I've been wanting to blog lately, but I haven't had anything specific to say. I've had a lot on my mind, but nothing specific. It seems like I always have a lot on my mind. I'm kind of just one of those people, I suppose.
I've been thinking about how the people around me handle life and how it's different than I how I handle things. I've been musing about how it seems to be the trend to come up with really cool ways to announce that you're pregnant (I'm NOT pregnant) and it's like......geez, can't you just say it and let people get excited for you? All these creative people are adding on so much pressure! I guess that's just the season of my life though. I'm totally in the season where everyone my age or 2 years either way from my age is pregnant.
Life is full of seasons. I love seasons....like the literal, meteorological seasons. I feel like the coldness always comes when I most need to cuddle up and hibernate. I also feel like the sunshine and warmth of summer comes when I want to run and work hard.
I also love the seasons of life meaning things like...dating, being engaged, being newly weds, having a baby, having a bunch of babies, raising babies, being old.......(cause we all know that once you've raised babies you're old? Ha.)
It's really interesting watching people switch from season to season and how they.....cope.
It's funny to me the people who are "stuck" in a season and so badly wish to be out of it. They wish so much to be in the next, or next three seasons that they miss the one they are in completely.
I always think of that one country song that goes......you're gonna miss this, you're gonna want this back, you're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast! These are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this.
I think of that a lot as I see people in my life who are "stuck" in the dating season and so badly want to be out of it. It's like they dwell on the fact that they aren't married so much that they miss the whole point of dating. They miss the splendor and good times that can come from dating.
It's also interesting to me watching mothers who have kids in elementary/junior high and how they are so fed up with their situation. Their kids drive them nuts, they are always so busy, their kids each take two dance classes, two gymnastics classes, piano, and voice lessons and somehow their family never gets to eat dinner together!?!? Ha ha.
People make me laugh.
I'm sooooooo..........passive.
I have so many analytical thoughts/suggestions that I COULD say to people, but my inner core of shyness won't allow me to. In the end I just listen to them complain and wonder if I'll ever feel like they do during that season when I reach it.
Jeff and I don't have it bad at all, but we do have our weird little struggles. This semester has been harder than most because of all of our visits to the hospital. Little things like laptops breaking, hospital bills, tests, projects, internet not working........it's all such little stuff, but can be frustrating if we let it be. Those are times when I play that country song on repeat in my head, ha ha.
I'm so grateful for Jeff and how positive he is all the time. I'm grateful that he works full time AND goes to school full time. Everyone that we tell that he does that thinks he's crazy. He always gets such good grades though. I know he does what he does because he loves me and wants to take care of me. That's the best thing ever.
Going through this season of life has been great because I can see very easily how much God blesses us and how much He wants us to succeed.
I really don't want to be in any other season right now, I'm liking this one too much.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Waiting.......
I'm waiting for lots of things right now.
Primarily I'm waiting for my husband to finish his statistics test so we can go home! Ha ha!
We are on campus right now....I'm sitting in the Stewart Library hoping these people sitting next to me at other computers aren't reading this or judging me that I'm a wet dog that just ran in the rain.
You see, I had to run in the pouring rain because the gym is closed. That's why I came to campus with Jeff because I was going to go to the gym, he was going to take a test......gym is closed....ran in the rain.....here I am.
Sometimes waiting is weird. How over-prepared can a person be while waiting? I dunno, I've been trying to figure that out my whole life. But right now I'm feelin' pretty over-prepared for what I'm waiting for. (Don't worry Jeff, take your time on your test, I'm not talking about waiting for you)
Right now I'm waiting for Weber to post next semesters class schedule online so I can plan my life. I have to wait for that to happen so I can see if I can keep my job next year. I have to wait to tell my supervisor that I might have to abandon ship because I don't know if abandoning ship is in the plan yet.
Those things don't seem like too big of a deal to wait for, right?
And yeeeeeeet.....I keep thinking of this quote...
"Without patience we cannot please God." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Lately I've been thinking about how fast time goes. Jeff and I have been married for 10 months. It seems like 2. It also seems like 52. Time is weird like that.
So really these next couple months or waiting won't be bad at all.
I really really hope I can keep my job next year. Granted it's kind of weird sometimes (refer back to my post about my work a month or so ago), but I love the kids so much! People with autism are so fascinating. I'm reading a book right now about a girl with cerebral palsy and I love it! I love reading things that give such a positive light to people with disabilities.
I think way too often people discount "mentally retarded" people and don't really view them even as members of society. They are just the kids that lash out and make their parents look like they can't control them, right?
No.
I think unless you've worked with special needs people you don't really understand their potential.
The kids I work with are so freakishly cute! I love them! Even now when it's cold season and all of them are sick. It's good training to be a mom right? Getting coughed at in the face... spit, drooled, sneezed on. Ha ha.
I love my job because it breaks my heart.
Does that sound bad? Yep, yep it does.
It's sad watching your students, knowing when they go home they are going to a homeless shelter. That's the part that breaks my heart, but the happy part is knowing that while they are at school they smile the entire time. They look at you and say "han!" and reach for your hand. Or "ug" and want you to hug them. That's the part I love.
I think one of the main reasons I've always loved the lower grades in school is because you can see so much growth in their learning! When I very first started in education I was working with 1st graders and I loved watching them learn how to read! They were slow learners, but they took lots of baby steps.
Now that I'm around pre-schoolers and special ed. kids I see SO many baby steps and it's so much fun! Seeing a kid that figures out what green is cool to me.
Well, Jeff just called me so I gotta wrap this up............
Until next time, I guess. Happy Saturday! :)
Primarily I'm waiting for my husband to finish his statistics test so we can go home! Ha ha!
