You're quiet and don't write on your blog.
Ha ha ha ha
Sorry for the silence.
Life.
Life is SO busy!
Yesterday I literally never sat down.
That's not true...
I sat down when I was driving.
I went to two grocery stores, preschool drop off and pick up, made two dishes for a church party (on top of the normal meals I feed my family), went to the church to set up for said church party, went to a doctor's appointment for myself, went to the church party, and amid all of that was a mom to three very small children.
It was an abnormally busy day.
But life IS getting busier by the day.
So much out there to cloud my mind.
At the beginning of this year I made the goal to be more intentional.
To be more present.
To be OFF my phone and IN my kids face.
Have I done well with that goal?
Some days, sure.
Lots of days I fall on MY face and have to try again.
My goal for 2020 is a selfish goal.
I am going to focus on self care.
Does that mean I'm going to go get my nails done more often?
No.
Does that mean I am going to go buy a bunch of stuff that makes me happy?
No.
Does that mean I'm going to take a vacation away from my kids!?
I wish.
Jk.
No.
Probably not this year.
Self care for me, means actually..........
Caring....
About....
Myself.
Cause ya know what?
I DON'T!
Ha ha ha ha ha
When it comes down to it... I don't.
I would give anything all day to make my kids feel safe.
I try my hardest to make sure my husband feels happy and loved at home.
As a wife and mother I fall... again... on my face when it comes to making sure I feel safe. Or loved. Or happy.
The truth is.... I do feel those things. My family helps me feel those things. But do I help myself feel those things?
I don't know.
Probably not.
So, my goal is to care about myself.
I have a long list of ways I do plan to do that, but that may be a blog for another day.
Mental health is such a hot topic (or at least it should be!).
There is a huge increase in mental health issues. Especially in children and teens.
Some stats include:
- 1 in 5 children have mental health problems
- 37% increase in adolescent depression
- 200% increase in suicide rate in children aged 10 to 14.
TEN TO FOURTEEN.
It scares me!
I think about it every day!
I think about how Grace is being molded.
How Hunter is being shaped and if it is good or bad.
If Logan is developing in a healthy way so he can be resilient to the hard mental issues that he will face.
I am a huge advocate for fostering healthy child development.
Oh my goodness, if you only knew HOW MUCH I think about proper child development.
All the time.
It fascinates me.
It motivates me.
.... so back up... hold on...
If these staggering statistics are haunting me WHYYY am I wanting to have a year of focusing on self care?
Something that I have learned to be true, is that when a mother is healthy....
She is more able to help her children be healthy too.
The more I help myself the more able I'll be to help my children learn what they need to know to be okay out in the world.
Example is the best teacher.
I so firmly believe that.
I have been through rough times as a mom.
Experiencing times of depression and anxiety like I never knew could exist, has made me less than a smiling face for my kids.
I blame certain circumstances for those times, such as Hunter being hospitalized in the NICU...
Having a third baby, Logan, and not really knowing how to manage that kind of life.
Truly my hardest times have been each of my babies first year of life.
Right now I feel pretty good.
I feel happy and wouldn't call myself anxious.
BUT... looping back to the start of this blog... life is busy.
And it gets stressful!
Yesterday at my doctor's appointment I took Hunter and Logan. My doctor was discussing my diabetes and why my a1c is probably kinda high.
As we were talking Logan was flailing and head butting me, all while Hunter was worming his way into my lap with the deadest weight you'll ever feel.
My doctor laughed and talked about how stress is a factor in having high blood sugar.
YA THINK!?!?!
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So, self care.
I'm going to do it.
I'm going to care.
About.
Myself!
And it's going to rock!
Or be hard.
It'll be hard.
I plan to fall on my face a lot.
The key factor though, is I'm also planning to get back up again.
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