazy summer!
My first summer married!
It's been really nice actually. Jeff and I have spent tons of time together because we both worked full time at the same time during the day so we had all afternoons, nights, and weekends available to do wonderful things!
I've learned a lot this summer it seems like. I've learned about myself and Jeff and others.....I don't think I'll ever stop observing people....they fascinate me too much.
Through all of this observing I've concluded that I don't understand people. Ha ha ha ha ha! Like flat out....Jeff and I have had many conversations trying to figure people out and flat out, man, I got nothin'.
It's just interesting that you (yes, you) live your life in your little sphere called 'yourself' and you think your thoughts....you dream your dreams....you judge the judged....and YOU think it's totally cool.
Then you look at how other people are judging, dreaming, thinking....and it's like..."say what?" How could those judgements, dreams, and thoughts possibly be normal? How could they possibly be what another human being would be doing?
(I don't feel this way about ALL people.....just some specific people who have boggled my mind... :) )
My best guess answer to these questions is....agency.
I had a friend ask me about agency one time. He's not LDS and wanted to know how we could be free agents and still be lead by God or still have God's influence in our lives. I think agency is such a beautiful thing and you can really only understand it when you are close to the spirit. The beauty and simplicity of it is explained through the Holy Ghost.
I've learned a lot about agency this summer. I've learned that you can't make people think what you think no matter how hard you believe it. It's kind of like Heavenly Father's plan for us. He gave us agency because He loves us so much and didn't want to say...'here, this is what you should believe because I think it's the best'. It's like I said with the dreaming, thinking, and judging thing....God does all those things in His perfect way and then you look at His children (all of us) and we are TOTALLY not the normal ones when it comes to dreaming, thinking, and judging.
But that's how it's supposed to be isn't it? We are all supposed to be different. If we weren't there wouldn't be a need for forgiveness....there wouldn't need to be a Savior....or the Atonement.
I'm grateful that Heavenly Father made us different just so I could learn to be patient with other people.
Another thing I have learned this summer is that I'm extremely grateful for my family.
My family: Jeff.
I KNOW Heavenly Father wanted me to marry Jeff, because in this world of people who are SO different from me....he is the least different of any guy that I could have ever dreamed of meeting. He and I think so much alike that it makes making decisions easy, it makes living together easy, it makes so many things easy.
Anyways, enough of my babbling....
(I love Jeff)
This summer has had lots of fun things going on!
We were previously living in the basement of this 4-plex, but now we live in the upstairs which has a lot more space and will be good so we can stay here till we both graduate from Weber. (which, since Jeff is getting a Masters won't be for like....4 years, probably!)
I played my harp at my first wedding this summer! I had played for lots of smaller events/parties before, but never a wedding so that was fun. I also played at church and everyone was all impressed (psh...little do they know...ha ha :) )
Jeff and I both got callings this summer. Jeff is the Gospel Doctrine instructor. There are actually two Gospel Doctrine classes in our ward (it's a big ward). Mostly newlyweds go to one....and mostly nearly deads go to the one that Jeff teaches! Ha ha ha! Bless him.....
There is this blind family in our ward that are really cool. Actually, only the dad and one daughter are blind, but they are neat. The dad is one of the stake patriarchs and as one of the bishopbric members said to us "it's neat, because it's like he has a different kind of vision!" Ha ha ha! We love our bishopbric....they are kind of corny, and it's hilarious.
I was called as one of the primary choristers! I trade off with this young married guy every other week. It's been really fun so far....there are tons of kids in our ward. We have about 15 four year olds and 10 three year olds, so it's kind of crazy! I always tell them to sing LOUD, but not SCREAM...and they still have a hard time with that one....
It's amazing though how kids can learn hard songs like Praise to the Man. Those little 4 year olds belt that song out like they are in Motab or something.
Jeff's sister got married last week and her and Alex are moving into the basement apartment where we lived! It'll be fun having them live here, especially since they are family and we don't have to deal with strangers (our old upstairs neighbors were not very friendly, ha ha).
We've had some weird drama with the apartment situation in the past month or so, ha ha ha. It's mostly just funny. Jeff and I have been the only ones living in the 4-plex for the past month and a half, so we were given the job by our landlord (who says "Jeff is the boss of the 4-plex now") to find new people to live here.
So one day we had a couple coming over to look at the two apartments that were empty and about an hour before they came over the lady that used to live in the other upstairs apartment was over there cleaning. Jeff went over and asked if we could show the apartment to some friends of ours and she kind of freaked out, ha ha. I guess the apartment that they moved to had black mold and was making her deathly ill and when our friends came over to see the apartment she met them before we could and told them that they were moving back in and they couldn't see the apartment, ha ha!
Jeff and I were like.....whoa...?
So even though her husband works in Provo now, and their new apartment does NOT have black mold, they are moving back in because they love this place so much. Good luck on that commute!
It's kind of awkward though cause we haven't really been watering their garden that they gave to us.......and after that whole "you can't see our apartment" episode....it's just gonna be a little weird. Ha ha ha!
Jeff took me to Bear Lake as a surprise one weekend this summer! It was super fun! We just went up and stayed overnight and got yummy raspberry shakes! (that's like the only reason to go to Bear Lake...) It was a fun little trip!
Jeff's family shares a cabin with his extended family and we have gone up to it twice this summer....once in May and once at the end of July. We love going up to the cabin! It's up in Midway which is right by Heber City. It's beautiful up there! This last time we took four wheelers and drove around the mountains a bunch.
