Last night I played my harp for our ward Relief Society birthday dinnner. I guess the Relief Society is 170 years old!
I played Lord I Would Follow Thee....which is pretty fitting for Relief Society because it's all about service, and well, Relief Society is service!
I came away from that meeting with lots of things, but the two main things that I brought out of it was...
1. Learning, talking, and living Relief Society gives the best spirit. I wish I could live in that spirit more.
2. I really really really really wish I could play my harp more. Even to the point where I can be good enough to teach lessons.
Since I've had to play twice this week for things I've been practicing a lot and it's brought a wonderful spirit into my heart.
I had lots of people over the last week from my ward ask me tons of questions about it and say how soothing it is. It's not like other string instruments where you have to play it right to sound decent....with the harp you can just run your finger up it and it sounds pretty.
I wish I wasn't so busy with school and work that I could play more.
Honestly, I probably could play more, but after a long day it's hard to put forth effort in anything but relaxing. Especially since my days generally don't end till 8:00 or 9:00 when I get all my homework done.
Pretty much the conclusion I've come to is I'll play more once I'm a stay-at-home mom. Although motherhood is a daunting thing and I in no way think I'll have all the time in the world, I definitely will have more time than I do now to do things like that.
It's no wonder to me sometimes why so many women go through post partum depression, especially people in recent generations. In the past couple of decades it's almost been mandatory/expected that women work and go to school and achieve all sorts of greatness before they have kids. Going from running around like crazy for several years getting a college degree to being at home full time....I guess it just makes sense.
Another cool thing that happened last night was I was able to sit by a couple of ladies in my ward who....after some discussion.... I found out are inactive.
I have to attribute this experience all to God, because when I walked into the room I saw a table full of primary ladies that I am friends with/feel comfortable around....so as I was walking to sit by them I noticed this lone sister sitting at another table and the spirit told me to go sit by her.
I'm really glad I did because not too long after that her daughter came in and sat down and I quickly realized if I hadn't sat there nobody else would have.
They told me about their lives and I told them about mine and they seemed so geniunely grateful that I had sat by them.
They talked about their struggle with coming to church and I think although they were justifying some things it made them feel better to tell me.
I'm grateful to be a member of the Church. I love that I know the truth and can guide my life around it to be happy.
I look at the situations that my students are in at school and wonder how they would be different if their families were members. One little girl in my class has gotten left on the bus twice this week because her mom has forgotten to come out to get her for over an hour. Even though the bus driver calls the mom and what not she still doesn't come out.
Our administrator of the pre-school said that if that happens one more time the bus driver has to take the little girl directly to child services and leave her there. The thought of that to me is frightening because this little girl has some extreme behaviors.
In the end, this situation is the way it is because the mom is abusing drugs. That's actually the reason her daughter is disabled because she did drugs while she was pregnant. It's so sad when moms do drugs pre-natally. Most children in that situation usually come out to have "autistic tendencies". The child doesn't actually have autism, they just get thrown in the autistic class because that's how they act. We have a couple of kids like that in our class.
We have other parents who are neglecting their kids and won't take them to the doctor even though they have severe medical needs. It's just so sad! I wish people had the light of the Gospel in their lives because I know that even though some of these people are living in homeless shelters, the Gospel has the power to lift them up and out of those bad situations.
It just makes me so sad to see kids suffer from their parents decisions.
I am grateful to be sealed to my husband for almost a year now and to know that even though life is difficult at times, it's never more than we can't handle with having the Gospel in our lives.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Pushover
I just finished one of the best books I've ever read! I highly recommend it/if I was a Communist I would make everyone under my power read it. :)
Ha ha.
It's called "Out of my Mind" by Sharon M. Draper.
It's about a girl who has cerebral palsy and it's seriously such a fantastic book! I won't tell anything else about it, because you just have to read it.
I guess the reason I loved this book so much is because it shed a wonderful light on people with disabilities.
I love working with special ed. kids! They remind me everyday that I'm a daughter of God. They constantly remind me that there will always be millions of people that have it a lot harder than I do. They help me realize how critical knowledge is to progress and make me very grateful for my education.
And they do all of this without even talking! Out of my Mind touched my heart so much because the girl in it doesn't talk. She CAN'T talk because of her disability. That hits home for me a lot because the majority of the autistic kids I work with can't talk very well, if at all.
The other day one of my co-workers and I had to go to a training for the first two hours of work so we missed the first little bit of class. When we went back to class and walked through the door one of our students (who is one that has a hard time talking, but is very smart) yelled "Teacher Amber's here!!!!" clear as a bell, ran over and hugged me. Ha ha ha. It made me want to cry so bad! He very rarely says peoples names. It kind of melted my heart when he said mine.
Cute cute cute kids. I love them.
Last summer when I was looking for a job for the school year I kept getting turned down by lots of other jobs because the timing of my school schedule and when they wanted me to work didn't match up. I was super frustrated because I've never not had a job and I didn't get the one I have till right before school started. Now that I look back at it I think God knew I needed this job that I have now because it has taught me so much.
Working with children with disabilities is so rewarding. It teaches you a lot about yourself and what your own abilities are.
It teaches lots of patience and forces you to put yourself in other peoples shoes.
I think everyone should have the experience of working with disabled kids at some point. It's a very humbling experience and although I've been doing it for almost a year now, I'm still getting humbled.
Development is probably one of my favorite words ever. Especially since I changed my major and have been focusing on little kids. The word development can focus on so many things and for autisitic kids it's critical. They are constantly changing, developing, and progressing, but sometimes only in little unnoticable ways. I love watching little kids' development - watching where they used to be and where they are going - watching the different stages they go through is so interesting.
Love it. Maybe, I'm weird, but it fascinates me. It has to fascinate somebody, right?? Ha ha :)
Well, sadly, but also not sadly to say, I figured out that I'm not going to be able to work at the same place next school year. Since I'll be in my final semester of classes, they are all upper division and only offered at one time so I'll be going to school in the mornings on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.....and in the afternoon on Tuesday and Thursday. Kind of a shame, but it'll be ok.
