Movin' through the adventures of life.....

I'm done with my job at the YMCA.

I start a new phase of my life tomorrow which will be totally different.

It's weird.

I learned a lot while working at the Y. I learned lots of good things. I learned lots of bad things. I learned lots of things that changed how I view the world.

I have a completely different view about: low income families, single parent families, Latino American families, African American families, Asian American families..............than I did before I started working there.

All in all I'm SO grateful I had the experience I had to work there. It really did humble me in ways I didn't think a situation like that would.

I love learning through children. They really are the best. The kids at my job really made my last week hard too by constantly hugging me, telling me they love me, telling me that I'm their favorite, telling me they wish I was their mom........

The majority of the kids I worked with came from hard situations. One boy in particular broke my heart this last week. He's a fourth grade boy who has a really weird/hard family and doesn't have a lot of love in his life. He was getting suspended from school a lot and was just kind of in a dark place.

He was one of our least favorite kids to work with cause he seemed to always cause problems.

Well, I was in charge of his homework group and making sure he got his homework done every week. On Tuesday I was helping him add fractions and it was being really hard for him. I tried making it fun and lighthearted and he seemed to be more at ease by how I was handling the situation. After we worked longer than any of the other kids, I told him I would go get him some Valentine's candy. He told me that he wanted a green conversation heart that said "Be Mine" on it. He said he wanted to give it to his Valentine, ha ha ha!

So I told him I would find one for him. (And I'm not an empty promise kind of teacher!)

I went and got the bag of candy and looked through it while my coworker talked to the kids during our daily meeting. The boy who I was finding the candy for watched me for a good seven minutes during the meeting, all the while I was looking for his heart.

When I finally found a green one with "Be Mine" on it I went over and gave it to him.

I think I'll always remember the look that was on his face.

He had this raw look that didn't have a ton of feeling behind it, but to me it almost meant: "I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that you cared enough to look for that heart for me." It made me realize that he probably doesn't have adults in his life that take time out of their lives to do things like that for him.

In the end, that heart really didn't need to be found. In fact, if I wouldn't have found it he probably would have gotten over it pretty quickly.

What he did because I DID find that piece of candy was the heartbreaking part.

We have clubs everyday and during clubs he made me a rain stick. Ha. He was in a recycled art club so he used some paper towel tubes, a water bottle, some beans, and a whole bunch of duct tape to make me a rain stick.  And again when he gave it to me he had that raw emotionless look on his face almost saying: "please, accept it.".

Working with kids... you get tons and TONS of pictures, things made for you, etc. but this time it felt SO different. I knew he was proud of himself for making it for me. Especially after I enthusiastically accepted it he seemed very pleased with himself.

The hardest part of leaving that job was not knowing what the future holds for all of those children. I learned to love all of them. It's different working with low income children.

When I've worked at other elementary schools I've always left the kids knowing that they at least are going to be given some kind of chances in life. Like when I worked in Layton I knew that the large majority of the kids that I taught would go to college without a second thought, would be able to buy a house someday, or would be able to get a decent job in the future.

It's hard working within the cycle of poverty because it's harder for those children to break out of it. Realizing that you're leaving all of that behind is the hardest part for me.

Well, tomorrow I start my internship. I hope it works out! I'm kind of  nervous about it.

I only have about two more months till graduation though! Spring break is only in two weeks and then once that is over I think the rest of the semester will fly by. I've really loved my student teaching so far! It's been a really big learning experience, but it's a very forgiving environment which is perfect for learning.

In other news, it's my birthday on Thursday! Jeff's been asking me what I want for my birthday and the only answer I have is......"preschool stuff!"

Ha ha ha ha.

I'm lame.

His answer to that is always: "k, but you're not going to need any of that for a long time."

(I probably really don't need anything like that till I have my own at home preschool, and that's not going to be for a couple more eons.)

Anywho, I'm going to be twenty-three. Which is old. So. Old! :)

Last week was Valentine's Day too. My poor husband has to get me stuff for Valentine's and then exactly a week later he has to do stuff for my birthday. Poor dude.

I love him a lot and I get way too spoiled by him!

I was telling Jeff the story of the boy making me the rain stick and I was telling him that I never want our children to feel the way that boy did in that moment. I want to let our kids know that they are loved SO much every day. I want them to know that I love them enough that I will spend seven pointless minutes to find them a little piece of candy. I want my kids to know that I will stop everything else that's happening to spend a minute with them. And just them.

It might seem like I'm being a little dramatic about this situation........but I think it's important to protect childhood and foster proper child development.

You'd think I was a child development major or something, huh?

Ha.

I love kids!

I'm sure I'll love the new ones I'm going to meet at my internship tomorrow too.

Onto my new adventure!