Other than working and having fun little trips we've mostly just been hanging out with family a bunch this summer. Jeff's family constantly has things going on it seems.....softball games every week, birthday parties, bridal showers, our new nephew being born, Jeff's brother, wife, and three kids from Virginia visited, my sister-in-law's wedding....etc. It's been a pretty full summer!
School starts on Monday and I'm actually really excited! It's exciting because this semester I'm taking almost all education classes.
I start a new job on Wednesday! I'm working at the special ed. preschool for Ogden School District. I'm going to be in a class of mostly autistic kids. The instructor said there is usually about 15 kids per class. It's going to be the teacher, me, and two other staff assistants....and when you look at it that way it's going to be a pretty hectic class! I'm super excited though. I've never really worked with kids this age before (3-5 year olds). And I've definitely never worked with autistic kids this age either. I was a special ed. tutor at an elementary school and high school...and I love kids with disabilities, but these little preschoolers are going to basically be babies still! It'll be a cool experience, I think.
Well, that's really all I have to say for now. I guess I'll probably write again by Christmas, ha ha! Life is good. Life is excellent.
"Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility."
-President Thomas S. Monson
I figured I would snag this moment to write since my worn out husband is sleeping and I literally have nothing to do except for the big list of things to do on the fridge! (ha!)
Yes, I haven't written since April. It's been a crazy summer!
My first summer married!
It's been really nice actually. Jeff and I have spent tons of time together because we both worked full time at the same time during the day so we had all afternoons, nights, and weekends available to do wonderful things!
I've learned a lot this summer it seems like. I've learned about myself and Jeff and others.....I don't think I'll ever stop observing people....they fascinate me too much.
Through all of this observing I've concluded that I don't understand people. Ha ha ha ha ha! Like flat out....Jeff and I have had many conversations trying to figure people out and flat out, man, I got nothin'.
It's just interesting that you (yes, you) live your life in your little sphere called 'yourself' and you think your thoughts....you dream your dreams....you judge the judged....and YOU think it's totally cool.
Then you look at how other people are judging, dreaming, thinking....and it's like..."say what?" How could those judgements, dreams, and thoughts possibly be normal? How could they possibly be what another human being would be doing?
(I don't feel this way about ALL people.....just some specific people who have boggled my mind... :) )
My best guess answer to these questions is....agency.
I had a friend ask me about agency one time. He's not LDS and wanted to know how we could be free agents and still be lead by God or still have God's influence in our lives. I think agency is such a beautiful thing and you can really only understand it when you are close to the spirit. The beauty and simplicity of it is explained through the Holy Ghost.
I've learned a lot about agency this summer. I've learned that you can't make people think what you think no matter how hard you believe it. It's kind of like Heavenly Father's plan for us. He gave us agency because He loves us so much and didn't want to say...'here, this is what you should believe because I think it's the best'. It's like I said with the dreaming, thinking, and judging thing....God does all those things in His perfect way and then you look at His children (all of us) and we are TOTALLY not the normal ones when it comes to dreaming, thinking, and judging.
But that's how it's supposed to be isn't it? We are all supposed to be different. If we weren't there wouldn't be a need for forgiveness....there wouldn't need to be a Savior....or the Atonement.
I'm grateful that Heavenly Father made us different just so I could learn to be patient with other people.
Another thing I have learned this summer is that I'm extremely grateful for my family.
My family: Jeff.
I KNOW Heavenly Father wanted me to marry Jeff, because in this world of people who are SO different from me....he is the least different of any guy that I could have ever dreamed of meeting. He and I think so much alike that it makes making decisions easy, it makes living together easy, it makes so many things easy.
Anyways, enough of my babbling....
(I love Jeff)
This summer has had lots of fun things going on!
We were previously living in the basement of this 4-plex, but now we live in the upstairs which has a lot more space and will be good so we can stay here till we both graduate from Weber. (which, since Jeff is getting a Masters won't be for like....4 years, probably!)
I played my harp at my first wedding this summer! I had played for lots of smaller events/parties before, but never a wedding so that was fun. I also played at church and everyone was all impressed (psh...little do they know...ha ha :) )
Jeff and I both got callings this summer. Jeff is the Gospel Doctrine instructor. There are actually two Gospel Doctrine classes in our ward (it's a big ward). Mostly newlyweds go to one....and mostly nearly deads go to the one that Jeff teaches! Ha ha ha! Bless him.....
There is this blind family in our ward that are really cool. Actually, only the dad and one daughter are blind, but they are neat. The dad is one of the stake patriarchs and as one of the bishopbric members said to us "it's neat, because it's like he has a different kind of vision!" Ha ha ha! We love our bishopbric....they are kind of corny, and it's hilarious.
I was called as one of the primary choristers! I trade off with this young married guy every other week. It's been really fun so far....there are tons of kids in our ward. We have about 15 four year olds and 10 three year olds, so it's kind of crazy! I always tell them to sing LOUD, but not SCREAM...and they still have a hard time with that one....
It's amazing though how kids can learn hard songs like Praise to the Man. Those little 4 year olds belt that song out like they are in Motab or something.
Jeff's sister got married last week and her and Alex are moving into the basement apartment where we lived! It'll be fun having them live here, especially since they are family and we don't have to deal with strangers (our old upstairs neighbors were not very friendly, ha ha).