The reason I'm not WAY sad about it is because it'll be nice to move on to a different atmosphere of co-workers. Ha ha.
Everyone I work with thinks I'm this big shy, pushover, young, naive, etc. girl.
k, maybe to them I am some of those things, but I wish I wasn't. I'm definitely a pushover. Def. I have this huge problem with telling people I can't help them out even when it's seriously ridiculous what they are asking me to do. With my husband or mom/family I would be like.... "Are you kidding me? Do it yourself! Don't make me do YOUR job!" But with anybody else I'm like......"oh yeah....k, for sure I'll do that!"
It's a problem.
It's nobody's problem, but my own, so whatever, but still, it's hard, run-on sentence.
Another thing....I am young, but my co-workers seem to THRIVE on that fact. They are all at least ten years older than me, but they seem to think because that's the case that they are far more aware of the world than I am.
And I guess the final thing that they are correct about me is I am pretty shy. I've noticed that I've gotten shyer in the past couple of years.
Let's blame Jeff.
Ha....
Jk.
No, but from about 9th grade to my first couple years of college I was actually.....outgoing! It was quite great. Somehow I think I'm reverting back, which is fine with me, but I don't like when other people seem to feed off the fact that I'm the way I am.
Yes, you are louder than me....please stop pointing it out. Ha ha. I wish I could say that to people sometimes.
So, in the end it will be good for me to move on, I think. I'll miss the kids like CRAZY, but three of my favorites are going to kindergarten next year anyways so I might as well leave with them.
On a totally unrelated topic, it's spring break this week!
Last Friday I was totally motivated to get all my end of semester projects done this week, but now that it's actually here I'm like......hmmmmmmmmmmmm....sleep?
Yeah, sleep sounds good.
Nah, I do still plan on getting a lot done, but I'm glad I can have a break.
I get to go to my mom's school tomorrow and observe a kindergarten and second grade class! I like observing, it teaches me a lot about what and what not to do in the classroom. My mom has really good teachers at her school though so I'm sure it'll be educational.
Jeff and I are going to his sister's musical/play thing tonight! I love going to plays! She's a really cute actress too so it'll be fun.
Other than that not a lot of happening this week. I get to play my harp for the Relief Society activity this Wednesday! Yay! Ha ha, I should probably practice for that. I played in church yesterday which was fabulous. (I don't think the Relief Society knew I was playing in Sacrament meeting when they asked me to play on Wednesday.....and did I tell them? No. See? Pushover.) I get so nervous though and it's bad news.
I don't get nervous when I play for things like parties, receptions, etc. because even though people ARE listening to me, I don't have a full audience staring at me. I get much more nervous when I'm doing a special musical number rather than just playing in the background of a room.
Well, I best be off to practicing or studying.....or sleeping. Happy Spring Break! :)
Ha ha.
It's called "Out of my Mind" by Sharon M. Draper.
It's about a girl who has cerebral palsy and it's seriously such a fantastic book! I won't tell anything else about it, because you just have to read it.
I guess the reason I loved this book so much is because it shed a wonderful light on people with disabilities.
I love working with special ed. kids! They remind me everyday that I'm a daughter of God. They constantly remind me that there will always be millions of people that have it a lot harder than I do. They help me realize how critical knowledge is to progress and make me very grateful for my education.
And they do all of this without even talking! Out of my Mind touched my heart so much because the girl in it doesn't talk. She CAN'T talk because of her disability. That hits home for me a lot because the majority of the autistic kids I work with can't talk very well, if at all.
The other day one of my co-workers and I had to go to a training for the first two hours of work so we missed the first little bit of class. When we went back to class and walked through the door one of our students (who is one that has a hard time talking, but is very smart) yelled "Teacher Amber's here!!!!" clear as a bell, ran over and hugged me. Ha ha ha. It made me want to cry so bad! He very rarely says peoples names. It kind of melted my heart when he said mine.
Cute cute cute kids. I love them.
Last summer when I was looking for a job for the school year I kept getting turned down by lots of other jobs because the timing of my school schedule and when they wanted me to work didn't match up. I was super frustrated because I've never not had a job and I didn't get the one I have till right before school started. Now that I look back at it I think God knew I needed this job that I have now because it has taught me so much.
Working with children with disabilities is so rewarding. It teaches you a lot about yourself and what your own abilities are.
It teaches lots of patience and forces you to put yourself in other peoples shoes.
I think everyone should have the experience of working with disabled kids at some point. It's a very humbling experience and although I've been doing it for almost a year now, I'm still getting humbled.
Development is probably one of my favorite words ever. Especially since I changed my major and have been focusing on little kids. The word development can focus on so many things and for autisitic kids it's critical. They are constantly changing, developing, and progressing, but sometimes only in little unnoticable ways. I love watching little kids' development - watching where they used to be and where they are going - watching the different stages they go through is so interesting.
Love it. Maybe, I'm weird, but it fascinates me. It has to fascinate somebody, right?? Ha ha :)
Well, sadly, but also not sadly to say, I figured out that I'm not going to be able to work at the same place next school year. Since I'll be in my final semester of classes, they are all upper division and only offered at one time so I'll be going to school in the mornings on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.....and in the afternoon on Tuesday and Thursday. Kind of a shame, but it'll be ok.
The reason I'm not WAY sad about it is because it'll be nice to move on to a different atmosphere of co-workers. Ha ha.
Everyone I work with thinks I'm this big shy, pushover, young, naive, etc. girl.
k, maybe to them I am some of those things, but I wish I wasn't. I'm definitely a pushover. Def. I have this huge problem with telling people I can't help them out even when it's seriously ridiculous what they are asking me to do. With my husband or mom/family I would be like.... "Are you kidding me? Do it yourself! Don't make me do YOUR job!" But with anybody else I'm like......"oh yeah....k, for sure I'll do that!"
It's a problem.
It's nobody's problem, but my own, so whatever, but still, it's hard, run-on sentence.
Another thing....I am young, but my co-workers seem to THRIVE on that fact. They are all at least ten years older than me, but they seem to think because that's the case that they are far more aware of the world than I am.
And I guess the final thing that they are correct about me is I am pretty shy. I've noticed that I've gotten shyer in the past couple of years.
