2013

It's the last day of 2013!

What an incredible year. It's definitely been one of the biggest, if not THE biggest year of growth for me.

2013 was not without it's trials, nor was it without its joys! I definitely learned a lot this year.

January started my last semester of school. I absolutely loved it! Teaching pre-school is so rewarding. I still dream of having my own pre-school in my home someday.

One of the worst things about working with kids is you can't post all of the ADORABLE pictures you take of them during your experience with them. (Can you say lawsuit??) So this picture will have to do. Teacher Amber. Ha ha.

I had the BEST supervising teacher ever who taught me more than I could ever imagine about the great profession I chose. I was way blessed to learn from her. I want to model my future pre-school and classroom after her.

I think I've said this several times, but I can't believe how fortunate I was to be guided toward early childhood. Most of my existence I thought I'd be teaching elementary school, but when I took that faithful leap toward early childhood, I think it was one of the best things I've ever done.

Early Childhood is way more than just knowing about little kids. It's about understanding family dynamics, how to have a healthy family/life, parenting styles, how the community and environment effect everything and everyone in it. I feel very blessed that I was inspired to make that change. I feel like it's going to help me a lot in raising children and it's already helping me a ton with the work I do in the homes of the children I do therapy with.

Yay early childhood!

Anyways, January through April was nothing but student teaching! I also did "work experience" at a daycare, which was interesting. I've blogged about that before, I think.

Saying it was "interesting" is probably where I'll leave that at before I go onto my soapbox. :)

March was our two year anniversary!

We went up to Logan for a weekend getaway. Jeff and I aren't the most exciting people ever. (Is he going to roll his eyes that I just said that?) (Yes.) We just like spending time together. We don't need all of the extra thrilling stuff that people go do, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Seriously, our idea of fun is just hanging out together and relaxing. We aren't like a lot of people I see on Facebook who post about all of the exciting activities they do with their spouse, ha ha.

On a related note, one thing that I've noticed recently is the fact that I'm the kind of friend who is completely okay with going six or so months without talking to a friend and then picking up exactly where we left off. I don't think a lot of people are like that though, so I think I make some people sad by not talking to them for a long time. I never really realized that about myself till recently, though. I still consider all of my best friends from childhood up through college to be my best friends, talked to or not talked to.

That's a big thing with getting married that I think I was okay with. I didn't really feel like I needed any other friends besides Jeff after we got married.  I didn't really feel like I needed to hang out with anyone but him, and in a lot ways I think that's how it should be. I was just happy to be with him. And I still am!

Here's a picture of us eating at the Gaucho Grill up in Logan for our anniversary. Yummy stuff!

I'm so lucky I married this man! He's definitely the firm rock of sanity in our family. He tells me (nicely) when I'm being ridiculous (every day) and helps me be as happy as I can be. We laugh a lot, probably much to the annoyance of our neighbors, cause it's usually long and loud. I'm lucky to have him love me as much as he does. He's the greatest for me.

April brought graduation which was a CRAZY happy day! I think I've had few other days that were quite that happy. It's seriously the best feeling to know you're done. No more papers, no more requirements, no more responsibilities (until you get a job, ha ha).

One of the most vivid things I'll remember from that day was when my grandpa came up to me and said it made him very happy that I kept my middle name after I got married. Pretty much everything surrounding graduation had my middle name on it. My announcement, the program with all the grads names, my diploma..... Amber Margean Robertson.

Margean is my grandma's name, that's why it was special to my grandpa.

I love that man! I miss him and grandma a lot.

I had so many people support me along the way to graduation, I could never thank them all properly. Everything else about that day is kind of a big hazy, happy blur.

Moving on to growing up after graduation, that didn't really happen for another month or so. I rode this beauty...................

  

......for what I thought was going to be another summer, but only turned out being a month. Oh mow crew, the best summers were with the mow crew. Summer doesn't seem like summer unless you're outside all day (mowing grass).

But nothing can last forever, right? 

At the end of May I got my job that I currently do now! 

SO many pictures. SOOOOOOOOO many pictures I wish I could post of these wonderful autistic kids that I work with everyday, but sadly.........(lawsuit)........I can't. 

It's such a tiring job, but makes me smile and feel so fulfilled at the same time. The kids I work with are the very best. Some of them come from rock-star families, some come from heart breaking situations, but no matter what house I'm going into on any given day I always feel so blessed to work with who I do. Social services can be so draining because you put in so much emotion and want so much for the people you work with. It's also very rewarding though, because with that excess of emotion come all the good feelings of helping people. 

I've blogged a lot about my job, and still will, so I'll pretty much leave it at that. I will post some great pictures that my kids have taken of me as they've stolen my phone or iPad. 

Don't I look so lovely?

July came and brought us our California extravaganza of a vacation! I pretty much took Jeff everywhere in California that I love. Disneyland, Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks......

I have so much appreciation for these places now that I'm older. I grew up going places all over the country every year. Now that I'm an adult I can see how wonderful it was to be able to go here, there, and everywhere growing up. 

Here are a couple highlights from California..........

(Never a dull moment with my family. Oh yeah, did I mention The Chic, Mom, and Dave came for the first part of the trip?? Oh yeah, they did. Love them all, ha ha.)

 Teacups! Ha ha ha ha ha. (sorry Jeff)

 SOOO much fun!!!! I want to go back every single day. No joke.

 So breath taking!

Favorite part of the trip! (besides all of the other favorites :) )

I love showing Jeff all of things I grew up visiting. I don't think I'll ever be able to catch up and show him everything, but at least I can show him my favorites! Have I mentioned how he's the best? Ok, yeah, I have. 

The rest of summer was full of Real Salt Lake games! My dad and Teri invited me and my siblings down to a bunch of games this summer which Jeff and I loved! We kind of love soccer a lot. 

 Rimando is my favorite! He's the best.

August brought on school for Jeff and a new work schedule for me! This semester FLEW by! It went by way faster than any one I was ever in (jealous). Seriously August to December was a whirlwind. We just worked worked worked and Jeff went to school. 

My mom, sister, and I went to quite a few concerts this fall! Josh Groban and Michael Buble being the primary and most important.  

We had KILLER good seats for Josh's concert so I got a lot better pictures of him, I still thought this picture of Michael Buble was good though! They are both so incredibly talented!

We did all of the normal holiday festivities which are always fun too! 

 Halloween

 Thanksgiving at the cabin!

 Christmas on Temple Square (looking like thugs)

We have so many families that love us! We are really blessed to have so many parents that look after us and are so good to us. I couldn't ask for better parents and their spouses who have become loving parents for me too. I have the best in-laws who care so much about me and Jeff! They are the greatest. Our holidays were filled with lots of love and  happiness. 