We've had some weird drama with the apartment situation in the past month or so, ha ha ha. It's mostly just funny. Jeff and I have been the only ones living in the 4-plex for the past month and a half, so we were given the job by our landlord (who says "Jeff is the boss of the 4-plex now") to find new people to live here.
So one day we had a couple coming over to look at the two apartments that were empty and about an hour before they came over the lady that used to live in the other upstairs apartment was over there cleaning. Jeff went over and asked if we could show the apartment to some friends of ours and she kind of freaked out, ha ha. I guess the apartment that they moved to had black mold and was making her deathly ill and when our friends came over to see the apartment she met them before we could and told them that they were moving back in and they couldn't see the apartment, ha ha!
Jeff and I were like.....whoa...?
So even though her husband works in Provo now, and their new apartment does NOT have black mold, they are moving back in because they love this place so much. Good luck on that commute!
It's kind of awkward though cause we haven't really been watering their garden that they gave to us.......and after that whole "you can't see our apartment" episode....it's just gonna be a little weird. Ha ha ha!
Jeff took me to Bear Lake as a surprise one weekend this summer! It was super fun! We just went up and stayed overnight and got yummy raspberry shakes! (that's like the only reason to go to Bear Lake...) It was a fun little trip!
Jeff's family shares a cabin with his extended family and we have gone up to it twice this summer....once in May and once at the end of July. We love going up to the cabin! It's up in Midway which is right by Heber City. It's beautiful up there! This last time we took four wheelers and drove around the mountains a bunch.
Other than working and having fun little trips we've mostly just been hanging out with family a bunch this summer. Jeff's family constantly has things going on it seems.....softball games every week, birthday parties, bridal showers, our new nephew being born, Jeff's brother, wife, and three kids from Virginia visited, my sister-in-law's wedding....etc. It's been a pretty full summer!
School starts on Monday and I'm actually really excited! It's exciting because this semester I'm taking almost all education classes.
I start a new job on Wednesday! I'm working at the special ed. preschool for Ogden School District. I'm going to be in a class of mostly autistic kids. The instructor said there is usually about 15 kids per class. It's going to be the teacher, me, and two other staff assistants....and when you look at it that way it's going to be a pretty hectic class! I'm super excited though. I've never really worked with kids this age before (3-5 year olds). And I've definitely never worked with autistic kids this age either. I was a special ed. tutor at an elementary school and high school...and I love kids with disabilities, but these little preschoolers are going to basically be babies still! It'll be a cool experience, I think.
Well, that's really all I have to say for now. I guess I'll probably write again by Christmas, ha ha! Life is good. Life is excellent.
"Face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility."
-President Thomas S. Monson
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Past Month!
k, yeah, it's been FOREVER since I've blogged.....but I have a good excuses! Getting married, organizing an apartment, getting settled into this new life, and not really having internet are all good excuses, right? Ha ha :)
Plus, since I'm a broken record, I'll just say again that this blog is technically for my kids and grandkids, so really....I'm not behind at all!
I've been married for a little over a month now! A month and a couple of days, actually. It's wonderful! You always hear people say how great it is to be married and when you're NOT married you're like....'seriously....shut up, people, you're not helping my self esteem at all'...so...sorry unmarried people...but really...it is very wonderful!
We got married on March 26th, the day was beautiful and it only started raining during our reception which was inside anyways. We got married in the Ogden Temple which was great! I love the temple workers there. All of the people that we love the most came to our sealing (minus our unendowed siblings of course...). We had our luncheon at Maddox, which was amazing! Mmmm! Our reception was at the Weber Alumni Center. It was so cute! I loved it. I loved all of the decorations. I loved greeting all of the people who came. It makes you realize how loved you are when you experience things like that.
Jeff and I just kept saying over and over that the day really couldn't have been more perfect. Everything went exactly how it was supposed to and it was all precisely what we wanted. Everything from the harpist, to the video, to the ice cream we catered, even where we ended up standing in line....it was just all perfect.
We went on our honeymoon to San Diego which was WAY fun! Jeff is so good to me. It was the best! St. George is one of my favorite temples (I'm sure you know that if you stalk my blog), so we went to that temple on the way down. We also went to the San Diego temple which is breath takingly beautiful. We went to the beach almost every night for the sunset, we went to Sea World, Old Town San Diego, etc. So much fun!
I'm EXTREMELY grateful for eternal families. Since my parents are divorced my view on eternal families is kind of.....skewed? Or at least it was, I suppose. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW I'm going to be with both of my parents and siblings for eternity, but still with the divorced part it's just different.
Since Jeff and I got married my testimony on eternal marriage has strengthened ten fold. I'm SO grateful that we were able to be married in the temple.
Jeff and I go to the temple every week and obviously I'm not going to go crazy talking about the endowment part of the temple on this blog because it's much too sacred for that, but it really has changed my life.
We went and did sealings last Saturday and it was really cool! It's cool being a proxy for someone that's getting sealed to their parents or being a proxy for a wife in a couple. I don't think people realize the incredible blessings that come with being sealed. It definitely is really sad that all of the non-members in the world don't understand it and might never have that opportunity.
I really can't imagine not being with Jeff for forever.
I've also been thinking a lot about the Family: A Proclaimation to the World lately. There is SOOO much confusion in the world with people concerning marriage. Whether it's gay marriage or no marriage at all....I just wish people understood the proclaimation better...or even at all since I'm sure non-members don't even know about it.