Let's blame Jeff.
Ha....
Jk.
No, but from about 9th grade to my first couple years of college I was actually.....outgoing! It was quite great. Somehow I think I'm reverting back, which is fine with me, but I don't like when other people seem to feed off the fact that I'm the way I am.
Yes, you are louder than me....please stop pointing it out. Ha ha. I wish I could say that to people sometimes.
So, in the end it will be good for me to move on, I think. I'll miss the kids like CRAZY, but three of my favorites are going to kindergarten next year anyways so I might as well leave with them.
On a totally unrelated topic, it's spring break this week!
Last Friday I was totally motivated to get all my end of semester projects done this week, but now that it's actually here I'm like......hmmmmmmmmmmmm....sleep?
Yeah, sleep sounds good.
Nah, I do still plan on getting a lot done, but I'm glad I can have a break.
I get to go to my mom's school tomorrow and observe a kindergarten and second grade class! I like observing, it teaches me a lot about what and what not to do in the classroom. My mom has really good teachers at her school though so I'm sure it'll be educational.
Jeff and I are going to his sister's musical/play thing tonight! I love going to plays! She's a really cute actress too so it'll be fun.
Other than that not a lot of happening this week. I get to play my harp for the Relief Society activity this Wednesday! Yay! Ha ha, I should probably practice for that. I played in church yesterday which was fabulous. (I don't think the Relief Society knew I was playing in Sacrament meeting when they asked me to play on Wednesday.....and did I tell them? No. See? Pushover.) I get so nervous though and it's bad news.
I don't get nervous when I play for things like parties, receptions, etc. because even though people ARE listening to me, I don't have a full audience staring at me. I get much more nervous when I'm doing a special musical number rather than just playing in the background of a room.
Well, I best be off to practicing or studying.....or sleeping. Happy Spring Break! :)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Presentations and Chick Flicks
The other day I started typing up a blog post about how I never have any homework, life is so mellow, and how I have all the time in the world. Then for some reason the next 4 days were crazy busy and I had two projects, three presentations, and a test to get ready for. Ha ha.
Life.
Oy.
Needless to say I didn't submit the post I started writing because I got too busy.
Yesterday in my "Birth to eight year old" class (yes, that's the actual name of the class, we learn about birth......and children till they are eight years old) my friend and I gave a presentation on "Stay-at-home Mothers Vs. Daycare".
It was very.....interesting.... how people reacted.
We had done research (scholarly articles, FTW) on why having the mom at home is better etc. etc.
There are lots of statistics of why that's true, but I won't bore you with that. Basically, having the mother at home creates a more nuturing environment for the child, they have more secure attachment, there is lower stress and emotional health issues in the family, and economically it's better for a nuclear family to have the mom at home rather than in the workplace. I read an article that said families actually lose more money sending the child to daycare than if the mom would just stay home.
Obviously, THAT point is not true when we're talking about single mothers because they are the only source of income (usually).
Anywho, Kayla and I sold the topic pretty good I felt like! Ha ha! But it's still funny to see how people respond.
About ten times in our presentation I said "it's very different for single mothers, because they really don't have a choice whether to work or not", but we still had a lady raise her hand at the end and say: "I was a single mother for 5 years and..." etc. etc. she kind of went off on her struggle and how we were wrong. Ha ha.
People are kind of funny when you indirectly (or maybe it was directly) attack their situation. We had a couple other girls raise their hands and speak out about their strong feelings on the subject, but overall it wasn't too controversial.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is doing this project and presentation has made me extremely grateful for my husband.
There are so many women that have to raise their kids alone and it makes me so sad! I'm grateful that Jeff is getting a super resourceful/potientially very successful degree and that he is determined to let me be a stay-at-home mom.
Another article that I read for this project described the struggle many mothers have with parental responsibility and being in the workforce. A lot of the mothers that were interviewed for that article said things like "I would much rather go to work everyday than stay at home with my kids and do nothing."
Especially now that I've been taking Early Childhood classes the past couple semesters I can definitely say that raising babies and young children is far from doing nothing. There is so much going on in the development of little kids that is important for a mother to witness and assist with as the child grows up.
Well, now I'll TRY to get off my soapbox. Ha ha! This subject has just been on my mind for the past couple of days because of my presentation. :)
Now on to other things that have been on my mind.
Jeff and I are super exciting so last night (Friday night), he studied statistics all night while I watched a chick flick. As I was watching this movie I said to myself, why are chick flicks ALWAYS like this? Why do they start out hating each other, break up with the person they are dating currently, and then end up together? Why? That's so dumb. That's like.....ridiculously dumb. I never fight with my husband so I can't really determine why this is so appealing to people.....
THEN...
As I was sobbing through the last ten minutes of the movie where the climax happened, they ended up together, and it was all good....I said to myself.......
Ok. This is why it's appealing.
But really, I've never understood why these movies have the people start out hating each other? Probably because if they didn't their wouldn't be any drama.
I've never liked movies like The Notebook (that's not the one I watched last night, but it was very similar in story line). They seriously can't stand each other, but they're in love. Extreme, crazy, unrealistic, and perfect love. (???) I have friends who have said that they want their love life to be similar to Noah and Allie's. I guess I just don't understand the appeal to that either.
Anyways, I'm glad Jeff's always liked me. I'm glad I've always liked him. And I'm really glad that we've never screamed at each other in rage on a boat dock in the middle of a thunderstorm.
I guess I'll never understand chick flicks, but I'll continue to watch them and cry at the end like I'm supposed to. :)
Life.
Oy.
Needless to say I didn't submit the post I started writing because I got too busy.
Yesterday in my "Birth to eight year old" class (yes, that's the actual name of the class, we learn about birth......and children till they are eight years old) my friend and I gave a presentation on "Stay-at-home Mothers Vs. Daycare".
It was very.....interesting.... how people reacted.
We had done research (scholarly articles, FTW) on why having the mom at home is better etc. etc.