We are on campus right now....I'm sitting in the Stewart Library hoping these people sitting next to me at other computers aren't reading this or judging me that I'm a wet dog that just ran in the rain.
You see, I had to run in the pouring rain because the gym is closed. That's why I came to campus with Jeff because I was going to go to the gym, he was going to take a test......gym is closed....ran in the rain.....here I am.
Sometimes waiting is weird. How over-prepared can a person be while waiting? I dunno, I've been trying to figure that out my whole life. But right now I'm feelin' pretty over-prepared for what I'm waiting for. (Don't worry Jeff, take your time on your test, I'm not talking about waiting for you)
Right now I'm waiting for Weber to post next semesters class schedule online so I can plan my life. I have to wait for that to happen so I can see if I can keep my job next year. I have to wait to tell my supervisor that I might have to abandon ship because I don't know if abandoning ship is in the plan yet.
Those things don't seem like too big of a deal to wait for, right?
And yeeeeeeet.....I keep thinking of this quote...
"Without patience we cannot please God." -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Lately I've been thinking about how fast time goes. Jeff and I have been married for 10 months. It seems like 2. It also seems like 52. Time is weird like that.
So really these next couple months or waiting won't be bad at all.
I really really hope I can keep my job next year. Granted it's kind of weird sometimes (refer back to my post about my work a month or so ago), but I love the kids so much! People with autism are so fascinating. I'm reading a book right now about a girl with cerebral palsy and I love it! I love reading things that give such a positive light to people with disabilities.
I think way too often people discount "mentally retarded" people and don't really view them even as members of society. They are just the kids that lash out and make their parents look like they can't control them, right?
No.
I think unless you've worked with special needs people you don't really understand their potential.
The kids I work with are so freakishly cute! I love them! Even now when it's cold season and all of them are sick. It's good training to be a mom right? Getting coughed at in the face... spit, drooled, sneezed on. Ha ha.
I love my job because it breaks my heart.
Does that sound bad? Yep, yep it does.
It's sad watching your students, knowing when they go home they are going to a homeless shelter. That's the part that breaks my heart, but the happy part is knowing that while they are at school they smile the entire time. They look at you and say "han!" and reach for your hand. Or "ug" and want you to hug them. That's the part I love.
I think one of the main reasons I've always loved the lower grades in school is because you can see so much growth in their learning! When I very first started in education I was working with 1st graders and I loved watching them learn how to read! They were slow learners, but they took lots of baby steps.
Now that I'm around pre-schoolers and special ed. kids I see SO many baby steps and it's so much fun! Seeing a kid that figures out what green is cool to me.
Well, Jeff just called me so I gotta wrap this up............
Until next time, I guess. Happy Saturday! :)
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Major change!
Well, we made it through the first two weeks of the semester! They were probably the craziest first two weeks of a semester I've ever had actually.
The first week was crazy cause of the whole ER/hospital/almost death we encountered.....
And this week has been crazy because I decided to change my major!
.....I know, I'm in my fourth year of school and I'm just BARELY changing....I'm nuts, right??
No!
It's times like this in my life that I know that my Heavenly Father is pointing me in the right direction. There are few times in my life that I have felt the spirit so strong telling me where I should go...and I know this is one of those times.
Rewind.
When I graduated high school I had sooooo many plans for my life- graduate in 3 years (don't worry, I had it planned out, it WAS possible), go on a mission, go to Peru and teach ninos pequenos, uhhh....yep, I basically was going to be really cool.
Now four years later I have lived through so many different things than I thought I would and may I say, I'm really glad.
I'm really glad that I lived down in Cedar and was able to experience a massive year of growing up. I'm glad that God knew I needed that experience to become independent. I'm also glad that He so strongly told me to move home after that year too. That was another time that the spirit bluntly pointed me in the right direction.
If I wouldn't have moved home I wouldn't have met Jeff. :)
Now that I'm in my 5th semester at Weber I can truly say that this is the perfect time for me to change my major.
Ever since I was in 2nd grade I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I made my neighbors who were a year older and a year younger than my sister....and my sister sit in my living room and I would teach them the things that I was learning in school. Granted they were 3, 4, and 5 year olds, but whatever.
So all this time I've had Elementary Education in my sights and wasn't ever going to look back.
Untiiiiil....recently....
The past semester or so I've been taking these "CHF" classes at Weber that "certify" elementary teachers to teach kindergarten. Weber used to only have a degree where you could teach 1st-6th grade, but they realized in the past couple of years that they really need kindergarten teachers and only adding two classes to the degree would be their ticket to licensing teachers to teach K-6.
In the end.....these two "CHF" classes were the BAIN of my existence. They were holding me back from getting into the education program. These classes HAD to be completed prior to entering the program and they couldn't be taken the same semester.
It literally took me three semesters to get into the first class because of the waiting list. Seriously.....they were the BAIN of....k, yeah, you get it.
Well, something happened when I started taking these classes.......
These classes are all about early childhood, AKA teaching kids between the ages of 2 and 5. It's totally geared toward pre-school.
I started taking these classes and kept telling myself...."these classes are BAIN of my..." but as I sat through class I was SO mezmorized by what we were learning. I was so intrigued by this so called Early Childhood Education and thought....wow, this stuff is really cool!
I then started to evaluate myself. I started thinking of what I really wanted to do with my life.
What really tipped me overboard into the sea of Early Childhood Education though was one night I was talking to this lady in my ESL class who has taught pre-school out of her home for, I dunno, 20 some odd years. She was such a sweet lady and I could tell how much she loved what she did. She spoke so highly of pre-school and the benefits of everything that she does.
I went home that night almost in a freak out because I knew I needed to change my major......
