Swamp Land

Oh heeeeyyy...

It's been a minute.

I guess I did blog in March a little bit?

I was coming on here fully thinking it had been a couple of months since I had written anything.

The reason for me thinking that way is...

I am swamped.

Totally swamped, people!

Swamped.

As in, I feel like I live in a swamp.

Ha ha ha ha.

There is a never ending amount of things to do. There are a never ending amount of children (or 3) to care for. It's swamp land around here.

I want to update my blog on my kids, because they are changing at a rapid pace. They do new things every day. They show me new challenges as a parent each day. They bring new joys all the time, as well.

I'd say the good out weighs the tiredness. Even with all the screaming that happens. Ha ha ha

Logan....

Mr. Logan Boy.

His personality is starting to blossom. He's a smart baby. He reads people's emotions well.

He, himself, only has a few facial expressions...

-Ultra happy (seen above)

-Very concerned

And the most common...

-Surprised!!

His eyes are always super wide, as is his mouth.

If he ever DOES close his mouth I have to do a double take, because it's just not his normal look at all.

Ha ha ha ha ha

His normal look is that little scaly wag up there.

I love him.

He gives quick hugs, which I feel like my other two did not do at this age.

Grace was always a busy body as a baby and lit-er-rally would NOT lay down to save her life. This meant she was never cuddling or giving hugs as a baby. She had to be upright at all times.

Hunter was the total opposite and was in a constant state of cuddle as an infant. If he was being held, he was snuggling into whoever was holding him. He still does that.

I've never had a baby that will give quick, little hugs to show affection. Logan does! It's very cute. He definitely knows when I need a hug. He's a very aware baby.

He is SO much happier now that he can move around. He scoots and army crawls everywhere. He is able to pivot and change directions for where he wants to go. He loves his freedom to roam. He is very close to crawling on his knees. He tries endlessly all day, but his little arms aren't quite strong enough.

Love that baby.

Next up!

Hunter.

He is hilarious. I know I say that a lot, but if you knew him as well as I do you'd see how true it is. He is starting to be braver with talking around more people than just our immediate family.

The other day we were at a restaurant and the waitress asked him how old he is. His answer was: "Seven". Ha ha ha ha. (He's 2, for the record)

"Seven" is his go to number. Whenever he doesn't know what number to say he'll go with "seven".

He'll often say: "Seven minutes, Mom?"

Which leads me to the next thing. He ends the majority of his sentences with "Mom."

Liiiike... I'd say 90% of his sentences end with: "Mom.", "Mom?", or "Mom!!"

"Gracie at preschool, Mom?"

"I have cracker cheese, Mom?"

"Go a library, Mom? Library a day, Mom?"

"I do it, Mom!"

"That's a blue one, Mom."

"Play a me, Mom."

"Dad at work, Mom?"

"Baby sleeping, Mom."

Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom...

My most heard word.

Hunter loves soccer. He kicks with his left foot! Each and every time he uses his left foot. We have noticed that he throws with his left hand the majority of the time too. I'm not sure if he'll write with his left or not. Using a crayon and utensils is still pretty ambidextrous.

He has decided he would like to be a soccer player when he grows up. "Play soccer like Daddy, Mom. Play like Daddy!" He has a pretty strong kick for his age. He is also very accurate for his age too. He was kicking our soccer ball around at Grace's soccer game on Saturday and he was better than a lot of the 4-5 year olds out on the field. He is going to LOVE playing when he's old enough.

Hunter is really an everything kind of boy. I was talking to Jeff about this the other day...

He doesn't really pin point his interests to one "boy" category. He loves them ALL.

Jeff told me he has always been that way too.

Hunter LOVES (like seriously LOVES).....

-Sports (primarily soccer and basketball)
-Dinosaurs (he knows the difference between lots of dino types)
-Vehicles (fire trucks are his favorite)
-Community Helpers (everything from policeman to bus driver!)
-Super Heroes (he likes Spiderman and Batman)
-Guns (well, ya know, Nerf guns)
-Wrestling (he always tries to wrestle with Logan, but is surprisingly very sweet about it)
-Anything his Dad wants to do

He's an everything boy.

Something that I adore about Hunter is his love for singing and dancing. A lot of his hilariousness shows itself through song.

