Ducks and Elephants

Fridays are wonderful because I only work for three hours. Compared to the other four weekdays where I work 10 hours....that's a pretty great thing! (9 hours actually with kids, 1 hour driving in-between houses)

I am in desperate need of new church clothes, so with having a basically free day and a whole bunch of gift cards from my birthday I was determined to get something. (Like seriously.....I probably can't go to church on Sunday if I don't find something)

If you know me, which I hope you do if you're reading this.....creepy.....

You may know that I don't shop. Never. I really don't ever shop. When we go up to the family cabin 3-4 times a year all the girls want to shop in Park City and those ARE the 3-4 times a year I shop. You think I'm kidding?

Ask my husband.

He loves me for it.

Anyways, back to today. I walked and walked and walked and walked around Kohl's until I noticed something weird.............I wasn't walking.....I was waddling.

NOOOOO!!!!!!

No way!

No way was I waddling!

Sigh.

I was. And here's the thing....I know I'm over 23 weeks pregnant....I know if you try to divide that into months I'm like basically 6 months (we'll say 5 1/2 months) pregnant....but still. Already? I'm already waddling. I'm blaming it on the fact that Kohl's had nothing I wanted and I walked and walked the whole store four times (maybe exaggerating) so my hips started hating me and reduced me to a duck.

That's what I'm going to blame it on. I don't always waddle, right?

Right.

I'm really actually starting to feel pregnant now, which is good and tiring all at once. My body is actually starting to slow down and it's interesting.

On to less depressing things.....

After I epically failed at Kohl's (and as a result probably won't be going to church this Sunday) I went and did what any normal person would do....I got a yummy shake from Coldstone. Mmmmm....

Less than four months till the baby's arrival! That pretty much means I have about three more months of work! Crazy!

I get emotional and excited and every feeling you probably could feel when I think about being done working.

I've always worked. From the time I was 16 I've had a job. When I was in school it was usually part-time....summers were always full-time....and since I've been graduated coming up on a year it's been full-time. It'll be weird not working, but it'll be worth it!

As of last night all of the parents I work with know I'm pregnant now. I've had several act very surprised and have told me I'm really small for being as far along as I am. (I feel like my watermelon of a stomach is growing inches a day, but whatever, I'll take the compliment)

One of the best reactions I got to when I told a mom of a client I'm pregnant.....she congratulated me and then almost immediately said: "But, oh my gosh! He *pointing to her three year old son* beats you up all the time! I'm so sorry!" Even though it's true, it made me laugh!

That really is a tricky part with being pregnant in my line of work. I get punched and slapped at a lot. Usually since my kids are so small the place they can reach to hurt me is my stomach too. I've had to deflect a lot of things lately and it makes me nervous sometimes.

I'm hoping to work up till June and then maybe pretty part-time during June, but we'll see how I feel. I've been feeling pretty good so far, it depends on the day. Like I said, I work 9 hours with kids most days and that's pretty tiring even if you aren't pregnant! Doing therapy is a pretty engaging, full-focused commitment.

The vinyl wall hanging Jeff got me for my birthday came in the mail the other day! I'm so excited to put it up! We probably won't be putting things on the walls in the baby's room for another two months or so though. We want to get the crib and changing table purchased and figure out what other furniture is going to go in there first before things go semi-permanently on the walls. We probably won't have other furniture besides the dresser we already have (that's going to get painted yellow and pink! Wahoo!) and a glider/rocking chair.

Here is a picture of the vinyl thing that came to us the other day. This is going to go above the crib. :) I love it!

Then on the opposite wall I'm trying to get this six tile graphic art thing custom made. Each picture would be 8 X 10 and I'm planning on putting them on wood blocks to kind of stuck 3D-ish out from the wall. We haven't decided on a name yet....and we might not decide till after the birth so I might be ordering like three name pictures just to be safe. We'll see though. As of right now this is what it looks like....

 So cute, huh?? I'm kind of in love.

There are a couple of tweeks that might be made, like the bird on the pink stripe may change to yellow....etc. But that's probably going to be close to the final product. So much happiness!

Ha ha ha.

Our daughter may be spoiled already, but every first child is, right? I'm trying to be very thrifty about everything too though, I'm really not spending very much. (In my opinion...)

It helps that my husband and I both have good paying jobs (for the stage of life we are in right now). Hopefully me working full-time now means we'll have a bunch of money saved up so our baby can always have the cute things that I force upon her, ha ha.

In other happy news, Jeff will be graduating in less than two months!! Yay!! He'll have a good summer's break, which he'll need to get used to having a baby, and then hopefully the masters program will start in the fall.

Most days when I think about our next year, it amazes me how selfless Jeff is. He'll be working full-time and doing his masters while being a new dad. As we've considered all of our options, we both primarily want me to be a stay-at-home mom, but we've considered if I should do some evening/weekend sessions with my current job. Every time I bring it up and talk about scenarios like, I could make this much money if I did this....or I could make this much money if I do that.....Jeff has always said that the money doesn't matter.

I'm a pretty lucky girl to have him in my life.

Well, hopefully anyone that read this was just wishing upon a star that an emotional pregnant lady would divulge her latest pregnant moments with you............

.........cause that's pretty much what this was.

I guess if you think that's annoying you wouldn't be reading this anyways. If you are still reading this and you think I'm annoying, just imagine me waddling through Kohl's and maybe that'll put you in a happier mood.