I had a "Just face it, Amber" moment when I said to myself....maybe the fact that little kids love me so much is a gift from Heavenly Father that I need to recognize and use. (Refer to my post from a month ago about me and little kids)
I didn't want to tell Jeff....or my mom....or anybody cause I was just thinking, are they going to think I'm ridiculous for wanting to teach pre-school?
Jeff is seriously the best husband ever though. When I did tell him he just listened and told me I needed to do what I really wanted to do and he would support me with whatever that decision was.
Well, I weighed the pros and cons and the more I thought it out the Early Childhood option had a lot more pros than Elementary Ed.
In the end, I did change my major to Early Childhood Education and now here I am! I've been so excited this whole week! I don't know what it is about the subject of early childhood, but it makes me love learning even more than my elementary education classes did. Learning the process of young childrens development and how they learn is fascinating to me. It's way more technical than you'd think it would be.
So now I'm going to graduate next spring. I have one semester of classes in the fall, then my student teaching will be in the spring. :) That makes a grand total of 9 semesters of school for me. Usually people graduate in 8....so 9 isn't too bad, right?
I think, in the end, the biggest reason I decided to switch was because of how I can make a career out of this major as opposed to the Elementary Education major.
With this major I can do all kinds of things like daycare, head start, pre-school....I can be a pre-school coordinator (which is essentially a principal of a pre-school, ha ha).
My real plan is to own my own pre-school at my house. I think it's the best option for a stay at home mom. I probably won't start an actual pre-school till my youngest is in school, but I can start a daycare and slowly mold it into a pre-school while my youngest kids are babies.
If I was to be an elementary teacher I would be out of the house and honestly, I think I would be a lot more stressed and not able to be in my kid's lives as much while they are little.
So that's my general plan for now....I'm going to teach pre-school and someday....far far far far far down the road if I teach for like 15 years and start to want to be around older kids then I can go back to school and get my Elementary Ed. degree.
There is so much that changes in education, even just the technology alone, that if I didn't teach in a school for over 25-30 years I would have no idea what I was doing and would need to go back to school anyways. So much changes in curriculum, laws, policies....my math teacher recently told us that all teachers are going to have to re-learn math because they are switching from arithmetic to geometric based math in the schools....in the end, too much changes that I don't think it would be smart to get that degree now.
Plus my heart is in pre-school! Ha ha :)
Having my Early Childhood degree I will always be able to do pre-school. Learning colors, how to share, counting to ten, art, music, etc. probably won't be changing.
Who knows? Maybe 40 years from now I'll still be teaching pre-school in my basement and loving every minute of it.
One thing that I've really learned through the past couple of years is life doesn't ever turn out like you THINK it will, but usually that's because Heavenly Father knows what is what and why we should be doing the things we do.
I'm just grateful that I have had those few strong experiences with the spirit and never ending small promptings to point my life in the right direction. God knows our strengths and helps us realize where we can use them.
The first week was crazy cause of the whole ER/hospital/almost death we encountered.....
And this week has been crazy because I decided to change my major!
.....I know, I'm in my fourth year of school and I'm just BARELY changing....I'm nuts, right??
No!
It's times like this in my life that I know that my Heavenly Father is pointing me in the right direction. There are few times in my life that I have felt the spirit so strong telling me where I should go...and I know this is one of those times.
Rewind.
When I graduated high school I had sooooo many plans for my life- graduate in 3 years (don't worry, I had it planned out, it WAS possible), go on a mission, go to Peru and teach ninos pequenos, uhhh....yep, I basically was going to be really cool.
Now four years later I have lived through so many different things than I thought I would and may I say, I'm really glad.
I'm really glad that I lived down in Cedar and was able to experience a massive year of growing up. I'm glad that God knew I needed that experience to become independent. I'm also glad that He so strongly told me to move home after that year too. That was another time that the spirit bluntly pointed me in the right direction.
If I wouldn't have moved home I wouldn't have met Jeff. :)
Now that I'm in my 5th semester at Weber I can truly say that this is the perfect time for me to change my major.
Ever since I was in 2nd grade I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I made my neighbors who were a year older and a year younger than my sister....and my sister sit in my living room and I would teach them the things that I was learning in school. Granted they were 3, 4, and 5 year olds, but whatever.
So all this time I've had Elementary Education in my sights and wasn't ever going to look back.
Untiiiiil....recently....
The past semester or so I've been taking these "CHF" classes at Weber that "certify" elementary teachers to teach kindergarten. Weber used to only have a degree where you could teach 1st-6th grade, but they realized in the past couple of years that they really need kindergarten teachers and only adding two classes to the degree would be their ticket to licensing teachers to teach K-6.
In the end.....these two "CHF" classes were the BAIN of my existence. They were holding me back from getting into the education program. These classes HAD to be completed prior to entering the program and they couldn't be taken the same semester.
It literally took me three semesters to get into the first class because of the waiting list. Seriously.....they were the BAIN of....k, yeah, you get it.
Well, something happened when I started taking these classes.......
These classes are all about early childhood, AKA teaching kids between the ages of 2 and 5. It's totally geared toward pre-school.
I started taking these classes and kept telling myself...."these classes are BAIN of my..." but as I sat through class I was SO mezmorized by what we were learning. I was so intrigued by this so called Early Childhood Education and thought....wow, this stuff is really cool!
I then started to evaluate myself. I started thinking of what I really wanted to do with my life.
What really tipped me overboard into the sea of Early Childhood Education though was one night I was talking to this lady in my ESL class who has taught pre-school out of her home for, I dunno, 20 some odd years. She was such a sweet lady and I could tell how much she loved what she did. She spoke so highly of pre-school and the benefits of everything that she does.
I went home that night almost in a freak out because I knew I needed to change my major......
