Truth be told.....
I am UNBEARABLY excited for fall!
In fact, I think I'm a little too hormonal lately because whenever I think about the crisp air, beautiful leaves, cozy feeling, cute autumn-y decorations, holidays around the corner it makes me want to cry. (joyful cry)
What's wrong with me?!?!?
Don't say I'm pregnant.....
Cause I'm not.
I think I'm broken. I think that's the true fact, ha ha.
I think the truth is.....all of the feelings that come with fall are exactly what I've been feeling lately. Summer means fun, frolic, being outdoors, no ambitions, freedom......
I'm kind of really over that..........
Like....really really over that. :)
Bring on fall!
Anyways, that's the main thing I wanted to get out there with this post. Fall's the best.
Truth be told......
I love going to Deseret Book. I went today to buy a Book of Mormon and a journal. Man, I don't know why, but I love that place! I love walking around and seeing everything they have. It generally never changes......but it's still great.
One time I made Jeff take me to Deseret Book and Petco for a date just because I love both of those places so much.
Weird?
Yes.
Do I care?
Not really. Ha ha.
I think it'll be really good for me to keep a journal. My blog posts have been SO vaaaaague lately it's been driving me batty.
And truth be told........
They are gonna keep being vague cause really...........this blog is open to the whole entire world so I can't just say anything and everything....even if you wanted me to!
I feel kind of at peace having a journal now. I feel like I can write out everything I'm thinking and I won't be judged for it. How brilliant is that?
I wrote in it for the first time today and one thing, that I WILL tell you I wrote was the fact that I love that I can write whatever I want in it and people can't "assume the heck out of me". I feel like when I lay out my life, OR use a lot of vagueness about my life it gives everyone license to assume anything and everything about me.
Does that mean I want to stop blogging?
Nooooo!
I love blogging. People can assume the heck out of me all they want. It doesn't mean they are right. :)
Truth be told......
I love the kitten who visits our 4-plex at night. She's come around twice now. She's so cute!! We saw her the other night and I was so sad the next day when she was gone, so tonight when we pulled into our driveway and she was there I screeched and told Jeff I was going to go pet her. He told me not to....(something about not knowing where she's been).....so naturally I went over to her and picked her up. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't as hormonal as I have been lately Jeff would have reprimanded me and ordered me to drop her....but he just kind of rolled his eyes and let me do what I wanted.
When I put the kitten down she ran and followed us to our door. I didn't let her in....I'm not that cruel (Jeff is really allergic to cats....), but I did name her! She's black with white paws.....so obviously I had to name her Shadow Faux. (Ha....obviously) To all of you LOTR fans that makes no sense, but really, my naming of animals never does.
I think I mostly named her Shadow Faux so when I see her running through our yard I can say: "Run Shadow Faux! Show us the meaning of haste!"
(We seriously need to have another LOTR marathon)
Truth be told......
I love my job!! Everyday I am so happy to have the job that I do. I seriously love it. It is so draining though. I am so tired by the end of the day. Chasing around autistic kids and helping them be socially appropriate is kind of really tiring, ha.
Here are some phrases I say a million times a day: "Use your words" "I'm going to wait till you're ready" "I can see you're sad, but we need to work" "GOOD JOB!!! So good!! That was great!" "Yes or no?" "Look at my eyes".
Eye contact. It's difficult.
Today at one of my sessions there was a girl/babysitter who was there watching the siblings of the little girl I was working with. Their house is kind of small so we were all (me, the babysitter, the three kids) in a small room the whole time pretty much. The babysitter just graduated from high school (she's actually a respite worker....if you don't know what that is.....I may explain it some other time, ha ha) and she seriously either needs a friend to listen to her or she thought I was a trustworthy person cause she went off about her life and everything surrounding it. She kind of made me ignore my little client for a good twenty minutes cause she just keep talking and talking, ha ha.
One of the things that she just kept saying over and over was how patient you have to be to work with autistic kids. (This girl doesn't have a lot of patience with these kids so she is always really impressed by how I handle situations) There was one moment tonight when my little client made her sister cry on purpose and I tried to make her fix the situation, but she wouldn't. So I took the thing (iPad) she wanted away from her and told her to fix it before I would give it back. She cried and cried and cried and cried and screamed at me to go to my room (ha ha ha, I love autistic kids).
The babysitter got SO frustrated and started yelling at my client! Ha ha. I kept wanting to be like: "Uh.....girl, I got this.......it's kinda my job...." (but REALLY, can you see ME saying that to someone?) I tried a couple times to tell the babysitter that I was just going to ignore her crying and screaming till she calmed down....cause really, that's what you have to do....but the babysitter just kept yelling.
Man, it was weird.
After the babysitter gave up I let my client sit and whine for about 7 or 8 minutes and when I thought she was ready I went over to her and she was perfectly fine, did what I wanted, and we went on our merry way.
Having parents (or babysitters....ha ha) around really is the hardest part of my job. I can discipline an autistic kid till the cows come home and not feel frustrated with my job. The times I do feel flustered or out of balance with my job is when people try to step in.
Other than that, I absolutely adore my job! The kids are adorable. I have eight now that I'm all the way full-time and having to work around their school schedules. It's really fun being able to serve them and their families. They all have such different family dynamics too. Single moms, LDS families, foreign/broken English families, military families....I get to go to daycares, schools....I get to be with nannies and babysitters......I have little siblings (or sometimes older) that want to work with us nonstop! .....I see so many different things everyday.
Anyways, truth be told....
I really need to get to bed.....I like leaving you with quotes....here's a good one I read the other day!
"Often,
the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and
caring we extend to those we meet along the path of life." -Elder
Wirthlin
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
Silver Lining
Ok Blog......we gotta make this post work. I've started, I think, six or so posts this past month.....aaaand.....it's obvious that nothing has actually made it to the publish button.
I'm gonna make this one go there though! ..............I hope.
I have so much on my mind, I think that's why none of my posts have been published. All of my posts have been here........and there......and really, everywhere and nothing is making sense when I type. I just gotta calm down, I guess! Ha ha.
First and foremost, the main thing that is on my mind, is the fact that I'm not starting school this year.
I may or may not be having a complete melodramatic break down over this fact.
(Sometimes I'm irrational........and sometimes I choose to blog about it........this is one of those times........)
It feels SO weird to not be starting school again. It feels weird not being a student anymore. But I think it feels even weirder not being a teacher (k, I was never a teacher) anymore. Ever since my senior year of high school (which might as well be twenty years ago for how much I'm exaggerating) I've worked in schools...I've been a teacher-of-sorts.
Most of my life I was convinced that I was going to teach elementary school. It's just weird trying to erase the idea of being an eternal school goer, when most of my life I thought I was going to be.
Oh well, I guess I can move on.
Moving on is weird. Growing up is weird. Getting over things is even weirder.
I don't think I'm very good at getting over things, and I'm definitely not good at growing up. I feel like I've grown up a lot this year (even though up until this point in this post you'd never think that about me, ha ha).
I dare say this year has been one of the hardest for me, even though I don't want to admit it. Admitting is part of the "getting over it" process though, right? Admitting is the first step?
It's interesting as I've gone through these past couple of months how I've evaluated life and thought about everything that's happening around me. I've been so egocentric and selfish this past while, but at the same time I've been kicking myself to think about other people.
Lose yourself and go to work.
That's so much harder than it should be.
Amid all of this evaluation of life I've come to the conclusion that 'you never really know what another person is going through'. I've always heard people say that....I've nodded my head and internally said..."yeah yeah yeah, I get it, I know." (when really I've had no idea)
I think in most people's lives that phrase miraculously hits you like a ton of bricks one day and you can finally say: "Ok, I really do know what that means."