I've always looked at the outlandish braggers that I find daily on Facebook and have told myself that I don't want to be like them and their bragging ways. But then I type a blog post and realize that many people probably view my life how I view the outlandish braggers. They probably read all of this and think that I'm on a high horse galivanting through marriage bliss and off to joyful motherhood.

Well, it's not really like that.

I waddle.

I cry.

I say rude things to my husband.

I cry some more.

I worry about my baby.

But mostly, I guess, I waddle now.

I guess in the end it just matters what kind of attitude you decide to have. Amid my tears and frustrations I try to have a positive attitude.

I hope that's the message that can be left with this blog.

Girl.

I feel like I have so much too say.....but first things first........

Our baby is a GIRL! Wahoo!!! :)

We found out on Tuesday and we are so very happy!

I kind of had a vibe from the beginning that it was a girl. I even told my mom the morning I found out I was pregnant that I thought it was a girl.

Jeff is going to be the best dad to a little girl! I watch how he is with his sisters, and don't get me wrong he's likes making fun of them, but he loves all of them a lot and cares about them loads. He'll be a great father to a little girl, for sure.

I'm 99.9% that our next baby will be a girl too, so we'll have a full table ready for tea parties coming up soon!

Ha ha ha ha.

Okay....maybe that deserves an explanation.

My family has this curse.....

Maybe it's not a curse....girls are fun!

But there is this thing that I'm a part of that says I'm going to have a baby girl when I'm 26 years old.

Right now (as of yesterday!) I'm 24, so yeah, the next baby could be at 26 and according to the family "curse" it'll be a girl.

Here's why that is.......

(This is all on my mom's side of the family)

When my grandma was 13, her sister was born.

When my grandma was 26 and her sister was 13, my mom was born.

When my grandma's sister was 26 and my mom was 13, my second cousin (girl) was born.

When my mom was 26 and my second cousin (girl) was 13, I was born. (Ta Daaaa!!)

When my second cousin (girl) was 26 and I was 13, my second cousin's baby GIRL was born!

So now........

When I'm 26 and my second cousin (girl)'s baby GIRL will be 13......I will have to have a baby girl.

Get it???

Got it???

Not confusing at all??

(You're confused, huh? It's okay, go read it again or just pretend like you get it)

Basically I'm stuck in this cycle of baby girls and a whole bunch of  "when she's 26 and she's 13...".

It's a pretty weird thing we have going on.

I'll probably end up having a boy at 26, will totally break the chain, and will be the one to mix things up.....but we'll see! If you see another girl announcement in a couple of years you'll know.........

.....I don't know what you'll know.....

That my family is strange?

Or totally cool.

Anyways, apart from all of that, we are SO excited to have a little girl! At this current time. Age 24. Sorry to confuse everyone with future talk.

I've been going crazy figuring out how to decorate the nursery, it's kind of been annoying to everyone, including me. Ha ha.

I like the concept of having three colors together. Two isn't enough and four is like a rainbow, so I wanted to pick three for the baby's room. I decided on baby pink cause uh.....I'm all about being gender specific (every feminist friend I have just cringed). I don't think I'm girly girly enough to have picked purple though, so I didn't go with that color combination.

I decided on yellow and gray for the other two colors! Also, I'm kind of a huge animal lover, so it wasn't really a question if there was going to be an animal included in the theme, ha ha ha. That was just kind of a given.

I really like elephants to go along with gray, so I think that's what we are going with! Jeff has been so patient with me while I've been psychotic about figuring things out.

(Another reason he'll be a good dad to a girl, the girl will probably be like me and he handles me flawlessly. We've got this down. It'll be great.)

I found this so so so cute fabric vinyl thing for the wall and Jeff is ordering it for my birthday! Woo wooooo!

This is the website, (Baby nursery decals! ) they have tons or super cute things, especially if you like jungle animals! Their prices are pretty average, I think? They might even be on the cheaper side? I think most places price these things really expensive. 

Anyways, enough of that, we still have a little over four months till the baby gets here, so there isn't too big of a rush to have everything sorted out (except in my brain it definitely seems like a "decide now or forever wish you had" situation).

Yesterday was my birthday and I felt so much love from all the people in my life wishing me a happy birthday! I have so many people who care about me. I'm so grateful to know all of them!

Jeff took me to Taggart's Grill for dinner and I about passed out from an overload of good food. Mmmmmm.....so yummy! (Side note: Always call ahead with that place. Jeff called ahead and we were seated like 10 minutes after we walked through the door. We had about 7-8 other parties look at us like they wanted to kill us cause they probably had been waiting for 40+ minutes. That place is popular!) Everything we had, down to the artichoke dip appetizer was SOOOO delicious! I think I thanked Jeff for taking me there about 30 times alone just while we ate the appetizer, ha ha.

Okay, maybe not that many, but it was at least 26 times.

I highly recommend going there. It's one of my favorites, if not my top favorite, place to eat!

We came home and Jeff got Austenland from the Redbox for us to watch! I had seen it in theaters with my mom and sister, but Jeff had only heard things from his female coworkers about it. I LOVE that movie!! Ha ha ha ha. It's so funny, but has the right amount of romance. It's just a fantastic movie! Jeff was rolling his eyes a lot and ended up playing on his phone about half way through, but he was a trooper to fake laugh when I thought something was extra funny.