One sad thing that happened this holiday season was my family had to put my dog Sparky down. :( He was pretty old and had almost gone blind and deaf. He couldn't really walk very well either. It was really sad, but it had to be done really for his sake. Poor doggie.

Even though I tortured that dog when he was younger (ha ha) I always would remind him that I was the one who wanted him. When I was in sixth grade I begged and begged and begged and BEGGED my dad to let me get a dog. My sister and I researched dogs on the internet and kind of had a period of time where we were obsessed with learning about dog breeds. We picked the Pembroke Welsh Corgi and ended up having the best dog ever. 

I loved that little weirdo. He was fiercely obedient and always so loving.

Sparticus Raydar Shadow Hunter. Da Vada. Da Va. Deh Veh. 

I love my doggie. 

Overall this year has taught me that God's tender mercies are everywhere and sometimes it takes a broken heart to remember that. I feel like prayer is a never ending process. Heavenly Father definitely teaches me that I need Him ALL the time, and I'm thankful for that. I'm glad I know the Gospel is true. I'm glad I have a Savior who can help me along the way! 

I grew a lot spiritually this year. Whether it was on days when I really wanted to or not, I found myself growing a lot. I found lots of peace this year amongst the hard times. I might tell this blog about the hard times someday, but today is for sure not that day. 

The year is ending on a lot of high notes though! 2013 was a great year and one I'll never take for granted.

I guess that's a summary of our year! We had a lot of fun and still continue to. I'm lucky to have a husband who would do anything for me and treats me so great. 

Happy New Year, Everyone! Like I said in my last post, I don't have any resolutions for this upcoming year, I just pretty much expect it to be fantastic. (No pressure, 2014...) 

Till next year.......... :)

Gratitude at Work

I woke up this morning with my mind kind of exploding, so I figured I'd let it explode all over my blog. This might not be a good idea, ha ha.

Today's a happy day for multiple reasons. It's Friday, that's always a wonderful thing. Even though I work on Saturdays I still consider Fridays to be the end of my week. It's the Friday before Christmas, that's a really happy thing too! It's December 20th, which I honestly can't believe and I'm very cryptically happy about that too.

What happens on December 20th? Nothing really. I don't have any significant plans today. I don't really have any plans at all. I'm going to work, I'm coming home, I'll probably eat dinner...

I guess part of my brain exploding encompassed just a lot of happiness for today.

So there's that.

I've been feeling very blessed lately which probably has a lot to do with Christmas.

In the past two weeks Jeff and I have both had our work Christmas parties and they were both really great! Starting with mine, it was at the Joseph Smith Building in Salt Lake and there were a TON of people there that I didn't know. My company is huge....it started primarily in Salt Lake so that is where the bulk of employees are, but we also have "north", "south", and "remote" regions that kids get services in. The north region is where I am. Weber and Davis counties. The south is like...Provo, Lehi, American Fork etc. And remote is everywhere else in the state....Vernal, St. George....so remote, right? Ha ha. It has a lot more cities than that, but that's all I'm going to spell out for you.

So really, I only know the people in my team.....the north people....the the CEO who works with us from Salt Lake. The north is a smaller region too so we only have like....10 employees up here.

The party was so much fun though despite me not knowing most of the people. We had great food, an awesome raffle (where I didn't win anything, but that's okay, who needs a tablet or a Go-Pro camera or a spa package or diamond earrings or...) and we did white elephant gifts which are always funny. The best part though was that the main bosses/CEOs put together a gift for everyone. They had coworkers and client's parents write about each of us and put what they said on a frame for us to keep. The picture in the middle is of a dandy lion flower, because "we never know where our influence is going to spread". It made me pretty emotional reading what my client's parents and coworkers said about me.

I have so much gratitude for the company I work for. They help SO many families, it's insane. I never want to work for another company that is less charitable to families than this one is. Even though I get paid to do what I do, I always end my day feeling like I gave some kind of service to the people I was with that day.

I'm not trying to make myself sound like a saint, it really is completely all because of the two ladies who started the company and run it today. I'm very grateful that they are giving me the chance to live my life like I am right now.

Something else that was making me really happy the other day, (I wanted to write it in a Facebook status, but it's way too long and complicated for that.....) is the fact that all of my kids....all nine of them....know my name and use it ALL the time.

I know that sounds way silly, BUT....it makes me very happy.

I've had a plethora of jobs where I've worked with kids before.....

Whether it was my art teaching job where they called me "Miss Hunter", at the autistic pre-school or my student teaching where I was "Teacher Amber", the YMCA where I was simply "Amber", to name a few.............all of those times I had plenty of kids who remembered my name. Don't get me wrong, most of the children I've worked with have remembered my name. But with this job it's on a far more deep and personal level.

I go into the homes of these children. I talk to their parents about serious things. I play with their siblings. I take care of their needs and help them one on one. I never really had that level of interaction with any of the kids at the schools I worked for. So when my little autistic kids say: "Help me, Amber!" or "Amber, did you say something?" or "Mom, Amber is here!" It just feels different to me. And it's a very happy different.

I actually go to a school for one session a month to check up on one of my cute kids, and I have to say....I do LOVE being in schools. I know why I wanted to be a teacher (and still want to be teacher) for as long as I have. I love schools.

 I've also been grateful for Jeff's job lately. We went to his work Christmas party the other night and it was fun listening to his coworkers. His work used to do big parties at the corporate office with everyone who works for them, but the past two years we've just gone out to eat with just the accounting department.

The accounting department is mostly women with one other guy that works there besides Jeff. Jeff and the other guy get teased a lot by all of the women, it's pretty funny.

It'll be interesting to see what happens with Jeff's work in the next little while. If I had it my way he'd just stay at Goldenwest for a long time. I guess I just get comfortable and like knowing where the future is going to be. That's not all that probable though. His work doesn't have a lot of room for CPA's, and since that's going to be him hopefully sooner than later, we are bound to move on to somewhere else. Jeff does enjoy working there though and his bosses know he's an extremely hard worker.

I've been thinking a lot about 2014 and if I want to make any resolutions or not. I'm not very good at resolutions. I think I do better with goals if it's something I'm 200% excited about it and if I don't have a lot of pressure to do it. For those two reasons I've never been wildly successful with New Years resolutions.

The longer I'm married the more and more I realize that living life day by day is the happiest way to be. I think I have Jeff to thank for that and for molding me into a more reasonable person. In a lot of ways I'm definitely far off from being completely reasonable, but he makes me better. I'll get there someday.

After I got married/went through the temple I had a friend tell me that my blog isn't really relevant anymore because the title says: "I'm Going There Someday....", insinuating that I'm going to the temple someday like in the primary song.

I never really meant for my blog to be about going to the temple. Obviously when I started it a couple years prior to my marriage I wanted to go to the temple someday.....but my blog has always been about where I'm going in life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I guess for that reason I've always been better at really small goals that take me gradually where I want to go. No New Years resolutions for me. :)

Right now I need to get going so I can get to work on time! Merry Christmas next week!

