Done

You know how they say the last little bit of pregnancy takes forever, cause you're anticipating having the baby so much??

I'm feeling that... times a million.

In lots of ways I've felt that throughout the whole pregnancy, thanks to one lame word....

Diabetes.

Baaaaah....

I try to stay positive.

And I think I do?

Am?

I think I AM positive.

But man.............

Being on such a tight leash for so long is just.........

Done.

I'm done.

I'm SO done!

Ha ha ha.

The baby at the end is worth it, for sure. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't keep doing this if it wasn't worth it.

This baby is playing games with my heart for sure, though.

I'm already dilated to a 4.... which.... I did the same thing with both Grace and Hunter a couple weeks before delivering, so this is nothing new to me. My mom is always amazed that this is the case.

"How are you WALKING around at a 4?!?"

I dunno, Mom. That's just how I roll, I guess.

This feels different this time. I don't know why. I keep thinking I won't make it a couple more weeks.

I'm almost 37 weeks, which is when Hunter was born.

This baby is already measuring bigger than Hunter (c'mon please be a 7 pound baby!!), but there is still always that fear that he'll need all that extra care like Hunter did.

I'm up and down all day about it.

Come.

Don't come.

I'm done.

I'm fine not being done.

I'm okay.

I'm SO NOT OKAY!!!

Ha ha ha ha ha

One miracle of miracles is that my blood sugar has been pretty rocking the past week or so. That's a huge relief.

The 2nd trimester was bad this time around. My blood was not cooperative at all.

The 3rd trimester, which is usually the worst for pregnant diabetics, hasn't been too bad.

I'm taking like.....almost triple the amount of insulin than I take when I'm NOT pregnant..... which ya know..... is great.

It's awesome having that much medicine pumped into you throughout the day.

All day.

Every day.

Hooray!

As far as where my blood sugar is, though, I have been doing really well.

This has been my blood sugar for the past 24 hours. I know this means basically nothing to 98% of people that would read this, but hey.... this is more like a journal for me and it means everything to me! 

The blood sugar fairies have blessed me recently for unknown reasons. I know a lot of it has to do with the management that I handle, but really..... diabetes has no rules and doesn't care how hard you try. Ha ha ha. So these numbers are wonderful. 

Well, I am hoping for the best over the next couple of weeks. Hoping I don't drive myself crazy wondering when this baby is going to come. 

It's a strange thing, because I am going nuts over it, but at the same time I feel a lot of peace. I know he'll be okay and he'll come when he needs to. 

Overall, I'm grateful that God has allowed me to be this little boy's mom. I feel like I have known him for a long time, which may be why the anticipation is so strong. I started having dreams, vivid dreams, about him long before I was pregnant with him. I know he's going to be a special part of our family. No matter when he comes, it will be good. 

Whenever I am done, it will be the right time.