Today's my first day off with nothing to do in........................
...........................................
................k, I really don't remember.
So what am I doing? Staring at Facebook, Pinterest, and my email waiting for something to happen. Sooooo productive! It's only 10:00 though, something great is bound to happen, right?
No, I have about five or six things to accomplish today, including going down to the main office of my work and talking with my boss.
..........oh yeah.........and GETTING AN IPAD!
It's a work iPad........so don't get all excited. (even though I am....rather excited about it) (as is my husband who will probably use it more than me. It's inevitable.)
Okay, enough of those fragment sentences that are grammatically incorrect, let's move on.
I got a new job! I've had so much relief and anxiety associated with this change in my life. There are SO many pros, and only a few cons, so truly it's an excellent situation.
Much like my major in college this job involves a description, one in which I'm not very good at giving. "You're an Early Childhood major? What is that?"................ "You're an autism interventionist? What is that?"
First people have to realize that I said "autism". After that spark lights up in their eyes they go from confused to - "Oh...autism....OoooHHhhhh...wow, that takes a certain kind of person doesn't it?" I usually just laugh and say, yeah, but I think it's fun!
So really what I do is I work for this great company that does many different kinds of therapies for all ages throughout Utah. Their primary therapy is this ABA autism stuff that I do, but they also do other things. The ladies that founded the company started out doing ABA with autistic kids and that was their passion. After they did this for awhile they realized that autism affects the WHOLE family, not just the child who is autistic. They then hired some doctors and began doing mental health counseling, marriage counseling, etc. This all eventually lead to even further behavior therapy like substance abuse and really anything you can think of.
They are a pretty stellar company!
They are everywhere in the state too. They are primarily anywhere between Ogden and Lehi, but they also branch out and have clients in Tremonton, Vernal, St. George.....
They're everywhere!
I work in the "north" which means I do Davis and Weber County. Most of my clients are in Layton, actually!
So what I do is I go to the house of my client and work with them for three hours doing the ABA therapy. I generally have two of these three hour sessions a day, but sometimes I have three. I work anywhere from 6-9 hours a day.
The ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis) is pretty in depth. I have to do very discrete things like sit the child down and make them identify objects, sounds, comparisons, etc. Many of the children I work with are low functioning so I work with them on colors, animals, daily functions, and all the basics of life. Other parts of the therapy include learning how to cope with social situations, which is maybe the hardest part for most children with autism. I put my kids in tough situations and teach them to work through it. One little boy that I work with HATES having his car mat touched, sat on, or messed with. He's the sweetest boy though so he doesn't get mad when I do any of those things, he just whimpers and gets very distressed. He's not extremely verbal, but when I do sit on the mat he'll say to me: "Ama, ah? Ama ah!" ("Amber, off! Amber, off!") I have to redirect him and make him at least say: "Off please", which he tries really hard and says something that sounds like that.
So besides the discrete sitting at a table and working part of the therapy, I get to do a lot of playing too! I'll take my clients on walks, we'll go to the park, we'll play with play dough/cars/stuffed animals....
I get to take a child on a field trip once a week too! Last week we went to the zoo for six hours. That was.........an experience! Ha ha.
I definitely learned first hand what it feels like to be the caregiver of an out of control special needs child and to have, what it feels like, all of society looking at you with wide eyes that say: "Can you honestly not control your child? Why did you even bring them out into this public place if you can't handle them properly?"
It's SO good for these kids to get out and experience real life situations though. Because they do get those stares....ALL the time....it makes it hard for parents or caregivers to take them places. I was really happy to take that sweet girl to the zoo last week! I'll get to do a lot more of those this summer too as the weeks go by.
Autism is so fascinating to me. It has been ever since I worked at the autistic preschool over a year ago. The causes of autism are so unknown, I wish there was more definite research on it. I definitely love working with these cute children though.
It's weird being called a "therapist". It makes me feel.............old.....or like I should be a lot more wise than I actually am. I did go through a lot of school, training, and work experience to be where I am though, so I'll take the title if they are willing to give it to me!
It also feels weird being at a point in my life where I could really make this a career. In SO many ways I'm so grateful I got this job. They are extremely flexible with how many hours/sessions you want to work and where you're willing to work, I absolutely love it! If I would have gotten a job working for head start or at another pre-school/kindergarten I would have only been guaranteed a job on a school year to school year basis....and I would have been expected to stay full-time all the time or they wouldn't have let me keep the job. With THIS job it is perfect because I can work full-time now and up until I have a baby, then after I do start having kids I can go to only a couple sessions a week and still keep the job. I could do a couple Saturday sessions or a couple sessions week nights and still be a stay-at-home mom! They have a later afternoon session from 4:00 - 7:00, so if I did a couple of those a week it would be perfect.
Who knows though, maybe once I do have a baby I'll want to just quit altogether. I won't know till that happens, I suppose. And sorry, I'm still NOT pregnant, so all of this baby talk isn't for any other reason other than speculation for the future. :)
Well, 2013 has been a very interesting year so far! It's about half way through which is crazy. It hasn't ended up at all like I thought it would. It's amazing how our lives change so much everyday, every week, every month....we are constantly changing, rearranging, and we never stop growing. At least I feel like I never do. I feel so much stronger than I did in 2012, but I still have to face lots of days when I feel incredibly weak. I don't mean physically....I'm not ill or anything of the sort. I mean spiritually, emotionally, cognitively........all of those ways.
I think 2013 has made me a little bit more of an introvert. I'm not as open with everyone and everything as I used to be. Maybe I'm wrong....and maybe you're all reading this thinking: "TMI, Amber. T. M. I." but at least from what I've seen I have changed into a little more of an introverted person. There are also people in the world who probably never saw me as anything BUT an introvert, so surprise! You're correct. At least in my eyes.