I had a "Just face it, Amber" moment when I said to myself....maybe the fact that little kids love me so much is a gift from Heavenly Father that I need to recognize and use. (Refer to my post from a month ago about me and little kids)
I didn't want to tell Jeff....or my mom....or anybody cause I was just thinking, are they going to think I'm ridiculous for wanting to teach pre-school?
Jeff is seriously the best husband ever though. When I did tell him he just listened and told me I needed to do what I really wanted to do and he would support me with whatever that decision was.
Well, I weighed the pros and cons and the more I thought it out the Early Childhood option had a lot more pros than Elementary Ed.
In the end, I did change my major to Early Childhood Education and now here I am! I've been so excited this whole week! I don't know what it is about the subject of early childhood, but it makes me love learning even more than my elementary education classes did. Learning the process of young childrens development and how they learn is fascinating to me. It's way more technical than you'd think it would be.
So now I'm going to graduate next spring. I have one semester of classes in the fall, then my student teaching will be in the spring. :) That makes a grand total of 9 semesters of school for me. Usually people graduate in 8....so 9 isn't too bad, right?
I think, in the end, the biggest reason I decided to switch was because of how I can make a career out of this major as opposed to the Elementary Education major.
With this major I can do all kinds of things like daycare, head start, pre-school....I can be a pre-school coordinator (which is essentially a principal of a pre-school, ha ha).
My real plan is to own my own pre-school at my house. I think it's the best option for a stay at home mom. I probably won't start an actual pre-school till my youngest is in school, but I can start a daycare and slowly mold it into a pre-school while my youngest kids are babies.
If I was to be an elementary teacher I would be out of the house and honestly, I think I would be a lot more stressed and not able to be in my kid's lives as much while they are little.
So that's my general plan for now....I'm going to teach pre-school and someday....far far far far far down the road if I teach for like 15 years and start to want to be around older kids then I can go back to school and get my Elementary Ed. degree.
There is so much that changes in education, even just the technology alone, that if I didn't teach in a school for over 25-30 years I would have no idea what I was doing and would need to go back to school anyways. So much changes in curriculum, laws, policies....my math teacher recently told us that all teachers are going to have to re-learn math because they are switching from arithmetic to geometric based math in the schools....in the end, too much changes that I don't think it would be smart to get that degree now.
Plus my heart is in pre-school! Ha ha :)
Having my Early Childhood degree I will always be able to do pre-school. Learning colors, how to share, counting to ten, art, music, etc. probably won't be changing.
Who knows? Maybe 40 years from now I'll still be teaching pre-school in my basement and loving every minute of it.
One thing that I've really learned through the past couple of years is life doesn't ever turn out like you THINK it will, but usually that's because Heavenly Father knows what is what and why we should be doing the things we do.
I'm just grateful that I have had those few strong experiences with the spirit and never ending small promptings to point my life in the right direction. God knows our strengths and helps us realize where we can use them.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
This one didn't kill you, but the next one could...
Hopefully their won't be a next one.
Jeff and I had a very interesting and humbling week. On Monday he went into the doctor to get a CT scan because his chest had been hurting him. After the test was over the doctor was like...."k, we'll call you in a few days with the results, bye!"
They called him a half hour after that and said "you need to go to the emergency room immediately." Jeff then proceeded to call me (I was in my night class) and told me he was going to the ER. He told me his artery by his lung was clogged or something....they didn't really know what yet.
Now, I don't know much about anatomy or medical whatever, but if you say something is seriously wrong near your heart or lungs my first thought is....Oh my gosh, he's going to die.
That's what the doctors (all approx seven of them over the next three days) said should have happened too. I wasn't there when he got to the emergency room, but Jeff's dad told me that the inital doctor kept saying how lucky he was to be alive.
What really ended up being the problem was he had a blood clot in his left lung. I guess it was big enough that it basically was his lung/he hadn't been using that lung for the past several months. (at least not to it's full capacity)
The doctors immediately put him on blood thinners. He's going to have to be on them for the next six months or more.
It's been such a humbling week for me, and I know for Jeff. During those three days in the hospital I went through so many emotions. It makes me so grateful for the Atonement. I definitely felt it working in my life this week.
I was going through emotions of thinking.....oh my gosh, it actually is possible that he could leave me. Only being married for next to 10 months you don't really think about your spouse as someone who could just up and die. We are still newly married.....aren't we supposed to have lots of babies and get fat and have Thanksgiving dinner with our grandchildren in our home that we built 30 years prior?
I have a testimony that the Atonement can help soften any feelings of guilt or sorrow or selfishness. I was feeling all of those things a lot this week!
Jeff definitely is my better half. He's so much stronger than I am and I'm so glad Heavenly Father has blessed me with him in my life. I'm so grateful that I get to live a long and happy life with him. I know this because of my faith in my Father in Heaven and the promises that He has given us.
One of the best things Jeff said to me this week was his testimony on our eternal marriage. This life is so short that even if we were to be separated for a little while, it truly only would be a LITTLE while. In the grand scheme of things we have so much to look forward to for the rest of eternity.
Eternity is a long time. So much longer than this life.
Well, I guess there is lots of good news for now! Jeff is one some shots and pills of blood thinner and will be for awhile. Pretty much the doctors have reassured us that as long as they keep his blood levels where they want them we won't have any more problems. Also, he had some genetics tests done and they came back negative which means the clotting should NOT be reoccurring.
After all of this I've decided that really it all depends on how we look at life and mold our attitude that determines how we get through things.
"We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."
-President Thomas S. Monson
Jeff and I had a very interesting and humbling week. On Monday he went into the doctor to get a CT scan because his chest had been hurting him. After the test was over the doctor was like...."k, we'll call you in a few days with the results, bye!"