So where is the silver lining?
I've come to learn that it's pretty much everywhere, you just have to open your eyes and look for it.
I made a Facebook status today about my job and how it breaks my heart on a regular basis. As much as I hate to watch other people go through hard things, it makes me that much more grateful for everything I have in my life.
I left my last session of work today nearly in tears cause the mom I was talking to made me so sad! Oh my goodness, I feel so bad for so many of the families I work with. This mom is from Mexico and is SUPER bilingual. She talks to her children in Spanglish.........and Spanglish only, ha ha. I'm glad I know Spanish enough to know what she's shouting at her children at any given moment.
Before I left today she was telling me about her son who I work with and how sad it makes her that he can't be like other children. She said: "They told me that he has........asp.....aspergers? I was reading things about it, but I don't know anything about it." She just kept talking and telling me how hard everything is and I was seriously going to lose it, listening to her snapped my heart in half.
I really do love my job despite how emotional it makes me. It's so rewarding to see the children I work with make the progress that they do. It's even better to see their parents happy and feel good about their child's behavior. I'm very glad I got this job. Even though it's not in a school and doesn't technically make me a teacher.......it's still perfect, I think. :)
Because of the new school year my schedule at work is changing. All of the kids I work with will be in school (pre-school/head start etc.) so they can't have therapy during the day. Since that's the case I'll be working six hours a day, but with a big four hour gap in the middle, ha ha. Three hours, four hour break, another three hours. Weird, huh? It'll be good though in many ways. I'm going to be able to devote a good chunk of that time to my second job........playing the harp.
I've never done that, so it's going to be really good. My mom and husband both get so mad at me that I haven't played as much as I should. .............cause really, I don't play anywhere as much as I should.
I really should end this post with saying how blessed I feel. I have so much going for me and so many things that help me feel love from my Father in Heaven. I have the most tolerant (seriously), compassionate husband. He never stops trying to make me happy. I have the greatest parents (all three sets of them) a girl could ask for. I always know that they love me.
I'm going to leave you with a quote that I found recently that I've decided needs to play on repeat in my head always.....I love Elder Holland... :)
“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.
God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe.”
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
<3 br="">
I'm gonna make this one go there though! ..............I hope.
I have so much on my mind, I think that's why none of my posts have been published. All of my posts have been here........and there......and really, everywhere and nothing is making sense when I type. I just gotta calm down, I guess! Ha ha.
First and foremost, the main thing that is on my mind, is the fact that I'm not starting school this year.
I may or may not be having a complete melodramatic break down over this fact.
(Sometimes I'm irrational........and sometimes I choose to blog about it........this is one of those times........)
It feels SO weird to not be starting school again. It feels weird not being a student anymore. But I think it feels even weirder not being a teacher (k, I was never a teacher) anymore. Ever since my senior year of high school (which might as well be twenty years ago for how much I'm exaggerating) I've worked in schools...I've been a teacher-of-sorts.
Most of my life I was convinced that I was going to teach elementary school. It's just weird trying to erase the idea of being an eternal school goer, when most of my life I thought I was going to be.
Oh well, I guess I can move on.
Moving on is weird. Growing up is weird. Getting over things is even weirder.
I don't think I'm very good at getting over things, and I'm definitely not good at growing up. I feel like I've grown up a lot this year (even though up until this point in this post you'd never think that about me, ha ha).
I dare say this year has been one of the hardest for me, even though I don't want to admit it. Admitting is part of the "getting over it" process though, right? Admitting is the first step?
It's interesting as I've gone through these past couple of months how I've evaluated life and thought about everything that's happening around me. I've been so egocentric and selfish this past while, but at the same time I've been kicking myself to think about other people.
Lose yourself and go to work.
That's so much harder than it should be.
Amid all of this evaluation of life I've come to the conclusion that 'you never really know what another person is going through'. I've always heard people say that....I've nodded my head and internally said..."yeah yeah yeah, I get it, I know." (when really I've had no idea)
I think in most people's lives that phrase miraculously hits you like a ton of bricks one day and you can finally say: "Ok, I really do know what that means."
So where is the silver lining?
I've come to learn that it's pretty much everywhere, you just have to open your eyes and look for it.
I made a Facebook status today about my job and how it breaks my heart on a regular basis. As much as I hate to watch other people go through hard things, it makes me that much more grateful for everything I have in my life.
I left my last session of work today nearly in tears cause the mom I was talking to made me so sad! Oh my goodness, I feel so bad for so many of the families I work with. This mom is from Mexico and is SUPER bilingual. She talks to her children in Spanglish.........and Spanglish only, ha ha. I'm glad I know Spanish enough to know what she's shouting at her children at any given moment.
Before I left today she was telling me about her son who I work with and how sad it makes her that he can't be like other children. She said: "They told me that he has........asp.....aspergers? I was reading things about it, but I don't know anything about it." She just kept talking and telling me how hard everything is and I was seriously going to lose it, listening to her snapped my heart in half.
I really do love my job despite how emotional it makes me. It's so rewarding to see the children I work with make the progress that they do. It's even better to see their parents happy and feel good about their child's behavior. I'm very glad I got this job. Even though it's not in a school and doesn't technically make me a teacher.......it's still perfect, I think. :)
Because of the new school year my schedule at work is changing. All of the kids I work with will be in school (pre-school/head start etc.) so they can't have therapy during the day. Since that's the case I'll be working six hours a day, but with a big four hour gap in the middle, ha ha. Three hours, four hour break, another three hours. Weird, huh? It'll be good though in many ways. I'm going to be able to devote a good chunk of that time to my second job........playing the harp.
I've never done that, so it's going to be really good. My mom and husband both get so mad at me that I haven't played as much as I should. .............cause really, I don't play anywhere as much as I should.
I really should end this post with saying how blessed I feel. I have so much going for me and so many things that help me feel love from my Father in Heaven. I have the most tolerant (seriously), compassionate husband. He never stops trying to make me happy. I have the greatest parents (all three sets of them) a girl could ask for. I always know that they love me.
I'm going to leave you with a quote that I found recently that I've decided needs to play on repeat in my head always.....I love Elder Holland... :)
“God expects you to have enough faith and determination and enough trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. In fact, He expects you not simply to face the future (that sounds pretty grim and stoic); He expects you to embrace and shape the future--to love it and rejoice in it and delight in your opportunities.
God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream. In short, He can't if you don't believe.”
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
<3 br="">
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Not Wishing - Just Visiting {Facebook}
So I have this friend who prompted me to blog for his own selfish reading pleasure (or something like that), and since I'm a sucker for peer pressure....
I'm giving in.
Ha, no, I really should blog more. I just come up with way too many excuses about why I shouldn't.
"Nobody is even going to read it....blah blah."
"I don't want people knowing about my life...blah blah."
"What if I sound weird....blah blah."
Well, the reality is - all of those reasons are valid. But if they were actually at all important then nobody would EVER blog, right? Right. :)
Thisselfish friend of mine is a great guy that I was really good friends with in high school! And honestly, he's about the least selfish person ever. (just to prove my point you should go check out the documentary that he's been helping with in California - http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/22534752/dogtown-redemption-0)
I don't think I've seen him for almost two years. Maybe?? He and his girlfriend (now fiancee) came to a bbq Jeff and I had one summer....but I'm kind of thinking that was two years ago. Nevertheless, I feel like I'm still connected to him because of one simple, sometimes creepy, way.
Facebook.
Facebook is great. Facebook is weird. Facebook is exciting. Facebook is stalker-ish. Facebook makes me waste a lot of time. But really....Facebook makes me feel like I'm connected with people from my past that I really never see or talk to anymore.