I'm really grateful that the First Presidency has asked every family to have it hanging in their home in a prominent place where everyone can see it, because it's so essential and good!
I just feel like if everyone understood that better the world would be better!
I loved Elder Scott's talk this last Conference on marriage. He talked about his wife and how when she was alive she ALWAYS exemplified and magnified the grace and splendor of her womanhood. I'm sure he said it a lot more eloquent than that....but it was something along those lines.
I'm truly grateful that I am a woman and everything that comes with that. I'm grateful that I am a wife, that I will be a mother, and that I have all of the responsibilities that come with those two roles.
Anyways, those are just things that have been on my mind lately!
I'm allll registered for classes in the fall. Weber is kind of.......(*cough*) lame....and I'm way behind right now. I still have three more years till I graduate. I could probably, maybe explain why that is, but it's a really boring explanation, so I won't, ha ha!
I'm really excited for all of my classes though! They are all education type classes so it'll be wonderful!
Other than that Jeff and I are just working all the live long summer. We both work 40hours a week...at the exact same time during the day so that's definitely a blessing!
I know that Heavenly Father has blessed me with jobs lately, because before we were married I was working three jobs! They all kind of just happened and served their purpose while I had them, and it was really nice because all three of my bosses were way nice to me when I quit.
It's really amazing to see how God blesses us in small ways like that. To most people that would be a small thing, but to me it was a huge blessing.
So now I'm down to one job, I get a ton more sleep which is great, Jeff and I are boring now since we're married, and I want to buy a bike this summer and go on many many rides!
I'm kind of scared for school to start cause it's going to be crazy with Jeff and I both going to school full time (15-18 credits) and both of us working 20 to 30 hours a week. We definitely won't see each other as much, but I guess that's why it has worked out that we have the exact same schedules right now.
Well, I can't really promise that I'll blog in the near future because A. I'm boring and married now. Seriously the most exciting thing that happens is our parents invite us over for dinner or we watch a funny episode of Psych. And B. Because our internet is severely lacking in awesomeness so.....eh?
If something really cool happens, I will surely write though! :)
Plus, since I'm a broken record, I'll just say again that this blog is technically for my kids and grandkids, so really....I'm not behind at all!
I've been married for a little over a month now! A month and a couple of days, actually. It's wonderful! You always hear people say how great it is to be married and when you're NOT married you're like....'seriously....shut up, people, you're not helping my self esteem at all'...so...sorry unmarried people...but really...it is very wonderful!
We got married on March 26th, the day was beautiful and it only started raining during our reception which was inside anyways. We got married in the Ogden Temple which was great! I love the temple workers there. All of the people that we love the most came to our sealing (minus our unendowed siblings of course...). We had our luncheon at Maddox, which was amazing! Mmmm! Our reception was at the Weber Alumni Center. It was so cute! I loved it. I loved all of the decorations. I loved greeting all of the people who came. It makes you realize how loved you are when you experience things like that.
Jeff and I just kept saying over and over that the day really couldn't have been more perfect. Everything went exactly how it was supposed to and it was all precisely what we wanted. Everything from the harpist, to the video, to the ice cream we catered, even where we ended up standing in line....it was just all perfect.
We went on our honeymoon to San Diego which was WAY fun! Jeff is so good to me. It was the best! St. George is one of my favorite temples (I'm sure you know that if you stalk my blog), so we went to that temple on the way down. We also went to the San Diego temple which is breath takingly beautiful. We went to the beach almost every night for the sunset, we went to Sea World, Old Town San Diego, etc. So much fun!
I'm EXTREMELY grateful for eternal families. Since my parents are divorced my view on eternal families is kind of.....skewed? Or at least it was, I suppose. Don't get me wrong, I KNOW I'm going to be with both of my parents and siblings for eternity, but still with the divorced part it's just different.
Since Jeff and I got married my testimony on eternal marriage has strengthened ten fold. I'm SO grateful that we were able to be married in the temple.
Jeff and I go to the temple every week and obviously I'm not going to go crazy talking about the endowment part of the temple on this blog because it's much too sacred for that, but it really has changed my life.
We went and did sealings last Saturday and it was really cool! It's cool being a proxy for someone that's getting sealed to their parents or being a proxy for a wife in a couple. I don't think people realize the incredible blessings that come with being sealed. It definitely is really sad that all of the non-members in the world don't understand it and might never have that opportunity.
I really can't imagine not being with Jeff for forever.
I've also been thinking a lot about the Family: A Proclaimation to the World lately. There is SOOO much confusion in the world with people concerning marriage. Whether it's gay marriage or no marriage at all....I just wish people understood the proclaimation better...or even at all since I'm sure non-members don't even know about it.
I'm really grateful that the First Presidency has asked every family to have it hanging in their home in a prominent place where everyone can see it, because it's so essential and good!
I just feel like if everyone understood that better the world would be better!
I loved Elder Scott's talk this last Conference on marriage. He talked about his wife and how when she was alive she ALWAYS exemplified and magnified the grace and splendor of her womanhood. I'm sure he said it a lot more eloquent than that....but it was something along those lines.
I'm truly grateful that I am a woman and everything that comes with that. I'm grateful that I am a wife, that I will be a mother, and that I have all of the responsibilities that come with those two roles.
Anyways, those are just things that have been on my mind lately!
I'm allll registered for classes in the fall. Weber is kind of.......(*cough*) lame....and I'm way behind right now. I still have three more years till I graduate. I could probably, maybe explain why that is, but it's a really boring explanation, so I won't, ha ha!