Entitlement Eggs

Have you ever been so tired that you want to take pictures of your messy house and post them on the internet just so people would feel bad for you??

Me neither.

Ha. Oh wait....yeah, that's been my month week.

That's weird though. Like really weird. And I'm sure people wouldn't pity me. I'd just be the weirdo that they'd click on my picture and "share in a private message" with all of their close friends so they can all laugh at me. (Because I've never done that before........cough.)

Ha ha, sorry, I'll move on. Morale of the story....I'm tired.

And by "morale" I mean "moral".

I may have lost all of my "morale" until Monday. Hooray for Fridays!

Being tired is better than being a lot of things though! Being tired means I've done something to make myself that way. For example......I could have worked really hard, partied really late, Facebook stalked when I should have been sleeping, talked to my husband for too many hours of the night.... any option besides partied late is probably what I did.

Anyways, onto something of substance.

I love my job more than any other job I could have right now, but man, it's hard work!

I mowed lawns for six summers in the heat of the day, totally wearing myself out, but I can honestly say the job I have now is far more tiring than any of that!

Lately I've been likening one part of my job to an abusive relationship. Don't get me wrong (keep reading my explanation for clarification), only one of my clients makes me feel this way. The reason it's an abusive relationship is....well....he punches me a lot, for one (it's in the job description, don't worry), but during his sessions I'm very much walking on egg shells the whole time. If I say something wrong it turns into a full blown tantrum. Chairs go flying, fists go flailing....

This kid is three years old......

....so I'm not going to actually get hurt...it just seems like it by the way I'm describing it.

Autistic children are so interesting. Seriously, they fascinate me more than anything else in this world. I could spend the rest of my life studying them and never want a different job. But, really, a big part of that is the crazy child development loving side of me.

I love working with kids like my egg shell boy, because when I DO see progress it makes me cry and I want to dance!

*and maybe I do dance*

I'm just grateful he's the only person, in my life, I have to walk on egg shells with.

I have a lot of kids that I work with who are SO happy, it's such a relief to work with them when I do. They never get angry, they are just the biggest hyper pieces of work you'll ever meet. I love working with these kids because they are usually so loving and just want you to love them back. They are also the most fun to see progress, because they are so innocent and tenderhearted that you want them to learn and grow so much.

My job is really interesting because I get to work directly with families. Watching the way parents handle their children....especially their autistic children.....is something I love analyzing.

I'm not a parent.

I don't really know what it's like. I've taken lots of classes on it, but I don't know anything of the reality of parenting. I know that someday I'll look back at my "analyzing" and think that I was too critical of most parents.

I work with some families that are, in my mind, AMAZING parents! Any parent of a child with autism is amazing for sacrificing so much, but really I work with some of the best parents I've ever seen. They are so patient and hard working. They have to deal with some of the craziest stuff.

But like most situations I also have some parents who (as my mom has so awesomely coined the phrase...) have given their children entitlement disorder.

Dealing with entitlement disorder is hard.

An abnormally HUGE part of my job is not giving in to what the child whines/cries about. I know that sounds silly, but it's true! My kids have to work for rewards, and a lot of the time they don't want to. If they want the iPad they have to do what I say. If they want candy they need to listen to me.

Easier said than done.

I've worked with children who get what they want at home, so when they are with me they scream when they aren't rewarded immediately without working. I've had some kids who have screamed, kicked, cried, and been SO mad at me for forty-five minutes straight, but I still can't give in to them.

Does that seem ridiculous? Forty-five minutes?

Yeah, that IS ridiculous, for a parent who has to deal with their child all day everyday. I understand that anybody would pull out their hair by doing that.

BUT....

But, the children that tantrum for that long are the ones who have been conditioned to get what they want by crying.

Autistic children are different in many ways and can't be lumped with typical developing children when it comes to these tantrums I'm referring to though.  It's a whole different world.

In the end, you can probably tell that I've been thinking way too hard about parenting styles and my cute autistic children lately.

Is anyone else glad it's the weekend? Me too. 

Well, that's the end to my unprofessional soapbox of the day. Unprofessional being the key word.

Even though a nap sounds glorious right now, I better go get dinner ready.........

JK, carry out pizza it is!

Happy Friday! 

Past, Present, and....

It's been pretty windy lately and with all of the loose leaves on the trees it makes for a wonderful shower when you walk outside. This is especially true in my yard, because I live in an older part of town and there are mammoth trees everywhere! It makes me want to never live in a new neighborhood.... although we probably still will someday.

Someday. Oh the future.

I've definitely been living in the past lately, because my family has been cleaning out my grandparents house. They had so many cool things that I never knew about! My grandma passed away a year ago this month, and my grandpa just over two months ago so we're getting their house cleaned out and ready to sell.

I sure do miss them. That'll never change.

They were the fun grandparents that went everywhere with us growing up.....no matter if it was Disneyland, Canada, Florida, Maryland, and the other hundred places we went.

I remember one time I was at one of those special night's for young women's and one of my teachers said to me: "Isn't it so fun that your grandma comes to things like this?" I was maybe twelve so I probably responded (mentally: "yeah, k, whatever...") in my shy way: "Oh yeah....sure, it's fun."

But then she said something to me that really stuck with me.... she told me that other grandmas aren't as involved as mine was. She said that I was really lucky that my grandma cared so much about me and wanted to see me always succeed.

I had never realized that.

I never knew that my grandma went above and beyond the call. I mean it makes sense....she was great....but still, sometimes it takes a completely impartial observer to make you realize how blessed you are.

As time went by, the more I looked at it, the more true it was. My grandma was always there. She loved us so much!

It's been fun going through their house with my mom and looking at everything they had. They had a pretty simple life, but they knew what really mattered. They loved having fun! Even though my grandma worried about everyone, it wasn't possible to see her and not hear her laughing at least 70% of the time. Most of that probably was due to my grandpa never wanting to be serious, ha ha.

I'm not writing this to make myself or anyone else sad. I really don't feel sad when I think about my grandparents. Like I said, I'll never stop missing them, but they were never sad, so why should I be?

It's interesting to think about timing. I think about timing all the time! Why does one person have to leave this earth when they do. Why did this person achieve this accomplishment when they did. Why do some people have to go through hard trials at times in their lives that seem to be the exact wrong time.

If I've learned anything from the year 2013, it's that timing is everything. It sets up everything. It changes everything. It means everything.

So in the end, timing will happen and it's just a matter of being prepared when it does.

2013 is almost over. We really only have two more months. I can't really believe it, actually. It's been the hardest year, but it's also been the best year. I've learned to live in the present, which is a REALLY big deal. 