Even without my friend coaxing me to blog, I've actually been considering blogging about high school and the time that has happened between then and now.
Due to Facebook I have a very large outlet that allows me to look at nearly every person I went to high school with and see where they are in life now - FIVE years later.
Five years, really? Five years seems like the shortest amount of time ever. Five years also seems like a huge amount of time, because SO much has happened.
And really, so much HAS happened.
I look at the people I graduated with and I see college graduates, graduate school students, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, every occupation you could think of (except for maybe doctor :) ), world travelers, home bodies who think going to Salt Lake is going out of town, people that have been through incredibly hard - personal trials that I can't even imagine, people who think the fact that the Jamba Juice worker got their order wrong is the biggest tragedy thatmaybe could ever happen to a human being........
........the list goes on and on....
Anyways, I see all of those things on a daily basis and it's brought me to one big, maybe fictitious, maybe actual real life conclusion....
Everyone always wishes they had something that other people have.
But the beauty in that is....
And if that's not the case, then they definitely wish they had something that someone else in a different situation has.
(Confused yet? Me too.)
I find myself looking at people on Facebook who have traveled the world and I say to myself - "Oh man, I want that, that looks like so much fun!" I think I forget too quickly that I really have traveled the world (in my own way). I can't sit and wish I was somewhere else because that will get me nowhere.
"Work will win when wishy washy wishing won't!" -President Monson
I also find myself looking at Facebook with all the people having babies and I say to myself - "Oh man, I want a baby! That looks like so much fun!" I think I also forget too quickly how my life will never be the same once we start having a family. I need to think more in the here and now and cherish everything I've already been blessed with.
I do think having a baby will be the best thing ever though, just sayin'. :)
Another fun thing about looking at people from high school is analyzing where they are at in life.
Jeff wouldPROBABLY say that I'm judging people, but in my heart of hearts I don't really think I am. (and now you're all judging me for even saying that :-P)
I work with people....I analyze behavior....that's my job title...it's in my job description to watch behavior. (Is this justification?Yes. Noooooo.) I do it with autistic kids in order to make a living, I do it with friends, family, and acquaintances I know for my own thrill of figuring people out. I love psychology probably more than anyone will ever know, so we'll say it's all good.
Figuring people out it hard. Especially over Facebook. And since Facebook isn't a true representation of what a person is actually like that makes it even harder. We all know that many people aren't truly, fully themselves over Facebook. Nonetheless, I still think it's fun to look at people from high school and see where they are at. Geographically. Mentally. Socially. All the -ly's you can think of.
There are SO many people who are so much more successful than I am! I guess it's all about perception though, cause they might say the same thing about me.
I have so many friends that have babies, masters degrees, own houses.... I consider all of those things to be very successful. It's neat to see so many people I care about have all of those things. And honestly, I'm not jealous. I know I'll have all of those things eventually.
I hope.
Something happened today that made me very grateful for my current situation. It was the simplest thing too, but it made me so grateful for what I have....
My visiting teachers came over!
I know that's probably not a big deal to most people, but it was exactly what I needed. I think God knew that I needed that companionship and to feel that bond of sisterhood in my life. I have so many great friends, most of them being my family, so I really can't say I'm lacking socially, but really....it felt so nice to visit with those ladies and to know that they care about me.
I could really feel my Savior's love as I visited with them.
I honestly think that's the most important thing when considering everything I've been talking about.
I think if I'm close to my Father in Heaven and I can feel that love then I won't ever need to feel like I need to be like anybody else. I won't ever need something that someone else has.
It meant so much to me that they came over and talked with me for the half hour that they did. I don't ever think that I would tell my visiting teachers my personal struggles, even though I know they would be more than willing to listen. Just having them tell me that they are there for me and that I have the option to call them whenever I need it.... that's enough for me.
And thus I leave you with this quote to sum up how I feel......
I'm giving in.
Ha, no, I really should blog more. I just come up with way too many excuses about why I shouldn't.
"Nobody is even going to read it....blah blah."
"I don't want people knowing about my life...blah blah."
"What if I sound weird....blah blah."
Well, the reality is - all of those reasons are valid. But if they were actually at all important then nobody would EVER blog, right? Right. :)
This
I don't think I've seen him for almost two years. Maybe?? He and his girlfriend (now fiancee) came to a bbq Jeff and I had one summer....but I'm kind of thinking that was two years ago. Nevertheless, I feel like I'm still connected to him because of one simple, sometimes creepy, way.
Facebook.
Facebook is great. Facebook is weird. Facebook is exciting. Facebook is stalker-ish. Facebook makes me waste a lot of time. But really....Facebook makes me feel like I'm connected with people from my past that I really never see or talk to anymore.
Even without my friend coaxing me to blog, I've actually been considering blogging about high school and the time that has happened between then and now.
Due to Facebook I have a very large outlet that allows me to look at nearly every person I went to high school with and see where they are in life now - FIVE years later.
Five years, really? Five years seems like the shortest amount of time ever. Five years also seems like a huge amount of time, because SO much has happened.
And really, so much HAS happened.
I look at the people I graduated with and I see college graduates, graduate school students, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, every occupation you could think of (except for maybe doctor :) ), world travelers, home bodies who think going to Salt Lake is going out of town, people that have been through incredibly hard - personal trials that I can't even imagine, people who think the fact that the Jamba Juice worker got their order wrong is the biggest tragedy that
........the list goes on and on....
Anyways, I see all of those things on a daily basis and it's brought me to one big, maybe fictitious, maybe actual real life conclusion....
Everyone always wishes they had something that other people have.
But the beauty in that is....
The people who you wish you were like....THEY wish they had something that YOU have.
And if that's not the case, then they definitely wish they had something that someone else in a different situation has.
(Confused yet? Me too.)
I find myself looking at people on Facebook who have traveled the world and I say to myself - "Oh man, I want that, that looks like so much fun!" I think I forget too quickly that I really have traveled the world (in my own way). I can't sit and wish I was somewhere else because that will get me nowhere.
"Work will win when wishy washy wishing won't!" -President Monson
I also find myself looking at Facebook with all the people having babies and I say to myself - "Oh man, I want a baby! That looks like so much fun!" I think I also forget too quickly how my life will never be the same once we start having a family. I need to think more in the here and now and cherish everything I've already been blessed with.
I do think having a baby will be the best thing ever though, just sayin'. :)
Another fun thing about looking at people from high school is analyzing where they are at in life.
Jeff would
I work with people....I analyze behavior....that's my job title...it's in my job description to watch behavior. (Is this justification?
Figuring people out it hard. Especially over Facebook. And since Facebook isn't a true representation of what a person is actually like that makes it even harder. We all know that many people aren't truly, fully themselves over Facebook. Nonetheless, I still think it's fun to look at people from high school and see where they are at. Geographically. Mentally. Socially. All the -ly's you can think of.
There are SO many people who are so much more successful than I am! I guess it's all about perception though, cause they might say the same thing about me.
I have so many friends that have babies, masters degrees, own houses.... I consider all of those things to be very successful. It's neat to see so many people I care about have all of those things. And honestly, I'm not jealous. I know I'll have all of those things eventually.
I hope.
Something happened today that made me very grateful for my current situation. It was the simplest thing too, but it made me so grateful for what I have....
My visiting teachers came over!
I know that's probably not a big deal to most people, but it was exactly what I needed. I think God knew that I needed that companionship and to feel that bond of sisterhood in my life. I have so many great friends, most of them being my family, so I really can't say I'm lacking socially, but really....it felt so nice to visit with those ladies and to know that they care about me.
I could really feel my Savior's love as I visited with them.
I honestly think that's the most important thing when considering everything I've been talking about.