Dinner, movie, and the gifts that he got me all equal a wonderful husband who made my birthday great!

I've been thinking about something lately along the lines of having a wonderful husband. I know I talk Jeff up A LOT on this blog and make him sound like a saint, a ginormous sweetheart, a freak of nature fabulous human being.....and to me he is all of those things, but I never want it to seem like I'm trying to one up or be better than anybody that ever reads this.

I think everyone has the ability to find someone who makes them feel that way. I have quite a few close married friends that HAVE that same thing that I have. I know of many people who really do feel like their spouse is the best, and they are right.....they are the best for them.

I think that Jeff is the best....but he's the best for ME. If a single person were to read this and think..."Oh man, I want a husband like Jeff, he seems like he's the best!" They are probably wrong, cause even though he IS the best, he's the best for me, not for them! He understands me, he cares about me.......now I'm just turning into a Me Monster.

Sorry.

I really do think everyone has it in them to find someone who is the best for them. It may seem hard when you're single, or maybe you are married and have forgotten how your spouse is the best for you, but it'll come if you think about the positive.

I was writing in my journal yesterday (believe it or not there ARE more private things in my life than I would even share on this blog) and a big thing I wrote about was how I hope that I can have a very positive attitude as I go into this whole new motherhood thing.

Social media is a weird place. People post WAY too many "I didn't need to know that" kind of a things on there. Some pictures I'm seeing parents post kind of freak me out....ha ha ha, but that's besides the point.

Another thing that social media has done, has been the fact that it creates a HUGE OPEN forum for people to express themselves. They can express how much they hate their lives one minute and how much they can't get enough of their happiness the next. People say how completely in love they are with their spouse, their kids, their baby, their dog one second....and the next they wonder why the people in their lives can't do anything right.

Bipolar. Social media is bipolar.

As I enter motherhood I'm hoping to be a happy and neutral person when it comes to social media. I also hope I feel that way just in my own personal everyday life. I want my little girl to grow up in a well nurtured environment where she knows how much we love her. I've taken too many child development classes to know what happens when parents don't try to cultivate that positive attitude.

With that positive attitude I will leave you with some awesome quotes from some equally awesome apostles. :) 

"In speaking of mothers generally, I especially wish to praise and encourage young mothers. The work of a mother is hard, too often unheralded work. . . . Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. . . .  Remember, 'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven'." -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

 

"I surely know that there is no role more essential or eternal than that of motherhood." -Elder Russell M. Nelson

A humbled pregnant lady full of pride

Fewer times I've felt as humbled as I do now. And I know that in the next 5 or 6 months the humbleness (if that's a word) will become even more so.

Our big news that we announced to the "world" (Facebook) a couple days ago is that....I'm pregnant!

Yay!! Who knew we had so many people that loved us? Way to go, Facebook, you've made me feel special. :)

But really, that's not the humbling part. The humbling part is BEING pregnant. Never before have I been so clueless and worried and yet have so much peace. Isn't that usually how God teaches His children though? When the world (not Facebook this time) wants you to feel one way He steps in and covers you with peace so it's not so bad?

Yep.

That's how it is.

Getting to this point was a long road, but honestly, I don't think I would ever change any of that. My appreciation for my husband is tenfold what I ever imagined it would be. And I feel the same way about the baby. This baby is a miracle to me, which is another reason I think I feel so humbled.

We'll save that long road story for another time though.

Being pregnant.

It's strange.

The biggest thing that has gotten to me is food.

I hate food now. I hate it. Sometimes I just sit in self-loathing thinking.....how could you possibly hate something that you couldn't get enough of before? And then I slap myself across the face (not literally....I think) and give myself a reality check, because I haven't been sick at all during this experience.

I've talked to lots of women who had or have been REALLY sick from pregnancy and I kind of just sheepishly apologize, because I've been as healthy as I've ever been. I feel like they all want to start an anti-Amber club or something once they hear of my tiny misfortune of not liking food.

I think in a lot of ways this misfortune is just as much my husband's as it is mine. So maybe I do have it bad?!?!? I'm effecting those around me?!?

Every day is the great challenge of: "What sounds good to eat?" and after much toil and strife I come up with nothing.

Nothing.

Oh except....

With not wanting anything does come a small category of things that I want ALWAYS. This lists includes: dry cereal, oatmeal, and POTATOES (homemade potatoes only). I guess with potatoes some subcategories like fries go with it too. Any kind of good potato thing.

But really, do I have time to make homemade mashed potatoes for every meal? I have time to eat Cheerios for every meal, but is that giving my baby the stuff it needs? I do have oatmeal for breakfast every day. I don't know if I can change that.

That's another thing I've been very humbled by is feeling like I'm in complete control of another person's life. I am always thinking that I need to eat more fruits and vegetables.....that I need to exercise more. 

Most of the time I tell myself to stop worrying and just live as good as I can, though.

So I'm due on the 4th of July.....

(yay America! We've already come up with a lot of great American themed names, all of which Jeff hates. I think the best one was Jeff's mom's suggestion of "Independence" for a girl and call her "Indie" for short, ha ha ha)

......which makes me 15 1/2 weeks along (yes, I'm claiming that 1/2 week).

Telling everyone has been a hilarious part of this whole thing. I love seeing people's reactions. I think my sister's reaction was probably my favorite.

