A whole bunch of rambling

I wrote a pretty bitter post the other day, but didn't post it obviously! (Ha ha)

To make a long story short, my ex-boyfriend and I are......in a pickle right now. He has something that I need and it's becoming a bigger deal than it really ever needed to be getting it back. But what can ya do? Fight about it, I guess? Ha. I haven't been fighting with him directly, he and his sister have been which has created all this tension. So I wrote about it, but decided not to post it, because well.....

To be honest....

I realized for about the 20th time that it doesn't help anything to stay mad. I was REALLY mad the other day, but now I'm ok and realize again that time just heals bad feelings. I still need to get this thing back from him, but while I'm waiting it doesn't help being mad about it, ya know?

Yesterday I went to the temple with my ex-boyfriend's sister....because...she was actually my friend long before I dated her brother! Ha ha. Mikayla and I became friends our junior year in high school, I think, and we became best friends through going to the temple.

Seriously! We would go a couple of times a month (mostly on late starts) and that's really how we became such great friends. I just love her. There has been weird tension because of this thing with her brother, but while we were on our temple outing yesterday it felt exactly like it's always felt in the past 4 years whenever we've gone to the temple.

She loves the temple like I do and I love having friends like that. It's such a blessing to have righteous friends and I truly do think that the temple is the thing that has made our friendship so strong.

That's just another reason the temple has blessed me so much! Good friends.

Today during sacrament meeting this cute girl gave a talk about being spiritually and temporally reliant. She said that in order to have one you need to have the other which really hit me, for some reason! It's very true. If I'm tired then I don't read my scriptures. If I'm tired then I don't wake up and I procrastinate going to the temple. If I don't eat right then I'm cranky and not really willing to sit and listen to the spirit. Ha ha, I know that sounds silly, but it's true.

Lately I've been going to bed really late and it's usually because I'm out so late with my friends. We are always doing awesome stuff, but it's starting to catch up to me.

My friends are so cute though! Kaylee, Kayla, and I wrote anonymous little cards of happiness to put on peoples cars, ha ha! So really my friends are amazing and we are always doing good things, but.....I'm just so tired! BAH!

It probably doesn't help that I have to work eight hours outside everyday. Granted, I'm not working with heavy equipment ALL day, but it's starting to get really hot and what not. It makes me quite exhausted on some days.

Because of all of this....I think I'm going to go to bed much earlier this week. I wish I didn't have to, but well, it seems to be effecting me so I think I must! :)

I need to be honest with you blog. About boys. This next section is me being honest. Ha ha ha ha. Fragments.

So, I've told you about the one boy that's on the committee with me correct? He's home now! Bah.....what to do. I told some of our friends on Wednesday that I like him and they were like "I knew it!" which kind of made me laugh. Ha ha ha! I don't know what to think. I doth not knoweth what to thinketh, dear blog.

I guess I'll just wait!

Other than him, I have a missionary friend who gets home in 20 days! It's crazy cause I've been writing him and what not and we never really dated or anything so I'm obviously not "waiting" for him, but he and I have always been good friends.

I'm not quite sure what will happen when he gets home because I honestly don't think he'll want to really date ANYONE when he just barely gets home, and I don't really know what I'll think of him when he gets home, etc. etc.

I just know that he's a wonderful friend which I want in whomever I end up dating in the future.

It's kind of making me not want to pursue anything specifically because I hate losing friendships with awesome guys and it's pretty obvious that if I date a guy I'm either going to marry him or it's going to end in a break up which is never fun. That's the MAIN reason I'm kind of just waiting and seeing what happens.

Ha ha, is that selfish? Just waiting? I don't know. I figure it's ok to just wait at this stage in life. If I was 30 and lonely and no guys were pursuing me, then I should probably do something about it, but.............

That's not the case. :)

As a final note, I've been thinking a lot about Christ lately.

My Savior helps me so much every single day. I'm so lucky to have the truth of His Gospel in my life! It truly is the greatest thing. I'm so blessed to feel my Savior's love everyday.

I know because of my faith in Christ that all of the promises that have been made to me will be fulfilled. Meaning my baptismal covenants and my patriarchal blessing...I know those things will be fulfilled if I have faith in Christ. And honestly....I don't know how people live without faith in God and faith Jesus. My life is SO much better when I'm close to the spirit and when I'm relying on them.

There's just so much hope because of the Atonement and because of the Restoration. I'm so grateful to have a Savior and to know that He lives. He's truly the greatest friend that I could ever ask for and I'm so lucky that He's made it possible for me to be with my family forever. Not only my family NOW, but my future family.

Love love love <3