I think if I'm close to my Father in Heaven and I can feel that love then I won't ever need to feel like I need to be like anybody else. I won't ever need something that someone else has.
It meant so much to me that they came over and talked with me for the half hour that they did. I don't ever think that I would tell my visiting teachers my personal struggles, even though I know they would be more than willing to listen. Just having them tell me that they are there for me and that I have the option to call them whenever I need it.... that's enough for me.
And thus I leave you with this quote to sum up how I feel......
"God does notice us, and he watches over us, but it usually through another person that He meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom."
-President Spencer W. Kimball
:)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Day Off..............
Today's my first day off with nothing to do in........................
...........................................
................k, I really don't remember.
So what am I doing? Staring at Facebook, Pinterest, and my email waiting for something to happen. Sooooo productive! It's only 10:00 though, something great is bound to happen, right?
No, I have about five or six things to accomplish today, including going down to the main office of my work and talking with my boss.
..........oh yeah.........and GETTING AN IPAD!
It's a work iPad........so don't get all excited. (even though I am....rather excited about it) (as is my husband who will probably use it more than me. It's inevitable.)
Okay, enough of those fragment sentences that are grammatically incorrect, let's move on.
I got a new job! I've had so much relief and anxiety associated with this change in my life. There are SO many pros, and only a few cons, so truly it's an excellent situation.
Much like my major in college this job involves a description, one in which I'm not very good at giving. "You're an Early Childhood major? What is that?"................ "You're an autism interventionist? What is that?"
First people have to realize that I said "autism". After that spark lights up in their eyes they go from confused to - "Oh...autism....OoooHHhhhh...wow, that takes a certain kind of person doesn't it?" I usually just laugh and say, yeah, but I think it's fun!
So really what I do is I work for this great company that does many different kinds of therapies for all ages throughout Utah. Their primary therapy is this ABA autism stuff that I do, but they also do other things. The ladies that founded the company started out doing ABA with autistic kids and that was their passion. After they did this for awhile they realized that autism affects the WHOLE family, not just the child who is autistic. They then hired some doctors and began doing mental health counseling, marriage counseling, etc. This all eventually lead to even further behavior therapy like substance abuse and really anything you can think of.
They are a pretty stellar company!
They are everywhere in the state too. They are primarily anywhere between Ogden and Lehi, but they also branch out and have clients in Tremonton, Vernal, St. George.....
They're everywhere!
I work in the "north" which means I do Davis and Weber County. Most of my clients are in Layton, actually!
So what I do is I go to the house of my client and work with them for three hours doing the ABA therapy. I generally have two of these three hour sessions a day, but sometimes I have three. I work anywhere from 6-9 hours a day.
The ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) is pretty in depth. I have to do very discrete things like sit the child down and make them identify objects, sounds, comparisons, etc. Many of the children I work with are low functioning so I work with them on colors, animals, daily functions, and all the basics of life. Other parts of the therapy include learning how to cope with social situations, which is maybe the hardest part for most children with autism. I put my kids in tough situations and teach them to work through it. One little boy that I work with HATES having his car mat touched, sat on, or messed with. He's the sweetest boy though so he doesn't get mad when I do any of those things, he just whimpers and gets very distressed. He's not extremely verbal, but when I do sit on the mat he'll say to me: "Ama, ah? Ama ah!" ("Amber, off! Amber, off!") I have to redirect him and make him at least say: "Off please", which he tries really hard and says something that sounds like that.
So besides the discrete sitting at a table and working part of the therapy, I get to do a lot of playing too! I'll take my clients on walks, we'll go to the park, we'll play with play dough/cars/stuffed animals....
I get to take a child on a field trip once a week too! Last week we went to the zoo for six hours. That was.........an experience! Ha ha.
I definitely learned first hand what it feels like to be the caregiver of an out of control special needs child and to have, what it feels like, all of society looking at you with wide eyes that say: "Can you honestly not control your child? Why did you even bring them out into this public place if you can't handle them properly?"
It's SO good for these kids to get out and experience real life situations though. Because they do get those stares....ALL the time....it makes it hard for parents or caregivers to take them places. I was really happy to take that sweet girl to the zoo last week! I'll get to do a lot more of those this summer too as the weeks go by.
Autism is so fascinating to me. It has been ever since I worked at the autistic preschool over a year ago. The causes of autism are so unknown, I wish there was more definite research on it. I definitely love working with these cute children though.
It's weird being called a "therapist". It makes me feel.............old.....or like I should be a lot more wise than I actually am. I did go through a lot of school, training, and work experience to be where I am though, so I'll take the title if they are willing to give it to me!
It also feels weird being at a point in my life where I could really make this a career. In SO many ways I'm so grateful I got this job. They are extremely flexible with how many hours/sessions you want to work and where you're willing to work, I absolutely love it! If I would have gotten a job working for head start or at another pre-school/kindergarten I would have only been guaranteed a job on a school year to school year basis....and I would have been expected to stay full-time all the time or they wouldn't have let me keep the job. With THIS job it is perfect because I can work full-time now and up until I have a baby, then after I do start having kids I can go to only a couple sessions a week and still keep the job. I could do a couple Saturday sessions or a couple sessions week nights and still be a stay-at-home mom! They have a later afternoon session from 4:00 - 7:00, so if I did a couple of those a week it would be perfect.
Who knows though, maybe once I do have a baby I'll want to just quit altogether. I won't know till that happens, I suppose. And sorry, I'm still NOT pregnant, so all of this baby talk isn't for any other reason other than speculation for the future. :)
Well, 2013 has been a very interesting year so far! It's about half way through which is crazy. It hasn't ended up at all like I thought it would. It's amazing how our lives change so much everyday, every week, every month....we are constantly changing, rearranging, and we never stop growing. At least I feel like I never do. I feel so much stronger than I did in 2012, but I still have to face lots of days when I feel incredibly weak. I don't mean physically....I'm not ill or anything of the sort. I mean spiritually, emotionally, cognitively........all of those ways.
I think 2013 has made me a little bit more of an introvert. I'm not as open with everyone and everything as I used to be. Maybe I'm wrong....and maybe you're all reading this thinking: "TMI, Amber. T. M. I." but at least from what I've seen I have changed into a little more of an introverted person. There are also people in the world who probably never saw me as anything BUT an introvert, so surprise! You're correct. At least in my eyes.
My mom showed me this video on introverts a couple months ago and I kind of love it. Watch it!
Also, I saw something on Pinterest today that I kind of loved, I think I will leave you with it!
"The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible." :)
...........................................
................k, I really don't remember.
So what am I doing? Staring at Facebook, Pinterest, and my email waiting for something to happen. Sooooo productive! It's only 10:00 though, something great is bound to happen, right?
No, I have about five or six things to accomplish today, including going down to the main office of my work and talking with my boss.
..........oh yeah.........and GETTING AN IPAD!
It's a work iPad........so don't get all excited. (even though I am....rather excited about it) (as is my husband who will probably use it more than me. It's inevitable.)
Okay, enough of those fragment sentences that are grammatically incorrect, let's move on.
I got a new job! I've had so much relief and anxiety associated with this change in my life. There are SO many pros, and only a few cons, so truly it's an excellent situation.
Much like my major in college this job involves a description, one in which I'm not very good at giving. "You're an Early Childhood major? What is that?"................ "You're an autism interventionist? What is that?"
First people have to realize that I said "autism". After that spark lights up in their eyes they go from confused to - "Oh...autism....OoooHHhhhh...wow, that takes a certain kind of person doesn't it?" I usually just laugh and say, yeah, but I think it's fun!