My mom showed me this video on introverts a couple months ago and I kind of love it. Watch it!
Also, I saw something on Pinterest today that I kind of loved, I think I will leave you with it!
"The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible." :)
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, April 29, 2013
Graduated Grass Guru
According to my blog this is my 100th post!
Who knew?
I guess my blog knew.
I better make it good if it's going to be worthy of being number 100. :)
Well, I'm officially a college graduate! I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I definitely feel like a minority. I'm a girl. I'm a married girl. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years and doesn't have a baby. And I have a bachelor's degree. It's kind of a minority category in Utah, ha ha. Usually girls who get bachelor's degrees in Utah are single. Oooooor they are older and have children already. I'm just weird, I guess.
I guess I better join the baby bandwagon now, huh?
Yeah. Probably. Ha ha.
That's a story for a different time though.
:)
I'm starting up my mowing job again tomorrow. Wooooo! Yay grass! It will be my sixth year doing it. That's a little ridiculous, huh? Ha ha ha ha. Sigh. I'll get a real person job someday. Maybe.
I don't really want to admit how long I've been looking for a job to start upon graduation (because there was no reason why I should have been looking for a job to start NOW that many months ago) but I WILL say that I've been sifting through Early Childhood jobs for quite some time.
I've come to realize that the quality ones.....the ones worth getting are the type that are only during the school year. Because of this, the three or so jobs that I have my eye most firmly on don't start till August. Also, since that is the case, they aren't going to tell me if I get the job or not for another month or two.
I guess it makes me grateful that I have such a nice summer job to fall back on. I'm comfortable doing it, I'm comfortable with the people there, I get paid well....so I don't really mind mowing grass for three months if it means getting a better job than daycare.
Daycare. Sigh. What ruin found me there. It was definitely a learning experience. It taught me that I never want to do that kind of a thing with my life! It also taught me that there aren't nearly enough quality childcare facilities in the world for how many families use daycare every day for their babies.
At my graduation there were six of us that graduated with my degree. Six! It's not a very popular degree. I think that biggest reason behind that is not enough people know about it.
Whenever people think of education they think of being an elementary school teacher. They never consider that there is anything else but that. The majority of people don't think that little people (children younger than five) need to be educated. They just think they need to be watched and make sure they don't hurt themselves.
I wish more people went into the field of early childhood education. Quality education during those years sets people up to have so many more advantages later in life.
I think another reason people lean more towards teaching older children is due to the fact that they don't have to have as much patience with them. (In my mind I have to have MORE patience for older children cause they drive me more nuts!)
I feel kind of empty now that I'm graduated. I really hope I get one of the jobs that I'm waiting on cause I think it will fill the emptiness that I'm feeling.
One of the best things about graduating is being able to look back and think of the people who made it possible for you to get there. I think one of the biggest reasons I feel kind of empty is because I've never had nothing to do before. I've never been done with something to the point where I don't need to worry about the future or the accomplishments I'm working towards. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is the hardest working person I know! He definitely taught me how to love work and how important education is. I think he is a big reason why I did graduate. Between him and all of the other people in my life that support me I can't really say that I graduated all on my own.
Speaking of people who have helped me along the way, I think Jeff is going to love having me graduated more than I will love being done. This last semester of student teaching and doing my internship was rough. I was working with children between the ages of one and five for close to 10 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I love children that age, and I feel like I put on a happy face when I was with the children/my fellow teachers, but at home every night I was not a very happy camper. I was SO tired and so cranky all the time. I was not a very nice person to live with I don't think.
It's going to be nice mowing and taking a couple of months to renew my morale. I definitely burnt myself out working 50 hour weeks this semester. I'm going to try to be a nice person to live with again too. :) ha ha
Can I ever say how grateful I am for Jeff in these posts?
Probably not.
I was the one who was being difficult to live with when he's been working that hard every semester since we've been married. He worked full-time and took fifteen credits this last semester. He's ending up with mostly A's too. I think he might get one B (or B+ we don't know yet). I don't know how he does it. It makes me cry when I think about it cause it makes me feel so undeserving of his patience and kindness towards me.
He's so great to me! :)
Well, the next couple of months should be interesting to see what happens. The next year will be interesting too! A lot is going to happen! Jeff will keep getting closer to being done with school, hopefully I'll get a good teaching job, Jeff might cave and get me a parakeet....ya never know what's going to happen! Ha ha.
There are several hobbies I've been wanting to start now that I'm graduated too. If I actually do start them up I may tell you about them. A couple of them I'm a little hesitant to talk about till I try them out first. I'm definitely going to play my harp more now. I even want to start teaching lessons, but that might have to wait till I can play for six or so months and get good again. :) We shall see........
So much change, but it's a good kind of change!
"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. God sees us in terms of forever." <3 br="">
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Who knew?
I guess my blog knew.
I better make it good if it's going to be worthy of being number 100. :)
Well, I'm officially a college graduate! I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I definitely feel like a minority. I'm a girl. I'm a married girl. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years. I'm a married girl who's been married over two years and doesn't have a baby. And I have a bachelor's degree. It's kind of a minority category in Utah, ha ha. Usually girls who get bachelor's degrees in Utah are single. Oooooor they are older and have children already. I'm just weird, I guess.
I guess I better join the baby bandwagon now, huh?
Yeah. Probably. Ha ha.
That's a story for a different time though.
:)
I'm starting up my mowing job again tomorrow. Wooooo! Yay grass! It will be my sixth year doing it. That's a little ridiculous, huh? Ha ha ha ha. Sigh. I'll get a real person job someday. Maybe.
I don't really want to admit how long I've been looking for a job to start upon graduation (because there was no reason why I should have been looking for a job to start NOW that many months ago) but I WILL say that I've been sifting through Early Childhood jobs for quite some time.