I'm really excited for all of my classes though! They are all education type classes so it'll be wonderful!
Other than that Jeff and I are just working all the live long summer. We both work 40hours a week...at the exact same time during the day so that's definitely a blessing!
I know that Heavenly Father has blessed me with jobs lately, because before we were married I was working three jobs! They all kind of just happened and served their purpose while I had them, and it was really nice because all three of my bosses were way nice to me when I quit.
It's really amazing to see how God blesses us in small ways like that. To most people that would be a small thing, but to me it was a huge blessing.
So now I'm down to one job, I get a ton more sleep which is great, Jeff and I are boring now since we're married, and I want to buy a bike this summer and go on many many rides!
I'm kind of scared for school to start cause it's going to be crazy with Jeff and I both going to school full time (15-18 credits) and both of us working 20 to 30 hours a week. We definitely won't see each other as much, but I guess that's why it has worked out that we have the exact same schedules right now.
Well, I can't really promise that I'll blog in the near future because A. I'm boring and married now. Seriously the most exciting thing that happens is our parents invite us over for dinner or we watch a funny episode of Psych. And B. Because our internet is severely lacking in awesomeness so.....eh?
If something really cool happens, I will surely write though! :)
Monday, January 10, 2011
Proposal!
Wow, weird, two posts from me in the same month?? This is abnormal! Ha ha!
I figured I should blog because.... I'm engaged!!!!! :) And I should probably document this story for my future posterity and/or whoever wants to read it!
Sigh....well, first off I have to say that I'm really pathetic. Here is why...
Jeff and I have been dating for 6 months and for the past...oh I don't know...2 months of that I've been going CrrrrAAAAzy wanting to be engaged! Our friends Clint and Tina got engaged about 2 months ago and just....well....yeah. Jealousy started to rage!
That really shouldn't come as news to any of my close friends because I'm pretty sure I made them aware of it everyday for the past... to them what probably seems forever. :) You girls know who you are....and I thank you for being patient with me!
The problem was, Jeff and I wanted to get married in March or April and we really didn't want to have a long engagement, hence, why we had to wait. Amongst all of the waiting I got most of the wedding planned already... yes...pathetic...and Jeff has been so patient with me to have never ending conversations about our wedding before we were even engaged! That's one of the reasons I love him...he's always very supportive of my maddness.
Alright, on to the actual story. I hardly ever get surprised about things and because I constantly had been asking Jeff day to day if he had the ring yet (and his face can't lie to me) I was almost certain that the proposal would not be a surprise. I really wanted it to be though and so did Jeff.
I kind of think he worked up the momentum to lie to me because on Friday (the night that he went and picked up the ring before he came to my house) he said..."the ring place is being dumb and I won't get it for another week and a half probably". I was pretty bummed, but at this point didn't really care because it was coming so what else mattered?
Then on Saturday we had planned on going to Provo to do baptisms at the Provo Temple because that was the only temple I hadn't done baptisms in in Utah. Now...you kind of have to understand this...I LOVE temples. The people that read my blog regularly know how often I go to the temple, and really, anything that has to do with temples gets me excited! So just the fact that I hadn't been to this one and it was the LAST one I needed to go to....I was pretty excited!!
The whole day I couldn't stop smiling because I was so excited to go!
So Jeff came and picked me up and said that he wanted to go to Tucanos for lunch. Tucanos is this really REALLY excellent expensive steak...meat...good food/mostly meat restaurant. (I'm really good at explaining things, huh? Ha ha) I had only been there one other time with his family so I was like....wooo yeah! (my day was getting more and more excellent if you can't tell)
We went and had a wonderful romantic lunch (can lunch be romantic?) and ate more meat than I even want to think of right now....then we were off to Provo!
We drove down and when we got there we ended up staying for about 2 1/2 hours. There were SO many people! For some reason I like being in temples for that long though. The temple is the one place that I feel like I can be the most patient. "Without patience we can not please God." -President Uchtdorf
After we got out and I took 12 million (more or less) pictures on my phone of the temple (even though it pretty much looks the same as Ogden) we hurried back to his truck because it was freezing and started on our way.
We had planned that we were going to read each others patriarchal blessings, but it was way too cold outside and we didn't have many options for places to go so we took a drive up Provo Canyon and found a little hill that we could sit on and read them.
Tangent: While I was in the temple I was thinking to myself.....man, this would have been the PERFECT day to get engaged. Since I love the temple, we were reading our blessings, being together all day and having a fabulous lunch...I kept telling myself it was the perfect day. I was even mentally planning on complaining to Jeff about it when he dropped me off that night...obviously not blaming him, but blaming the dang ring place! Ha ha!
Back to the story....warning....most, if not all of the juicy details may be taken out because this part is rather personal! Ha ha!
We read his blessing and I cried through most of it...even though he doesn't want to admit it...he cried too.
After we were done reading it, Jeff said a whole bunch of cute stuff about the future (and I cried more) and then he said "wait though...I have to do this right". He smiled at me and I INSTANTLY started freaking out...."what?? What are you doing?!?"
He got out of the car and came around to my door...opened it and got down on one knee...he said a whole bunch of more cute stuff and I think I probably said "yes!!!" a couple of times before he was even done talking, ha ha ha!
In the end, I got my perfect proposal.