They called him a half hour after that and said "you need to go to the emergency room immediately." Jeff then proceeded to call me (I was in my night class) and told me he was going to the ER. He told me his artery by his lung was clogged or something....they didn't really know what yet.
Now, I don't know much about anatomy or medical whatever, but if you say something is seriously wrong near your heart or lungs my first thought is....Oh my gosh, he's going to die.
That's what the doctors (all approx seven of them over the next three days) said should have happened too. I wasn't there when he got to the emergency room, but Jeff's dad told me that the inital doctor kept saying how lucky he was to be alive.
What really ended up being the problem was he had a blood clot in his left lung. I guess it was big enough that it basically was his lung/he hadn't been using that lung for the past several months. (at least not to it's full capacity)
The doctors immediately put him on blood thinners. He's going to have to be on them for the next six months or more.
It's been such a humbling week for me, and I know for Jeff. During those three days in the hospital I went through so many emotions. It makes me so grateful for the Atonement. I definitely felt it working in my life this week.
I was going through emotions of thinking.....oh my gosh, it actually is possible that he could leave me. Only being married for next to 10 months you don't really think about your spouse as someone who could just up and die. We are still newly married.....aren't we supposed to have lots of babies and get fat and have Thanksgiving dinner with our grandchildren in our home that we built 30 years prior?
I have a testimony that the Atonement can help soften any feelings of guilt or sorrow or selfishness. I was feeling all of those things a lot this week!
Jeff definitely is my better half. He's so much stronger than I am and I'm so glad Heavenly Father has blessed me with him in my life. I'm so grateful that I get to live a long and happy life with him. I know this because of my faith in my Father in Heaven and the promises that He has given us.
One of the best things Jeff said to me this week was his testimony on our eternal marriage. This life is so short that even if we were to be separated for a little while, it truly only would be a LITTLE while. In the grand scheme of things we have so much to look forward to for the rest of eternity.
Eternity is a long time. So much longer than this life.
Well, I guess there is lots of good news for now! Jeff is one some shots and pills of blood thinner and will be for awhile. Pretty much the doctors have reassured us that as long as they keep his blood levels where they want them we won't have any more problems. Also, he had some genetics tests done and they came back negative which means the clotting should NOT be reoccurring.
After all of this I've decided that really it all depends on how we look at life and mold our attitude that determines how we get through things.
"We can’t direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails. For maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude."
-President Thomas S. Monson
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Running to Someday
So maybe I'm broken, maybe I'm a wimp, maybe I wasn't meant to be active, maybe I was born a gimp? (I wasn't really meaning to rhyme, it just kind of happened)
Whatever the reason is I have never been a runner. This makes me really sad because running is pretty much the best thing ever.....when I'm able to do it's rather enjoyable and exhilirating!
People always say stuff like "Oh yeah....went on my 5 mile run this morning..."
Your what????
They say it like it's no big deal. I've never understood how people can run so much. I ran a HALF mile today and I was about ready to go out and buy a cake for myself cause I was so pleased.
So yeah, never been a runner.
Moral of the story is: I'm going to force myself to learn how to run better. I really do enjoy it when I'm not heaving for breath or throbbing in pain. Thus....I'm gonna train myself and someday I might be a crazy person that says "so on my 5 mile run this morning..."
Well, this will undoubtably be my last post for the year! 2011 has been a very excellent year!
I can't believe we've been married for 9 months already. Being married has taught me so much about myself. Stuff that I didn't want to know and other things that I'm happy to be the way I am.
2012 is going to be a crazy year! I feel like so much stuff is going to happen. Right now I'm trying to gear up a bunch of energy to blow through the next year of school.
Jeff and I had a great Christmas! It was so special to have Christmas morning together in our apartment. There are so many things about our life together that brings me so much joy. Sharing the love for our Savior during Christmas brought us even closer together. I think it will continue to do so every year.
Jeff tells me quite often that he loves me more and more everyday. I'm so glad I have him in my life and that he takes care of me! I sound like a baby, but sometimes I really do feel like one. I think all girls deserve a guy that will let them act irrational sometimes, but also patiently tell them to get it together, ha ha!
Well, I guess I'll see you next year, blog......
Sorry, this post is shorter than most of my usual ones! Jeff is sick right now I'm kind of distracted with other thoughts at the moment. :)
To end this, I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for my future children, and their children, and their children and so on....
I've been thinking about them a lot lately because I'm turning my blog into a book to keep for them to read someday. Hopefully they will read it and either.........learn from my mistakes, like reading about my life, think I'm crazy, want to be more like me, or use the book as a paper weight? Ha ha!
Either way I already love them and I'm glad that Jeff gets to go along with me in the journey of meeting all of them someday. :)
Whatever the reason is I have never been a runner. This makes me really sad because running is pretty much the best thing ever.....when I'm able to do it's rather enjoyable and exhilirating!
People always say stuff like "Oh yeah....went on my 5 mile run this morning..."
Your what????
They say it like it's no big deal. I've never understood how people can run so much. I ran a HALF mile today and I was about ready to go out and buy a cake for myself cause I was so pleased.
So yeah, never been a runner.
Moral of the story is: I'm going to force myself to learn how to run better. I really do enjoy it when I'm not heaving for breath or throbbing in pain. Thus....I'm gonna train myself and someday I might be a crazy person that says "so on my 5 mile run this morning..."
Well, this will undoubtably be my last post for the year! 2011 has been a very excellent year!
I can't believe we've been married for 9 months already. Being married has taught me so much about myself. Stuff that I didn't want to know and other things that I'm happy to be the way I am.
2012 is going to be a crazy year! I feel like so much stuff is going to happen. Right now I'm trying to gear up a bunch of energy to blow through the next year of school.