I've come to realize that the quality ones.....the ones worth getting are the type that are only during the school year. Because of this, the three or so jobs that I have my eye most firmly on don't start till August. Also, since that is the case, they aren't going to tell me if I get the job or not for another month or two.
I guess it makes me grateful that I have such a nice summer job to fall back on. I'm comfortable doing it, I'm comfortable with the people there, I get paid well....so I don't really mind mowing grass for three months if it means getting a better job than daycare.
Daycare. Sigh. What ruin found me there. It was definitely a learning experience. It taught me that I never want to do that kind of a thing with my life! It also taught me that there aren't nearly enough quality childcare facilities in the world for how many families use daycare every day for their babies.
At my graduation there were six of us that graduated with my degree. Six! It's not a very popular degree. I think that biggest reason behind that is not enough people know about it.
Whenever people think of education they think of being an elementary school teacher. They never consider that there is anything else but that. The majority of people don't think that little people (children younger than five) need to be educated. They just think they need to be watched and make sure they don't hurt themselves.
I wish more people went into the field of early childhood education. Quality education during those years sets people up to have so many more advantages later in life.
I think another reason people lean more towards teaching older children is due to the fact that they don't have to have as much patience with them. (In my mind I have to have MORE patience for older children cause they drive me more nuts!)
I feel kind of empty now that I'm graduated. I really hope I get one of the jobs that I'm waiting on cause I think it will fill the emptiness that I'm feeling.
One of the best things about graduating is being able to look back and think of the people who made it possible for you to get there. I think one of the biggest reasons I feel kind of empty is because I've never had nothing to do before. I've never been done with something to the point where I don't need to worry about the future or the accomplishments I'm working towards. I think I get that from my dad. My dad is the hardest working person I know! He definitely taught me how to love work and how important education is. I think he is a big reason why I did graduate. Between him and all of the other people in my life that support me I can't really say that I graduated all on my own.
Speaking of people who have helped me along the way, I think Jeff is going to love having me graduated more than I will love being done. This last semester of student teaching and doing my internship was rough. I was working with children between the ages of one and five for close to 10 hours a day. Don't get me wrong, I love children that age, and I feel like I put on a happy face when I was with the children/my fellow teachers, but at home every night I was not a very happy camper. I was SO tired and so cranky all the time. I was not a very nice person to live with I don't think.
It's going to be nice mowing and taking a couple of months to renew my morale. I definitely burnt myself out working 50 hour weeks this semester. I'm going to try to be a nice person to live with again too. :) ha ha
Can I ever say how grateful I am for Jeff in these posts?
Probably not.
I was the one who was being difficult to live with when he's been working that hard every semester since we've been married. He worked full-time and took fifteen credits this last semester. He's ending up with mostly A's too. I think he might get one B (or B+ we don't know yet). I don't know how he does it. It makes me cry when I think about it cause it makes me feel so undeserving of his patience and kindness towards me.
He's so great to me! :)
Well, the next couple of months should be interesting to see what happens. The next year will be interesting too! A lot is going to happen! Jeff will keep getting closer to being done with school, hopefully I'll get a good teaching job, Jeff might cave and get me a parakeet....ya never know what's going to happen! Ha ha.
There are several hobbies I've been wanting to start now that I'm graduated too. If I actually do start them up I may tell you about them. A couple of them I'm a little hesitant to talk about till I try them out first. I'm definitely going to play my harp more now. I even want to start teaching lessons, but that might have to wait till I can play for six or so months and get good again. :) We shall see........
So much change, but it's a good kind of change!
"We see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. God sees us in terms of forever." <3 br="">
-Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Look into the storm and feel the raaaain!
:)
Like most of my posts, the title really means nothing. (it's a song lyric)
It's been a month. Has it? I can't remember the last time I posted.....so it must at least be a month.
Life. L'claim.
Oy my life!
I say this to my mom pretty much every time I talk to her on the phone (a couple times a day on average).
Sometimes life isn't picture perfect, it's still pretty great, but not like you planned it to be? It's usually in the stretches of time that we don't plan that we learn the most though. I think because of that I'll be learning a lot in the next while.
Do you wish I was more specific?
Ya. Me too.
I'm graduating in a month. Whoa. It's going to be really good! At the same time it's going to be really bad........because then I have to do something with myself. Not being in school for the first time in 19 years will be strange. I kind of think I'm going to feel like I won't have anywhere to belong. Right now that's how I feel!
I've been looking ENDlessly for a good job.
Not some lame job that's going to burn me out in a matter of weeks (cause I've already found that).
Speaking of! I started my internship. I don't think I've talked about that on here yet. It's been a ride for sure. Definitely interesting. I've landed myself in the two year old classroom, with extended hours cause they actually wanted to hire me. Getting paid is better than not, right??
The toddlers are kind of hilarious. They don't talk very well yet, but they talk enough to get themselves into trouble. They like to hit and bite. They like to puke and almost make me puke with some things that come out of their diapers. They like trying to go potty, but mostly to get a treat afterwards (hate that.....).
Positive reinforcement. Ugh. *rant on early childhood development ensues*
Daycare is so interesting. If I was going to get a doctorate (or even a masters) I would definitely do research on daycare. Most definitely. It fascinates me, honestly, which in the end is good because it means this internship, turned into a job, isn't totally off the mark.
Although I do have a "job" I'm not going to keep it past graduation. Getting paid what I would get paid at McDonald's makes me sad.....especially after getting a bachelor's degree. I'm not trying to be high and mighty, because honestly my degree can't really get me the big bucks either, but....sigh. I've worked hard and I want something to show for it.....is that too much to ask!?
Sometimes I think it is, ha ha.