I first told my mom (who consequently told Dave) the morning Jeff and I found out. I called her and she cried and was so happy and then I could hear Dave in the background (CRYING) (Jk, Dave) being all happy for us too. I love my mom and Dave. So they have known all along. This was back in October.

Then on November 19th, my sister's birthday, I decided to tell her. We were going to Michael Buble in Salt Lake and were meeting her at the Cheesecake Factory to eat first. I had gotten her a present for her birthday and made a little homemade card that I signed: Amber, Jeff, and Baby Robertson.

So we met her down in the parking garage and gave her the presents there so we could keep them in the car. She took my present and was distracted telling us some story so she ripped the card off and threw it into the car, ha ha ha ha. My mom and I were laughing so hard! So she opened my present and was all happy then when she was about to open my mom's present I was like...."uh....do you want to read my card?" and she was still distracted, but was like..."Oh, yeah, okay...".

So she opened it and kind of stared at it for a minute reading it. She got to the signature part and was like..."What......oh....what!?!? REALLY!?!? Oh my gosh!!!!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....it was priceless. Best reaction by far.

We told Jeff's parents at their house one night, because I felt like Jeff's mom should know before most other people. Jeff took forever doing it too....I kept nudging him and being like..."just say it!". There are few other times I've seen him that nervous, it was kind of comical to me. His parents are the best. They've been so supportive of us always!

The next group of people to be told were my dad, Teri, Jacob, and Krissy. We told them at my dad's  house when we went there for our Christmas celebration. I gave my dad a separate present that was a little board book about grandpa and then we printed out our ultrasound that I had typed some things on. I put a little: "Hi Grandpa and Grandma!" thing coming out of the baby's mouth, and then I put "coming July 4th, 2014" at the bottom. This baby is going to be spoiled to have so many grandparents!

Although my sister had the best reaction, I think the next one was my favorite way we told people. We told all of Jeff's family on Christmas day when we were talking to Jeff's sister over Skype who is on her mission. This included all five of his siblings and spouses along with our nine nieces and nephews (who were all happily playing in the background and didn't really know what was going on, ha ha). So....actually his sister on the mission told everybody, and it was hilarious! We had emailed her the week before asking if she would tell everybody over Skype and she was way excited and wanted to do it. I have two sister-in-laws in Jeff's family who are pregnant right now, one due in April and another due in May, so we had Jenessa say she was so excited for the three new babies to come. Everybody kind of paused and thought about it before they realized she was talking about me, ha ha ha ha. It was pretty great.

It's going to be fun having three little babies in the family all pretty much the same age! And no matter which gender we have we'll have a cousin that's the same gender as our baby. Melissa is having a boy and Laurel is having a girl. :) We'll find out what we're having in about a month.

After we told all of our families I did tell some of my closest friends, but it was all lame ways over technology. I never get to see the majority of my friends, so I guess those boring ways are good enough, right? :)

Finally, the last group of people we told was Facebook. We obviously had to tell our workplaces and things like that, but other than that, Facebook was the last thing. I posted this picture....

That pretty much says it all, I think.

We had so much fun making the snowmen! I just laughed and laughed the whole time, it was pretty funny trying to make them look good. The snow was so wet and heavy too. I got tired out pretty fast (I guess I'm pregnant or something) so Jeff and his sister Natalie did most of the building. They were champs! Natalie took the pictures for us and I love them! She's awesome to always take pictures for us. She took our engagements, my graduation pictures, and now these ones.

Last of all for this post I can't get away without oogling (that's a real word) over how incredible Jeff is. Jeff's kind of like the go to make-fun-of-guy for a lot of situations....his family, with his coworkers....he's the kind of guy to put in that situation because he's easy going and let's people do it to him...ha ha.

So I think in a lot of ways people would roll their eyes at the fact that I praise him so much? If that even makes sense.

Cause it does.

I just think most people see him as a person to goof around with.

All of that aside though, he's crazy incredible to me! He's helped me through all of the random times I've cried about nothing during this pregnancy. One time I had a royal fit and sobbed about potatoes (POTATOES, I'm telling you....make me some) for about ten minutes. He's always helped me feel better and loves our baby so much already. His love kind of inspires me. Even though I'm the one actually carrying the baby, and do feel love, a lot of times I'll forget that there is like a PERSON....a real baby in there. Jeff's love has been great in helping me remember that.

He's been so wonderful with school and work too. He's graduating this semester (he doesn't think he is, cause he still has his masters) and I'm SO proud of him. I'm seriously up on my high pedestal with a "GO JEFF!" banner, because of how proud I am.

He also got a promotion to a management position at work and is making good enough money so that I can stay home with the baby after it comes. Do you know how crazy that is? He goes to school full-time and works full-time and he was still impressive enough to get a promotion.

I'm oogling.

Sorry.

I just know that I'm burnt out from only working full-time....so yeah, I'll continue to be impressed. Most of the time I don't even get quite to full-time either cause people cancel on me.....like today! Hence, why I'm blogging. Yay for sick children.............not.

*climbs off pedestal*

Well, all pride aside, I do feel very humbled to be at the stage of life that I am in right now. I'm grateful that I have been able to experience so many things before starting this phase of life with children. I have a feeling it'll be the best stage, but nonetheless, I'm glad I was able to finish school, work for awhile, experience the world a little bit.