I'm very grateful to my Heavenly Father for how this has all worked out. I truly do believe that we are meant to be with the people that come into our lives and even though we ourselves aren't perfect...I feel like Jeff is perfect for ME and he keeps telling me that I'm perfect for him.
I can't imagine spending my life without him or really with anyone else. I love him.
In the year that I was going to SUU I met this really cute couple that was getting married and our other friend asked them if they believe in "soul mates". They answered that they didn't really believe in everyone elses definition of soul mate, but in a sense we can become each others soul mates once we find someone that we love enough to marry. I agree with that!
I know that Heavenly Father has positioned my life to meet Jeff and to fall in love with him. The past couple of months have all fallen into place just like they should have and I'm hoping I can say the same about the upcoming months (2 1/2 months) till the wedding!
I also know that Heavenly Father has had a hand in our relationship because of how the temple part of our wedding is working out. As was mentioned before....I love temples. I contemplated getting sealed in the Bountiful Temple because it's more photogenic in MOST peoples opinions, or even the Salt Lake Temple because really it's probably the most photogenic of all the temples......but for some reason I kept coming back to the Ogden Temple and I knew that was the one.
Even since high school I've loved the Ogden Temple. It's the place where I truly grew to love temple work and to love my Savior. I've been to that one the most and it just feels like home to me.
I was really nervous because there were TONS of rumors that they were closing it at the beginning of January.
The Church announced about a year ago that they are doing a 2 year remodel on the Ogden Temple...pretty much redoing the outside completely. I wasn't ready to get married in January and I obviously wanted to be married before the new one would have been open, so I was quite nervous.
Jeff and I decided on March 26th and about a week or so later the Church announced that the Ogden Temple would close for renovation on April 1st. It seemed like a miracle to me.....and I know that I'm meant to get married in that temple. :)
73 days away!
I figured I should blog because.... I'm engaged!!!!! :) And I should probably document this story for my future posterity and/or whoever wants to read it!
Sigh....well, first off I have to say that I'm really pathetic. Here is why...
Jeff and I have been dating for 6 months and for the past...oh I don't know...2 months of that I've been going CrrrrAAAAzy wanting to be engaged! Our friends Clint and Tina got engaged about 2 months ago and just....well....yeah. Jealousy started to rage!
That really shouldn't come as news to any of my close friends because I'm pretty sure I made them aware of it everyday for the past... to them what probably seems forever. :) You girls know who you are....and I thank you for being patient with me!
The problem was, Jeff and I wanted to get married in March or April and we really didn't want to have a long engagement, hence, why we had to wait. Amongst all of the waiting I got most of the wedding planned already... yes...pathetic...and Jeff has been so patient with me to have never ending conversations about our wedding before we were even engaged! That's one of the reasons I love him...he's always very supportive of my maddness.
Alright, on to the actual story. I hardly ever get surprised about things and because I constantly had been asking Jeff day to day if he had the ring yet (and his face can't lie to me) I was almost certain that the proposal would not be a surprise. I really wanted it to be though and so did Jeff.
I kind of think he worked up the momentum to lie to me because on Friday (the night that he went and picked up the ring before he came to my house) he said..."the ring place is being dumb and I won't get it for another week and a half probably". I was pretty bummed, but at this point didn't really care because it was coming so what else mattered?
Then on Saturday we had planned on going to Provo to do baptisms at the Provo Temple because that was the only temple I hadn't done baptisms in in Utah. Now...you kind of have to understand this...I LOVE temples. The people that read my blog regularly know how often I go to the temple, and really, anything that has to do with temples gets me excited! So just the fact that I hadn't been to this one and it was the LAST one I needed to go to....I was pretty excited!!
The whole day I couldn't stop smiling because I was so excited to go!
So Jeff came and picked me up and said that he wanted to go to Tucanos for lunch. Tucanos is this really REALLY excellent expensive steak...meat...good food/mostly meat restaurant. (I'm really good at explaining things, huh? Ha ha) I had only been there one other time with his family so I was like....wooo yeah! (my day was getting more and more excellent if you can't tell)
We went and had a wonderful romantic lunch (can lunch be romantic?) and ate more meat than I even want to think of right now....then we were off to Provo!
We drove down and when we got there we ended up staying for about 2 1/2 hours. There were SO many people! For some reason I like being in temples for that long though. The temple is the one place that I feel like I can be the most patient. "Without patience we can not please God." -President Uchtdorf
After we got out and I took 12 million (more or less) pictures on my phone of the temple (even though it pretty much looks the same as Ogden) we hurried back to his truck because it was freezing and started on our way.
We had planned that we were going to read each others patriarchal blessings, but it was way too cold outside and we didn't have many options for places to go so we took a drive up Provo Canyon and found a little hill that we could sit on and read them.
Tangent: While I was in the temple I was thinking to myself.....man, this would have been the PERFECT day to get engaged. Since I love the temple, we were reading our blessings, being together all day and having a fabulous lunch...I kept telling myself it was the perfect day. I was even mentally planning on complaining to Jeff about it when he dropped me off that night...obviously not blaming him, but blaming the dang ring place! Ha ha!
Back to the story....warning....most, if not all of the juicy details may be taken out because this part is rather personal! Ha ha!
We read his blessing and I cried through most of it...even though he doesn't want to admit it...he cried too.
After we were done reading it, Jeff said a whole bunch of cute stuff about the future (and I cried more) and then he said "wait though...I have to do this right". He smiled at me and I INSTANTLY started freaking out...."what?? What are you doing?!?"