So really what I do is I work for this great company that does many different kinds of therapies for all ages throughout Utah. Their primary therapy is this ABA autism stuff that I do, but they also do other things. The ladies that founded the company started out doing ABA with autistic kids and that was their passion. After they did this for awhile they realized that autism affects the WHOLE family, not just the child who is autistic. They then hired some doctors and began doing mental health counseling, marriage counseling, etc. This all eventually lead to even further behavior therapy like substance abuse and really anything you can think of.
They are a pretty stellar company!
They are everywhere in the state too. They are primarily anywhere between Ogden and Lehi, but they also branch out and have clients in Tremonton, Vernal, St. George.....
They're everywhere!
I work in the "north" which means I do Davis and Weber County. Most of my clients are in Layton, actually!
So what I do is I go to the house of my client and work with them for three hours doing the ABA therapy. I generally have two of these three hour sessions a day, but sometimes I have three. I work anywhere from 6-9 hours a day.
The ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) is pretty in depth. I have to do very discrete things like sit the child down and make them identify objects, sounds, comparisons, etc. Many of the children I work with are low functioning so I work with them on colors, animals, daily functions, and all the basics of life. Other parts of the therapy include learning how to cope with social situations, which is maybe the hardest part for most children with autism. I put my kids in tough situations and teach them to work through it. One little boy that I work with HATES having his car mat touched, sat on, or messed with. He's the sweetest boy though so he doesn't get mad when I do any of those things, he just whimpers and gets very distressed. He's not extremely verbal, but when I do sit on the mat he'll say to me: "Ama, ah? Ama ah!" ("Amber, off! Amber, off!") I have to redirect him and make him at least say: "Off please", which he tries really hard and says something that sounds like that.
So besides the discrete sitting at a table and working part of the therapy, I get to do a lot of playing too! I'll take my clients on walks, we'll go to the park, we'll play with play dough/cars/stuffed animals....
I get to take a child on a field trip once a week too! Last week we went to the zoo for six hours. That was.........an experience! Ha ha.
I definitely learned first hand what it feels like to be the caregiver of an out of control special needs child and to have, what it feels like, all of society looking at you with wide eyes that say: "Can you honestly not control your child? Why did you even bring them out into this public place if you can't handle them properly?"
It's SO good for these kids to get out and experience real life situations though. Because they do get those stares....ALL the time....it makes it hard for parents or caregivers to take them places. I was really happy to take that sweet girl to the zoo last week! I'll get to do a lot more of those this summer too as the weeks go by.
Autism is so fascinating to me. It has been ever since I worked at the autistic preschool over a year ago. The causes of autism are so unknown, I wish there was more definite research on it. I definitely love working with these cute children though.
It's weird being called a "therapist". It makes me feel.............old.....or like I should be a lot more wise than I actually am. I did go through a lot of school, training, and work experience to be where I am though, so I'll take the title if they are willing to give it to me!
It also feels weird being at a point in my life where I could really make this a career. In SO many ways I'm so grateful I got this job. They are extremely flexible with how many hours/sessions you want to work and where you're willing to work, I absolutely love it! If I would have gotten a job working for head start or at another pre-school/kindergarten I would have only been guaranteed a job on a school year to school year basis....and I would have been expected to stay full-time all the time or they wouldn't have let me keep the job. With THIS job it is perfect because I can work full-time now and up until I have a baby, then after I do start having kids I can go to only a couple sessions a week and still keep the job. I could do a couple Saturday sessions or a couple sessions week nights and still be a stay-at-home mom! They have a later afternoon session from 4:00 - 7:00, so if I did a couple of those a week it would be perfect.
Who knows though, maybe once I do have a baby I'll want to just quit altogether. I won't know till that happens, I suppose. And sorry, I'm still NOT pregnant, so all of this baby talk isn't for any other reason other than speculation for the future. :)
Well, 2013 has been a very interesting year so far! It's about half way through which is crazy. It hasn't ended up at all like I thought it would. It's amazing how our lives change so much everyday, every week, every month....we are constantly changing, rearranging, and we never stop growing. At least I feel like I never do. I feel so much stronger than I did in 2012, but I still have to face lots of days when I feel incredibly weak. I don't mean physically....I'm not ill or anything of the sort. I mean spiritually, emotionally, cognitively........all of those ways.
I think 2013 has made me a little bit more of an introvert. I'm not as open with everyone and everything as I used to be. Maybe I'm wrong....and maybe you're all reading this thinking: "TMI, Amber. T. M. I." but at least from what I've seen I have changed into a little more of an introverted person. There are also people in the world who probably never saw me as anything BUT an introvert, so surprise! You're correct. At least in my eyes.
My mom showed me this video on introverts a couple months ago and I kind of love it. Watch it!
Also, I saw something on Pinterest today that I kind of loved, I think I will leave you with it!
"The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible." :)
Monday, April 29, 2013
Graduated Grass Guru
According to my blog this is my 100th post!
Who knew?
I guess my blog knew.
I better make it good if it's going to be worthy of being number 100. :)
Well, I'm officially a college graduate! I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I definitely feel like a minority. I'm a girl. I'm a married girl. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years and doesn't have a baby. And I have a bachelor's degree. It's kind of a minority category in Utah, ha ha. Usually girls who get bachelor's degrees in Utah are single. Oooooor they are older and have children already. I'm just weird, I guess.
I guess I better join the baby bandwagon now, huh?
Yeah. Probably. Ha ha.
That's a story for a different time though.
:)
I'm starting up my mowing job again tomorrow. Wooooo! Yay grass! It will be my sixth year doing it. That's a little ridiculous, huh? Ha ha ha ha. Sigh. I'll get a real person job someday. Maybe.
I don't really want to admit how long I've been looking for a job to start upon graduation (because there was no reason why I should have been looking for a job to start NOW that many months ago) but I WILL say that I've been sifting through Early Childhood jobs for quite some time.
I've come to realize that the quality ones.....the ones worth getting are the type that are only during the school year. Because of this, the three or so jobs that I have my eye most firmly on don't start till August. Also, since that is the case, they aren't going to tell me if I get the job or not for another month or two.
I guess it makes me grateful that I have such a nice summer job to fall back on. I'm comfortable doing it, I'm comfortable with the people there, I get paid well....so I don't really mind mowing grass for three months if it means getting a better job than daycare.
Daycare. Sigh. What ruin found me there. It was definitely a learning experience. It taught me that I never want to do that kind of a thing with my life! It also taught me that there aren't nearly enough quality childcare facilities in the world for how many families use daycare every day for their babies.
At my graduation there were six of us that graduated with my degree. Six! It's not a very popular degree. I think that biggest reason behind that is not enough people know about it.
Whenever people think of education they think of being an elementary school teacher. They never consider that there is anything else but that. The majority of people don't think that little people (children younger than five) need to be educated. They just think they need to be watched and make sure they don't hurt themselves.
I wish more people went into the field of early childhood education. Quality education during those years sets people up to have so many more advantages later in life.
I think another reason people lean more towards teaching older children is due to the fact that they don't have to have as much patience with them. (In my mind I have to have MORE patience for older children cause they drive me more nuts!)
I feel kind of empty now that I'm graduated. I really hope I get one of the jobs that I'm waiting on cause I think it will fill the emptiness that I'm feeling.
One of the best things about graduating is being able to look back and think of the people who made it possible for you to get there. I think one of the biggest reasons I feel kind of empty is because I've never had nothing to do before. I've never been done with something to the point where I don't need to worry about the future or the accomplishments I'm working towards. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is the hardest working person I know! He definitely taught me how to love work and how important education is. I think he is a big reason why I did graduate. Between him and all of the other people in my life that support me I can't really say that I graduated all on my own.