God really does know what is best for us. Even when we look at our lives and special order what we think we need at that moment, He's always smarter. I look back at all the small moments that I thought were so big and hard, and I can see that I learned what I needed to learn to be where I am now. I know entering motherhood will be a refiners fire and I'll feel like I know nothing, but I'm kind of welcoming that with open arms.

The world (Facebook this time, again) makes motherhood seem so vicious. I see mothers complain their lives away on Facebook all the time. In lots of ways that scares me that it'll be hard, but then I think of all the good examples of motherhood that I have in my life through my mom, step-mom, mother-in-law, and especially watching all four of my sister-in-laws take care of their children.

I think I have a lot to look forward to. :)

2013

It's the last day of 2013!

What an incredible year. It's definitely been one of the biggest, if not THE biggest year of growth for me.

2013 was not without it's trials, nor was it without its joys! I definitely learned a lot this year.

January started my last semester of school. I absolutely loved it! Teaching pre-school is so rewarding. I still dream of having my own pre-school in my home someday.

One of the worst things about working with kids is you can't post all of the ADORABLE pictures you take of them during your experience with them. (Can you say lawsuit??) So this picture will have to do. Teacher Amber. Ha ha.

I had the BEST supervising teacher ever who taught me more than I could ever imagine about the great profession I chose. I was way blessed to learn from her. I want to model my future pre-school and classroom after her.

I think I've said this several times, but I can't believe how fortunate I was to be guided toward early childhood. Most of my existence I thought I'd be teaching elementary school, but when I took that faithful leap toward early childhood, I think it was one of the best things I've ever done.

Early Childhood is way more than just knowing about little kids. It's about understanding family dynamics, how to have a healthy family/life, parenting styles, how the community and environment effect everything and everyone in it. I feel very blessed that I was inspired to make that change. I feel like it's going to help me a lot in raising children and it's already helping me a ton with the work I do in the homes of the children I do therapy with.

Yay early childhood!

Anyways, January through April was nothing but student teaching! I also did "work experience" at a daycare, which was interesting. I've blogged about that before, I think.

Saying it was "interesting" is probably where I'll leave that at before I go onto my soapbox. :)

March was our two year anniversary!

We went up to Logan for a weekend getaway. Jeff and I aren't the most exciting people ever. (Is he going to roll his eyes that I just said that?) (Yes.) We just like spending time together. We don't need all of the extra thrilling stuff that people go do, I guess is what I'm trying to say. Seriously, our idea of fun is just hanging out together and relaxing. We aren't like a lot of people I see on Facebook who post about all of the exciting activities they do with their spouse, ha ha.

On a related note, one thing that I've noticed recently is the fact that I'm the kind of friend who is completely okay with going six or so months without talking to a friend and then picking up exactly where we left off. I don't think a lot of people are like that though, so I think I make some people sad by not talking to them for a long time. I never really realized that about myself till recently, though. I still consider all of my best friends from childhood up through college to be my best friends, talked to or not talked to.

That's a big thing with getting married that I think I was okay with. I didn't really feel like I needed any other friends besides Jeff after we got married.  I didn't really feel like I needed to hang out with anyone but him, and in a lot ways I think that's how it should be. I was just happy to be with him. And I still am!

Here's a picture of us eating at the Gaucho Grill up in Logan for our anniversary. Yummy stuff!

I'm so lucky I married this man! He's definitely the firm rock of sanity in our family. He tells me (nicely) when I'm being ridiculous (every day) and helps me be as happy as I can be. We laugh a lot, probably much to the annoyance of our neighbors, cause it's usually long and loud. I'm lucky to have him love me as much as he does. He's the greatest for me.

April brought graduation which was a CRAZY happy day! I think I've had few other days that were quite that happy. It's seriously the best feeling to know you're done. No more papers, no more requirements, no more responsibilities (until you get a job, ha ha).

One of the most vivid things I'll remember from that day was when my grandpa came up to me and said it made him very happy that I kept my middle name after I got married. Pretty much everything surrounding graduation had my middle name on it. My announcement, the program with all the grads names, my diploma..... Amber Margean Robertson.

Margean is my grandma's name, that's why it was special to my grandpa.

I love that man! I miss him and grandma a lot.

I had so many people support me along the way to graduation, I could never thank them all properly. Everything else about that day is kind of a big hazy, happy blur.

Moving on to growing up after graduation, that didn't really happen for another month or so. I rode this beauty...................

  

......for what I thought was going to be another summer, but only turned out being a month. Oh mow crew, the best summers were with the mow crew. Summer doesn't seem like summer unless you're outside all day (mowing grass).

But nothing can last forever, right? 

At the end of May I got my job that I currently do now! 

SO many pictures. SOOOOOOOOO many pictures I wish I could post of these wonderful autistic kids that I work with everyday, but sadly.........(lawsuit)........I can't. 

It's such a tiring job, but makes me smile and feel so fulfilled at the same time. The kids I work with are the very best. Some of them come from rock-star families, some come from heart breaking situations, but no matter what house I'm going into on any given day I always feel so blessed to work with who I do. Social services can be so draining because you put in so much emotion and want so much for the people you work with. It's also very rewarding though, because with that excess of emotion come all the good feelings of helping people. 

I've blogged a lot about my job, and still will, so I'll pretty much leave it at that. I will post some great pictures that my kids have taken of me as they've stolen my phone or iPad. 