I've always been a past and future kind of girl. The present is hard because you have to try living in it while remembering the past and simitaneously worrying about the future. Somehow, this year though, I've learned to live in the present. :)

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today's a gift - that's why they call it the present."

Let's Be Honest

There has been a lot of stuff in the news lately....

(I'm not talking about the government shut down, cause let's be honest, I know nothing about politics....) (...the other day my coworker was telling me that one of my client's moms may be "furloughed" and I was like....."uh, what's that?") (Jeff later explained it and I felt dumb) (anywho) (is that enough parenthesis for you?)

.....that has been bothering me. Lots of things about the Church and people being all angry about definitions and such.

I don't ever post my opinion of these things on Facebook, cause let's be honest (again), I don't want to open a can of worms. I have lots of friends with lots of opinions and lots of them are different than mine. This might be where some of the bother is coming from.

Well, today I was listening to a talk by Elder Ballard and he said something that gave this OVERWHELMING feeling of peace and resolution. I feel like this part of his talk gave me exactly the clarity that I needed.

Heavenly Father is so mindful of us that way. :)

"In our Heavenly Father's great priesthood-endowed plan, men have the unique responsibility to administer the priesthood, but they are not the priesthood. Men and women have different but equally valued roles. Just as a woman cannot conceive a child without a man, so a man cannot fully exercise the power of the priesthood to establish an eternal family without a woman. In other words, in the eternal perspective, both the procreative power and the priesthood power are shared by husband and wife. And as husband and wife, a man and a woman should strive to follow our Heavenly Father. The Christian virtues of love, humility, and patience should be their focus as they seek the blessings of the priesthood in their lives and for their family."

<3 br="">

Happy Stuff

Well, blog, I've done it again....

I've written a whole bunch of posts lately that haven't made it to the publish button. Am I just a wimp? Yeah. Yep. Yes, I am.

Something that I WILL post though, that I feel comfortable publishing....

All the things that have been making me happy lately!

Happiness is the best.

Happy Stuff:

-The Keith Urban station on Pandora
-My crockpot
-THIS WEATHER
-The fact that I've been seeing amazing progress in many of the kids I work with
-My husband is being a rock star and getting job offers/interviews
-The holiday season is upon us
-I NEVER have to do homework
-I've made dinner every night this week

I know I talk about Jeff a lot.....(every post, whatever).....but I really wanted to write a shout out to him. He's been so amazing to me. And he's so great at supporting us. He's always working hard to make our future as bright as it possibly can be, and make it a reality for me to be home with our family someday.

He's getting his bachelor's degree in April and his masters the following April, all the while working full-time. He's incredible! He's starting to do interviews with different accounting firms to do an internship next summer. I've been so proud of him for the different offers he's gotten! He had an interview today, which hopefully went well.

I've been really anxious to see what the future holds for us, but with all the things that have been happening it's given me a lot of peace and comfort that everything is going to work out. Everything might not always be picture perfect, but that's okay.

I'm grateful that I have such a caring husband. He certainly makes me happy and makes me feel very blessed.

Hashtag Autism

Another one of my harp strings just snapped before my eyes. Seriously? Why, harp?? Whyyyyy!?!?

That really has nothing to do with what I actually wanted to write about though. 

Since I've started my job (it's been almost four months now.....crazy how fast time goes!) I've had a million and a half people ask me:

"So what's your job?"
*explanation*
"Oh so....*insert who knows how many different questions about autism*."

I've decided I want to make a post about autism, because truthfully I LOVE my kids and I need to start being an advocate for them. They are too wonderful for me not to be.

Tons of people don't know what autism really is. It's starting to be in the news more and more. More people are starting to know someone with a kid who has autism, but people generally still don't understand it.

I've had pretty much every question you could think asked the past couple of months:

"Is it something they grow out of?"
"How disabled are they?"
"Is it really frustrating working with them?"
"Is it something you can get when you're older?"

And the ever famous and simple: "What is it?"

The DSM defines autism as: 

Delays or abnormal functioning in at least one of the following areas, with onset prior to age 3 years: (A) social interaction
(B) language as used in social communication
(C) symbolic or imaginative play

So if that's not clear as mud we'll try this Google definition:

A mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by difficulty in communicating and forming relationships with other people and in using language and abstract concepts.

 Did you have to read that twice?

Me too. 

I'm not an expert on autism, I've just happened to work with several children who have it for 2 1/2 years now. I'm in no way trying to say I know everything about it....because I don't.

I think the biggest words that stick out to me in those definitions is "a mental condition". It's how the child/person is born. They can't "get it" later on, and it certainly doesn't go away. It's how they were born! (Lady Gaga lyrics ensue)

There are countless opinions autism, but no clear cause. For that reason I'm not really going to talk much about that part of it. There are opinions on genetic factors...there are opinions on environmental factors....it's not really a sure thing what makes a person autistic. 

The other important word in that definition to me is "difficulty". "Difficulty" is completely different from "inability". An autistic person can do things that everyone else can do, they just have a more difficult time doing it. That's where I come in with my colorful toys, flash cards, energetic smile, patient voice, and trusty iPad to try to get them up to speed on what everyone else can do so effortlessly.  

The next question I want to talk about is: "how 'disabled' are they?" 

Answer: It depends. 

Seriously, I have kids who NEVER stop talking.....

Names have been changed to protect the innocent - 

Bobby: "Do you see this block?"
Me: "Yes, it's..."
Bobby: "It's a blue block. But did you know that it can go like this and that means that it's going to fly up the stairs..."
Me: "Oh, that's...."
Bobby: "And did you know that in the movie Bobby Flys the Blue Block 3 there is this boy named Bobby who flies the blue block?"
Me: "Wow, I didn't..."
Bobby: "I'm done playing blocks, let's get out the play dough. And did you know..."

Yep.....three hours later I know a lot more about Bobby *insert title* 3 than I ever wanted to know. 

I do cut in and make that babbling stop every now and then, but lots of times I'm just glad I'm not sitting in silence. 

Other times I AM sitting in silence and I'm painstakingly trying to get the child to interact with me. Sometimes it feels like I can't possibly say: "Look! Look at my eyes....look at this! Whoa, see?" more times. And the child will avoid eye contact and randomly look at me like: "seriously, what are you doing?" Ha ha. 

Another thing that I have to deal with besides communication deficits is a child doing abnormal things physically. I have kids who hit themselves on the head, bite their legs, flap their arms too much, rock back and forth, etc. because their sensory input/output is out of whack. 

Is it frustrating working with children like this?

To me, no, it's not. It's actually really fun to help them be more appropriate. I can see first-hand that what I'm doing has long term meaning. The only times I have gotten frustrated with my children at work have been times when I'm working with a higher functioning kid (like Bobby, obviously, ha ha) and they purposely act out when they know better. 