There are lots of statistics of why that's true, but I won't bore you with that. Basically, having the mother at home creates a more nuturing environment for the child, they have more secure attachment, there is lower stress and emotional health issues in the family, and economically it's better for a nuclear family to have the mom at home rather than in the workplace. I read an article that said families actually lose more money sending the child to daycare than if the mom would just stay home.
Obviously, THAT point is not true when we're talking about single mothers because they are the only source of income (usually).
Anywho, Kayla and I sold the topic pretty good I felt like! Ha ha! But it's still funny to see how people respond.
About ten times in our presentation I said "it's very different for single mothers, because they really don't have a choice whether to work or not", but we still had a lady raise her hand at the end and say: "I was a single mother for 5 years and..." etc. etc. she kind of went off on her struggle and how we were wrong. Ha ha.
People are kind of funny when you indirectly (or maybe it was directly) attack their situation. We had a couple other girls raise their hands and speak out about their strong feelings on the subject, but overall it wasn't too controversial.
I guess what I'm trying to get at is doing this project and presentation has made me extremely grateful for my husband.
There are so many women that have to raise their kids alone and it makes me so sad! I'm grateful that Jeff is getting a super resourceful/potientially very successful degree and that he is determined to let me be a stay-at-home mom.
Another article that I read for this project described the struggle many mothers have with parental responsibility and being in the workforce. A lot of the mothers that were interviewed for that article said things like "I would much rather go to work everyday than stay at home with my kids and do nothing."
Especially now that I've been taking Early Childhood classes the past couple semesters I can definitely say that raising babies and young children is far from doing nothing. There is so much going on in the development of little kids that is important for a mother to witness and assist with as the child grows up.
Well, now I'll TRY to get off my soapbox. Ha ha! This subject has just been on my mind for the past couple of days because of my presentation. :)
Now on to other things that have been on my mind.
Jeff and I are super exciting so last night (Friday night), he studied statistics all night while I watched a chick flick. As I was watching this movie I said to myself, why are chick flicks ALWAYS like this? Why do they start out hating each other, break up with the person they are dating currently, and then end up together? Why? That's so dumb. That's like.....ridiculously dumb. I never fight with my husband so I can't really determine why this is so appealing to people.....
THEN...
As I was sobbing through the last ten minutes of the movie where the climax happened, they ended up together, and it was all good....I said to myself.......
Ok. This is why it's appealing.
But really, I've never understood why these movies have the people start out hating each other? Probably because if they didn't their wouldn't be any drama.
I've never liked movies like The Notebook (that's not the one I watched last night, but it was very similar in story line). They seriously can't stand each other, but they're in love. Extreme, crazy, unrealistic, and perfect love. (???) I have friends who have said that they want their love life to be similar to Noah and Allie's. I guess I just don't understand the appeal to that either.
Anyways, I'm glad Jeff's always liked me. I'm glad I've always liked him. And I'm really glad that we've never screamed at each other in rage on a boat dock in the middle of a thunderstorm.
I guess I'll never understand chick flicks, but I'll continue to watch them and cry at the end like I'm supposed to. :)
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Seasons
I've been wanting to blog lately, but I haven't had anything specific to say. I've had a lot on my mind, but nothing specific. It seems like I always have a lot on my mind. I'm kind of just one of those people, I suppose.
I've been thinking about how the people around me handle life and how it's different than I how I handle things. I've been musing about how it seems to be the trend to come up with really cool ways to announce that you're pregnant (I'm NOT pregnant) and it's like......geez, can't you just say it and let people get excited for you? All these creative people are adding on so much pressure! I guess that's just the season of my life though. I'm totally in the season where everyone my age or 2 years either way from my age is pregnant.
Life is full of seasons. I love seasons....like the literal, meteorological seasons. I feel like the coldness always comes when I most need to cuddle up and hibernate. I also feel like the sunshine and warmth of summer comes when I want to run and work hard.
I also love the seasons of life meaning things like...dating, being engaged, being newly weds, having a baby, having a bunch of babies, raising babies, being old.......(cause we all know that once you've raised babies you're old? Ha.)
It's really interesting watching people switch from season to season and how they.....cope.
It's funny to me the people who are "stuck" in a season and so badly wish to be out of it. They wish so much to be in the next, or next three seasons that they miss the one they are in completely.
I always think of that one country song that goes......you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast! These are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this.
I think of that a lot as I see people in my life who are "stuck" in the dating season and so badly want to be out of it. It's like they dwell on the fact that they aren't married so much that they miss the whole point of dating. They miss the splendor and good times that can come from dating.
It's also interesting to me watching mothers who have kids in elementary/junior high and how they are so fed up with their situation. Their kids drive them nuts, they are always so busy, their kids each take two dance classes, two gymnastics classes, piano, and voice lessons and somehow their family never gets to eat dinner together!?!? Ha ha.
People make me laugh.
I'm sooooooo..........passive.
I have so many analytical thoughts/suggestions that I COULD say to people, but my inner core of shyness won't allow me to. In the end I just listen to them complain and wonder if I'll ever feel like they do during that season when I reach it.
Jeff and I don't have it bad at all, but we do have our weird little struggles. This semester has been harder than most because of all of our visits to the hospital. Little things like laptops breaking, hospital bills, tests, projects, internet not working........it's all such little stuff, but can be frustrating if we let it be. Those are times when I play that country song on repeat in my head, ha ha.
I'm so grateful for Jeff and how positive he is all the time. I'm grateful that he works full time AND goes to school full time. Everyone that we tell that he does that thinks he's crazy. He always gets such good grades though. I know he does what he does because he loves me and wants to take care of me. That's the best thing ever.
Going through this season of life has been great because I can see very easily how much God blesses us and how much He wants us to succeed.
I really don't want to be in any other season right now, I'm liking this one too much.
I've been thinking about how the people around me handle life and how it's different than I how I handle things. I've been musing about how it seems to be the trend to come up with really cool ways to announce that you're pregnant (I'm NOT pregnant) and it's like......geez, can't you just say it and let people get excited for you? All these creative people are adding on so much pressure! I guess that's just the season of my life though. I'm totally in the season where everyone my age or 2 years either way from my age is pregnant.