Gracie Goo.

My smart, kind, little girl.

She is getting so big and I just have to cry about it, because there is nothing else to do!

Grace LOVES writing.

A brand new notebook and fun pen would be her absolute dream gift right now, ha ha.

She can write all the letters both capital and lowercase. There are a couple of lowercase that she gets backwards, but overall she does everything just as it should be.

A couple of weeks ago I told Grace that she should learn how to write her last name before going to kindergarten.

It's a long one! Nine letters!

She has been writing her first name independently for a long time, but I thought it would be good for her to be able to write both.

My mom works at an elementary school and has said that many kindergartners go to school not even knowing what their last name IS. I figured knowing how to write it would help out her teacher even more, ha ha.

I thought Grace could practice writing our last name over the summer and maybe have it memorized by kindergarten.

Nope.

She memorized it in less than a day.

She wrote it over and over and over... a good dozen times.

Then later in the afternoon she showed me a blank piece of paper with just a single writing of our last name on it. By the looks of it, she hadn't copied or traced it from anything that I gave her. I asked her if she wrote it from memory. She had the biggest smile on her face and said "Yep!"

I didn't believe her, so I got a new piece of paper and had her write it in front of me.

She did!

She could do it, totally from memory.

Geez, she's a smart girl.

She is very excited, because she is almost done with the alphabet in preschool and then they get to work on reading sight words for "letter lesson". She loves telling me about letter lesson. She has been hyped for the past month or so since she's been so close to being done with the alphabet.

"We are on Y! That means we are almost done!"

Grace takes the lead on being the oldest sibling. She is a very natural oldest sibling.

She is bossy and "knows best", however, she is extremely caring.

She is my #1 helper. I ask her to do things for me.... go fetch a clean diaper... throw something away for me... etc. and she is always ready to help.

She thrives on words of affirmation. I think a big reason why she wants to read independently and spell/write on her own is because of how proud Jeff and I are of her.

Total oldest child.

She is a sweetheart. We sure love her.

Sass and all!

Well, I'm back to my swamp land.

Honestly, it's not all that bad.

We cleaned up the toys earlier and that in and of itself makes my house look like polished marble...

So really, we're doing great! :)

Social Media

This topic has been on my mind so much lately. Almost like a constant white noise in the background of my brain.

Social media.

Yes, I post on social media a lot.

Every day.

Multiple times a day!

I post happy things, I post funny things, I post things that represent what is going through my head at any given minute.

Social media is a double edged sword.

It is a place to stay connected. It is a place to see what is happening with people you love, people who interest you, people who you want to know about....

It is also, in many ways.... a really hard thing.

People showcase their lives. They show what they think will make them look best. They show what they think will make them stand out.

If social media had a color, it would be green.

So much of social media sparks envy.

I wish I was eating that delicious looking food!

I wish my house looked that clean!

I wish my boyfriend was nice to me like that!

I wish my kids were put together like those kids!

I wish I wish I wish...

Whenever I find myself having green thoughts while scrolling through Instagram or Facebook I almost immediately stop myself and think.... "Is this reality?"

The answer is most likely.... maybe partially yes, but mostly NO.

Nobody has a perfect life.

I hope with all that I am that nobody thinks I have a perfect life!

I get frustrated with my family on a daily basis.

Did Facebook tell you that?

No. Facebook showed you that I'm nothing but happy with my intelligent, beautiful children.

I have countless things on my to do list that never get done.

Would you ever know that from the things I post?

No. Definitely not.

I yell at my kids everyday.

Did my Instagram selfie with my son tell you that?

No, we were smiling in that picture!

It doesn't mean he's not two years old, though, and doesn't deserve to go to time out sometimes.

I get sad that I'm not able to simultaneously do everything I want to do... that I'm not as successful as I'd like to be.

Does my social media tell you that?

No. It tells you that I'm a hardworking work from home mom who takes her kids on fun outings and makes a leprechaun trap for them every St. Patricks Day. Ha ha ha ha

For real...

My life IS great. My life is very happy.

But it's also difficult in ways I'll never publicly display every day.

I have a horrible auto immune disease that flattens me to the ground often.

It can be isolating being a stay at home mom, when some days you wonder if you'll ever talk to another human over the age of 5 ever again.