He got out of the car and came around to my door...opened it and got down on one knee...he said a whole bunch of more cute stuff and I think I probably said "yes!!!" a couple of times before he was even done talking, ha ha ha!
In the end, I got my perfect proposal.
I'm very grateful to my Heavenly Father for how this has all worked out. I truly do believe that we are meant to be with the people that come into our lives and even though we ourselves aren't perfect...I feel like Jeff is perfect for ME and he keeps telling me that I'm perfect for him.
I can't imagine spending my life without him or really with anyone else. I love him.
In the year that I was going to SUU I met this really cute couple that was getting married and our other friend asked them if they believe in "soul mates". They answered that they didn't really believe in everyone elses definition of soul mate, but in a sense we can become each others soul mates once we find someone that we love enough to marry. I agree with that!
I know that Heavenly Father has positioned my life to meet Jeff and to fall in love with him. The past couple of months have all fallen into place just like they should have and I'm hoping I can say the same about the upcoming months (2 1/2 months) till the wedding!
I also know that Heavenly Father has had a hand in our relationship because of how the temple part of our wedding is working out. As was mentioned before....I love temples. I contemplated getting sealed in the Bountiful Temple because it's more photogenic in MOST peoples opinions, or even the Salt Lake Temple because really it's probably the most photogenic of all the temples......but for some reason I kept coming back to the Ogden Temple and I knew that was the one.
Even since high school I've loved the Ogden Temple. It's the place where I truly grew to love temple work and to love my Savior. I've been to that one the most and it just feels like home to me.
I was really nervous because there were TONS of rumors that they were closing it at the beginning of January.
The Church announced about a year ago that they are doing a 2 year remodel on the Ogden Temple...pretty much redoing the outside completely. I wasn't ready to get married in January and I obviously wanted to be married before the new one would have been open, so I was quite nervous.
Jeff and I decided on March 26th and about a week or so later the Church announced that the Ogden Temple would close for renovation on April 1st. It seemed like a miracle to me.....and I know that I'm meant to get married in that temple. :)
73 days away!
Sunday, January 2, 2011
3 Years
A couple of months ago when Jeff's family was trying to figure me out and get to know me one of his brother's read my blog! Ha ha! This was back when Facebook looked a little different and the link to my blog was a lot more readily available! His brother told him that he thought I wrote my blog like it was my journal and well....the truth is (besides the fact that this blog doesn't nearly go as deep as what I would write in an actual journal) that's true! This blog wasn't ever really meant for people to read. I mostly just write it for myself, but when I started writing it I had enough friends that wanted to read it too so I kept it open!
That being said...a journal is a journal and therefore this blog may contain secrets that the outside world shouldn't know. (that's mostly an exaggeration, ha ha)
I've officially gone to the temple every week for three years now.
Whoa.
:) Ha ha!
Do I feel accomplished?? Yeeees. However, in a sense I feel like I have so much more to learn now, rather than thinking I'm all knowing of the Gospel since I did that.
I truly have learned that no matter how many times you go to the temple there is always more and more to learn. Because of the temple I can really see that I have so much to improve on.
I've learned so much about myself and I'm grateful for that. Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and recently I've learned that it's good to recognize those weaknesses, but then you just need to let them go. You're never going to get away from something if you don't loosen your grasp.
I've been dating Jeff for about 5 1/2 months now and I've learned many things, but one thing I've learned is that you can't hold on to the past. Jeff is so sweet and has accepted me despite all of my weirdness. I feel like second to my Savior he really does understand me better than anyone I've ever known.
Jeff and I are going to get married in a couple of months and in all honesty, I'm kind of worried about my temple attendance once that happens. Trust me....it's not that he'll pull me away from the temple....if anything he'll bring me closer to it, but I've just noticed while he and I have been dating that life is so much more busy when you are scheduling around two lives.
I know that once we are married, our lives week to week we might run out of time to do stuff and we'll justify that going to the temple can wait till next week. Endowments take longer to do than baptisms so I can see that being a justification too.
People might think....well, you've gone every week for three years so shouldn't it be easier by now??
I guess you'd think that, but just because I've gone so much for that amount of time doesn't mean I'm perfect, ya know?
You think about King David and how incredibly righteous he was. He was such an amazing guy and he just let one moment in his tiny bit of existence completely turn him around.
I obviously don't plan on being like King David, because that's a pretty dramatic example, but as long as we're on this earth we are going to be tempted by Satan.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm really excited to get endowed! I've been waiting for it for so long, it seems. These past, I dunno, 8 years that I've been doing baptisms have been great and in a lot of ways have been the thing that has shaped my testimony the most (especially the past 3 years), but I can't help but feel that it's time to move on in a sense.
Doing baptisms is a huge blessing for the people that you're doing the work for. That's really all the temple is, is one huge blessing, but when you get your endowments taken out and get sealed to your eternal companion....that's totally all for YOU.
The main thing I love about doing baptisms is thinking of the twenty or so sisters that I'm performing the ordinance for and thinking about how they can progress after I am their proxy. With my endowment and sealing....it's all for me! And that's exciting to me! I feel like it's going to bring me closer to God and closer to the plan that He has for me.
I know that Heavenly Father put Jeff in my life for a reason. I don't really believe in destiny....or soul mates....or things like that....but I do believe that God knew Jeff and I needed each other. I know that He knew he was perfect for me. I wish every person could feel that way about another person.....love someone so much you can't imagine not being with them for eternity.