Speaking of people who have helped me along the way, I think Jeff is going to love having me graduated more than I will love being done. This last semester of student teaching and doing my internship was rough. I was working with children between the ages of one and five for close to 10 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I love children that age, and I feel like I put on a happy face when I was with the children/my fellow teachers, but at home every night I was not a very happy camper. I was SO tired and so cranky all the time. I was not a very nice person to live with I don't think.
It's going to be nice mowing and taking a couple of months to renew my morale. I definitely burnt myself out working 50 hour weeks this semester. I'm going to try to be a nice person to live with again too. :) ha ha
Can I ever say how grateful I am for Jeff in these posts?
Probably not.
I was the one who was being difficult to live with when he's been working that hard every semester since we've been married. He worked full-time and took fifteen credits this last semester. He's ending up with mostly A's too. I think he might get one B (or B+ we don't know yet). I don't know how he does it. It makes me cry when I think about it cause it makes me feel so undeserving of his patience and kindness towards me.
He's so great to me! :)
Well, the next couple of months should be interesting to see what happens. The next year will be interesting too! A lot is going to happen! Jeff will keep getting closer to being done with school, hopefully I'll get a good teaching job, Jeff might cave and get me a parakeet....ya never know what's going to happen! Ha ha.
There are several hobbies I've been wanting to start now that I'm graduated too. If I actually do start them up I may tell you about them. A couple of them I'm a little hesitant to talk about till I try them out first. I'm definitely going to play my harp more now. I even want to start teaching lessons, but that might have to wait till I can play for six or so months and get good again. :) We shall see........
So much change, but it's a good kind of change!
"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. God sees us in terms of forever." <3 br="">
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Who knew?
I guess my blog knew.
I better make it good if it's going to be worthy of being number 100. :)
Well, I'm officially a college graduate! I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I definitely feel like a minority. I'm a girl. I'm a married girl. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years and doesn't have a baby. And I have a bachelor's degree. It's kind of a minority category in Utah, ha ha. Usually girls who get bachelor's degrees in Utah are single. Oooooor they are older and have children already. I'm just weird, I guess.
I guess I better join the baby bandwagon now, huh?
Yeah. Probably. Ha ha.
That's a story for a different time though.
:)
I'm starting up my mowing job again tomorrow. Wooooo! Yay grass! It will be my sixth year doing it. That's a little ridiculous, huh? Ha ha ha ha. Sigh. I'll get a real person job someday. Maybe.
I don't really want to admit how long I've been looking for a job to start upon graduation (because there was no reason why I should have been looking for a job to start NOW that many months ago) but I WILL say that I've been sifting through Early Childhood jobs for quite some time.
I've come to realize that the quality ones.....the ones worth getting are the type that are only during the school year. Because of this, the three or so jobs that I have my eye most firmly on don't start till August. Also, since that is the case, they aren't going to tell me if I get the job or not for another month or two.
I guess it makes me grateful that I have such a nice summer job to fall back on. I'm comfortable doing it, I'm comfortable with the people there, I get paid well....so I don't really mind mowing grass for three months if it means getting a better job than daycare.
Daycare. Sigh. What ruin found me there. It was definitely a learning experience. It taught me that I never want to do that kind of a thing with my life! It also taught me that there aren't nearly enough quality childcare facilities in the world for how many families use daycare every day for their babies.
At my graduation there were six of us that graduated with my degree. Six! It's not a very popular degree. I think that biggest reason behind that is not enough people know about it.
Whenever people think of education they think of being an elementary school teacher. They never consider that there is anything else but that. The majority of people don't think that little people (children younger than five) need to be educated. They just think they need to be watched and make sure they don't hurt themselves.
I wish more people went into the field of early childhood education. Quality education during those years sets people up to have so many more advantages later in life.
I think another reason people lean more towards teaching older children is due to the fact that they don't have to have as much patience with them. (In my mind I have to have MORE patience for older children cause they drive me more nuts!)
I feel kind of empty now that I'm graduated. I really hope I get one of the jobs that I'm waiting on cause I think it will fill the emptiness that I'm feeling.
One of the best things about graduating is being able to look back and think of the people who made it possible for you to get there. I think one of the biggest reasons I feel kind of empty is because I've never had nothing to do before. I've never been done with something to the point where I don't need to worry about the future or the accomplishments I'm working towards. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is the hardest working person I know! He definitely taught me how to love work and how important education is. I think he is a big reason why I did graduate. Between him and all of the other people in my life that support me I can't really say that I graduated all on my own.
Speaking of people who have helped me along the way, I think Jeff is going to love having me graduated more than I will love being done. This last semester of student teaching and doing my internship was rough. I was working with children between the ages of one and five for close to 10 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I love children that age, and I feel like I put on a happy face when I was with the children/my fellow teachers, but at home every night I was not a very happy camper. I was SO tired and so cranky all the time. I was not a very nice person to live with I don't think.
It's going to be nice mowing and taking a couple of months to renew my morale. I definitely burnt myself out working 50 hour weeks this semester. I'm going to try to be a nice person to live with again too. :) ha ha
Can I ever say how grateful I am for Jeff in these posts?
Probably not.
I was the one who was being difficult to live with when he's been working that hard every semester since we've been married. He worked full-time and took fifteen credits this last semester. He's ending up with mostly A's too. I think he might get one B (or B+ we don't know yet). I don't know how he does it. It makes me cry when I think about it cause it makes me feel so undeserving of his patience and kindness towards me.
He's so great to me! :)
Well, the next couple of months should be interesting to see what happens. The next year will be interesting too! A lot is going to happen! Jeff will keep getting closer to being done with school, hopefully I'll get a good teaching job, Jeff might cave and get me a parakeet....ya never know what's going to happen! Ha ha.
There are several hobbies I've been wanting to start now that I'm graduated too. If I actually do start them up I may tell you about them. A couple of them I'm a little hesitant to talk about till I try them out first. I'm definitely going to play my harp more now. I even want to start teaching lessons, but that might have to wait till I can play for six or so months and get good again. :) We shall see........
So much change, but it's a good kind of change!
"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. God sees us in terms of forever." <3 br="">
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Look into the storm and feel the raaaain!
:)
Like most of my posts, the title really means nothing. (it's a song lyric)
It's been a month. Has it? I can't remember the last time I posted.....so it must at least be a month.
Life. L'claim.
Oy my life!
I say this to my mom pretty much every time I talk to her on the phone (a couple times a day on average).
Sometimes life isn't picture perfect, it's still pretty great, but not like you planned it to be? It's usually in the stretches of time that we don't plan that we learn the most though. I think because of that I'll be learning a lot in the next while.
Do you wish I was more specific?
Ya. Me too.
I'm graduating in a month. Whoa. It's going to be really good! At the same time it's going to be really bad........because then I have to do something with myself. Not being in school for the first time in 19 years will be strange. I kind of think I'm going to feel like I won't have anywhere to belong. Right now that's how I feel!
I've been looking ENDlessly for a good job.
Not some lame job that's going to burn me out in a matter of weeks (cause I've already found that).
Speaking of! I started my internship. I don't think I've talked about that on here yet. It's been a ride for sure. Definitely interesting. I've landed myself in the two year old classroom, with extended hours cause they actually wanted to hire me. Getting paid is better than not, right??
The toddlers are kind of hilarious. They don't talk very well yet, but they talk enough to get themselves into trouble. They like to hit and bite. They like to puke and almost make me puke with some things that come out of their diapers. They like trying to go potty, but mostly to get a treat afterwards (hate that.....).
Positive reinforcement. Ugh. *rant on early childhood development ensues*
Daycare is so interesting. If I was going to get a doctorate (or even a masters) I would definitely do research on daycare. Most definitely. It fascinates me, honestly, which in the end is good because it means this internship, turned into a job, isn't totally off the mark.