I've applied for lots of jobs recently, but nothing is really seeming to be right. Nothing is fitting. I've applied with Head Start in two different counties which would be cool. I'm a fan of Head Start, especially in Davis School District because you actually get a classroom in an elementary school. That would be fun.
My supervising teacher for my student teaching thinks I should work at Weber's Children's School. Aka, have the same job that she does. Ha ha. She told me I needed to apply this weekend and she would be upset if I hadn't come Monday. If it actually worked out it would be an amazingly cool job and a great experience. Who knows if it ever would work out though?
In other news, Jeff and I will be married two years on Tuesday! Craziness!
He has been such a great support to me as I've finished school. Through all of my frustrations and tears and hard times he's been the best. He is way more mature than me and way more put together. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be graduating if it wasn't for him. I love him for that.
When we first got married he told me that if I wanted to finish school I could, but if I didn't want to I didn't need to. He's always said that no matter what I do he'll love me and be proud of me. I think because of how selfless he is it pushed me to graduate. I've always wanted to graduate....but in the back of my mind I always thought it was possible that it wouldn't happen.
I'm grateful that I married the man that I did and that he makes me the best me I can be. He accepts me on days when I'm not my best me (which has been WAY too much lately with how stressed I have been). I think that's the best thing anyone could ever ask for is to have a companion that totally accepts who you are and loves you more and more all the time.
Jeff and I are going to California with my family in July to see Josh Groban! We are also going to go to Six Flags and some other wonderment too. :) With Josh's new album coming out it's been a bright spot in my otherwise hectic schedule since January. Josh always comes out with songs that seem to be PERFECT for my life at the time that he releases them. So great! His single that came out is my favorite (along with the rest of the album). I'll leave the music video here because if you're reading this......and have been feeling any of the things that I've talked about in this post you will definitely love it too.
Brave
You should also watch this because it makes me smile. A LOT! I love Josh!
Like most of my posts, the title really means nothing. (it's a song lyric)
It's been a month. Has it? I can't remember the last time I posted.....so it must at least be a month.
Life. L'claim.
Oy my life!
I say this to my mom pretty much every time I talk to her on the phone (a couple times a day on average).
Sometimes life isn't picture perfect, it's still pretty great, but not like you planned it to be? It's usually in the stretches of time that we don't plan that we learn the most though. I think because of that I'll be learning a lot in the next while.
Do you wish I was more specific?
Ya. Me too.
I'm graduating in a month. Whoa. It's going to be really good! At the same time it's going to be really bad........because then I have to do something with myself. Not being in school for the first time in 19 years will be strange. I kind of think I'm going to feel like I won't have anywhere to belong. Right now that's how I feel!
I've been looking ENDlessly for a good job.
Not some lame job that's going to burn me out in a matter of weeks (cause I've already found that).
Speaking of! I started my internship. I don't think I've talked about that on here yet. It's been a ride for sure. Definitely interesting. I've landed myself in the two year old classroom, with extended hours cause they actually wanted to hire me. Getting paid is better than not, right??
The toddlers are kind of hilarious. They don't talk very well yet, but they talk enough to get themselves into trouble. They like to hit and bite. They like to puke and almost make me puke with some things that come out of their diapers. They like trying to go potty, but mostly to get a treat afterwards (hate that.....).
Positive reinforcement. Ugh. *rant on early childhood development ensues*
Daycare is so interesting. If I was going to get a doctorate (or even a masters) I would definitely do research on daycare. Most definitely. It fascinates me, honestly, which in the end is good because it means this internship, turned into a job, isn't totally off the mark.
Although I do have a "job" I'm not going to keep it past graduation. Getting paid what I would get paid at McDonald's makes me sad.....especially after getting a bachelor's degree. I'm not trying to be high and mighty, because honestly my degree can't really get me the big bucks either, but....sigh. I've worked hard and I want something to show for it.....is that too much to ask!?
Sometimes I think it is, ha ha.
I've applied for lots of jobs recently, but nothing is really seeming to be right. Nothing is fitting. I've applied with Head Start in two different counties which would be cool. I'm a fan of Head Start, especially in Davis School District because you actually get a classroom in an elementary school. That would be fun.
My supervising teacher for my student teaching thinks I should work at Weber's Children's School. Aka, have the same job that she does. Ha ha. She told me I needed to apply this weekend and she would be upset if I hadn't come Monday. If it actually worked out it would be an amazingly cool job and a great experience. Who knows if it ever would work out though?
In other news, Jeff and I will be married two years on Tuesday! Craziness!
He has been such a great support to me as I've finished school. Through all of my frustrations and tears and hard times he's been the best. He is way more mature than me and way more put together. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be graduating if it wasn't for him. I love him for that.
When we first got married he told me that if I wanted to finish school I could, but if I didn't want to I didn't need to. He's always said that no matter what I do he'll love me and be proud of me. I think because of how selfless he is it pushed me to graduate. I've always wanted to graduate....but in the back of my mind I always thought it was possible that it wouldn't happen.
I'm grateful that I married the man that I did and that he makes me the best me I can be. He accepts me on days when I'm not my best me (which has been WAY too much lately with how stressed I have been). I think that's the best thing anyone could ever ask for is to have a companion that totally accepts who you are and loves you more and more all the time.
Jeff and I are going to California with my family in July to see Josh Groban! We are also going to go to Six Flags and some other wonderment too. :) With Josh's new album coming out it's been a bright spot in my otherwise hectic schedule since January. Josh always comes out with songs that seem to be PERFECT for my life at the time that he releases them. So great! His single that came out is my favorite (along with the rest of the album). I'll leave the music video here because if you're reading this......and have been feeling any of the things that I've talked about in this post you will definitely love it too.
Brave
You should also watch this because it makes me smile. A LOT! I love Josh!