Jeff and I had a great Christmas! It was so special to have Christmas morning together in our apartment. There are so many things about our life together that brings me so much joy. Sharing the love for our Savior during Christmas brought us even closer together. I think it will continue to do so every year.
Jeff tells me quite often that he loves me more and more everyday. I'm so glad I have him in my life and that he takes care of me! I sound like a baby, but sometimes I really do feel like one. I think all girls deserve a guy that will let them act irrational sometimes, but also patiently tell them to get it together, ha ha!
Well, I guess I'll see you next year, blog......
Sorry, this post is shorter than most of my usual ones! Jeff is sick right now I'm kind of distracted with other thoughts at the moment. :)
To end this, I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for my future children, and their children, and their children and so on....
I've been thinking about them a lot lately because I'm turning my blog into a book to keep for them to read someday. Hopefully they will read it and either.........learn from my mistakes, like reading about my life, think I'm crazy, want to be more like me, or use the book as a paper weight? Ha ha!
Either way I already love them and I'm glad that Jeff gets to go along with me in the journey of meeting all of them someday. :)
Thursday, December 8, 2011
You'll understand when you're a mom....
I hear that phrase a lot! Ha ha ha!
It seems like their are people in my life (my coworkers) who are just waiting for me to have kids so they can be like...."ha! Don't have as much stamana with kids anymore do ya?"
I'm constantly around kids, it seems. But that's ok with me cause I love them!
From my church calling...which is in the primary, to my major which requires me to be around/analyze/teach/take care of children......my family, meaning my adorable nieces and nephews and most definitely my work where it's all about kids. I love kids!
And ya know what.............as prideful and stuck up as this sounds.....kids love me. Ha ha ha!
No really, they do. My coworkers hate it too. I have one coworker who is constantly saying the "you'll understand when you're a mom" or "maybe they don't like me as much cause I'm a mom so I'm just worn out".
I do realize that when I am a mom it will be different because I'll constantly be around my kids and that will give them 10,000 X more chances to annoy me or push me to my limits, but I have a hard time imagining myself being as snappy and unhappy with children as I see that some women are.
I think one of the main reasons, if not the only reason, kids like me so much is because I pay attention to them. Ha ha! My coworkers will be in total adult la la land and I'll just look at one of my little autistic boys and smile and next to all of them will run over to me/hug me/start playing with me. I love autistic kids so much!
We have two Shawn/Sean's in our class and they are just freakin adorable, I can't stand it most days! Autistic kids have a hard time socially so it's just funny to watch their body language. Everyday Shawn walks off the bus and come over to me. He doesn't say anything....and just leans into me (doesn't hug me...just leans) but it's a dramatic enough lean that it's pretty much shouting at me "HUG ME PLEASE! And don't stop till I say so!"
It was super cute today though cause he came over....and leaned....and then grabbed my hand and started squeezing it really gently kind of like "I hope you're not noticing that I'm trying to hold your hand" kind of way.
Ha ha! I just love them. Close to all of the kids in my class are non-verbal which means they talk with pictures a lot. However, the Shawn/Sean's are the most verbal and repeat a lot of things. Both of them today were practicing how to say "Teacher Amber" which for a kid in their situation.....those are very hard words to say!
k, now I'll get off sounding like everybody loves me.
{sidenote: we have some kids who are potty training in my class and it kind of makes me not look forward to that part of mothering at all!}
Well, in other news, the semester is over!! :)
It was a quick one for me. I took eighteen credits so I was constantly busy, but I loved it. For some reason it's easier for me to take eighteen credits then it is to only take twelve.
I think the reasoning behind that is if I have six classes I freak out a lot more. Freak out equals efficency, apparently? Whereas if I only take four classes I'm like....oh yeah, whatever, I'll get to that homework....later. Then later equals never.
Well, that's pretty much all that's going on here. Jeff's my hero! He works so hard at his job that's basically full time (35 hours). I don't remember if I ever blogged about his new (ish) job. He works at Goldenwest Credit Union at their corporate office! He pretty much does whatever the executives tell him to do. It's a pretty important job!
I hate to sound like a cheesy person all the time, but I really am very proud of him. He's going to be a great businessman someday and he already has his foot in lots of doors I feel like. I love him a lot and I'm grateful that he makes supporting us his number one priority.
Well, I guess one more semester down, five more to go! It seems like a lot when you say it that way, but really it's going by super fast!
It seems like their are people in my life (my coworkers) who are just waiting for me to have kids so they can be like...."ha! Don't have as much stamana with kids anymore do ya?"
I'm constantly around kids, it seems. But that's ok with me cause I love them!
From my church calling...which is in the primary, to my major which requires me to be around/analyze/teach/take care of children......my family, meaning my adorable nieces and nephews and most definitely my work where it's all about kids. I love kids!
And ya know what.............as prideful and stuck up as this sounds.....kids love me. Ha ha ha!
No really, they do. My coworkers hate it too. I have one coworker who is constantly saying the "you'll understand when you're a mom" or "maybe they don't like me as much cause I'm a mom so I'm just worn out".
I do realize that when I am a mom it will be different because I'll constantly be around my kids and that will give them 10,000 X more chances to annoy me or push me to my limits, but I have a hard time imagining myself being as snappy and unhappy with children as I see that some women are.
I think one of the main reasons, if not the only reason, kids like me so much is because I pay attention to them. Ha ha! My coworkers will be in total adult la la land and I'll just look at one of my little autistic boys and smile and next to all of them will run over to me/hug me/start playing with me. I love autistic kids so much!