There is something in a child's eye, special needs or NOT, that says: "I know what I'm about to do, or that what I'm doing is wrong, but I don't care. Watch me go!" 

That's the one time that I get frustrated with my higher functioning kids....and let me tell you, this RARELY even happens. Autistic kids are too literal to tease. They generally don't get that little spark in their eye that says: "Watch me disobey you." 

So when people ask me: "is it frustrating/hard working with children with autism?" I say no...and I'm being honest. After I say no I generally tell them something to the effect of: "I find it much more frustrating when a typical developing child acts out because they KNOW BETTER. The children I work with don't know better, so it's not annoying to me." 

The last thing I want to talk about in this post is the awareness side of autism. There are SO many people who shy away from families or individuals with autism. It's so sad to me! They are humans just like us who want the same things that we want.

Whenever I see a parent at a store with a child who is clearly autistic it breaks my heart when they have to apologize to strangers around them for their child's behavior. It double breaks my heart if I see that happen and they are treated differently afterwards. I always want to go up to those parents and explain that I work with children like their child and I know that it's hard. I think in most cases that would just embarrass the parent and make the situation even worse though. 

Parents of children with autism are champions! I absolutely adore all of the parents I work with. They are all so patient and incredibly sincere. More than anything they just want their child to be happy. They are just the same as any parent with a typically developing child. Parents of children with autism just want happy, healthy kids. I'm grateful that I get to provide some kind of relief to them every time I work with their child. 

I'm going to leave this post with a video at the end. I saw this video about 2 years ago and I loved it then, but I love it even more now. Probably because my job is like the therapists that went in and worked with this sweet girl. So incredible! It's worth watching!

Watch Me!

Truth Be Told

Truth be told.....

I am UNBEARABLY excited for fall!

In fact, I think I'm a little too hormonal lately because whenever I think about the crisp air, beautiful leaves, cozy feeling, cute autumn-y decorations, holidays around the corner it makes me want to cry.  (joyful cry)

What's wrong with me?!?!?

Don't say I'm pregnant.....

Cause I'm not.

I think I'm broken. I think that's the true fact, ha ha.

I think the truth is.....all of the feelings that come with fall are exactly what I've been feeling lately. Summer means fun, frolic, being outdoors, no ambitions, freedom......

I'm kind of really over that..........

Like....really really over that. :)

Bring on fall!

Anyways, that's the main thing I wanted to get out there with this post. Fall's the best.

Truth be told......

I love going to Deseret Book. I went today to buy a Book of Mormon and a journal. Man, I don't know why, but I love that place! I love walking around and seeing everything they have. It generally never changes......but it's still great.

One time I made Jeff take me to Deseret Book and Petco for a date just because I love both of those places so much.

Weird?

Yes.

Do I care?

Not really. Ha ha.

I think it'll be really good for me to keep a journal. My blog posts have been SO vaaaaague lately it's been driving me batty.

And truth be told........

They are gonna keep being vague cause really...........this blog is open to the whole entire world so I can't just say anything and everything....even if you wanted me to!

I feel kind of at peace having a journal now. I feel like I can write out everything I'm thinking and I won't be judged for it. How brilliant is that?

I wrote in it for the first time today and one thing, that I WILL tell you I wrote was the fact that I love that I can write whatever I want in it and people can't "assume the heck out of me". I feel like when I lay out my life, OR use a lot of vagueness about my life it gives everyone license to assume anything and everything about me.

Does that mean I want to stop blogging?

Nooooo!

I love blogging. People can assume the heck out of me all they want. It doesn't mean they are right. :)

Truth be told......

I love the kitten who visits our 4-plex at night. She's come around twice now. She's so cute!! We saw her the other night and I was so sad the next day when she was gone, so tonight when we pulled into our driveway and she was there I screeched and told Jeff I was going to go pet her. He told me not to....(something about not knowing where she's been).....so naturally I went over to her and picked her up. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't as hormonal as I have been lately Jeff would have reprimanded me and ordered me to drop her....but he just kind of rolled his eyes and let me do what I wanted.

When I put the kitten down she ran and followed us to our door. I didn't let her in....I'm not that cruel (Jeff is really allergic to cats....), but I did name her! She's black with white paws.....so obviously I had to name her Shadow Faux. (Ha....obviously) To all of you LOTR fans that makes no sense, but really, my naming of animals never does.

I think I mostly named her Shadow Faux so when I see her running through our yard I can say: "Run Shadow Faux! Show us the meaning of haste!"

(We seriously need to have another LOTR marathon)

Truth be told......

I love my job!! Everyday I am so happy to have the job that I do. I seriously love it. It is so draining though. I am so tired by the end of the day. Chasing around autistic kids and helping them be socially appropriate is kind of really tiring, ha.

Here are some phrases I say a million times a day: "Use your words" "I'm going to wait till you're ready" "I can see you're sad, but we need to work" "GOOD JOB!!! So good!! That was great!" "Yes or no?" "Look at my eyes".

Eye contact. It's difficult.

Today at one of my sessions there was a girl/babysitter who was there watching the siblings of the little girl I was working with. Their house is kind of small so we were all (me, the babysitter, the three kids) in a small room the whole time pretty much. The babysitter just graduated from high school (she's actually a respite worker....if you don't know what that is.....I may explain it some other time, ha ha) and she seriously either needs a friend to listen to her or she thought I was a trustworthy person cause she went off about her life and everything surrounding it. She kind of made me ignore my little client for a good twenty minutes cause she just keep talking and talking, ha ha.

One of the things that she just kept saying over and over was how patient you have to be to work with autistic kids. (This girl doesn't have a lot of patience with these kids so she is always really impressed by how I handle situations) There was one moment tonight when my little client made her sister cry on purpose and I tried to make her fix the situation, but she wouldn't. So I took the thing (iPad) she wanted away from her and told her to fix it before I would give it back. She cried and cried and cried and cried and screamed at me to go to my room (ha ha ha, I love autistic kids).

The babysitter got SO frustrated and started yelling at my client! Ha ha. I kept wanting to be like: "Uh.....girl, I got this.......it's kinda my job...." (but REALLY, can you see ME saying that to someone?) I tried a couple times to tell the babysitter that I was just going to ignore her crying and screaming till she calmed down....cause really, that's what you have to do....but the babysitter just kept yelling.

Man, it was weird.

After the babysitter gave up I let my client sit and whine for about 7 or 8 minutes and when I thought she was ready I went over to her and she was perfectly fine, did what I wanted, and we went on our merry way.

Having parents (or babysitters....ha ha) around really is the hardest part of my job. I can discipline an autistic kid till the cows come home and not feel frustrated with my job. The times I do feel flustered or out of balance with my job is when people try to step in.