Monday, February 18, 2013
Movin' through the adventures of life.....
I'm done with my job at the YMCA.
I start a new phase of my life tomorrow which will be totally different.
It's weird.
I learned a lot while working at the Y. I learned lots of good things. I learned lots of bad things. I learned lots of things that changed how I view the world.
I have a completely different view about: low income families, single parent families, Latino American families, African American families, Asian American families..............than I did before I started working there.
All in all I'm SO grateful I had the experience I had to work there. It really did humble me in ways I didn't think a situation like that would.
I love learning through children. They really are the best. The kids at my job really made my last week hard too by constantly hugging me, telling me they love me, telling me that I'm their favorite, telling me they wish I was their mom........
The majority of the kids I worked with came from hard situations. One boy in particular broke my heart this last week. He's a fourth grade boy who has a really weird/hard family and doesn't have a lot of love in his life. He was getting suspended from school a lot and was just kind of in a dark place.
He was one of our least favorite kids to work with cause he seemed to always cause problems.
Well, I was in charge of his homework group and making sure he got his homework done every week. On Tuesday I was helping him add fractions and it was being really hard for him. I tried making it fun and lighthearted and he seemed to be more at ease by how I was handling the situation. After we worked longer than any of the other kids, I told him I would go get him some Valentine's candy. He told me that he wanted a green conversation heart that said "Be Mine" on it. He said he wanted to give it to his Valentine, ha ha ha!
So I told him I would find one for him. (And I'm not an empty promise kind of teacher!)
I went and got the bag of candy and looked through it while my coworker talked to the kids during our daily meeting. The boy who I was finding the candy for watched me for a good seven minutes during the meeting, all the while I was looking for his heart.
When I finally found a green one with "Be Mine" on it I went over and gave it to him.
I think I'll always remember the look that was on his face.
He had this raw look that didn't have a ton of feeling behind it, but to me it almost meant: "I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that you cared enough to look for that heart for me." It made me realize that he probably doesn't have adults in his life that take time out of their lives to do things like that for him.
In the end, that heart really didn't need to be found. In fact, if I wouldn't have found it he probably would have gotten over it pretty quickly.
What he did because I DID find that piece of candy was the heartbreaking part.
We have clubs everyday and during clubs he made me a rain stick. Ha. He was in a recycled art club so he used some paper towel tubes, a water bottle, some beans, and a whole bunch of duct tape to make me a rain stick. And again when he gave it to me he had that raw emotionless look on his face almost saying: "please, accept it.".
Working with kids... you get tons and TONS of pictures, things made for you, etc. but this time it felt SO different. I knew he was proud of himself for making it for me. Especially after I enthusiastically accepted it he seemed very pleased with himself.
The hardest part of leaving that job was not knowing what the future holds for all of those children. I learned to love all of them. It's different working with low income children.
When I've worked at other elementary schools I've always left the kids knowing that they at least are going to be given some kind of chances in life. Like when I worked in Layton I knew that the large majority of the kids that I taught would go to college without a second thought, would be able to buy a house someday, or would be able to get a decent job in the future.
It's hard working within the cycle of poverty because it's harder for those children to break out of it. Realizing that you're leaving all of that behind is the hardest part for me.
Well, tomorrow I start my internship. I hope it works out! I'm kind of nervous about it.
I only have about two more months till graduation though! Spring break is only in two weeks and then once that is over I think the rest of the semester will fly by. I've really loved my student teaching so far! It's been a really big learning experience, but it's a very forgiving environment which is perfect for learning.
In other news, it's my birthday on Thursday! Jeff's been asking me what I want for my birthday and the only answer I have is......"preschool stuff!"
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm lame.
His answer to that is always: "k, but you're not going to need any of that for a long time."
(I probably really don't need anything like that till I have my own at home preschool, and that's not going to be for a couple more eons.)
Anywho, I'm going to be twenty-three. Which is old. So. Old! :)
Last week was Valentine's Day too. My poor husband has to get me stuff for Valentine's and then exactly a week later he has to do stuff for my birthday. Poor dude.
I love him a lot and I get way too spoiled by him!
I was telling Jeff the story of the boy making me the rain stick and I was telling him that I never want our children to feel the way that boy did in that moment. I want to let our kids know that they are loved SO much every day. I want them to know that I love them enough that I will spend seven pointless minutes to find them a little piece of candy. I want my kids to know that I will stop everything else that's happening to spend a minute with them. And just them.
It might seem like I'm being a little dramatic about this situation........but I think it's important to protect childhood and foster proper child development.
You'd think I was a child development major or something, huh?
Ha.
I love kids!
I'm sure I'll love the new ones I'm going to meet at my internship tomorrow too.
Onto my new adventure!
I start a new phase of my life tomorrow which will be totally different.
It's weird.
I learned a lot while working at the Y. I learned lots of good things. I learned lots of bad things. I learned lots of things that changed how I view the world.
I have a completely different view about: low income families, single parent families, Latino American families, African American families, Asian American families..............than I did before I started working there.
All in all I'm SO grateful I had the experience I had to work there. It really did humble me in ways I didn't think a situation like that would.
I love learning through children. They really are the best. The kids at my job really made my last week hard too by constantly hugging me, telling me they love me, telling me that I'm their favorite, telling me they wish I was their mom........
The majority of the kids I worked with came from hard situations. One boy in particular broke my heart this last week. He's a fourth grade boy who has a really weird/hard family and doesn't have a lot of love in his life. He was getting suspended from school a lot and was just kind of in a dark place.
He was one of our least favorite kids to work with cause he seemed to always cause problems.