We have two Shawn/Sean's in our class and they are just freakin adorable, I can't stand it most days! Autistic kids have a hard time socially so it's just funny to watch their body language. Everyday Shawn walks off the bus and come over to me. He doesn't say anything....and just leans into me (doesn't hug me...just leans) but it's a dramatic enough lean that it's pretty much shouting at me "HUG ME PLEASE! And don't stop till I say so!"
It was super cute today though cause he came over....and leaned....and then grabbed my hand and started squeezing it really gently kind of like "I hope you're not noticing that I'm trying to hold your hand" kind of way.
Ha ha! I just love them. Close to all of the kids in my class are non-verbal which means they talk with pictures a lot. However, the Shawn/Sean's are the most verbal and repeat a lot of things. Both of them today were practicing how to say "Teacher Amber" which for a kid in their situation.....those are very hard words to say!
k, now I'll get off sounding like everybody loves me.
{sidenote: we have some kids who are potty training in my class and it kind of makes me not look forward to that part of mothering at all!}
Well, in other news, the semester is over!! :)
It was a quick one for me. I took eighteen credits so I was constantly busy, but I loved it. For some reason it's easier for me to take eighteen credits then it is to only take twelve.
I think the reasoning behind that is if I have six classes I freak out a lot more. Freak out equals efficency, apparently? Whereas if I only take four classes I'm like....oh yeah, whatever, I'll get to that homework....later. Then later equals never.
Well, that's pretty much all that's going on here. Jeff's my hero! He works so hard at his job that's basically full time (35 hours). I don't remember if I ever blogged about his new (ish) job. He works at Goldenwest Credit Union at their corporate office! He pretty much does whatever the executives tell him to do. It's a pretty important job!
I hate to sound like a cheesy person all the time, but I really am very proud of him. He's going to be a great businessman someday and he already has his foot in lots of doors I feel like. I love him a lot and I'm grateful that he makes supporting us his number one priority.
Well, I guess one more semester down, five more to go! It seems like a lot when you say it that way, but really it's going by super fast!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Sometimes I wonder...
Sometimes I wonder where I would be without certain experiences I've had in my life...
I'm taking a class this semester that has really changed my life. It's Children's Literature.
You're thinking......ha.....she's being sarcastic....
Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure it's the best class I've ever taken. Don't let the title fool you either....it's not an easy class. We have had tons of work all semester long, including having to read 29 books. Yes, I know that's not a big deal for most people when they are considered "children's literature", but I'm not most people. :)
This class has been super beneficial to how I view education and how I'm going to act as a teacher someday.
Someday is such a vague word. Hmmmm...someday. I actually don't plan on being a teacher for a very long time and in lots of ways that scares me. I'm going to forget everything! No....probably not, but it's still interesting to think about "someday".
Which leads me to wondering....
Sometimes I wonder where I would be if my schooling hadn't turned out like it has. I still have 5 semesters of school till I graduate. I've KNOWN since my senior year in high school that I was going to do elementary ed. And now....3 1/2 years later I still have 5 semesters to go, ha ha.
It really does make me think that Heavenly Father knows a lot more about my situation than I do. Seriously, every semester I think to myself, 'well, God must know why I'm still this behind. He must know why I couldn't get into the stupid....I mean... totally awesome CHF 2610 class for the third time.' Ha ha ha! :)
Sometimes I wonder why things turn out like they do, but in the end I always find the answer: Heavenly Father knows why, it's ok if I don't.
Sometimes I wonder why......people think so differently from me. I have people in my life at work and school that I just stare at them sometimes (and sometimes they stare back which is awkward) and just think....ehhhh, k?
Ha ha. I'm not saying I don't like these people, because I really do! I just don't understand them. How they talk about their husbands, kids, lives....it's all so polar opposite of how I feel and I can't help but wonder.....why would anyone think that way?
For example, in my Spanish class today we were given the assignment to talk about/debate with the other table of students IN Spanish of course (oy) if getting married is essential to one's happiness. My table was given the assignment to argue why it's NOT essential....and the other table was given opinion of why it IS.
I just laughed the whole time while we were "planning" what we were going to say. It was me and four single girls who all had really strong opinions that getting married is not the thing to do. One girl was going NUTS over how she never needs a man and how her mother should get out of her life and stop telling her she needs to get married. Another girl was very passionate about how cohabitation is the way to go and getting married only leads to responsibility and children.
Seriously I was just laughing the whole time. Maybe that's immature of me....?...yeah, probably is.
This is my firm belief....and I'm not gonna say it in Spanish....
Getting married is the best thing anyone could ever do and leads to more happiness than any other alternative.
The girls in my group were arguing that marriage is 'not as easy and people think it's going to be' (since they are experts) and that people end up miserable and unhappy with their spouse so why would you get married in the first place?
I agree that marriage is hard at times, but it's only miserable if you make it that way. You're only unhappy if you choose that route. If you work with your spouse to be happy and be in love then.....it will happen.
The support that you get from a loving spouse is the BEST thing you could ever ask for. Not wanting the responsibility of being married is an easy way to say you're
too selfish to take care of someone besides yourself.
The happiest I've ever been has been since I've been married. I couldn't be happier with my life right now. :)
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't so shy. Jeff never fails to point out when I'm being shy and it always makes me cringe.
I grew up as the shy girl. At home I was a complete weirdo that would never shut up, but as soon as I left my front door I always had the shy face on. It wasn't till I was in 9th grade that I started to be.....not as shy?
Anybody that really has taken the time to know me knows I'm not shy, but the vast majority of the world thinks I most certainly am, ha ha.