Life is full of seasons. I love seasons....like the literal, meteorological seasons. I feel like the coldness always comes when I most need to cuddle up and hibernate. I also feel like the sunshine and warmth of summer comes when I want to run and work hard.
I also love the seasons of life meaning things like...dating, being engaged, being newly weds, having a baby, having a bunch of babies, raising babies, being old.......(cause we all know that once you've raised babies you're old? Ha.)
It's really interesting watching people switch from season to season and how they.....cope.
It's funny to me the people who are "stuck" in a season and so badly wish to be out of it. They wish so much to be in the next, or next three seasons that they miss the one they are in completely.
I always think of that one country song that goes......you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast! These are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this.
I think of that a lot as I see people in my life who are "stuck" in the dating season and so badly want to be out of it. It's like they dwell on the fact that they aren't married so much that they miss the whole point of dating. They miss the splendor and good times that can come from dating.
It's also interesting to me watching mothers who have kids in elementary/junior high and how they are so fed up with their situation. Their kids drive them nuts, they are always so busy, their kids each take two dance classes, two gymnastics classes, piano, and voice lessons and somehow their family never gets to eat dinner together!?!? Ha ha.
People make me laugh.
I'm sooooooo..........passive.
I have so many analytical thoughts/suggestions that I COULD say to people, but my inner core of shyness won't allow me to. In the end I just listen to them complain and wonder if I'll ever feel like they do during that season when I reach it.
Jeff and I don't have it bad at all, but we do have our weird little struggles. This semester has been harder than most because of all of our visits to the hospital. Little things like laptops breaking, hospital bills, tests, projects, internet not working........it's all such little stuff, but can be frustrating if we let it be. Those are times when I play that country song on repeat in my head, ha ha.
I'm so grateful for Jeff and how positive he is all the time. I'm grateful that he works full time AND goes to school full time. Everyone that we tell that he does that thinks he's crazy. He always gets such good grades though. I know he does what he does because he loves me and wants to take care of me. That's the best thing ever.
Going through this season of life has been great because I can see very easily how much God blesses us and how much He wants us to succeed.
I really don't want to be in any other season right now, I'm liking this one too much.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Waiting.......
I'm waiting for lots of things right now.
Primarily I'm waiting for my husband to finish his statistics test so we can go home! Ha ha!
We are on campus right now....I'm sitting in the Stewart Library hoping these people sitting next to me at other computers aren't reading this or judging me that I'm a wet dog that just ran in the rain.
You see, I had to run in the pouring rain because the gym is closed. That's why I came to campus with Jeff because I was going to go to the gym, he was going to take a test......gym is closed....ran in the rain.....here I am.
Sometimes waiting is weird. How over-prepared can a person be while waiting? I dunno, I've been trying to figure that out my whole life. But right now I'm feelin' pretty over-prepared for what I'm waiting for. (Don't worry Jeff, take your time on your test, I'm not talking about waiting for you)
Right now I'm waiting for Weber to post next semesters class schedule online so I can plan my life. I have to wait for that to happen so I can see if I can keep my job next year. I have to wait to tell my supervisor that I might have to abandon ship because I don't know if abandoning ship is in the plan yet.
Those things don't seem like too big of a deal to wait for, right?
And yeeeeeeet.....I keep thinking of this quote...
"Without patience we cannot please God." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Lately I've been thinking about how fast time goes. Jeff and I have been married for 10 months. It seems like 2. It also seems like 52. Time is weird like that.
So really these next couple months or waiting won't be bad at all.
I really really hope I can keep my job next year. Granted it's kind of weird sometimes (refer back to my post about my work a month or so ago), but I love the kids so much! People with autism are so fascinating. I'm reading a book right now about a girl with cerebral palsy and I love it! I love reading things that give such a positive light to people with disabilities.
I think way too often people discount "mentally retarded" people and don't really view them even as members of society. They are just the kids that lash out and make their parents look like they can't control them, right?
No.
I think unless you've worked with special needs people you don't really understand their potential.
The kids I work with are so freakishly cute! I love them! Even now when it's cold season and all of them are sick. It's good training to be a mom right? Getting coughed at in the face... spit, drooled, sneezed on. Ha ha.
I love my job because it breaks my heart.
Does that sound bad? Yep, yep it does.
It's sad watching your students, knowing when they go home they are going to a homeless shelter. That's the part that breaks my heart, but the happy part is knowing that while they are at school they smile the entire time. They look at you and say "han!" and reach for your hand. Or "ug" and want you to hug them. That's the part I love.
I think one of the main reasons I've always loved the lower grades in school is because you can see so much growth in their learning! When I very first started in education I was working with 1st graders and I loved watching them learn how to read! They were slow learners, but they took lots of baby steps.
Now that I'm around pre-schoolers and special ed. kids I see SO many baby steps and it's so much fun! Seeing a kid that figures out what green is cool to me.
Well, Jeff just called me so I gotta wrap this up............
Until next time, I guess. Happy Saturday! :)
Primarily I'm waiting for my husband to finish his statistics test so we can go home! Ha ha!
We are on campus right now....I'm sitting in the Stewart Library hoping these people sitting next to me at other computers aren't reading this or judging me that I'm a wet dog that just ran in the rain.
You see, I had to run in the pouring rain because the gym is closed. That's why I came to campus with Jeff because I was going to go to the gym, he was going to take a test......gym is closed....ran in the rain.....here I am.
Sometimes waiting is weird. How over-prepared can a person be while waiting? I dunno, I've been trying to figure that out my whole life. But right now I'm feelin' pretty over-prepared for what I'm waiting for. (Don't worry Jeff, take your time on your test, I'm not talking about waiting for you)
Right now I'm waiting for Weber to post next semesters class schedule online so I can plan my life. I have to wait for that to happen so I can see if I can keep my job next year. I have to wait to tell my supervisor that I might have to abandon ship because I don't know if abandoning ship is in the plan yet.
Those things don't seem like too big of a deal to wait for, right?
And yeeeeeeet.....I keep thinking of this quote...
"Without patience we cannot please God." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Lately I've been thinking about how fast time goes. Jeff and I have been married for 10 months. It seems like 2. It also seems like 52. Time is weird like that.