Well, I was in charge of his homework group and making sure he got his homework done every week. On Tuesday I was helping him add fractions and it was being really hard for him. I tried making it fun and lighthearted and he seemed to be more at ease by how I was handling the situation. After we worked longer than any of the other kids, I told him I would go get him some Valentine's candy. He told me that he wanted a green conversation heart that said "Be Mine" on it. He said he wanted to give it to his Valentine, ha ha ha!
So I told him I would find one for him. (And I'm not an empty promise kind of teacher!)
I went and got the bag of candy and looked through it while my coworker talked to the kids during our daily meeting. The boy who I was finding the candy for watched me for a good seven minutes during the meeting, all the while I was looking for his heart.
When I finally found a green one with "Be Mine" on it I went over and gave it to him.
I think I'll always remember the look that was on his face.
He had this raw look that didn't have a ton of feeling behind it, but to me it almost meant: "I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that you cared enough to look for that heart for me." It made me realize that he probably doesn't have adults in his life that take time out of their lives to do things like that for him.
In the end, that heart really didn't need to be found. In fact, if I wouldn't have found it he probably would have gotten over it pretty quickly.
What he did because I DID find that piece of candy was the heartbreaking part.
We have clubs everyday and during clubs he made me a rain stick. Ha. He was in a recycled art club so he used some paper towel tubes, a water bottle, some beans, and a whole bunch of duct tape to make me a rain stick. And again when he gave it to me he had that raw emotionless look on his face almost saying: "please, accept it.".
Working with kids... you get tons and TONS of pictures, things made for you, etc. but this time it felt SO different. I knew he was proud of himself for making it for me. Especially after I enthusiastically accepted it he seemed very pleased with himself.
The hardest part of leaving that job was not knowing what the future holds for all of those children. I learned to love all of them. It's different working with low income children.
When I've worked at other elementary schools I've always left the kids knowing that they at least are going to be given some kind of chances in life. Like when I worked in Layton I knew that the large majority of the kids that I taught would go to college without a second thought, would be able to buy a house someday, or would be able to get a decent job in the future.
It's hard working within the cycle of poverty because it's harder for those children to break out of it. Realizing that you're leaving all of that behind is the hardest part for me.
Well, tomorrow I start my internship. I hope it works out! I'm kind of nervous about it.
I only have about two more months till graduation though! Spring break is only in two weeks and then once that is over I think the rest of the semester will fly by. I've really loved my student teaching so far! It's been a really big learning experience, but it's a very forgiving environment which is perfect for learning.
In other news, it's my birthday on Thursday! Jeff's been asking me what I want for my birthday and the only answer I have is......"preschool stuff!"
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm lame.
His answer to that is always: "k, but you're not going to need any of that for a long time."
(I probably really don't need anything like that till I have my own at home preschool, and that's not going to be for a couple more eons.)
Anywho, I'm going to be twenty-three. Which is old. So. Old! :)
Last week was Valentine's Day too. My poor husband has to get me stuff for Valentine's and then exactly a week later he has to do stuff for my birthday. Poor dude.
I love him a lot and I get way too spoiled by him!
I was telling Jeff the story of the boy making me the rain stick and I was telling him that I never want our children to feel the way that boy did in that moment. I want to let our kids know that they are loved SO much every day. I want them to know that I love them enough that I will spend seven pointless minutes to find them a little piece of candy. I want my kids to know that I will stop everything else that's happening to spend a minute with them. And just them.
It might seem like I'm being a little dramatic about this situation........but I think it's important to protect childhood and foster proper child development.
You'd think I was a child development major or something, huh?
Ha.
I love kids!
I'm sure I'll love the new ones I'm going to meet at my internship tomorrow too.
Onto my new adventure!
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Saturday Night = Facebook Stalking and Homework
Conversation I just had with my husband:
Jeff *looking at the computer screen*: "Who is that?"
Me *on facebook*: "Oh....well, it's my old boyfriend's best friend's sister."
Jeff: "Your what???"
Me: "My old boyfriend's best friend's sister."
Jeff: "How did you get there?? That must mean you were looking at your old boyfriend!!"
Me: "Well, originally....yes. Then I found another person I used to know....then another person from there....and I just keep going..."
Jeff: "k, but wait, you were Facebook stalking your old boyfriend.....I don't Facebook stalk MY ex-girlfriend!"
Me: "No, YOU don't. But I do!"
Facebook stalking.
I don't keep up on people from my old life ("old life"....???) very much, but when I do look them up it's kind of funny to see what is happening in their lives. Most of my ex-boyfriends are married now. One of them has a baby! Half of them I'm actually friends with on Facebook though so it's not too creepy that I know these things, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I generally don't live in the past. Actually, I next to never think about the past. I'm very much a future kind of girl. I'm always thinking about things a year in advance. It's kind of a problem. But ya know, whatever, I can't change my brain. At least not very easily.
Anyways, onto other more important, logical things!
Student teaching has been going great! It's definitely changing everything I've ever thought about teaching. Having worked with kids for five years I THOUGHT I knew a lot about teaching. I was very wrong! Student teaching is the refiner's fire, I've decided. I love working with the supervising teacher I was assigned to. She teaches me new things everyday! I love the way she teaches.
Well, I need to get off of Facebook and do some homework.
Saturday night.........doing homework. My life is so exciting!
Jeff was gone all day studying and taking two tests. (which he totally aced, nbd) Have I ever mentioned how great he is? Oh yeah................like every time I post, huh?
Well, he really is.
We always have people telling us that we are crazy that we work and go to school (especially Jeff for working full-time). He's awesome though and gets A's and B's all the while. I'm very grateful for him.
I guess I will leave you with a cute quote I found about children. Kids are the best! I love this apostle too.... :)
"We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God."
- Jeffrey R. Holland
Jeff *looking at the computer screen*: "Who is that?"
Me *on facebook*: "Oh....well, it's my old boyfriend's best friend's sister."
Jeff: "Your what???"