Other than that, I absolutely adore my job! The kids are adorable. I have eight now that I'm all the way full-time and having to work around their school schedules. It's really fun being able to serve them and their families. They all have such different family dynamics too. Single moms, LDS families, foreign/broken English families, military families....I get to go to daycares, schools....I get to be with nannies and babysitters......I have little siblings (or sometimes older) that want to work with us nonstop! .....I see so many different things everyday.

Anyways, truth be told....

I really need to get to bed.....I like leaving you with quotes....here's a good one I read the other day!

"Often, the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life." -Elder Wirthlin

Silver Lining

Ok Blog......we gotta make this post work. I've started, I think, six or so posts this past month.....aaaand.....it's obvious that nothing has actually made it to the publish button.

I'm gonna make this one go there though! ..............I hope.

I have so much on my mind, I think that's why none of my posts have been published. All of my posts have been here........and there......and really, everywhere and nothing is making sense when I type. I just gotta calm down, I guess! Ha ha.

First and foremost, the main thing that is on my mind, is the fact that I'm not starting school this year.

I may or may not be having a complete melodramatic break down over this fact.

(Sometimes I'm irrational........and sometimes I choose to blog about it........this is one of those times........)

It feels SO weird to not be starting school again. It feels weird not being a student anymore. But I think it feels even weirder not being a teacher (k, I was never a teacher) anymore. Ever since my senior year of high school (which might as well be twenty years ago for how much I'm exaggerating) I've worked in schools...I've been a teacher-of-sorts.

Most of my life I was convinced that I was going to teach elementary school. It's just weird trying to erase the idea of being an eternal school goer, when most of my life I thought I was going to be.

Oh well, I guess I can move on.

Moving on is weird. Growing up is weird. Getting over things is even weirder.

I don't think I'm very good at getting over things, and I'm definitely not good at growing up. I feel like I've grown up a lot this year (even though up until this point in this post you'd never think that about me, ha ha).

I dare say this year has been one of the hardest for me, even though I don't want to admit it. Admitting is part of the "getting over it" process though, right? Admitting is the first step? 

It's interesting as I've gone through these past couple of months how I've evaluated life and thought about everything that's happening around me. I've been so egocentric and selfish this past while, but at the same time I've been kicking myself to think about other people.

Lose yourself and go to work.

That's so much harder than it should be. 

Amid all of this evaluation of life I've come to the conclusion that 'you never really know what another person is going through'. I've always heard people say that....I've nodded my head and internally said..."yeah yeah yeah, I get it, I know." (when really I've had no idea)

I think in most people's lives that phrase miraculously hits you like a ton of bricks one day and you can finally say: "Ok, I really do know what that means."

So where is the silver lining?

I've come to learn that it's pretty much everywhere, you just have to open your eyes and look for it.

I made a Facebook status today about my job and how it breaks my heart on a regular basis. As much as I hate to watch other people go through hard things, it makes me that much more grateful for everything I have in my life.

I left my last session of work today nearly in tears cause the mom I was talking to made me so sad! Oh my goodness, I feel so bad for so many of the families I work with. This mom is from Mexico and is SUPER bilingual. She talks to her children in Spanglish.........and Spanglish only, ha ha. I'm glad I know Spanish enough to know what she's shouting at her children at any given moment.

Before I left today she was telling me about her son who I work with and how sad it makes her that he can't be like other children. She said: "They told me that he has........asp.....aspergers? I was reading things about it, but I don't know anything about it." She just kept talking and telling me how hard everything is and I was seriously going to lose it, listening to her snapped my heart in half.

I really do love my job despite how emotional it makes me. It's so rewarding to see the children I work with make the progress that they do. It's even better to see their parents happy and feel good about their child's behavior. I'm very glad I got this job. Even though it's not in a school and doesn't technically make me a teacher.......it's still perfect, I think. :)

Because of the new school year my schedule at work is changing. All of the kids I work with will be in school (pre-school/head start etc.) so they can't have therapy during the day. Since that's the case I'll be working six hours a day, but with a big four hour gap in the middle, ha ha. Three hours, four hour break, another three hours. Weird, huh? It'll be good though in many ways. I'm going to be able to devote a good chunk of that time to my second job........playing the harp.

I've never done that, so it's going to be really good. My mom and husband both get so mad at me that I haven't played as much as I should. .............cause really, I don't play anywhere as much as I should.

I really should end this post with saying how blessed I feel. I have so much going for me and so many things that help me feel love from my Father in Heaven. I have the most tolerant (seriously), compassionate husband. He never stops trying to make me happy. I have the greatest parents (all three sets of them) a girl could ask for. I always know that they love me.

I'm going to leave you with a quote that I found recently that I've decided needs to play on repeat in my head always.....I love Elder Holland... :)

“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.

God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe.”


-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland


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Not Wishing - Just Visiting {Facebook}

So I have this friend who prompted me to blog for his own selfish reading pleasure (or something like that), and since I'm a sucker for peer pressure....

I'm giving in.

Ha, no, I really should blog more. I just come up with way too many excuses about why I shouldn't.

"Nobody is even going to read it....blah blah."
 "I don't want people knowing about my life...blah blah."
"What if I sound weird....blah blah."

Well, the reality is - all of those reasons are valid. But if they were actually at all important then nobody would EVER blog, right? Right. :)

This selfish friend of mine is a great guy that I was really good friends with in high school! And honestly, he's about the least selfish person ever. (just to prove my point you should go check out the documentary that he's been helping with in California - http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/22534752/dogtown-redemption-0)

I don't think I've seen him for almost two years. Maybe?? He and his girlfriend (now fiancee) came to a bbq Jeff and I had one summer....but I'm kind of thinking that was two years ago. Nevertheless, I feel like I'm still connected to him because of one simple, sometimes creepy, way.

Facebook.

Facebook is great. Facebook is weird. Facebook is exciting. Facebook is stalker-ish. Facebook makes me waste a lot of time. But really....Facebook makes me feel like I'm connected with people from my past that I really never see or talk to anymore.

Even without my friend coaxing me to blog, I've actually been considering blogging about high school and the time that has happened between then and now.

Due to Facebook I have a very large outlet that allows me to look at nearly every person I went to high school with and see where they are in life now - FIVE years later.

Five years, really? Five years seems like the shortest amount of time ever. Five years also seems like a huge amount of time, because SO much has happened.

And really, so much HAS happened.

I look at the people I graduated with and I see college graduates, graduate school students, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, every occupation you could think of (except for maybe doctor :) ), world travelers, home bodies who think going to Salt Lake is going out of town, people that have been through incredibly hard - personal trials that I can't even imagine, people who think the fact that the Jamba Juice worker got their order wrong is the biggest tragedy that maybe could ever happen to a human being........

........the list goes on and on....

Anyways, I see all of those things on a daily basis and it's brought me to one big, maybe fictitious, maybe actual real life conclusion....