So really these next couple months or waiting won't be bad at all.
I really really hope I can keep my job next year. Granted it's kind of weird sometimes (refer back to my post about my work a month or so ago), but I love the kids so much! People with autism are so fascinating. I'm reading a book right now about a girl with cerebral palsy and I love it! I love reading things that give such a positive light to people with disabilities.
I think way too often people discount "mentally retarded" people and don't really view them even as members of society. They are just the kids that lash out and make their parents look like they can't control them, right?
No.
I think unless you've worked with special needs people you don't really understand their potential.
The kids I work with are so freakishly cute! I love them! Even now when it's cold season and all of them are sick. It's good training to be a mom right? Getting coughed at in the face... spit, drooled, sneezed on. Ha ha.
I love my job because it breaks my heart.
Does that sound bad? Yep, yep it does.
It's sad watching your students, knowing when they go home they are going to a homeless shelter. That's the part that breaks my heart, but the happy part is knowing that while they are at school they smile the entire time. They look at you and say "han!" and reach for your hand. Or "ug" and want you to hug them. That's the part I love.
I think one of the main reasons I've always loved the lower grades in school is because you can see so much growth in their learning! When I very first started in education I was working with 1st graders and I loved watching them learn how to read! They were slow learners, but they took lots of baby steps.
Now that I'm around pre-schoolers and special ed. kids I see SO many baby steps and it's so much fun! Seeing a kid that figures out what green is cool to me.
Well, Jeff just called me so I gotta wrap this up............
Until next time, I guess. Happy Saturday! :)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Major change!
Well, we made it through the first two weeks of the semester! They were probably the craziest first two weeks of a semester I've ever had actually.
The first week was crazy cause of the whole ER/hospital/almost death we encountered.....
And this week has been crazy because I decided to change my major!
.....I know, I'm in my fourth year of school and I'm just BARELY changing....I'm nuts, right??
No!
It's times like this in my life that I know that my Heavenly Father is pointing me in the right direction. There are few times in my life that I have felt the spirit so strong telling me where I should go...and I know this is one of those times.
Rewind.
When I graduated high school I had sooooo many plans for my life- graduate in 3 years (don't worry, I had it planned out, it WAS possible), go on a mission, go to Peru and teach ninos pequenos, uhhh....yep, I basically was going to be really cool.
Now four years later I have lived through so many different things than I thought I would and may I say, I'm really glad.
I'm really glad that I lived down in Cedar and was able to experience a massive year of growing up. I'm glad that God knew I needed that experience to become independent. I'm also glad that He so strongly told me to move home after that year too. That was another time that the spirit bluntly pointed me in the right direction.
If I wouldn't have moved home I wouldn't have met Jeff. :)
Now that I'm in my 5th semester at Weber I can truly say that this is the perfect time for me to change my major.
Ever since I was in 2nd grade I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I made my neighbors who were a year older and a year younger than my sister....and my sister sit in my living room and I would teach them the things that I was learning in school. Granted they were 3, 4, and 5 year olds, but whatever.
So all this time I've had Elementary Education in my sights and wasn't ever going to look back.
Untiiiiil....recently....
The past semester or so I've been taking these "CHF" classes at Weber that "certify" elementary teachers to teach kindergarten. Weber used to only have a degree where you could teach 1st-6th grade, but they realized in the past couple of years that they really need kindergarten teachers and only adding two classes to the degree would be their ticket to licensing teachers to teach K-6.
In the end.....these two "CHF" classes were the BAIN of my existence. They were holding me back from getting into the education program. These classes HAD to be completed prior to entering the program and they couldn't be taken the same semester.
It literally took me three semesters to get into the first class because of the waiting list. Seriously.....they were the BAIN of....k, yeah, you get it.
Well, something happened when I started taking these classes.......
These classes are all about early childhood, AKA teaching kids between the ages of 2 and 5. It's totally geared toward pre-school.
I started taking these classes and kept telling myself...."these classes are BAIN of my..." but as I sat through class I was SO mezmorized by what we were learning. I was so intrigued by this so called Early Childhood Education and thought....wow, this stuff is really cool!
I then started to evaluate myself. I started thinking of what I really wanted to do with my life.
What really tipped me overboard into the sea of Early Childhood Education though was one night I was talking to this lady in my ESL class who has taught pre-school out of her home for, I dunno, 20 some odd years. She was such a sweet lady and I could tell how much she loved what she did. She spoke so highly of pre-school and the benefits of everything that she does.
I went home that night almost in a freak out because I knew I needed to change my major......
I had a "Just face it, Amber" moment when I said to myself....maybe the fact that little kids love me so much is a gift from Heavenly Father that I need to recognize and use. (Refer to my post from a month ago about me and little kids)
I didn't want to tell Jeff....or my mom....or anybody cause I was just thinking, are they going to think I'm ridiculous for wanting to teach pre-school?
Jeff is seriously the best husband ever though. When I did tell him he just listened and told me I needed to do what I really wanted to do and he would support me with whatever that decision was.
Well, I weighed the pros and cons and the more I thought it out the Early Childhood option had a lot more pros than Elementary Ed.
In the end, I did change my major to Early Childhood Education and now here I am! I've been so excited this whole week! I don't know what it is about the subject of early childhood, but it makes me love learning even more than my elementary education classes did. Learning the process of young childrens development and how they learn is fascinating to me. It's way more technical than you'd think it would be.
So now I'm going to graduate next spring. I have one semester of classes in the fall, then my student teaching will be in the spring. :) That makes a grand total of 9 semesters of school for me. Usually people graduate in 8....so 9 isn't too bad, right?
I think, in the end, the biggest reason I decided to switch was because of how I can make a career out of this major as opposed to the Elementary Education major.
With this major I can do all kinds of things like daycare, head start, pre-school....I can be a pre-school coordinator (which is essentially a principal of a pre-school, ha ha).
My real plan is to own my own pre-school at my house. I think it's the best option for a stay at home mom. I probably won't start an actual pre-school till my youngest is in school, but I can start a daycare and slowly mold it into a pre-school while my youngest kids are babies.