Although I do have a "job" I'm not going to keep it past graduation. Getting paid what I would get paid at McDonald's makes me sad.....especially after getting a bachelor's degree. I'm not trying to be high and mighty, because honestly my degree can't really get me the big bucks either, but....sigh. I've worked hard and I want something to show for it.....is that too much to ask!?
Sometimes I think it is, ha ha.
I've applied for lots of jobs recently, but nothing is really seeming to be right. Nothing is fitting. I've applied with Head Start in two different counties which would be cool. I'm a fan of Head Start, especially in Davis School District because you actually get a classroom in an elementary school. That would be fun.
My supervising teacher for my student teaching thinks I should work at Weber's Children's School. Aka, have the same job that she does. Ha ha. She told me I needed to apply this weekend and she would be upset if I hadn't come Monday. If it actually worked out it would be an amazingly cool job and a great experience. Who knows if it ever would work out though?
In other news, Jeff and I will be married two years on Tuesday! Craziness!
He has been such a great support to me as I've finished school. Through all of my frustrations and tears and hard times he's been the best. He is way more mature than me and way more put together. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be graduating if it wasn't for him. I love him for that.
When we first got married he told me that if I wanted to finish school I could, but if I didn't want to I didn't need to. He's always said that no matter what I do he'll love me and be proud of me. I think because of how selfless he is it pushed me to graduate. I've always wanted to graduate....but in the back of my mind I always thought it was possible that it wouldn't happen.
I'm grateful that I married the man that I did and that he makes me the best me I can be. He accepts me on days when I'm not my best me (which has been WAY too much lately with how stressed I have been). I think that's the best thing anyone could ever ask for is to have a companion that totally accepts who you are and loves you more and more all the time.
Jeff and I are going to California with my family in July to see Josh Groban! We are also going to go to Six Flags and some other wonderment too. :) With Josh's new album coming out it's been a bright spot in my otherwise hectic schedule since January. Josh always comes out with songs that seem to be PERFECT for my life at the time that he releases them. So great! His single that came out is my favorite (along with the rest of the album). I'll leave the music video here because if you're reading this......and have been feeling any of the things that I've talked about in this post you will definitely love it too.
Brave
You should also watch this because it makes me smile. A LOT! I love Josh!
Like most of my posts, the title really means nothing. (it's a song lyric)
It's been a month. Has it? I can't remember the last time I posted.....so it must at least be a month.
Life. L'claim.
Oy my life!
I say this to my mom pretty much every time I talk to her on the phone (a couple times a day on average).
Sometimes life isn't picture perfect, it's still pretty great, but not like you planned it to be? It's usually in the stretches of time that we don't plan that we learn the most though. I think because of that I'll be learning a lot in the next while.
Do you wish I was more specific?
Ya. Me too.
I'm graduating in a month. Whoa. It's going to be really good! At the same time it's going to be really bad........because then I have to do something with myself. Not being in school for the first time in 19 years will be strange. I kind of think I'm going to feel like I won't have anywhere to belong. Right now that's how I feel!
I've been looking ENDlessly for a good job.
Not some lame job that's going to burn me out in a matter of weeks (cause I've already found that).
Speaking of! I started my internship. I don't think I've talked about that on here yet. It's been a ride for sure. Definitely interesting. I've landed myself in the two year old classroom, with extended hours cause they actually wanted to hire me. Getting paid is better than not, right??
The toddlers are kind of hilarious. They don't talk very well yet, but they talk enough to get themselves into trouble. They like to hit and bite. They like to puke and almost make me puke with some things that come out of their diapers. They like trying to go potty, but mostly to get a treat afterwards (hate that.....).
Positive reinforcement. Ugh. *rant on early childhood development ensues*
Daycare is so interesting. If I was going to get a doctorate (or even a masters) I would definitely do research on daycare. Most definitely. It fascinates me, honestly, which in the end is good because it means this internship, turned into a job, isn't totally off the mark.
Although I do have a "job" I'm not going to keep it past graduation. Getting paid what I would get paid at McDonald's makes me sad.....especially after getting a bachelor's degree. I'm not trying to be high and mighty, because honestly my degree can't really get me the big bucks either, but....sigh. I've worked hard and I want something to show for it.....is that too much to ask!?
Sometimes I think it is, ha ha.
I've applied for lots of jobs recently, but nothing is really seeming to be right. Nothing is fitting. I've applied with Head Start in two different counties which would be cool. I'm a fan of Head Start, especially in Davis School District because you actually get a classroom in an elementary school. That would be fun.
My supervising teacher for my student teaching thinks I should work at Weber's Children's School. Aka, have the same job that she does. Ha ha. She told me I needed to apply this weekend and she would be upset if I hadn't come Monday. If it actually worked out it would be an amazingly cool job and a great experience. Who knows if it ever would work out though?
In other news, Jeff and I will be married two years on Tuesday! Craziness!
He has been such a great support to me as I've finished school. Through all of my frustrations and tears and hard times he's been the best. He is way more mature than me and way more put together. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be graduating if it wasn't for him. I love him for that.
When we first got married he told me that if I wanted to finish school I could, but if I didn't want to I didn't need to. He's always said that no matter what I do he'll love me and be proud of me. I think because of how selfless he is it pushed me to graduate. I've always wanted to graduate....but in the back of my mind I always thought it was possible that it wouldn't happen.
I'm grateful that I married the man that I did and that he makes me the best me I can be. He accepts me on days when I'm not my best me (which has been WAY too much lately with how stressed I have been). I think that's the best thing anyone could ever ask for is to have a companion that totally accepts who you are and loves you more and more all the time.
Jeff and I are going to California with my family in July to see Josh Groban! We are also going to go to Six Flags and some other wonderment too. :) With Josh's new album coming out it's been a bright spot in my otherwise hectic schedule since January. Josh always comes out with songs that seem to be PERFECT for my life at the time that he releases them. So great! His single that came out is my favorite (along with the rest of the album). I'll leave the music video here because if you're reading this......and have been feeling any of the things that I've talked about in this post you will definitely love it too.
Brave
You should also watch this because it makes me smile. A LOT! I love Josh!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Movin' through the adventures of life.....
I'm done with my job at the YMCA.
I start a new phase of my life tomorrow which will be totally different.
It's weird.
I learned a lot while working at the Y. I learned lots of good things. I learned lots of bad things. I learned lots of things that changed how I view the world.
I have a completely different view about: low income families, single parent families, Latino American families, African American families, Asian American families..............than I did before I started working there.
All in all I'm SO grateful I had the experience I had to work there. It really did humble me in ways I didn't think a situation like that would.
I love learning through children. They really are the best. The kids at my job really made my last week hard too by constantly hugging me, telling me they love me, telling me that I'm their favorite, telling me they wish I was their mom........
The majority of the kids I worked with came from hard situations. One boy in particular broke my heart this last week. He's a fourth grade boy who has a really weird/hard family and doesn't have a lot of love in his life. He was getting suspended from school a lot and was just kind of in a dark place.
He was one of our least favorite kids to work with cause he seemed to always cause problems.
Well, I was in charge of his homework group and making sure he got his homework done every week. On Tuesday I was helping him add fractions and it was being really hard for him. I tried making it fun and lighthearted and he seemed to be more at ease by how I was handling the situation. After we worked longer than any of the other kids, I told him I would go get him some Valentine's candy. He told me that he wanted a green conversation heart that said "Be Mine" on it. He said he wanted to give it to his Valentine, ha ha ha!
So I told him I would find one for him. (And I'm not an empty promise kind of teacher!)