Don't I look so lovely?

July came and brought us our California extravaganza of a vacation! I pretty much took Jeff everywhere in California that I love. Disneyland, Yosemite and Sequoia National Parks......

I have so much appreciation for these places now that I'm older. I grew up going places all over the country every year. Now that I'm an adult I can see how wonderful it was to be able to go here, there, and everywhere growing up. 

Here are a couple highlights from California..........

(Never a dull moment with my family. Oh yeah, did I mention The Chic, Mom, and Dave came for the first part of the trip?? Oh yeah, they did. Love them all, ha ha.)

 Teacups! Ha ha ha ha ha. (sorry Jeff)

 SOOO much fun!!!! I want to go back every single day. No joke.

 So breath taking!

Favorite part of the trip! (besides all of the other favorites :) )

I love showing Jeff all of things I grew up visiting. I don't think I'll ever be able to catch up and show him everything, but at least I can show him my favorites! Have I mentioned how he's the best? Ok, yeah, I have. 

The rest of summer was full of Real Salt Lake games! My dad and Teri invited me and my siblings down to a bunch of games this summer which Jeff and I loved! We kind of love soccer a lot. 

 Rimando is my favorite! He's the best.

August brought on school for Jeff and a new work schedule for me! This semester FLEW by! It went by way faster than any one I was ever in (jealous). Seriously August to December was a whirlwind. We just worked worked worked and Jeff went to school. 

My mom, sister, and I went to quite a few concerts this fall! Josh Groban and Michael Buble being the primary and most important.  

We had KILLER good seats for Josh's concert so I got a lot better pictures of him, I still thought this picture of Michael Buble was good though! They are both so incredibly talented!

We did all of the normal holiday festivities which are always fun too! 

 Halloween

 Thanksgiving at the cabin!

 Christmas on Temple Square (looking like thugs)

We have so many families that love us! We are really blessed to have so many parents that look after us and are so good to us. I couldn't ask for better parents and their spouses who have become loving parents for me too. I have the best in-laws who care so much about me and Jeff! They are the greatest. Our holidays were filled with lots of love and  happiness. 

One sad thing that happened this holiday season was my family had to put my dog Sparky down. :( He was pretty old and had almost gone blind and deaf. He couldn't really walk very well either. It was really sad, but it had to be done really for his sake. Poor doggie.

Even though I tortured that dog when he was younger (ha ha) I always would remind him that I was the one who wanted him. When I was in sixth grade I begged and begged and begged and BEGGED my dad to let me get a dog. My sister and I researched dogs on the internet and kind of had a period of time where we were obsessed with learning about dog breeds. We picked the Pembroke Welsh Corgi and ended up having the best dog ever. 

I loved that little weirdo. He was fiercely obedient and always so loving.

Sparticus Raydar Shadow Hunter. Da Vada. Da Va. Deh Veh. 

I love my doggie. 

Overall this year has taught me that God's tender mercies are everywhere and sometimes it takes a broken heart to remember that. I feel like prayer is a never ending process. Heavenly Father definitely teaches me that I need Him ALL the time, and I'm thankful for that. I'm glad I know the Gospel is true. I'm glad I have a Savior who can help me along the way! 

I grew a lot spiritually this year. Whether it was on days when I really wanted to or not, I found myself growing a lot. I found lots of peace this year amongst the hard times. I might tell this blog about the hard times someday, but today is for sure not that day. 

The year is ending on a lot of high notes though! 2013 was a great year and one I'll never take for granted.

I guess that's a summary of our year! We had a lot of fun and still continue to. I'm lucky to have a husband who would do anything for me and treats me so great. 

Happy New Year, Everyone! Like I said in my last post, I don't have any resolutions for this upcoming year, I just pretty much expect it to be fantastic. (No pressure, 2014...) 

Till next year.......... :)

Gratitude at Work

I woke up this morning with my mind kind of exploding, so I figured I'd let it explode all over my blog. This might not be a good idea, ha ha.

Today's a happy day for multiple reasons. It's Friday, that's always a wonderful thing. Even though I work on Saturdays I still consider Fridays to be the end of my week. It's the Friday before Christmas, that's a really happy thing too! It's December 20th, which I honestly can't believe and I'm very cryptically happy about that too.

What happens on December 20th? Nothing really. I don't have any significant plans today. I don't really have any plans at all. I'm going to work, I'm coming home, I'll probably eat dinner...

I guess part of my brain exploding encompassed just a lot of happiness for today.

So there's that.

I've been feeling very blessed lately which probably has a lot to do with Christmas.

In the past two weeks Jeff and I have both had our work Christmas parties and they were both really great! Starting with mine, it was at the Joseph Smith Building in Salt Lake and there were a TON of people there that I didn't know. My company is huge....it started primarily in Salt Lake so that is where the bulk of employees are, but we also have "north", "south", and "remote" regions that kids get services in. The north region is where I am. Weber and Davis counties. The south is like...Provo, Lehi, American Fork etc. And remote is everywhere else in the state....Vernal, St. George....so remote, right? Ha ha. It has a lot more cities than that, but that's all I'm going to spell out for you.

So really, I only know the people in my team.....the north people....the the CEO who works with us from Salt Lake. The north is a smaller region too so we only have like....10 employees up here.

The party was so much fun though despite me not knowing most of the people. We had great food, an awesome raffle (where I didn't win anything, but that's okay, who needs a tablet or a Go-Pro camera or a spa package or diamond earrings or...) and we did white elephant gifts which are always funny. The best part though was that the main bosses/CEOs put together a gift for everyone. They had coworkers and client's parents write about each of us and put what they said on a frame for us to keep. The picture in the middle is of a dandy lion flower, because "we never know where our influence is going to spread". It made me pretty emotional reading what my client's parents and coworkers said about me.

I have so much gratitude for the company I work for. They help SO many families, it's insane. I never want to work for another company that is less charitable to families than this one is. Even though I get paid to do what I do, I always end my day feeling like I gave some kind of service to the people I was with that day.

I'm not trying to make myself sound like a saint, it really is completely all because of the two ladies who started the company and run it today. I'm very grateful that they are giving me the chance to live my life like I am right now.

Something else that was making me really happy the other day, (I wanted to write it in a Facebook status, but it's way too long and complicated for that.....) is the fact that all of my kids....all nine of them....know my name and use it ALL the time.

I know that sounds way silly, BUT....it makes me very happy.

I've had a plethora of jobs where I've worked with kids before.....

Whether it was my art teaching job where they called me "Miss Hunter", at the autistic pre-school or my student teaching where I was "Teacher Amber", the YMCA where I was simply "Amber", to name a few.............all of those times I had plenty of kids who remembered my name. Don't get me wrong, most of the children I've worked with have remembered my name. But with this job it's on a far more deep and personal level.

I go into the homes of these children. I talk to their parents about serious things. I play with their siblings. I take care of their needs and help them one on one. I never really had that level of interaction with any of the kids at the schools I worked for. So when my little autistic kids say: "Help me, Amber!" or "Amber, did you say something?" or "Mom, Amber is here!" It just feels different to me. And it's a very happy different.

I actually go to a school for one session a month to check up on one of my cute kids, and I have to say....I do LOVE being in schools. I know why I wanted to be a teacher (and still want to be teacher) for as long as I have. I love schools.

 I've also been grateful for Jeff's job lately. We went to his work Christmas party the other night and it was fun listening to his coworkers. His work used to do big parties at the corporate office with everyone who works for them, but the past two years we've just gone out to eat with just the accounting department.

The accounting department is mostly women with one other guy that works there besides Jeff. Jeff and the other guy get teased a lot by all of the women, it's pretty funny.

It'll be interesting to see what happens with Jeff's work in the next little while. If I had it my way he'd just stay at Goldenwest for a long time. I guess I just get comfortable and like knowing where the future is going to be. That's not all that probable though. His work doesn't have a lot of room for CPA's, and since that's going to be him hopefully sooner than later, we are bound to move on to somewhere else. Jeff does enjoy working there though and his bosses know he's an extremely hard worker.

I've been thinking a lot about 2014 and if I want to make any resolutions or not. I'm not very good at resolutions. I think I do better with goals if it's something I'm 200% excited about it and if I don't have a lot of pressure to do it. For those two reasons I've never been wildly successful with New Years resolutions.

The longer I'm married the more and more I realize that living life day by day is the happiest way to be. I think I have Jeff to thank for that and for molding me into a more reasonable person. In a lot of ways I'm definitely far off from being completely reasonable, but he makes me better. I'll get there someday.

After I got married/went through the temple I had a friend tell me that my blog isn't really relevant anymore because the title says: "I'm Going There Someday....", insinuating that I'm going to the temple someday like in the primary song.

I never really meant for my blog to be about going to the temple. Obviously when I started it a couple years prior to my marriage I wanted to go to the temple someday.....but my blog has always been about where I'm going in life. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. I guess for that reason I've always been better at really small goals that take me gradually where I want to go. No New Years resolutions for me. :)

Right now I need to get going so I can get to work on time! Merry Christmas next week!

Entitlement Eggs

Have you ever been so tired that you want to take pictures of your messy house and post them on the internet just so people would feel bad for you??

Me neither.

Ha. Oh wait....yeah, that's been my month week.

That's weird though. Like really weird. And I'm sure people wouldn't pity me. I'd just be the weirdo that they'd click on my picture and "share in a private message" with all of their close friends so they can all laugh at me. (Because I've never done that before........cough.)

Ha ha, sorry, I'll move on. Morale of the story....I'm tired.

And by "morale" I mean "moral".

I may have lost all of my "morale" until Monday. Hooray for Fridays!

Being tired is better than being a lot of things though! Being tired means I've done something to make myself that way. For example......I could have worked really hard, partied really late, Facebook stalked when I should have been sleeping, talked to my husband for too many hours of the night.... any option besides partied late is probably what I did.

Anyways, onto something of substance.

I love my job more than any other job I could have right now, but man, it's hard work!

I mowed lawns for six summers in the heat of the day, totally wearing myself out, but I can honestly say the job I have now is far more tiring than any of that!

Lately I've been likening one part of my job to an abusive relationship. Don't get me wrong (keep reading my explanation for clarification), only one of my clients makes me feel this way. The reason it's an abusive relationship is....well....he punches me a lot, for one (it's in the job description, don't worry), but during his sessions I'm very much walking on egg shells the whole time. If I say something wrong it turns into a full blown tantrum. Chairs go flying, fists go flailing....

This kid is three years old......

....so I'm not going to actually get hurt...it just seems like it by the way I'm describing it.