If I was to be an elementary teacher I would be out of the house and honestly, I think I would be a lot more stressed and not able to be in my kid's lives as much while they are little.
So that's my general plan for now....I'm going to teach pre-school and someday....far far far far far down the road if I teach for like 15 years and start to want to be around older kids then I can go back to school and get my Elementary Ed. degree.
There is so much that changes in education, even just the technology alone, that if I didn't teach in a school for over 25-30 years I would have no idea what I was doing and would need to go back to school anyways. So much changes in curriculum, laws, policies....my math teacher recently told us that all teachers are going to have to re-learn math because they are switching from arithmetic to geometric based math in the schools....in the end, too much changes that I don't think it would be smart to get that degree now.
Plus my heart is in pre-school! Ha ha :)
Having my Early Childhood degree I will always be able to do pre-school. Learning colors, how to share, counting to ten, art, music, etc. probably won't be changing.
Who knows? Maybe 40 years from now I'll still be teaching pre-school in my basement and loving every minute of it.
One thing that I've really learned through the past couple of years is life doesn't ever turn out like you THINK it will, but usually that's because Heavenly Father knows what is what and why we should be doing the things we do.
I'm just grateful that I have had those few strong experiences with the spirit and never ending small promptings to point my life in the right direction. God knows our strengths and helps us realize where we can use them.
The first week was crazy cause of the whole ER/hospital/almost death we encountered.....
And this week has been crazy because I decided to change my major!
.....I know, I'm in my fourth year of school and I'm just BARELY changing....I'm nuts, right??
No!
It's times like this in my life that I know that my Heavenly Father is pointing me in the right direction. There are few times in my life that I have felt the spirit so strong telling me where I should go...and I know this is one of those times.
Rewind.
When I graduated high school I had sooooo many plans for my life- graduate in 3 years (don't worry, I had it planned out, it WAS possible), go on a mission, go to Peru and teach ninos pequenos, uhhh....yep, I basically was going to be really cool.
Now four years later I have lived through so many different things than I thought I would and may I say, I'm really glad.
I'm really glad that I lived down in Cedar and was able to experience a massive year of growing up. I'm glad that God knew I needed that experience to become independent. I'm also glad that He so strongly told me to move home after that year too. That was another time that the spirit bluntly pointed me in the right direction.
If I wouldn't have moved home I wouldn't have met Jeff. :)
Now that I'm in my 5th semester at Weber I can truly say that this is the perfect time for me to change my major.
Ever since I was in 2nd grade I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I made my neighbors who were a year older and a year younger than my sister....and my sister sit in my living room and I would teach them the things that I was learning in school. Granted they were 3, 4, and 5 year olds, but whatever.
So all this time I've had Elementary Education in my sights and wasn't ever going to look back.
Untiiiiil....recently....
The past semester or so I've been taking these "CHF" classes at Weber that "certify" elementary teachers to teach kindergarten. Weber used to only have a degree where you could teach 1st-6th grade, but they realized in the past couple of years that they really need kindergarten teachers and only adding two classes to the degree would be their ticket to licensing teachers to teach K-6.
In the end.....these two "CHF" classes were the BAIN of my existence. They were holding me back from getting into the education program. These classes HAD to be completed prior to entering the program and they couldn't be taken the same semester.
It literally took me three semesters to get into the first class because of the waiting list. Seriously.....they were the BAIN of....k, yeah, you get it.
Well, something happened when I started taking these classes.......
These classes are all about early childhood, AKA teaching kids between the ages of 2 and 5. It's totally geared toward pre-school.
I started taking these classes and kept telling myself...."these classes are BAIN of my..." but as I sat through class I was SO mezmorized by what we were learning. I was so intrigued by this so called Early Childhood Education and thought....wow, this stuff is really cool!
I then started to evaluate myself. I started thinking of what I really wanted to do with my life.
What really tipped me overboard into the sea of Early Childhood Education though was one night I was talking to this lady in my ESL class who has taught pre-school out of her home for, I dunno, 20 some odd years. She was such a sweet lady and I could tell how much she loved what she did. She spoke so highly of pre-school and the benefits of everything that she does.
I went home that night almost in a freak out because I knew I needed to change my major......
I had a "Just face it, Amber" moment when I said to myself....maybe the fact that little kids love me so much is a gift from Heavenly Father that I need to recognize and use. (Refer to my post from a month ago about me and little kids)
I didn't want to tell Jeff....or my mom....or anybody cause I was just thinking, are they going to think I'm ridiculous for wanting to teach pre-school?
Jeff is seriously the best husband ever though. When I did tell him he just listened and told me I needed to do what I really wanted to do and he would support me with whatever that decision was.
Well, I weighed the pros and cons and the more I thought it out the Early Childhood option had a lot more pros than Elementary Ed.
In the end, I did change my major to Early Childhood Education and now here I am! I've been so excited this whole week! I don't know what it is about the subject of early childhood, but it makes me love learning even more than my elementary education classes did. Learning the process of young childrens development and how they learn is fascinating to me. It's way more technical than you'd think it would be.
So now I'm going to graduate next spring. I have one semester of classes in the fall, then my student teaching will be in the spring. :) That makes a grand total of 9 semesters of school for me. Usually people graduate in 8....so 9 isn't too bad, right?
I think, in the end, the biggest reason I decided to switch was because of how I can make a career out of this major as opposed to the Elementary Education major.
With this major I can do all kinds of things like daycare, head start, pre-school....I can be a pre-school coordinator (which is essentially a principal of a pre-school, ha ha).
My real plan is to own my own pre-school at my house. I think it's the best option for a stay at home mom. I probably won't start an actual pre-school till my youngest is in school, but I can start a daycare and slowly mold it into a pre-school while my youngest kids are babies.
If I was to be an elementary teacher I would be out of the house and honestly, I think I would be a lot more stressed and not able to be in my kid's lives as much while they are little.
So that's my general plan for now....I'm going to teach pre-school and someday....far far far far far down the road if I teach for like 15 years and start to want to be around older kids then I can go back to school and get my Elementary Ed. degree.