Me: "My old boyfriend's best friend's sister."
Jeff: "How did you get there?? That must mean you were looking at your old boyfriend!!"
Me: "Well, originally....yes. Then I found another person I used to know....then another person from there....and I just keep going..."
Jeff: "k, but wait, you were Facebook stalking your old boyfriend.....I don't Facebook stalk MY ex-girlfriend!"
Me: "No, YOU don't. But I do!"
Facebook stalking.
I don't keep up on people from my old life ("old life"....???) very much, but when I do look them up it's kind of funny to see what is happening in their lives. Most of my ex-boyfriends are married now. One of them has a baby! Half of them I'm actually friends with on Facebook though so it's not too creepy that I know these things, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I generally don't live in the past. Actually, I next to never think about the past. I'm very much a future kind of girl. I'm always thinking about things a year in advance. It's kind of a problem. But ya know, whatever, I can't change my brain. At least not very easily.
Anyways, onto other more important, logical things!
Student teaching has been going great! It's definitely changing everything I've ever thought about teaching. Having worked with kids for five years I THOUGHT I knew a lot about teaching. I was very wrong! Student teaching is the refiner's fire, I've decided. I love working with the supervising teacher I was assigned to. She teaches me new things everyday! I love the way she teaches.
Well, I need to get off of Facebook and do some homework.
Saturday night.........doing homework. My life is so exciting!
Jeff was gone all day studying and taking two tests. (which he totally aced, nbd) Have I ever mentioned how great he is? Oh yeah................like every time I post, huh?
Well, he really is.
We always have people telling us that we are crazy that we work and go to school (especially Jeff for working full-time). He's awesome though and gets A's and B's all the while. I'm very grateful for him.
I guess I will leave you with a cute quote I found about children. Kids are the best! I love this apostle too.... :)
"We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don't say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child's view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child's faith in us and their faith in God."
- Jeffrey R. Holland
Monday, January 21, 2013
Theory Brought to Life
I'm trying to get a bunch of things done for my student teaching today since we have the day off and in the process I found this awesome quote! I love finding quotes that summarize parts of why I want to be a teacher. This quote says directly what I want for my students and explains what I feel like my role as a teacher is. (and I just love Gardner's theories too)
"I want my children to understand the world, but not just because the world is fascinating and the human mind is curious. I want them to understand it so that they will be positioned to make it a better place. Knowledge is not the same as morality, but we need to understand if we are to avoid past mistakes and move in productive directions. An important part of that understanding is knowing who we are and what we can do... Ultimately, we must synthesize our understandings for ourselves. The performance of understanding that try matters are the ones we carry out as human beings in an imperfect world which we can affect for good or for ill." -Howard Gardner
(this may or may not be the shortest blog post I've ever done, but I just needed to get this on here so I'd have it for future reference :) )
"I want my children to understand the world, but not just because the world is fascinating and the human mind is curious. I want them to understand it so that they will be positioned to make it a better place. Knowledge is not the same as morality, but we need to understand if we are to avoid past mistakes and move in productive directions. An important part of that understanding is knowing who we are and what we can do... Ultimately, we must synthesize our understandings for ourselves. The performance of understanding that try matters are the ones we carry out as human beings in an imperfect world which we can affect for good or for ill." -Howard Gardner
(this may or may not be the shortest blog post I've ever done, but I just needed to get this on here so I'd have it for future reference :) )
Friday, January 11, 2013
Snow snow snooooow!
It's a snow day! The only other snow day I remember in my history as a Utahan is once when I was in 1st or 2nd grade it snowed a lot and we got to stay home from school.
Ogden and Davis County got hit pretty hard with lots of snow yesterday and in the night. I was so stressed out this morning too, because I didn't know if I still needed to go to my student teaching or not. I guess I'm just paranoid. I got a voicemail and two emails saying the ENTIRE campus was closed...........but I still thought that I maybe needed to go.
I have issues. With logic. And. Stuff.
Whatever.
It's been great though being home today. Once I finally figured out that logically I didn't need to go this morning the first thought that came to my mind was......."yay, I can finally do the dishes!!"
Getting used to this new semester has left me zero time to clean. Getting the dishes done was probably the best part of my day. Theeeeeeeeeeeeen....the worst part of my day happened. After I was done with the dishes I magically clogged the garbage disposal. It probably wasn't magic, but it seemed that way to me.
I tried unclogging the disposal with a plunger and finally I gave up. I then texted Jeff and told him what had happened and this is the text I received back: "Don't do anything til I get home."
Ha ha ha ha! I love it. So now my house kind of smells funky, but I've been instructed to wait (when I already tried fixing it....and failed.......make it fine with me!)
Anyways, I got the apartment all shiny and clean (other than the kitchen sink) so I thought I would hurry and blog before I have to brave the storm to get to work.
This week has been so much fun! I started my student teaching on Monday. The kids didn't come till Tuesday though. They are all so cute! I love being around children that age because everything is about discovery.
I know I blog about this..........a lot, but it hit me again this week......it's so crazy to me how much socio-economic status factors into life. There is such a drastic difference between the children at my student teaching and the kids at my work. Big difference. And it's all because of their social class/status/way of life their parents have chosen.
There are a couple of kids in my student teaching class that give the teachers a run for their money sometimes (SOMETIMES), but overall they are all really sweet children. And besides that, it's developmentally appropriate to test emotions at that age anyways. That's just what kids who are three to five do. They are egocentric and don't really get a lot of the whole regulating emotions thing.
It kind of made me laugh though because there is one child in my student teaching class who is a little different and my head teacher said to me the other day: "he has some real issues". I laughed at that because the way he acts is totally how many of my kids at work act. Hyper, crazy, needs constant watching, tests limits......you name it, they do it.
We got a new co-worker about a week ago. I don't think he's ever worked with kids before and it's kind of funny to watch him. He always seems overwhelmed by what the children are doing, because like I said, many of them are crazy!
The kids we work with come from rough situations. I can't tell you how many times we've had kids tell us: "no, my parents really can't pay right now! They are broke. They don't have any money to fix our car." Or any other myriad of excuses. It's forty dollars a month for their child to come to the program. For 2 1/2 hours a day (4 1/2 on Fridays) that's less than 50 cents an hour.
It just breaks my heart how families get into such bad situations like that. I guess it all comes down to agency though. Lots of people are born into poverty.......but a lot of people choose it for themselves because they don't want to work hard for a better life.
Many of the parents of our children do work very hard though. That's what makes it even sadder.
It makes me grateful to have the gospel. Having the gospel in my life has taught me to be a hardworker. I know that sounds kind of odd, but it's true! Knowing what God wants for my life has helped me see that family is essential to His plan. Since I know that, I've always learned that having a healthy family is important. In order to have a healthy family I need to have a healthy relationship with my husband. In order for that to happen we need to love each other. And because we love each other we want to work hard and provide a healthy future for our children. And because of that we are going to college to provide for them.
I'm very fortunate that I've been able to go to school and that I'm graduating soon. In the education building there are tons or women (I dare say the majority of them) that are mothers going to school. I look up to them a lot because I would never be able to do that. I'm so grateful I'll be graduated by the time I have my first baby.
I've also been very fortunate that I've worked so many jobs involving children. It makes me happy because I feel like I really know that it's something I love to do. I'm glad that I can feel the satisfaction I feel when I work with kids and teach them.
I'm excited for this semester because I'll get to grow in new ways as a teacher. I'm looking forward to graduating, but I think the journey till then is going to be awesome. :)
Ogden and Davis County got hit pretty hard with lots of snow yesterday and in the night. I was so stressed out this morning too, because I didn't know if I still needed to go to my student teaching or not. I guess I'm just paranoid. I got a voicemail and two emails saying the ENTIRE campus was closed...........but I still thought that I maybe needed to go.
I have issues. With logic. And. Stuff.
Whatever.
It's been great though being home today. Once I finally figured out that logically I didn't need to go this morning the first thought that came to my mind was......."yay, I can finally do the dishes!!"
Getting used to this new semester has left me zero time to clean. Getting the dishes done was probably the best part of my day. Theeeeeeeeeeeeen....the worst part of my day happened. After I was done with the dishes I magically clogged the garbage disposal. It probably wasn't magic, but it seemed that way to me.
I tried unclogging the disposal with a plunger and finally I gave up. I then texted Jeff and told him what had happened and this is the text I received back: "Don't do anything til I get home."
Ha ha ha ha! I love it. So now my house kind of smells funky, but I've been instructed to wait (when I already tried fixing it....and failed.......make it fine with me!)
Anyways, I got the apartment all shiny and clean (other than the kitchen sink) so I thought I would hurry and blog before I have to brave the storm to get to work.
This week has been so much fun! I started my student teaching on Monday. The kids didn't come till Tuesday though. They are all so cute! I love being around children that age because everything is about discovery.
I know I blog about this..........a lot, but it hit me again this week......it's so crazy to me how much socio-economic status factors into life. There is such a drastic difference between the children at my student teaching and the kids at my work. Big difference. And it's all because of their social class/status/way of life their parents have chosen.
There are a couple of kids in my student teaching class that give the teachers a run for their money sometimes (SOMETIMES), but overall they are all really sweet children. And besides that, it's developmentally appropriate to test emotions at that age anyways. That's just what kids who are three to five do. They are egocentric and don't really get a lot of the whole regulating emotions thing.
It kind of made me laugh though because there is one child in my student teaching class who is a little different and my head teacher said to me the other day: "he has some real issues". I laughed at that because the way he acts is totally how many of my kids at work act. Hyper, crazy, needs constant watching, tests limits......you name it, they do it.
We got a new co-worker about a week ago. I don't think he's ever worked with kids before and it's kind of funny to watch him. He always seems overwhelmed by what the children are doing, because like I said, many of them are crazy!
The kids we work with come from rough situations. I can't tell you how many times we've had kids tell us: "no, my parents really can't pay right now! They are broke. They don't have any money to fix our car." Or any other myriad of excuses. It's forty dollars a month for their child to come to the program. For 2 1/2 hours a day (4 1/2 on Fridays) that's less than 50 cents an hour.
It just breaks my heart how families get into such bad situations like that. I guess it all comes down to agency though. Lots of people are born into poverty.......but a lot of people choose it for themselves because they don't want to work hard for a better life.
Many of the parents of our children do work very hard though. That's what makes it even sadder.
It makes me grateful to have the gospel. Having the gospel in my life has taught me to be a hardworker. I know that sounds kind of odd, but it's true! Knowing what God wants for my life has helped me see that family is essential to His plan. Since I know that, I've always learned that having a healthy family is important. In order to have a healthy family I need to have a healthy relationship with my husband. In order for that to happen we need to love each other. And because we love each other we want to work hard and provide a healthy future for our children. And because of that we are going to college to provide for them.
I'm very fortunate that I've been able to go to school and that I'm graduating soon. In the education building there are tons or women (I dare say the majority of them) that are mothers going to school. I look up to them a lot because I would never be able to do that. I'm so grateful I'll be graduated by the time I have my first baby.
I've also been very fortunate that I've worked so many jobs involving children. It makes me happy because I feel like I really know that it's something I love to do. I'm glad that I can feel the satisfaction I feel when I work with kids and teach them.
I'm excited for this semester because I'll get to grow in new ways as a teacher. I'm looking forward to graduating, but I think the journey till then is going to be awesome. :)
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