I think for most of the world "eternity" is a really scary concept. That's why so many people resort to things that make them instantly happy or bring immediate gratification because they are afraid of thinking about things long term and thinking about "eternity". Since so many people don't even believe in God I'm sure eternity doesn't cross their minds that much anyways.
I've come to realize though that an eternal relationship like the one Jeff and I are going to have takes a lot of patience and time to grow. That's why I'm really glad that he made sure we were friends first before we started dating.
"The real life we're preparing for is eternal life. Secular knowledge has for us eternal significance. Our conviction is that God, our Heavenly Father, wants us to live the life that He does. All we can learn that is true while we are in this life will rise with us in the Resurrection. And all that we can learn will enhance our capacity to serve."
-President Henry B. Eyring
I'm really looking forward to getting my endowments and being sealed! I truly am so blessed. The thought of being with Jeff for eternity brings me so much peace. I love him. Truly.
I feel like this transition of moving from baptisms to endowments will be a good change. For the longest time I was dreading it because I LOVE doing baptisms, but I've finally gotten to the point where I'm just so excited to move forward that it's good now!
I still have about 3 more months doing baptisms and then hopefully Jeff will take me to the temple every week after that! I'm crossing my fingers.... :)
That being said...a journal is a journal and therefore this blog may contain secrets that the outside world shouldn't know. (that's mostly an exaggeration, ha ha)
I've officially gone to the temple every week for three years now.
Whoa.
:) Ha ha!
Do I feel accomplished?? Yeeees. However, in a sense I feel like I have so much more to learn now, rather than thinking I'm all knowing of the Gospel since I did that.
I truly have learned that no matter how many times you go to the temple there is always more and more to learn. Because of the temple I can really see that I have so much to improve on.
I've learned so much about myself and I'm grateful for that. Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and recently I've learned that it's good to recognize those weaknesses, but then you just need to let them go. You're never going to get away from something if you don't loosen your grasp.
I've been dating Jeff for about 5 1/2 months now and I've learned many things, but one thing I've learned is that you can't hold on to the past. Jeff is so sweet and has accepted me despite all of my weirdness. I feel like second to my Savior he really does understand me better than anyone I've ever known.
Jeff and I are going to get married in a couple of months and in all honesty, I'm kind of worried about my temple attendance once that happens. Trust me....it's not that he'll pull me away from the temple....if anything he'll bring me closer to it, but I've just noticed while he and I have been dating that life is so much more busy when you are scheduling around two lives.
I know that once we are married, our lives week to week we might run out of time to do stuff and we'll justify that going to the temple can wait till next week. Endowments take longer to do than baptisms so I can see that being a justification too.
People might think....well, you've gone every week for three years so shouldn't it be easier by now??
I guess you'd think that, but just because I've gone so much for that amount of time doesn't mean I'm perfect, ya know?
You think about King David and how incredibly righteous he was. He was such an amazing guy and he just let one moment in his tiny bit of existence completely turn him around.
I obviously don't plan on being like King David, because that's a pretty dramatic example, but as long as we're on this earth we are going to be tempted by Satan.
Don't get me wrong though, I'm really excited to get endowed! I've been waiting for it for so long, it seems. These past, I dunno, 8 years that I've been doing baptisms have been great and in a lot of ways have been the thing that has shaped my testimony the most (especially the past 3 years), but I can't help but feel that it's time to move on in a sense.
Doing baptisms is a huge blessing for the people that you're doing the work for. That's really all the temple is, is one huge blessing, but when you get your endowments taken out and get sealed to your eternal companion....that's totally all for YOU.
The main thing I love about doing baptisms is thinking of the twenty or so sisters that I'm performing the ordinance for and thinking about how they can progress after I am their proxy. With my endowment and sealing....it's all for me! And that's exciting to me! I feel like it's going to bring me closer to God and closer to the plan that He has for me.
I know that Heavenly Father put Jeff in my life for a reason. I don't really believe in destiny....or soul mates....or things like that....but I do believe that God knew Jeff and I needed each other. I know that He knew he was perfect for me. I wish every person could feel that way about another person.....love someone so much you can't imagine not being with them for eternity.
I think for most of the world "eternity" is a really scary concept. That's why so many people resort to things that make them instantly happy or bring immediate gratification because they are afraid of thinking about things long term and thinking about "eternity". Since so many people don't even believe in God I'm sure eternity doesn't cross their minds that much anyways.
I've come to realize though that an eternal relationship like the one Jeff and I are going to have takes a lot of patience and time to grow. That's why I'm really glad that he made sure we were friends first before we started dating.
"The real life we're preparing for is eternal life. Secular knowledge has for us eternal significance. Our conviction is that God, our Heavenly Father, wants us to live the life that He does. All we can learn that is true while we are in this life will rise with us in the Resurrection. And all that we can learn will enhance our capacity to serve."
-President Henry B. Eyring
I'm really looking forward to getting my endowments and being sealed! I truly am so blessed. The thought of being with Jeff for eternity brings me so much peace. I love him. Truly.
I feel like this transition of moving from baptisms to endowments will be a good change. For the longest time I was dreading it because I LOVE doing baptisms, but I've finally gotten to the point where I'm just so excited to move forward that it's good now!
I still have about 3 more months doing baptisms and then hopefully Jeff will take me to the temple every week after that! I'm crossing my fingers.... :)
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