Things don't always go as planned. Trials get in the way.

I think what I try to convey on my social media.... who knows if I'm successful... is that life can be wonderful amid the hard things in life.

Social media can cause unrealistic expectations and in turn bog people down to bad places. I want my friends to know that they can always reach out to me if they are having those feelings about what they are seeing on social media.

I have read SO many articles, stories, issues about people committing suicide because of social media lately.

It's a scary, real thing.

It makes me concerned for my friends at the age we are now, but it makes me even MORE scared for my kids. I have no idea what the internet will be like when they can be part of it, but I do know that I want to help them by preparing now.

I want them to know that their worth does not depend on what they are posting on social media. It doesn't matter how many people like you. It is okay if you are posting things purely for your own personal future reference.

In so many ways social media is a picture journal for me. And that's okay!

Sorry to unload my brain on this subject. It's just been so pressing on my mind lately.

You are not alone! We live in a hard world, but really it can be a happy one too.

What you see on social media is usually not reality.... :)

Reality - Blinding Sun

Instagram Husband making the shot better! :)

I am not an animal.

I am not an octopus.

I am not a kangaroo.

I am not a koala bear.

I am not an animal.

However...

I envy those animals.

Octopuses have several arms, which I think would come in handy more often than not.

Kangaroos have built in storage for their inevitably screaming baby who is probably only calm whilst being held.

Koala bears do two things.... eat and sleep. They sleep between 18 and 22 hours a day. True story!

Did you know that?

I did.

And I'm green with envy.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Jk. Jk. Jk.

I put a lot of thought in to how my children feel loved.

I am always striving to give them enough warmth and happiness to fill their cup of love, so they can maybe let me sleep 1/16 as much as a koala bear gets to sleep. :)

Everyone has a certain way that they feel loved the best. I always turn to the 5 Love Languages book (that I have never read, but most certainly have gazed over and muddled through in my mind time and time again) to figure out how my family feels loved.

The 5 Love Languages are:

-Words of Affirmation
-Physical Touch
-Quality Time
-Receiving Gifts
-Acts of Service

These are so important to consider with your partner. You obviously want your partner to feel loved. If your partner isn't feeling loved then your life might not be the happiest.

I think it is also important to consider our childrens love languages.

I have thought long and hard about how my children feel loved.

Grace's love language is 1,000,000% Quality Time.

Without a doubt.

Zero hesitation.

I think it is easy to say most young children enjoy quality time with their loved ones, but truly Grace treasures quality time. I am certain that will remain the case as she continues to grow.

One part of this that is tricky, is she must be entertained at all times. She feels best when she is engaged. If you are interacting with her individually you may as well be Santa Clause delivering all of her favorite presents, because she can't get enough having a person's complete attention.

I try to be present with my children.

I give it my all, man....

....but sometimes my all is about as good as a sleeping koala bear and I need a break. I will ask Grace to go play with her thousands of toys for even just a minute.

More often than not she takes it as a punishment.

She literally *Chris Traeger voice* can't handle being told to disengage from quality time and go PLAY WITH TOYS. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I love her.

BECAUSE she feels loved through quality time, it has molded her in to being such a sweet, sweet girl. She has the biggest heart. She feels things so deeply. Her emotions really pierce her soul, it seems. I love how sensitive she is, because it means that she is emphatic towards others.

If you ever want a friend to listen to you, love you, completely adore your undivided attention... I've got an almost 5 year old for you. :)

Hunter's love language is physical touch.

He is a cuddly, snuggly little boy. He will give hugs till the cows come home.

At times the cows never come home, so there are lots of hugs.

He has a quick reset button for when he's sad, which I attribute to him just needing a hug and he's on his way.

When he talks to me he always wants to at least be holding my hand. He prefers to sit with me.

He loves wrestling and, honestly, just getting in people's faces/personal space, ha ha ha ha ha.

He likes whispering stuff to me, which I think is pretty hilarious.

He's a mischievous, hilarious kid. I'll gladly hug him all day long.

Logan....

Logan Boy, Logan Boy....

Even at 6 months old, Jeff and I have decided that his love language is Quality Time like Grace.

He is SOOOO happy when he has eye contact with someone.

He doesn't need to be held necessarily, just engaged with people. If he has that attention he is a happy camper.