I have some co-workers that are.....lovely....and they talk about questionable things. They are all either kinda LDS or not LDS (by kinda I mean- they are on Sundays and aren't afraid to admit it?) so they talk about things, swear, whatever whatever and after they are done/in the middle of saying something/swearing they look and me for a reaction. Most often they look at me and say "I feel so bad being naughty in front of you, Amber......*pause to wait for reaction*"
Ya know, I hate when people put me in that situation...ha ha ha. Because it t-otally puts me in my shy mode. (Yes, I have different modes) When people do that to me (and I firmly believe they are forcing it upon me *sarcasm*) my face goes red, I awkwardly say "...it's ok" and then their view of me is confirmed.
In a way, I am grateful to be viewed that way though. As urkful as it is to be labeled shy my whole life I would much rather be viewed that way than be someone who swears along with them. I'm grateful that it is blaringly obvious that I'm LDS and live those standards.
In the end, it brings me back to sometimes I wonder why people say and live the way they do. So....fascinating.
Agency is a wonderful thing, huh?
Well, those ponderings pretty much sum up my life lately! Jeff and I are doing just swell. Only 3 (ish) more weeks in the semester! I'm all registered for next semester so that's a relief!
“Live so that those who know you, but don’t know Him, will want to know Him because they know you.”
I'm taking a class this semester that has really changed my life. It's Children's Literature.
You're thinking......ha.....she's being sarcastic....
Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure it's the best class I've ever taken. Don't let the title fool you either....it's not an easy class. We have had tons of work all semester long, including having to read 29 books. Yes, I know that's not a big deal for most people when they are considered "children's literature", but I'm not most people. :)
This class has been super beneficial to how I view education and how I'm going to act as a teacher someday.
Someday is such a vague word. Hmmmm...someday. I actually don't plan on being a teacher for a very long time and in lots of ways that scares me. I'm going to forget everything! No....probably not, but it's still interesting to think about "someday".
Which leads me to wondering....
Sometimes I wonder where I would be if my schooling hadn't turned out like it has. I still have 5 semesters of school till I graduate. I've KNOWN since my senior year in high school that I was going to do elementary ed. And now....3 1/2 years later I still have 5 semesters to go, ha ha.
It really does make me think that Heavenly Father knows a lot more about my situation than I do. Seriously, every semester I think to myself, 'well, God must know why I'm still this behind. He must know why I couldn't get into the stupid....I mean... totally awesome CHF 2610 class for the third time.' Ha ha ha! :)
Sometimes I wonder why things turn out like they do, but in the end I always find the answer: Heavenly Father knows why, it's ok if I don't.
Sometimes I wonder why......people think so differently from me. I have people in my life at work and school that I just stare at them sometimes (and sometimes they stare back which is awkward) and just think....ehhhh, k?
Ha ha. I'm not saying I don't like these people, because I really do! I just don't understand them. How they talk about their husbands, kids, lives....it's all so polar opposite of how I feel and I can't help but wonder.....why would anyone think that way?
For example, in my Spanish class today we were given the assignment to talk about/debate with the other table of students IN Spanish of course (oy) if getting married is essential to one's happiness. My table was given the assignment to argue why it's NOT essential....and the other table was given opinion of why it IS.
I just laughed the whole time while we were "planning" what we were going to say. It was me and four single girls who all had really strong opinions that getting married is not the thing to do. One girl was going NUTS over how she never needs a man and how her mother should get out of her life and stop telling her she needs to get married. Another girl was very passionate about how cohabitation is the way to go and getting married only leads to responsibility and children.
Seriously I was just laughing the whole time. Maybe that's immature of me....?...yeah, probably is.
This is my firm belief....and I'm not gonna say it in Spanish....
Getting married is the best thing anyone could ever do and leads to more happiness than any other alternative.
The girls in my group were arguing that marriage is 'not as easy and people think it's going to be' (since they are experts) and that people end up miserable and unhappy with their spouse so why would you get married in the first place?
I agree that marriage is hard at times, but it's only miserable if you make it that way. You're only unhappy if you choose that route. If you work with your spouse to be happy and be in love then.....it will happen.
The support that you get from a loving spouse is the BEST thing you could ever ask for. Not wanting the responsibility of being married is an easy way to say you're
too selfish to take care of someone besides yourself.
The happiest I've ever been has been since I've been married. I couldn't be happier with my life right now. :)
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn't so shy. Jeff never fails to point out when I'm being shy and it always makes me cringe.
I grew up as the shy girl. At home I was a complete weirdo that would never shut up, but as soon as I left my front door I always had the shy face on. It wasn't till I was in 9th grade that I started to be.....not as shy?
Anybody that really has taken the time to know me knows I'm not shy, but the vast majority of the world thinks I most certainly am, ha ha.
I have some co-workers that are.....lovely....and they talk about questionable things. They are all either kinda LDS or not LDS (by kinda I mean- they are on Sundays and aren't afraid to admit it?) so they talk about things, swear, whatever whatever and after they are done/in the middle of saying something/swearing they look and me for a reaction. Most often they look at me and say "I feel so bad being naughty in front of you, Amber......*pause to wait for reaction*"
Ya know, I hate when people put me in that situation...ha ha ha. Because it t-otally puts me in my shy mode. (Yes, I have different modes) When people do that to me (and I firmly believe they are forcing it upon me *sarcasm*) my face goes red, I awkwardly say "...it's ok" and then their view of me is confirmed.
In a way, I am grateful to be viewed that way though. As urkful as it is to be labeled shy my whole life I would much rather be viewed that way than be someone who swears along with them. I'm grateful that it is blaringly obvious that I'm LDS and live those standards.
In the end, it brings me back to sometimes I wonder why people say and live the way they do. So....fascinating.
Agency is a wonderful thing, huh?
Well, those ponderings pretty much sum up my life lately! Jeff and I are doing just swell. Only 3 (ish) more weeks in the semester! I'm all registered for next semester so that's a relief!
“Live so that those who know you, but don’t know Him, will want to know Him because they know you.”
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