I try to convey that year round, but of course it makes sense to think about it more during the holiday season.
As I woke up at 4:30 this morning to teach my classes I felt grateful.
Why would anyone feel grateful at 4:30 in the morning?
I don't know how, but I always do.
My whole life growing up I always wanted to be a mom. People would ask "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and after a certain age I realized that they wanted me to tell them a profession that earned money.... that earned some worldly praise.
I would always shy away from saying "a mom" and say a list of other things.
Those other things weren't wrong, I definitely wanted to be those things too.
I still think about what I want to be when I grow up. AKA when my youngest baby goes to school.... possibly when my youngest baby is done with school, ha ha ha ha. We'll see how soon Jeff and I think I need to step up my financial assistance.
Being a mom was and is my dream job.
There are so many factors that play in to that....
There are so many parts of my life that line up to make it possible for...
A. Me to HAVE children
B. Me to stay home with those children I have been blessed with
I don't ever want to take those blessings for granted.
My side job is a factor in me getting to stay home. For that I'll never stop loving the opportunity to wake up at 4:00 in the morning.
I am thankful for the sweet faces that greet me in China everyday too. I have some of the sweetest students. There are about 6 of them that I have been teaching for over a year. Some a year and a half.
One student named, Yoyo, I have taught pretty much since I started with VIPKID.
She is SO so sooo smart. She is the nicest girl. She stopped taking classes when I stopped and had my baby. She didn't take classes from anyone while I was gone. I saw her again for the first time this week and it was a very sweet reunion. She talked to me for ten minutes about what she did while we both took a break from VIPKID.
She went to Australia in August to study English and was SO excited to show me her workbooks. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. It was the cutest thing. She was so proud of herself.
I have students who tell me their day is better, because they get to see me. They will say: "My day was fine, but now I can see you and I am so so happy!" Ha ha ha
The kids I teach bring ME happiness. They give me purpose beyond my little world here at my home.
Although my home and my family are the most important things in my life.....
It's easy when you're in the thick of raising very small humans to feel like you aren't contributing to the outside world at all. In reality I am, because I am setting my children up for their futures, but when you're changing a dozen diapers and getting puked on 20 times a day.... you don't feel like a regular old Ghandi.
My job teaching ESL brings that joy of bettering someone else's life outside of my home. I will always be thankful for that.
I am thankful for modern medicine and technology.
Without it I would not have any of my children.
Without it I would not be alive!
I know that God loves me, because He has provided solutions to my problems. He has given me easier ways to deal with my trials. He has given me hope!
The main thing that I want to say I am thankful for today is second chances.
Second chances, to me, mean so many different things.
It means forgiveness.
It means another try.
My children have to give me SO many second chances.
And third chances.
And twenty-sixth chances.
Yesterday for example, it hadn't been a bad day. I had gotten quite a bit done. We had played and I had spent quality time with each of my children. Around 4:00 PM I was struck with a horrible headache. I am not sure what migraines feel like, but I think that's what it was.
I was dizzy and nauseous and couldn't think straight.
But ya know what?
I still had to be a mom.
I couldn't tap out!
I couldn't be like..... hey, baby, sorry you're hungry, but uh..... just scream for your sister, you'll be okay.
Ha ha ha
On top of that....
Grace wanted to be with me. She wanted to play with me. She wanted me to do this and that and everything I couldn't do in that moment.
I yelled at her several times very unnecessarily.
And do you want to know what she did?
She forgave me.
No questions asked.
She wasn't asking me to do anything hard, really.
The only reason it was hard was because my head hurt so much.
I face situations where my children have to forgive me often. It's not too often out of anger. I'm typically a pretty calm parent.
I find that my kids have to be patient with me often though.
I can only do so much at one time. I forget to do things that need to be done.
I am thankful that my children love me unconditionally.
I am thankful that they want me and find comfort in being with me.
I am thankful that I can be their friend!
I am thankful that they depend on me.
Along with second chances there is also my very selfless husband who cuts me a lot of slack. He never thinks that I need to be doing more than I already do. He always thanks me for the things that I do make happen.
Because of HIS hard work I get to live out my dream of being a stay at home mom. I can't every say how thankful I am for that.
Above all, I am thankful that I can be a mom.
I am thankful for Jeff and our three babies. I have a very blessed life.
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