Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder where I would be without certain experiences I've had in my life...

I'm taking a class this semester that has really changed my life. It's Children's Literature.

You're thinking......ha.....she's being sarcastic....

Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure it's the best class I've ever taken. Don't let the title fool you either....it's not an easy class. We have had tons of work all semester long, including having to read 29 books. Yes, I know that's not a big deal for most people when they are considered "children's literature", but I'm not most people. :)

This class has been super beneficial to how I view education and how I'm going to act as a teacher someday.

Someday is such a vague word. Hmmmm...someday. I actually don't plan on being a teacher for a very long time and in lots of ways that scares me. I'm going to forget everything! No....probably not, but it's still interesting to think about "someday".

Which leads me to wondering....

Sometimes I wonder where I would be if my schooling hadn't turned out like it has. I still have 5 semesters of school till I graduate. I've KNOWN since my senior year in high school that I was going to do elementary ed. And now....3 1/2 years later I still have 5 semesters to go, ha ha.

It really does make me think that Heavenly Father knows a lot more about my situation than I do. Seriously, every semester I think to myself, 'well, God must know why I'm still this behind. He must know why I couldn't get into the stupid....I mean... totally awesome CHF 2610 class for the third time.' Ha ha ha! :)

Sometimes I wonder why things turn out like they do, but in the end I always find the answer: Heavenly Father knows why, it's ok if I don't.

Sometimes I wonder why......people think so differently from me. I have people in my life at work and school that I just stare at them sometimes (and sometimes they stare back which is awkward) and just think....ehhhh, k?

Ha ha. I'm not saying I don't like these people, because I really do! I just don't understand them. How they talk about their husbands, kids, lives....it's all so polar opposite of how I feel and I can't help but wonder.....why would anyone think that way?

For example, in my Spanish class today we were given the assignment to talk about/debate with the other table of students IN Spanish of course (oy) if getting married is essential to one's happiness. My table was given the assignment to argue why it's NOT essential....and the other table was given opinion of why it IS.

I just laughed the whole time while we were "planning" what we were going to say. It was me and four single girls who all had really strong opinions that getting married is not the thing to do. One girl was going NUTS over how she never needs a man and how her mother should get out of her life and stop telling her she needs to get married. Another girl was very passionate about how cohabitation is the way to go and getting married only leads to responsibility and children.

Seriously I was just laughing the whole time. Maybe that's immature of me....?...yeah, probably is.

This is my firm belief....and I'm not gonna say it in Spanish....

Getting married is the best thing anyone could ever do and leads to more happiness than any other alternative.

The girls in my group were arguing that marriage is 'not as easy and people think it's going to be' (since they are experts) and that people end up miserable and unhappy with their spouse so why would you get married in the first place?

I agree that marriage is hard at times, but it's only miserable if you make it that way. You're only unhappy if you choose that route. If you work with your spouse to be happy and be in love then.....it will happen.

The support that you get from a loving spouse is the BEST thing you could ever ask for. Not wanting the responsibility of being married is an easy way to say you're
too selfish to take care of someone besides yourself.

The happiest I've ever been has been since I've been married. I couldn't be happier with my life right now. :)

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't so shy. Jeff never fails to point out when I'm being shy and it always makes me cringe.

I grew up as the shy girl. At home I was a complete weirdo that would never shut up, but as soon as I left my front door I always had the shy face on. It wasn't till I was in 9th grade that I started to be.....not as shy?

Anybody that really has taken the time to know me knows I'm not shy, but the vast majority of the world thinks I most certainly am, ha ha.

I have some co-workers that are.....lovely....and they talk about questionable things. They are all either kinda LDS or not LDS (by kinda I mean- they are on Sundays and aren't afraid to admit it?) so they talk about things, swear, whatever whatever and after they are done/in the middle of saying something/swearing they look and me for a reaction. Most often they look at me and say "I feel so bad being naughty in front of you, Amber......*pause to wait for reaction*"

Ya know, I hate when people put me in that situation...ha ha ha. Because it t-otally puts me in my shy mode. (Yes, I have different modes) When people do that to me (and I firmly believe they are forcing it upon me *sarcasm*) my face goes red, I awkwardly say "...it's ok" and then their view of me is confirmed.

In a way, I am grateful to be viewed that way though. As urkful as it is to be labeled shy my whole life I would much rather be viewed that way than be someone who swears along with them. I'm grateful that it is blaringly obvious that I'm LDS and live those standards.

In the end, it brings me back to sometimes I wonder why people say and live the way they do. So....fascinating.

Agency is a wonderful thing, huh?

Well, those ponderings pretty much sum up my life lately! Jeff and I are doing just swell. Only 3 (ish) more weeks in the semester! I'm all registered for next semester so that's a relief!

“Live so that those who know you, but don’t know Him, will want to know Him because they know you.”