There is so much that changes in education, even just the technology alone, that if I didn't teach in a school for over 25-30 years I would have no idea what I was doing and would need to go back to school anyways. So much changes in curriculum, laws, policies....my math teacher recently told us that all teachers are going to have to re-learn math because they are switching from arithmetic to geometric based math in the schools....in the end, too much changes that I don't think it would be smart to get that degree now.
Plus my heart is in pre-school! Ha ha :)
Having my Early Childhood degree I will always be able to do pre-school. Learning colors, how to share, counting to ten, art, music, etc. probably won't be changing.
Who knows? Maybe 40 years from now I'll still be teaching pre-school in my basement and loving every minute of it.
One thing that I've really learned through the past couple of years is life doesn't ever turn out like you THINK it will, but usually that's because Heavenly Father knows what is what and why we should be doing the things we do.
I'm just grateful that I have had those few strong experiences with the spirit and never ending small promptings to point my life in the right direction. God knows our strengths and helps us realize where we can use them.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
This one didn't kill you, but the next one could...
Hopefully their won't be a next one.
Jeff and I had a very interesting and humbling week. On Monday he went into the doctor to get a CT scan because his chest had been hurting him. After the test was over the doctor was like...."k, we'll call you in a few days with the results, bye!"
They called him a half hour after that and said "you need to go to the emergency room immediately." Jeff then proceeded to call me (I was in my night class) and told me he was going to the ER. He told me his artery by his lung was clogged or something....they didn't really know what yet.
Now, I don't know much about anatomy or medical whatever, but if you say something is seriously wrong near your heart or lungs my first thought is....Oh my gosh, he's going to die.
That's what the doctors (all approx seven of them over the next three days) said should have happened too. I wasn't there when he got to the emergency room, but Jeff's dad told me that the inital doctor kept saying how lucky he was to be alive.
What really ended up being the problem was he had a blood clot in his left lung. I guess it was big enough that it basically was his lung/he hadn't been using that lung for the past several months. (at least not to it's full capacity)
The doctors immediately put him on blood thinners. He's going to have to be on them for the next six months or more.
It's been such a humbling week for me, and I know for Jeff. During those three days in the hospital I went through so many emotions. It makes me so grateful for the Atonement. I definitely felt it working in my life this week.
I was going through emotions of thinking.....oh my gosh, it actually is possible that he could leave me. Only being married for next to 10 months you don't really think about your spouse as someone who could just up and die. We are still newly married.....aren't we supposed to have lots of babies and get fat and have Thanksgiving dinner with our grandchildren in our home that we built 30 years prior?
I have a testimony that the Atonement can help soften any feelings of guilt or sorrow or selfishness. I was feeling all of those things a lot this week!
Jeff definitely is my better half. He's so much stronger than I am and I'm so glad Heavenly Father has blessed me with him in my life. I'm so grateful that I get to live a long and happy life with him. I know this because of my faith in my Father in Heaven and the promises that He has given us.
One of the best things Jeff said to me this week was his testimony on our eternal marriage. This life is so short that even if we were to be separated for a little while, it truly only would be a LITTLE while. In the grand scheme of things we have so much to look forward to for the rest of eternity.
Eternity is a long time. So much longer than this life.
Well, I guess there is lots of good news for now! Jeff is one some shots and pills of blood thinner and will be for awhile. Pretty much the doctors have reassured us that as long as they keep his blood levels where they want them we won't have any more problems. Also, he had some genetics tests done and they came back negative which means the clotting should NOT be reoccurring.
After all of this I've decided that really it all depends on how we look at life and mold our attitude that determines how we get through things.
"We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."
-President Thomas S. Monson
Jeff and I had a very interesting and humbling week. On Monday he went into the doctor to get a CT scan because his chest had been hurting him. After the test was over the doctor was like...."k, we'll call you in a few days with the results, bye!"
They called him a half hour after that and said "you need to go to the emergency room immediately." Jeff then proceeded to call me (I was in my night class) and told me he was going to the ER. He told me his artery by his lung was clogged or something....they didn't really know what yet.
Now, I don't know much about anatomy or medical whatever, but if you say something is seriously wrong near your heart or lungs my first thought is....Oh my gosh, he's going to die.
That's what the doctors (all approx seven of them over the next three days) said should have happened too. I wasn't there when he got to the emergency room, but Jeff's dad told me that the inital doctor kept saying how lucky he was to be alive.
What really ended up being the problem was he had a blood clot in his left lung. I guess it was big enough that it basically was his lung/he hadn't been using that lung for the past several months. (at least not to it's full capacity)
The doctors immediately put him on blood thinners. He's going to have to be on them for the next six months or more.
It's been such a humbling week for me, and I know for Jeff. During those three days in the hospital I went through so many emotions. It makes me so grateful for the Atonement. I definitely felt it working in my life this week.
I was going through emotions of thinking.....oh my gosh, it actually is possible that he could leave me. Only being married for next to 10 months you don't really think about your spouse as someone who could just up and die. We are still newly married.....aren't we supposed to have lots of babies and get fat and have Thanksgiving dinner with our grandchildren in our home that we built 30 years prior?
I have a testimony that the Atonement can help soften any feelings of guilt or sorrow or selfishness. I was feeling all of those things a lot this week!
Jeff definitely is my better half. He's so much stronger than I am and I'm so glad Heavenly Father has blessed me with him in my life. I'm so grateful that I get to live a long and happy life with him. I know this because of my faith in my Father in Heaven and the promises that He has given us.
One of the best things Jeff said to me this week was his testimony on our eternal marriage. This life is so short that even if we were to be separated for a little while, it truly only would be a LITTLE while. In the grand scheme of things we have so much to look forward to for the rest of eternity.
Eternity is a long time. So much longer than this life.
Well, I guess there is lots of good news for now! Jeff is one some shots and pills of blood thinner and will be for awhile. Pretty much the doctors have reassured us that as long as they keep his blood levels where they want them we won't have any more problems. Also, he had some genetics tests done and they came back negative which means the clotting should NOT be reoccurring.
After all of this I've decided that really it all depends on how we look at life and mold our attitude that determines how we get through things.
"We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."
-President Thomas S. Monson
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