Autistic children are so interesting. Seriously, they fascinate me more than anything else in this world. I could spend the rest of my life studying them and never want a different job. But, really, a big part of that is the crazy child development loving side of me.

I love working with kids like my egg shell boy, because when I DO see progress it makes me cry and I want to dance!

*and maybe I do dance*

I'm just grateful he's the only person, in my life, I have to walk on egg shells with.

I have a lot of kids that I work with who are SO happy, it's such a relief to work with them when I do. They never get angry, they are just the biggest hyper pieces of work you'll ever meet. I love working with these kids because they are usually so loving and just want you to love them back. They are also the most fun to see progress, because they are so innocent and tenderhearted that you want them to learn and grow so much.

My job is really interesting because I get to work directly with families. Watching the way parents handle their children....especially their autistic children.....is something I love analyzing.

I'm not a parent.

I don't really know what it's like. I've taken lots of classes on it, but I don't know anything of the reality of parenting. I know that someday I'll look back at my "analyzing" and think that I was too critical of most parents.

I work with some families that are, in my mind, AMAZING parents! Any parent of a child with autism is amazing for sacrificing so much, but really I work with some of the best parents I've ever seen. They are so patient and hard working. They have to deal with some of the craziest stuff.

But like most situations I also have some parents who (as my mom has so awesomely coined the phrase...) have given their children entitlement disorder.

Dealing with entitlement disorder is hard.

An abnormally HUGE part of my job is not giving in to what the child whines/cries about. I know that sounds silly, but it's true! My kids have to work for rewards, and a lot of the time they don't want to. If they want the iPad they have to do what I say. If they want candy they need to listen to me.

Easier said than done.

I've worked with children who get what they want at home, so when they are with me they scream when they aren't rewarded immediately without working. I've had some kids who have screamed, kicked, cried, and been SO mad at me for forty-five minutes straight, but I still can't give in to them.

Does that seem ridiculous? Forty-five minutes?

Yeah, that IS ridiculous, for a parent who has to deal with their child all day everyday. I understand that anybody would pull out their hair by doing that.

BUT....

But, the children that tantrum for that long are the ones who have been conditioned to get what they want by crying.

Autistic children are different in many ways and can't be lumped with typical developing children when it comes to these tantrums I'm referring to though.  It's a whole different world.

In the end, you can probably tell that I've been thinking way too hard about parenting styles and my cute autistic children lately.

Is anyone else glad it's the weekend? Me too. 

Well, that's the end to my unprofessional soapbox of the day. Unprofessional being the key word.

Even though a nap sounds glorious right now, I better go get dinner ready.........

JK, carry out pizza it is!

Happy Friday! 

Past, Present, and....

It's been pretty windy lately and with all of the loose leaves on the trees it makes for a wonderful shower when you walk outside. This is especially true in my yard, because I live in an older part of town and there are mammoth trees everywhere! It makes me want to never live in a new neighborhood.... although we probably still will someday.

Someday. Oh the future.

I've definitely been living in the past lately, because my family has been cleaning out my grandparents house. They had so many cool things that I never knew about! My grandma passed away a year ago this month, and my grandpa just over two months ago so we're getting their house cleaned out and ready to sell.

I sure do miss them. That'll never change.

They were the fun grandparents that went everywhere with us growing up.....no matter if it was Disneyland, Canada, Florida, Maryland, and the other hundred places we went.

I remember one time I was at one of those special night's for young women's and one of my teachers said to me: "Isn't it so fun that your grandma comes to things like this?" I was maybe twelve so I probably responded (mentally: "yeah, k, whatever...") in my shy way: "Oh yeah....sure, it's fun."

But then she said something to me that really stuck with me.... she told me that other grandmas aren't as involved as mine was. She said that I was really lucky that my grandma cared so much about me and wanted to see me always succeed.

I had never realized that.

I never knew that my grandma went above and beyond the call. I mean it makes sense....she was great....but still, sometimes it takes a completely impartial observer to make you realize how blessed you are.

As time went by, the more I looked at it, the more true it was. My grandma was always there. She loved us so much!

It's been fun going through their house with my mom and looking at everything they had. They had a pretty simple life, but they knew what really mattered. They loved having fun! Even though my grandma worried about everyone, it wasn't possible to see her and not hear her laughing at least 70% of the time. Most of that probably was due to my grandpa never wanting to be serious, ha ha.

I'm not writing this to make myself or anyone else sad. I really don't feel sad when I think about my grandparents. Like I said, I'll never stop missing them, but they were never sad, so why should I be?

It's interesting to think about timing. I think about timing all the time! Why does one person have to leave this earth when they do. Why did this person achieve this accomplishment when they did. Why do some people have to go through hard trials at times in their lives that seem to be the exact wrong time.

If I've learned anything from the year 2013, it's that timing is everything. It sets up everything. It changes everything. It means everything.

So in the end, timing will happen and it's just a matter of being prepared when it does.

2013 is almost over. We really only have two more months. I can't really believe it, actually. It's been the hardest year, but it's also been the best year. I've learned to live in the present, which is a REALLY big deal. 

I've always been a past and future kind of girl. The present is hard because you have to try living in it while remembering the past and simitaneously worrying about the future. Somehow, this year though, I've learned to live in the present. :)

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, and today's a gift - that's why they call it the present."