3 Years

A couple of months ago when Jeff's family was trying to figure me out and get to know me one of his brother's read my blog! Ha ha! This was back when Facebook looked a little different and the link to my blog was a lot more readily available! His brother told him that he thought I wrote my blog like it was my journal and well....the truth is (besides the fact that this blog doesn't nearly go as deep as what I would write in an actual journal) that's true! This blog wasn't ever really meant for people to read. I mostly just write it for myself, but when I started writing it I had enough friends that wanted to read it too so I kept it open!

That being said...a journal is a journal and therefore this blog may contain secrets that the outside world shouldn't know. (that's mostly an exaggeration, ha ha)

I've officially gone to the temple every week for three years now.

Whoa.

:) Ha ha!

Do I feel accomplished?? Yeeees. However, in a sense I feel like I have so much more to learn now, rather than thinking I'm all knowing of the Gospel since I did that.

I truly have learned that no matter how many times you go to the temple there is always more and more to learn. Because of the temple I can really see that I have so much to improve on.

I've learned so much about myself and I'm grateful for that. Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and recently I've learned that it's good to recognize those weaknesses, but then you just need to let them go. You're never going to get away from something if you don't loosen your grasp.

I've been dating Jeff for about 5 1/2 months now and I've learned many things, but one thing I've learned is that you can't hold on to the past. Jeff is so sweet and has accepted me despite all of my weirdness. I feel like second to my Savior he really does understand me better than anyone I've ever known.

Jeff and I are going to get married in a couple of months and in all honesty, I'm kind of worried about my temple attendance once that happens. Trust me....it's not that he'll pull me away from the temple....if anything he'll bring me closer to it, but I've just noticed while he and I have been dating that life is so much more busy when you are scheduling around two lives.

I know that once we are married, our lives week to week we might run out of time to do stuff and we'll justify that going to the temple can wait till next week. Endowments take longer to do than baptisms so I can see that being a justification too.

People might think....well, you've gone every week for three years so shouldn't it be easier by now??

I guess you'd think that, but just because I've gone so much for that amount of time doesn't mean I'm perfect, ya know?

You think about King David and how incredibly righteous he was. He was such an amazing guy and he just let one moment in his tiny bit of existence completely turn him around.

I obviously don't plan on being like King David, because that's a pretty dramatic example, but as long as we're on this earth we are going to be tempted by Satan.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm really excited to get endowed! I've been waiting for it for so long, it seems. These past, I dunno, 8 years that I've been doing baptisms have been great and in a lot of ways have been the thing that has shaped my testimony the most (especially the past 3 years), but I can't help but feel that it's time to move on in a sense.

Doing baptisms is a huge blessing for the people that you're doing the work for. That's really all the temple is, is one huge blessing, but when you get your endowments taken out and get sealed to your eternal companion....that's totally all for YOU.

The main thing I love about doing baptisms is thinking of the twenty or so sisters that I'm performing the ordinance for and thinking about how they can progress after I am their proxy. With my endowment and sealing....it's all for me! And that's exciting to me! I feel like it's going to bring me closer to God and closer to the plan that He has for me.

I know that Heavenly Father put Jeff in my life for a reason. I don't really believe in destiny....or soul mates....or things like that....but I do believe that God knew Jeff and I needed each other. I know that He knew he was perfect for me. I wish every person could feel that way about another person.....love someone so much you can't imagine not being with them for eternity.

I think for most of the world "eternity" is a really scary concept. That's why so many people resort to things that make them instantly happy or bring immediate gratification because they are afraid of thinking about things long term and thinking about "eternity". Since so many people don't even believe in God I'm sure eternity doesn't cross their minds that much anyways.

I've come to realize though that an eternal relationship like the one Jeff and I are going to have takes a lot of patience and time to grow. That's why I'm really glad that he made sure we were friends first before we started dating.

"The real life we're preparing for is eternal life. Secular knowledge has for us eternal significance. Our conviction is that God, our Heavenly Father, wants us to live the life that He does. All we can learn that is true while we are in this life will rise with us in the Resurrection. And all that we can learn will enhance our capacity to serve."
-President Henry B. Eyring

I'm really looking forward to getting my endowments and being sealed! I truly am so blessed. The thought of being with Jeff for eternity brings me so much peace. I love him. Truly.

I feel like this transition of moving from baptisms to endowments will be a good change. For the longest time I was dreading it because I LOVE doing baptisms, but I've finally gotten to the point where I'm just so excited to move forward that it's good now!

I still have about 3 more months doing baptisms and then hopefully Jeff will take me to the temple every week after that! I'm crossing my fingers.... :)