I went and got the bag of candy and looked through it while my coworker talked to the kids during our daily meeting. The boy who I was finding the candy for watched me for a good seven minutes during the meeting, all the while I was looking for his heart.
When I finally found a green one with "Be Mine" on it I went over and gave it to him.
I think I'll always remember the look that was on his face.
He had this raw look that didn't have a ton of feeling behind it, but to me it almost meant: "I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that you cared enough to look for that heart for me." It made me realize that he probably doesn't have adults in his life that take time out of their lives to do things like that for him.
In the end, that heart really didn't need to be found. In fact, if I wouldn't have found it he probably would have gotten over it pretty quickly.
What he did because I DID find that piece of candy was the heartbreaking part.
We have clubs everyday and during clubs he made me a rain stick. Ha. He was in a recycled art club so he used some paper towel tubes, a water bottle, some beans, and a whole bunch of duct tape to make me a rain stick. And again when he gave it to me he had that raw emotionless look on his face almost saying: "please, accept it.".
Working with kids... you get tons and TONS of pictures, things made for you, etc. but this time it felt SO different. I knew he was proud of himself for making it for me. Especially after I enthusiastically accepted it he seemed very pleased with himself.
The hardest part of leaving that job was not knowing what the future holds for all of those children. I learned to love all of them. It's different working with low income children.
When I've worked at other elementary schools I've always left the kids knowing that they at least are going to be given some kind of chances in life. Like when I worked in Layton I knew that the large majority of the kids that I taught would go to college without a second thought, would be able to buy a house someday, or would be able to get a decent job in the future.
It's hard working within the cycle of poverty because it's harder for those children to break out of it. Realizing that you're leaving all of that behind is the hardest part for me.
Well, tomorrow I start my internship. I hope it works out! I'm kind of nervous about it.
I only have about two more months till graduation though! Spring break is only in two weeks and then once that is over I think the rest of the semester will fly by. I've really loved my student teaching so far! It's been a really big learning experience, but it's a very forgiving environment which is perfect for learning.
In other news, it's my birthday on Thursday! Jeff's been asking me what I want for my birthday and the only answer I have is......"preschool stuff!"
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm lame.
His answer to that is always: "k, but you're not going to need any of that for a long time."
(I probably really don't need anything like that till I have my own at home preschool, and that's not going to be for a couple more eons.)
Anywho, I'm going to be twenty-three. Which is old. So. Old! :)
Last week was Valentine's Day too. My poor husband has to get me stuff for Valentine's and then exactly a week later he has to do stuff for my birthday. Poor dude.
I love him a lot and I get way too spoiled by him!
I was telling Jeff the story of the boy making me the rain stick and I was telling him that I never want our children to feel the way that boy did in that moment. I want to let our kids know that they are loved SO much every day. I want them to know that I love them enough that I will spend seven pointless minutes to find them a little piece of candy. I want my kids to know that I will stop everything else that's happening to spend a minute with them. And just them.
It might seem like I'm being a little dramatic about this situation........but I think it's important to protect childhood and foster proper child development.
You'd think I was a child development major or something, huh?
Ha.
I love kids!
I'm sure I'll love the new ones I'm going to meet at my internship tomorrow too.
Onto my new adventure!
I start a new phase of my life tomorrow which will be totally different.
It's weird.
I learned a lot while working at the Y. I learned lots of good things. I learned lots of bad things. I learned lots of things that changed how I view the world.
I have a completely different view about: low income families, single parent families, Latino American families, African American families, Asian American families..............than I did before I started working there.
All in all I'm SO grateful I had the experience I had to work there. It really did humble me in ways I didn't think a situation like that would.
I love learning through children. They really are the best. The kids at my job really made my last week hard too by constantly hugging me, telling me they love me, telling me that I'm their favorite, telling me they wish I was their mom........
The majority of the kids I worked with came from hard situations. One boy in particular broke my heart this last week. He's a fourth grade boy who has a really weird/hard family and doesn't have a lot of love in his life. He was getting suspended from school a lot and was just kind of in a dark place.
He was one of our least favorite kids to work with cause he seemed to always cause problems.
Well, I was in charge of his homework group and making sure he got his homework done every week. On Tuesday I was helping him add fractions and it was being really hard for him. I tried making it fun and lighthearted and he seemed to be more at ease by how I was handling the situation. After we worked longer than any of the other kids, I told him I would go get him some Valentine's candy. He told me that he wanted a green conversation heart that said "Be Mine" on it. He said he wanted to give it to his Valentine, ha ha ha!
So I told him I would find one for him. (And I'm not an empty promise kind of teacher!)
I went and got the bag of candy and looked through it while my coworker talked to the kids during our daily meeting. The boy who I was finding the candy for watched me for a good seven minutes during the meeting, all the while I was looking for his heart.
When I finally found a green one with "Be Mine" on it I went over and gave it to him.
I think I'll always remember the look that was on his face.
He had this raw look that didn't have a ton of feeling behind it, but to me it almost meant: "I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that you cared enough to look for that heart for me." It made me realize that he probably doesn't have adults in his life that take time out of their lives to do things like that for him.
In the end, that heart really didn't need to be found. In fact, if I wouldn't have found it he probably would have gotten over it pretty quickly.
What he did because I DID find that piece of candy was the heartbreaking part.
We have clubs everyday and during clubs he made me a rain stick. Ha. He was in a recycled art club so he used some paper towel tubes, a water bottle, some beans, and a whole bunch of duct tape to make me a rain stick. And again when he gave it to me he had that raw emotionless look on his face almost saying: "please, accept it.".
Working with kids... you get tons and TONS of pictures, things made for you, etc. but this time it felt SO different. I knew he was proud of himself for making it for me. Especially after I enthusiastically accepted it he seemed very pleased with himself.
The hardest part of leaving that job was not knowing what the future holds for all of those children. I learned to love all of them. It's different working with low income children.
When I've worked at other elementary schools I've always left the kids knowing that they at least are going to be given some kind of chances in life. Like when I worked in Layton I knew that the large majority of the kids that I taught would go to college without a second thought, would be able to buy a house someday, or would be able to get a decent job in the future.
It's hard working within the cycle of poverty because it's harder for those children to break out of it. Realizing that you're leaving all of that behind is the hardest part for me.
Well, tomorrow I start my internship. I hope it works out! I'm kind of nervous about it.
I only have about two more months till graduation though! Spring break is only in two weeks and then once that is over I think the rest of the semester will fly by. I've really loved my student teaching so far! It's been a really big learning experience, but it's a very forgiving environment which is perfect for learning.
In other news, it's my birthday on Thursday! Jeff's been asking me what I want for my birthday and the only answer I have is......"preschool stuff!"
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm lame.
His answer to that is always: "k, but you're not going to need any of that for a long time."
(I probably really don't need anything like that till I have my own at home preschool, and that's not going to be for a couple more eons.)
Anywho, I'm going to be twenty-three. Which is old. So. Old! :)
Last week was Valentine's Day too. My poor husband has to get me stuff for Valentine's and then exactly a week later he has to do stuff for my birthday. Poor dude.
I love him a lot and I get way too spoiled by him!
I was telling Jeff the story of the boy making me the rain stick and I was telling him that I never want our children to feel the way that boy did in that moment. I want to let our kids know that they are loved SO much every day. I want them to know that I love them enough that I will spend seven pointless minutes to find them a little piece of candy. I want my kids to know that I will stop everything else that's happening to spend a minute with them. And just them.
It might seem like I'm being a little dramatic about this situation........but I think it's important to protect childhood and foster proper child development.
You'd think I was a child development major or something, huh?
Ha.
I love kids!
I'm sure I'll love the new ones I'm going to meet at my internship tomorrow too.
Onto my new adventure!
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