Everyone always wishes they had something that other people have.

But the beauty in that is....

The people who you wish you were like....THEY wish they had something that YOU have. 

And if that's not the case, then they definitely wish they had something that someone else in a different situation has.

(Confused yet? Me too.)

I find myself looking at people on Facebook who have traveled the world and I say to myself - "Oh man, I want that, that looks like so much fun!" I think I forget too quickly that I really have traveled the world (in my own way). I can't sit and wish I was somewhere else because that will get me nowhere.

"Work will win when wishy washy wishing won't!" -President Monson

I also find myself looking at Facebook with all the people having babies and I say to myself - "Oh man, I want a baby! That looks like so much fun!" I think I also forget too quickly how my life will never be the same once we start having a family. I need to think more in the here and now and cherish everything I've already been blessed with.

I do think having a baby will be the best thing ever though, just sayin'. :)

Another fun thing about looking at people from high school is analyzing where they are at in life.

Jeff would PROBABLY say that I'm judging people, but in my heart of hearts I don't really think I am. (and now you're all judging me for even saying that :-P)

I work with people....I analyze behavior....that's my job title...it's in my job description to watch behavior. (Is this justification? Yes. Noooooo.) I do it with autistic kids in order to make a living, I do it with friends, family, and acquaintances I know for my own thrill of figuring people out. I love psychology probably more than anyone will ever know, so we'll say it's all good.

Figuring people out it hard. Especially over Facebook. And since Facebook isn't a true representation of what a person is actually like that makes it even harder. We all know that many people aren't truly, fully themselves over Facebook. Nonetheless, I still think it's fun to look at people from high school and see where they are at.  Geographically. Mentally. Socially. All the -ly's you can think of.

There are SO many people who are so much more successful than I am! I guess it's all about perception though, cause they might say the same thing about me.

I have so many friends that have babies, masters degrees, own houses.... I consider all of those things to be very successful. It's neat to see so many people I care about have all of those things. And honestly, I'm not jealous. I know I'll have all of those things eventually.

I hope. 

Something happened today that made me very grateful for my current situation. It was the simplest thing too, but it made me so grateful for what I have....

My visiting teachers came over!

I know that's probably not a big deal to most people, but it was exactly what I needed. I think God knew that I needed that companionship and to feel that bond of sisterhood in my life. I have so many great friends, most of them being my family, so I really can't say I'm lacking socially, but really....it felt so nice to visit with those ladies and to know that they care about me.

I could really feel my Savior's love as I visited with them.

I honestly think that's the most important thing when considering everything I've been talking about.

I think if I'm close to my Father in Heaven and I can feel that love then I won't ever need to feel like I need to be like anybody else. I won't ever need something that someone else has.

It meant so much to me that they came over and talked with me for the half hour that they did. I don't ever think that I would tell my visiting teachers my personal struggles, even though I know they would be more than willing to listen. Just having them tell me that they are there for me and that I have the option to call them whenever I need it.... that's enough for me.

And thus I leave you with this quote to sum up how I feel......

"God does notice us, and he watches over us, but it usually through another person that He meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom."

-President Spencer W. Kimball 

:)

Day Off..............

Today's my first day off with nothing to do in........................

...........................................

................k, I really don't remember.

So what am I doing? Staring at Facebook, Pinterest, and my email waiting for something to happen. Sooooo productive! It's only 10:00 though, something great is bound to happen, right?

No, I have about five or six things to accomplish today, including going down to the main office of my work and talking with my boss.

..........oh yeah.........and GETTING AN IPAD!

It's a work iPad........so don't get all excited. (even though I am....rather excited about it) (as is my husband who will probably use it more than me. It's inevitable.)

Okay, enough of those fragment sentences that are grammatically incorrect, let's move on.

I got a new job! I've had so much relief and anxiety associated with this change in my life. There are SO many pros, and only a few cons, so truly it's an excellent situation.

Much like my major in college this job involves a description, one in which I'm not very good at giving. "You're an Early Childhood major? What is that?"................ "You're an autism interventionist? What is that?"

First people have to realize that I said "autism". After that spark lights up in their eyes they go from confused to - "Oh...autism....OoooHHhhhh...wow, that takes a certain kind of person doesn't it?" I usually just laugh and say, yeah, but I think it's fun!

So really what I do is I work for this great company that does many different kinds of therapies for all ages throughout Utah. Their primary therapy is this ABA autism stuff that I do, but they also do other things. The ladies that founded the company started out doing ABA with autistic kids and that was their passion. After they did this for awhile they realized that autism affects the WHOLE family, not just the child who is autistic. They then hired some doctors and began doing mental health counseling, marriage counseling, etc. This all eventually lead to even further behavior therapy like substance abuse and really anything you can think of.

They are a pretty stellar company!

They are everywhere in the state too. They are primarily anywhere between Ogden and Lehi, but they also branch out and have clients in Tremonton, Vernal, St. George.....

They're everywhere!

I work in the "north" which means I do Davis and Weber County. Most of my clients are in Layton, actually!

So what I do is I go to the house of my client and work with them for three hours doing the ABA therapy. I generally have two of these three hour sessions a day, but sometimes I have three. I work anywhere from 6-9 hours a day.

The ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) is pretty in depth. I have to do very discrete things like sit the child down and make them identify objects, sounds, comparisons, etc. Many of the children I work with are low functioning so I work with them on colors, animals, daily functions, and all the basics of life. Other parts of the therapy include learning how to cope with social situations, which is maybe the hardest part for most children with autism. I put my kids in tough situations and teach them to work through it. One little boy that I work with HATES having his car mat touched, sat on, or messed with. He's the sweetest boy though so he doesn't get mad when I do any of those things, he just whimpers and gets very distressed. He's not extremely verbal, but when I do sit on the mat he'll say to me: "Ama, ah? Ama ah!" ("Amber, off! Amber, off!") I have to redirect him and make him at least say: "Off please", which he tries really hard and says something that sounds like that.

So besides the discrete sitting at a table and working part of the therapy, I get to do a lot of playing too! I'll take my clients on walks, we'll go to the park, we'll play with play dough/cars/stuffed animals....

I get to take a child on a field trip once a week too! Last week we went to the zoo for six hours. That was.........an experience! Ha ha.

I definitely learned first hand what it feels like to be the caregiver of an out of control special needs child and to have, what it feels like, all of society looking at you with wide eyes that say: "Can you honestly not control your child? Why did you even bring them out into this public place if you can't handle them properly?"

It's SO good for these kids to get out and experience real life situations though. Because they do get those stares....ALL the time....it makes it hard for parents or caregivers to take them places. I was really happy to take that sweet girl to the zoo last week! I'll get to do a lot more of those this summer too as the weeks go by.

Autism is so fascinating to me. It has been ever since I worked at the autistic preschool over a year ago. The causes of autism are so unknown, I wish there was more definite research on it. I definitely love working with these cute children though.