He'll laugh through his crying if he gets eye contact.

It will be interesting to see how his love language parallels with Grace as they get older.

Will they stay the same?

Logan just seems like the boy clone of Grace in every way. It is funny comparing their babyhoods.

I know I fall short in many ways as a mom, but I always hope I can stay mindful of what makes my kids happy. I know they pick up on those cues from each other as well. They are sweet siblings.

They definitely make me feel loved!

My Sweet Friend

My Gracie Goo is such a sweet friend.

She cares very deeply for all of her friends. She never wants them to be sad. She is often thinking of nice things to do for them.

I told her the other day that it is going to be Valentine's Day soon. It was a mini zombie apocalypse type panic that we NEEDED to go to the store RIGHT then and get Valentine's.

Well, I've never been in a REAL zombie apocalypse, I can only imagine what that would feel like.

She was SO excited to get Valentines to give to her friends. She loves giving things to people she loves. Valentines, birthdays, Christmas etc. are all really happy times for her.

So we went and picked some Valentines at the store. She wanted the LOL Doll ones, of course. She was looking at the package and then turned to me...

"Mom... I don't think my boyfriends will like these LOL Doll ones."

What four year old even considers what other kids might like?

She said it in a concerned way too, NOT in a... 'I'm bothered that they might not like the ones I like' kind of way. She genuinely wanted her friends to be happy with her gift.

Grace has a lot of boy friends, because her preschool class is 3/4 boys, ha ha ha. She has two girls in her class besides herself and then nine boys! She also wanted to give some to cousins, so there are lots of boys there too.

I told her that she could use some from Hunter's Paw Patrol box, because he doesn't need 32 Valentines to himself.

This was acceptable to her, ha ha.

She then spent the next two FULL days filling out each individual Valentine. She wrote her name on all the "from"s and then I told her the letters for each of her friends names to put on the "to"s.

It was a ton of work on her part! She had to write lots of names!

She was so excited with each one, picking out the one she thought her friend would like, finding a taffy to go with it, etc.

I hope her little friends know how lucky they are to have her around.

She is a sweetheart.

Grace has always been very emotionally aware. She understands feelings in a deep way. I just want to squeeze her and never let her leave me, because I know so much of the world doesn't and won't appreciate her emotional intelligence.

I am glad she is my friend. She definitely always makes me feel loved.

What My Life Sounds Like: Hunter

I'm sorry to everyone I've ever become acquainted with, but my son is the funniest person I've ever known.

He is hilarious! Even when he's on my last nerve, I find myself laughing.

I don't know how that's possible.

With him, it is.

He only shows his goofiest side to the people he's most comfortable with. A lot of times that's from cues that he takes from Grace. If Grace is at ease in a situation, Hunter usually follows. He feeds off of Grace SO much.

I wanted to document some things that Hunter has been saying, because he's so dang cute.

He is constantly playing Paw Patrol. There isn't a second of the day that a pup is not in hand.

Diaper changes....

Mid meal....

Sleeping....

While he's trying to play with other toys....

He ALWAYS has a pup with him.

He primarily enjoys carrying around Rocky. Rocky is green, his favorite color. He's also taken a fascination with garbage trucks when they drive past our house. He will hear it coming and full on sprint to the window.

Rocky is the garbage/recycle dog, so he's been liking exploring that world a little bit lately.

Also a huge reason he loves Rocky is because Grandma gave him Rocky a couple months ago.

Grace originally got all of the Paw Patrol racers when she was Hunter's age and they have been passed down to him. Somewhere along the road of life we lost the Rocky racer. Once Hunter started REALLY loving (obsessing) over Paw Patrol he was upset that we had all the pups except Rocky. So my mom got him a Rocky and it basically made Hunter's entire life.

He tells me at least 3-4 times a week that Grandma gave him Rocky.

He kinda loves Grandma.

Something SO funny that he's been saying during his Paw Patrol adventures is the word: "emergency".

Last week he was playing with his pups and he ran up to me: "MOOOMM!! Zuma a stuck! Is a MEREMCEY!!!"

.............

It's a what??

"Mom! MEREMCEY!!!"

...it took me about 5 times to realize he was saying: "emergency". Ha ha ha ha ha. I laughed so hard when I figured it out. He is SO DANG cute. I can't get over it.

I am constantly swooning over Hunter.

Ask Jeff.... Hunter will do anything and I am in total swoon mode.

I love that kid.

In the past couple of days he has started using the word "rescue" when he plays with his pups too.

"Mom! A meremcey! A rescue Chase! Rocky a rescue Chase, MOM! MOOOOMMMM meremcey!!!!"

Can you tell he always thinks I'm not listening to him by the way he screams MOOOOMMM!! at me? Ha ha ha ha

Au contraire, my little buddy, I am always listening to you.

Something impressive that Hunter has been doing that I didn't know he could do is count to 20! The teens are a little sketchy at times. His 13-16 can be a slur, but after 17 he's got it down.

Being a nursing mom has it's struggles at times. A main struggle, that has regulated itself, in our home is my two older kids thinking they NEED ME at ALL times, EVERY minute of the day. So when I'm feeding the baby it's a minor crisis. :)

They have gotten better (I sure hope so, Logan is half a year old!), but they still often ask me when I'm going to be done with the baby. Grace has learned that the baby has two sides to eat from, so she'll ask me: "Has he eaten on both sides?" This is pretty much her hint, saying: 'let's get this show on the road, Mom.'

Hunter has picked up on this, so now EVERY time I am feeding Logan he'll come up to me and say: "Done a two sides, Mom? Logan done a two sides?"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Something that I LOVE about Hunter is how much he sings.

He is Jeff's clone.

He knows so many songs.

His enunciation is not the best, but I can always tell that he knows the actual words to all the songs he sings.

I love listening to him.

Some of his favorite songs to sing spontaneously on his own are:

I am a Child of God
ABC Choo Choo song
Jingle Bells (he sings the end: "Oh what fun it is to ride in Santa's stinky shoes!")
Regular ABC's
I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus

He knows the words to dozens of songs on the radio, many primary songs, tons of Disney songs, and lots of preschool type songs. I'm always surprised how well he can sing songs he's only heard a couple times.

Something else funny that he's been saying lately is all the little catch phrases for the Paw Patrol pups. He knows each pups little phrase(s).

He got a Paw Patrol tower for Christmas that is as big and tall as he is. On the top of the tower there are little symbols for each pup (ex. fire for Marshall, recycling for Rocky etc.) that are on the pups dog tags. They are all neutral color on the top of the tower, so going off of what color the pup wears isn't possible.

Hunter pointed at the recycling one today and said: "It's Rocky!"

I was like....what the? No WAY does he know all of the pups, just based on the symbols and no colors.

Guess what??

He did!

I was so surprised! Such a smart kid.

Since he started talking more he is just a fountain of tiny 2 year old knowledge.

I am proud of the little guy he's becoming. I sure love him a lot. He makes my days so happy. He is my comedian and my break from my worried mommy brain. He loves me unconditionally and gives the best hugs.

I love that Hunter Jeff.

Up to date: Logan

The mom guilt is reminding me that when Grace was a baby I made frequent updates about her and her developmental progression.

The tired mom of 3 is reminding me that when my son is 30 years old he won't be reading my blogs from his infancy.

Or will he!?

My Logan Boy is SOOO sweet. He has such a charm to him. His smile is huge, but quiet in the cutest way. He just makes everyone happy.

He is almost SIX MONTHS OLD.

Half a year.

I can't understand how and why that went so fast.

He has been wanting me to rock him to sleep recently.

For the first several months he did really well just being laid down and would fall asleep on his own. He's getting bigger now and wants me more.

It's nice to be wanted.

Usually. Haha

I sure love him.

I am kind of a nickname queen. The things (people) I love the most get nicknames. So... mostly my kids... haha.

Logan's nicknames are:

-Logy (pronounced: "low-gee")
-Baby Logy
-Loggers (pronounced: "low-gers")
-Logger Logs (the variations could go all day, people!)
-Logan Boy (not to be confused with "Hunter Boy")
-Bug or Bugs

Some things Logan loves:

-Grace and Hunter being silly right up close to him
-Daddy smiling at him
-Bright flashing lights on toys
-Taking Grace to preschool
-Sitting up tall (with help)
-Warm baths
-Holding Mom's hand while he eats or falls asleep

Some things Logan does NOT like:

-Being left alone on the floor
-Watching Mom walk away
-When Hunter screams in his face
-Wearing anything but jammies, haha

Some things Logan does:

-Rolls both ways
-Sleeps on his tummy
-Eats (or tries to eat) baby oatmeal
-Laughs and smiles
-Puts everything in his mouth
-Plays with toys
-Plays with his toes

We are so lucky to have Logan in our family. He brings happiness and joy to each of us. Grace and Hunter always want to hug him every morning, after every nap, and any time they haven't seen him for longer than 10 minutes, haha. 

I've known since long before he was born that he was meant to be in our family. I can't wait to watch him grow up more and see what role he plays for us as he gets older. Right now he's a peacemaker. 

I love him for that. 

New

New Years is such a rejuvenating time.

It is a time full of expectations too.

Expectations often overwhelm me. I am usually able to meet most expectations, but I stress about things more than I should.

For that reason I don't have many set goals.

I have some things I want to focus on. I have ideas that I want to try in hopes that it'll help me in my life.

This year is going to involve a lot of change for my family.

Grace will start kindergarten this year. (I've started panicking about that one in a minor way)

Hunter will start preschool this year.

Logan will start to move more and add a third child for me to run after. My life in that respect has always been fairly calm, but adding a third on our adventures will be a whole new story.

I am wanting to apply for a higher up position with my job, which will be nothing but a blessing for us.

I have the best job for stay at home moms. The flexibility literally can not be beat. I am always so thankful for that.

Another big thing for us is the new Come Follow Me curriculum that the church is implementing this year.

I keep having reoccurring feelings that this program is going to be so important for us. The home really should be where my kids are learning the gospel. I am thankful for the added opportunity that will come by doing the new program.

It is important for my kids to know what Jeff and I believe. It is important for us to prepare them to be strong members of the church.

I have had such strong feelings that we are on the cusp of what is going to be an even harder time to be members of the church. It's hard already, because so much of the world is against Christian beliefs and lifestyles, but I feel like it's just going to get harder.

In coming days it is going to be very hard to stand up for what is right. To stay on the Lord's side. It just is!

And that is....

TERRIFYING!

Like the blog that I wrote a couple months ago about President Ballard's talk in our regional conference....

GOOD members of the church are leaving, because they are not watering their faith with the living water Christ has to offer.

Strong members of the church need to be stronger.

The feelings that the Come Follow Me program will help my family are a constant echo in my head.

I think about it ALL the time!

I just know it is 100% going to help.

I have also felt the spirit prompting me toward doing something this new year that is difficult for me....

However, as I've tried, I have been supported by who knows who on the other side of the veil (most likely my grandma), because it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.

I have decided that I want to be off  social media during the day when my kids are awake.

Primarily Instagram and Facebook.

That is hard.

Hard hard hard.

Being a stay at home mom, those outlets are HOW I talk to ADULTS.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I mean, I talk to people more directly on messenger, Marco Polo, and Snapchat, which I will still use in moderation. But really, Instagram and Facebook for the most part are one, big mindless scroll fest.

I do comment on lots of mom groups, VIPKID groups, diabetes groups... that I am a part of....

But 99% of those sites are scrolling and liking for me.

Is that a good use of my time when my precious children are staring at me in the face?

Wanting me to interact with them?

No. No, it is definitely not!

It's not like I have been a zombie and don't talk to my kids...

That's not even close to our reality...

But I know I can be better.

I want them to remember my face without a phone in front of it.

It is hitting me like 12 tons of bricks, 30 stampeding elephants, and a big bulldozer that Grace is going to be in school full time later this year.

My time... full time... with her is dwindling.

I know I need to be a more attentive mom for her. I need to stop worrying about having a clean house. I need to give up on trying to do so much, and just be her mom.

I have been trying to come up with a theme for this year for us to focus on.

I want to slow down. I want to just enjoy how little my kids are.

They are so little! And they won't always be so little.

I feel like the past couple of years I have been in hyper mode trying to do SO much. I feel like we have been trying to get ahead for so long, when we really just need to pause and be in this moment.

I haven't been able to narrow down exactly what my focus will be this year, but I know it will include time and family.

Because "love" it spelled T-I-M-E, right?