It's weird being called a "therapist". It makes me feel.............old.....or like I should be a lot more wise than I actually am. I did go through a lot of school, training, and work experience to be where I am though, so I'll take the title if they are willing to give it to me!

It also feels weird being at a point in my life where I could really make this a career. In SO many ways I'm so grateful I got this job. They are extremely flexible with how many hours/sessions you want to work and where you're willing to work, I absolutely love it! If I would have gotten a job working for head start or at another pre-school/kindergarten I would have only been guaranteed a job on a school year to school year basis....and I would have been expected to stay full-time all the time or they wouldn't have let me keep the job. With THIS job it is perfect because I can work full-time now and up until I have a baby, then after I do start having kids I can go to only a couple sessions a week and still keep the job. I could do a couple Saturday sessions or a couple sessions week nights and still be a stay-at-home mom! They have a later afternoon session from 4:00 - 7:00, so if I did a couple of those a week it would be perfect.

Who knows though, maybe once I do have a baby I'll want to just quit altogether. I won't know till that happens, I suppose. And sorry, I'm still NOT pregnant, so all of this baby talk isn't for any other reason other than speculation for the future. :)

Well, 2013 has been a very interesting year so far! It's about half way through which is crazy. It hasn't ended up at all like I thought it would. It's amazing how our lives change so much everyday, every week, every month....we are constantly changing, rearranging, and we never stop growing. At least I feel like I never do. I feel so much stronger than I did in 2012, but I still have to face lots of days when I feel incredibly weak. I don't mean physically....I'm not ill or anything of the sort. I mean spiritually, emotionally, cognitively........all of those ways. 

I think 2013 has made me a little bit more of an introvert. I'm not as open with everyone and everything as I used to be. Maybe I'm wrong....and maybe you're all reading this thinking: "TMI, Amber. T. M. I." but at least from what I've seen I have changed into a little more of an introverted person. There are also people in the world who probably never saw me as anything BUT an introvert, so surprise! You're correct. At least in my eyes.

My mom showed me this video on introverts a couple months ago and I kind of love it. Watch it!

Also, I saw something on Pinterest today that I kind of loved, I think I will leave you with it!

"The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible." :)

Graduated Grass Guru

According to my blog this is my 100th post!

Who knew?

I guess my blog knew.

I better make it good if it's going to be worthy of being number 100. :)

Well, I'm officially a college graduate! I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I definitely feel like a minority. I'm a girl. I'm a married girl. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years and doesn't have a baby. And I have a bachelor's degree. It's kind of a minority category in Utah, ha ha. Usually girls who get bachelor's degrees in Utah are single. Oooooor they are older and have children already. I'm just weird, I guess.

I guess I better join the baby bandwagon now, huh?

Yeah. Probably. Ha ha.

That's a story for a different time though.

:)

I'm starting up my mowing job again tomorrow. Wooooo! Yay grass! It will be my sixth year doing it. That's a little ridiculous, huh? Ha ha ha ha. Sigh. I'll get a real person job someday. Maybe.

I don't really want to admit how long I've been looking for a job to start upon graduation (because there was no reason why I should have been looking for a job to start NOW that many months ago) but I WILL say that I've been sifting through Early Childhood jobs for quite some time.

I've come to realize that the quality ones.....the ones worth getting are the type that are only during the school year. Because of this, the three or so jobs that I have my eye most firmly on don't start till August. Also, since that is the case, they aren't going to tell me if I get the job or not for another month or two.

I guess it makes me grateful that I have such a nice summer job to fall back on. I'm comfortable doing it, I'm comfortable with the people there, I get paid well....so I don't really mind mowing grass for three months if it means getting a better job than daycare.

Daycare. Sigh. What ruin found me there. It was definitely a learning experience. It taught me that I never want to do that kind of a thing with my life! It also taught me that there aren't nearly enough quality childcare facilities in the world for how many families use daycare every day for their babies.

At my graduation there were six of us that graduated with my degree. Six! It's not a very popular degree. I think that biggest reason behind that is not enough people know about it.

Whenever people think of education they think of being an elementary school teacher. They never consider that there is anything else but that. The majority of people don't think that little people (children younger than five) need to be educated. They just think they need to be watched and make sure they don't hurt themselves.

I wish more people went into the field of early childhood education. Quality education during those years sets people up to have so many more advantages later in life.

I think another reason people lean more towards teaching older children is due to the fact that they don't have to have as much patience with them. (In my mind I have to have MORE patience for older children cause they drive me more nuts!)

I feel kind of empty now that I'm graduated. I really hope I get one of the jobs that I'm waiting on cause I think it will fill the emptiness that I'm feeling.

One of the best things about graduating is being able to look back and think of the people who made it possible for you to get there. I think one of the biggest reasons I feel kind of empty is because I've never had nothing to do before. I've never been done with something to the point where I don't need to worry about the future or the accomplishments I'm working towards. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is the hardest working person I know! He definitely taught me how to love work and how important education is. I think he is a big reason why I did graduate. Between him and all of the other people in my life that support me I can't really say that I graduated all on my own.

Speaking of people who have helped me along the way, I think Jeff is going to love having me graduated more than I will love being done. This last semester of student teaching and doing my internship was rough. I was working with children between the ages of one and five for close to 10 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I love children that age, and I feel like I put on a happy face when I was with the children/my fellow teachers, but at home every night I was not a very happy camper. I was SO tired and so cranky all the time. I was not a very nice person to live with I don't think.

It's going to be nice mowing and taking a couple of months to renew my morale. I definitely burnt myself out working 50 hour weeks this semester. I'm going to try to be a nice person to live with again too. :) ha ha

Can I ever say how grateful I am for Jeff in these posts?

Probably not.

I was the one who was being difficult to live with when he's been working that hard every semester since we've been married. He worked full-time and took fifteen credits this last semester. He's ending up with mostly A's too. I think he might get one B (or B+ we don't know yet). I don't know how he does it. It makes me cry when I think about it cause it makes me feel so undeserving of his patience and kindness towards me.

He's so great to me! :)

Well, the next couple of months should be interesting to see what happens. The next year will be interesting too! A lot is going to happen! Jeff will keep getting closer to being done with school, hopefully I'll get a good teaching job, Jeff might cave and get me a parakeet....ya never know what's going to happen! Ha ha.

There are several hobbies I've been wanting to start now that I'm graduated too. If I actually do start them up I may tell you about them. A couple of them I'm a little hesitant to talk about till I try them out first. I'm definitely going to play my harp more now. I even want to start teaching lessons, but that might have to wait till I can play for six or so months and get good again. :) We shall see........

So much change, but it's a good kind of change!

 "We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. God sees us in terms of forever." <3 br="">
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin